The Healing Place

by Clare Nonhebel

CHAPTER 35

  Ella found Rachel in the kitchen, eating a large cooked breakfast and looking totally at home. Mary was pouring coffee for her.

  ‘Come and have your breakfast in here,’ Mary invited. ‘Would you like a fry-up? No? Orange juice and dry toast?’

  ‘Perfect. Thanks.’

  ‘Is Mick all right?’ Rachel asked.

  ‘He’s asleep now.’

  ‘No, but … I heard him in the night.’

  ‘He had a lot to get out of his system. It was good.’

  Rachel looked doubtful. ‘Is he all right now?

  ‘It’ll take time. He’s allowed to be not all right, at this time.’

  ‘I don’t know what to do for him,’ Rachel said. ‘He’s not angry with me, is he?’

  ‘I don’t think he could be angry with you,’ Ella said, smiling at her.

  ‘I thought he was. Or used to be.’

  ‘He was angry with himself,’ Ella said, while Mary, busying herself around the stove, became voluntarily deaf. ‘He felt he let you down.’

  ‘How? When?’

  ‘Way back when.’

  ‘Oh, that. That was my fault! I can’t convince him! How can I make him see that?’

  ‘He doesn’t believe anything was your fault, maybe because it really wasn’t. It might help,’ said Ella carefully, unsure of her ground as Franz still hadn’t told her the circumstances that had come between him and his sister, ‘if you could tell him you forgive him.’

  ‘How can I? He didn’t do anything wrong!’

  ‘It might not help him to be told that.’

  ‘I can say it doesn’t matter; it was nothing.’

  ‘That might not help either. Obviously it wasn’t nothing to him.’

  ‘Yes, but … isn’t it like saying I do think he did something bad, if I say I forgive him?’

  ‘I see your point,’ Ella said, ‘but I still think it might work. You’re not going to convince him he did nothing wrong, because he felt really bad and he has ever since.’

  ‘So tell him I forgive him?’

  ‘If you feel like it.’

  ‘I will, then. Thanks. Ella?’

  ‘Yes? Oh, thanks, Mary. No, no tea, thanks.’

  ‘I was talking to Tina last night,’ Rachel said.

  ‘You could say that,’ said Mary dryly. ‘Talking to Tina all night would be more like it. Have you got everything you need now? I’ll leave yez to it if so.’

  ‘Yes, thanks very much.’

  As Mary went out, Rachel said, ‘Tina’s asked me to stay.’

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I said I’d let her know. Today.’

  Ella sensed her anxiety. ‘That’s nice that she’s asked you. You know Franz – Mick – wants you to do whatever you want, don’t you? We’d love to have you in London, of course, but it doesn’t have to be immediately, does it?’

  ‘No. I wondered – well, what he wanted.’

  ‘What do you want?’

  ‘I’d like to go to Tina’s for a visit. Her husband’s nice and they both asked me; they mean it. Tina’s finding it hard to cope with the kids and she said if I would help her out a bit I could get my own job and lead my own life as well.’

  ‘You mean, move in with them permanently?’

  ‘I said I didn’t want to live with anybody. I like my own space. But I could go for a couple of weeks. Then I could look for somewhere to live and get a part-time job and help Tina as well. And Tina’s going to find out about childcare courses for me.’

  ‘That sounds promising. Is it what you want?’

  ‘I think so.’

  ‘You wouldn’t get into the same situation, would you, as at your mum’s – doing all the work for Tina’s family and not having a life of your own?’

  ‘No. I won’t fall into that one again. That’s why I said I’d only stay with them a few weeks.’

  ‘Very sensible.’

  ‘Do you think so?’ Her eyes lit up, as though unused to compliments.

  ‘Definitely. If you don’t mind my asking you, are you okay for money, to tide you over till you get work?’

  She blushed. ‘Mick gave me some last night.’

  ‘Good. Will it be enough?’

  ‘Too much! I couldn’t talk him out of it. It was a lot!’

  ‘Even better,’ said Ella.

  Rachel laughed. ‘You’re not like I expected,’ she confided.

  ‘What did you expect?’

  ‘Well, I thought he would probably have a girlfriend or a wife, by his age,’ Rachel said seriously, ‘but I thought she’d be somebody ugly, and quite dull.’

  ‘Huh? Why would you think that?’

  ‘Because he always thought he was ugly. He used to say only ugly women would go for him. I know it was a joke. But I still kind of expected it!’

  ‘Ugly women do go for him,’ Ella said solemnly.

  ‘Do they? Well, I suppose he is kind.’

  ‘The trouble is, the beautiful ones go for him as well,’ Ella added.

  Rachel giggled.

  ‘Tall ones, thin ones, blonde ones, young, old – the waitress at the Grange. You name them, they like him,’ Ella sighed. ‘It’s a great trial.’

  ‘He didn’t notice the waitress eyeing him up, did he? I don’t suppose he notices the others either, most of the time,’ said Rachel.

  ‘You’re right,’ Ella said. ‘You know him well. Has he changed a lot, in the time since you last saw him?’

  ‘Not really. His hair was a bit of a shock. I thought he was Father Francis when I first saw him – the way he used to look.’

  ‘They are very alike to look at.’

  ‘He’s a lot more confident than he was,’ said Rachel thoughtfully. ‘I expect that’s down to you, isn’t it?’

  ‘What – having a beautiful girlfriend instead of an ugly one?’ Ella teased her.

  They were both laughing when Franz walked in.

  ‘Morning.’ He looked white, with dark rings under his eyes, but was smiling.

  Rachel jumped up and hugged him. ‘I forgive you,’ she said.

  She doesn’t hang about, Ella thought, but I’m not sure this is the time!

  ‘Sorry?’ said Franz, disentangling himself.

  ‘I forgive you,’ she said, more uncertainly.

  ‘For what?’

  For a moment, she was stumped. Then she said, opening her arms expansively, ‘For anything you think you’ve ever done.’

  A smile twitched at the corner of his lips. ‘Well, that covers everything!’ he said. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘You know what I mean,’ she said.

  ‘Yes,’ he said, serious. ‘I do. And I mean thank you, Rachel. I really needed to know that.’

  The hug went on a long time. Ella emulated Mary and played deaf and blind, concentrating on her toast.

  ‘So,’ said Rachel finally. ‘What are you two going to do? Get the boat back to London?’

  ‘We’re going to try and get a flight,’ Franz said. ‘I’ve given the airport a ring. There are vacant seats on one flight to Heathrow this afternoon. I have to call back if we want it.’

  ‘I’m not coming,’ Rachel said. ‘I’m going to come and visit you, if that’s all right, once I’m settled here and know what I’m doing.’

  ‘You’re going to take Tina and Martin up on their offer, are you?’ asked Franz.

  ‘How did you know about that? I haven’t told you yet!’

  ‘Martin asked me last night if it would be all right if they suggested it.’

  ‘What did you say?’ Rachel looked anxious again.

  For all her independent attitude, she still really needs his approval, Ella noted.

  ‘I told him if you wanted to do it, fine, as long as you didn’t become so tied up in their lives that you lost sight of your own ambitions. I don’t want you to end up carrying Tina like you did your mother, instead of having a life of your own.’

  ‘That’s what Ella said!
’

  ‘Ella’s a wise woman,’ Franz told her.

  ‘As well as not being ugly,’ Rachel said. She and Ella burst out laughing.

  ‘Of course she’s not ugly!’ said Franz, looking bemused. ‘What? What’s the joke?’

  ‘Franz,’ Ella said, ‘we both love you. Go and book the air tickets.’

  ‘I’m going.'