The Memoir

by Vaibhav Reddy IVN

  Having dropped the hopes of dozing off again, he stood up and paced the short distance to the washbasin. He washed his face with cold-water and began working-out for what-took-the-sun-to-rise minutes.

  After tiring-out himself for more than an hour and having some loaf of bread as breakfast in his cell, the deputy announced that the people from RCAF were going to come within the next hour to escort the prisoners to the military court for prosecution. He took his time to evaluate his choices, assuming he had any except going with the flow. He made himself comfortable in his cell and began wondering about his future, which seemed as abstruse as his past. The thought of his past reminded him again of Margaret and her assault on him. The anxiety the memory evoked increased his sense of discomfort. The more he pondered over the memory, the more the questions it arose.

  As he went over it repeatedly, he met with a sense of revelation. When he recalled the memory repeatedly, it made him feel sorrow for having survived rather than happy. It did not take him long to know why.

  THE MEMOiR

  I had just gotten off my car and walked over to the Swelter’s tip, when I realized that I had become far different from what I and my mother intended I become. The sins I had committed were sure to chase me for years to come. I had no strength left in me to live life with those sins weighing upon my soul. I believed what I was going to do was for serving me what I considered righteous. I took a step towards the railing, which separated me from the cliff’s valley and removed the gun from my blazer’s pocket. The valley welcomed to me to jump. However, it did not offer me the guarantee that I would die. I stepped back a few feet until I could no longer see the valley. I knew that the death I was going to meet would meet me through a lot of pain and suffering. But I knew that it was going to be for a few seconds, only until the bullet pierced my skull and brain. and rained them over the spot I spent my wonderful moments with Margaret. The thought of Margaret welcomed me to step-back. But I was not ready to meet her as the stranger I had become for myself. I closed my eyes and pressed the muzzle of the handgun to the bottom of my chin. My index finger moved to the trigger. Before I pressed the trigger, I mentally ran the images of my father, mother and Margaret in my mind for the last time. Margaret was the only person alive I was answerable to, from whom I was departing for good.

  As I was about to squeeze the trigger, I heard her voice. ‘Daniel!’

  I turned around in reflex and found her behind me with tears running down her cheeks. The sight of her made me more miserable than happy, despite knowing that it was the last I was going to see her. But it was short-lived, for she raised a gun at me and shot me a glare.

  ‘You brought this upon yourself, Daniel!’ she said, squeezing the trigger.

  As pain shot up my abdomen and I swayed backwards, I realized that God had decided to serve me justice the way He felt righteous.

  BACK FROM THE PAST

  The sudden surge of realization, which accompanied the memory, pushed his sense of sanity to its boundaries. He sat still for what he felt an eternity, trying to make sense of the memory, which introduced him to his suicidal instincts. He had always affiliated suicide to the family of cowardice. The revelation that he had preferred death over life at some point of his life made him doubt the consequences, which prodded him towards it.

  He stood up and paced about the cell nervously, banging his fist into the palm of the other hand. The more he thought about it, the more helpless he felt. His racing heart made him attentive of his anxiety and he dropped to the ground and involved himself in a few minutes of workout to increase the surge of endorphins to his brain. Once he felt at equilibrium, he sat down on the ground and rewound the memory once again. As he went over it, one thing became clear. The memory had an air of guiltiness all throughout, whose source he strained to remember. He grabbed a wistful of his hair in both fists and immersed himself in thought, expecting the pain to improve his memory. The endeavor proved worthless. When he finally snagged the courage to give up, he had to find another means to keep himself occupied so that he would not circle back to the same spot of jeopardy.

  The question seemed to answer itself, when the deputy appeared to announce that a Lieutenant and a soldier were waiting to load the detainees for what he called a “judicial trial”. Daniel got to his feet and followed a small crowd towards the Inspector’s office, where he found a couple of men, one who seemed about forty and the other about Daniel’s age, chatting with the Inspector. Despite seeming interested in the conversation, both the men had an air of impatience in their actions, which spilled out in the way they eyed the incoming detainees. However, the younger one’s glare changed into a look of recognition as soon as he set eyes on Daniel. He left behind the older lad and paced in Daniel’s direction.

  Daniel doubted if he owed the man something in his lost past, until he stood facing Daniel and hugged him. The lad’s display of affection assuaged Daniel, who hugged him back, despite having no recollection of meeting him.

  ‘How are you, Daniel?’ he asked, the gaze of recognition persistent.

  Daniel felt at a lack of words. He simply replied “good”. The lad seemed to sense Daniel’s suspicions about their affiliations, as his smile disappeared and he threw back a similar gaze.

  ‘Don’t you recognize me?’ he asked.

  Daniel sensed a flicker of hope in his mind about escaping the detention if he posed to recognize the man. But the senior, whom he considered the Lieutenant, grabbed the chance.

  ‘Manyap, do you know him?’ the senior asked.

  The young lad called Manyap walked towards the senior and explained something in the senior’s ears for a couple of minutes, which he listened intently and responded with a satisfying nod. Manyap moved to the Inspector’s desk and grabbed a file. The both of them went through it for a few seconds before halting at a particular page. They read something for a minute and gazed at Daniel. Once the senior nodded his satisfactory nod for a second time, Manyap returned to Daniel and escorted him outside. Once they were a few yards away from the Cyber Crime Police Station, Manyap halted Daniel and turned to him.

  ‘Daniel, are you alright?’ he asked.

  Daniel nodded in response. As he stood there, free of his punishment, new questions formulated in his mind. Unable to keep his curiosity at bay, Daniel grabbed the chance to begin his questions.

  ‘What did you tell him?’ he asked, keeping aside his doubts of their association.

  ‘I told him what any military man knowing you might have said. You are one of us. There is no way you would criticize our own people on social media.’

  Daniel was still clueless. ‘Us? Our people?’ he asked.

  ‘Yeah, the military, RCAF. We worked in the SAF. Do not try to sound sarcastic. You aren’t good at that.’

  Military? What did I have to do with military?

  The new streak of revelations boggled him. He pushed past Manyap and settled on the pavement, holding his head. As he questioned the new revelations, few things made sense. His conversation with Margaret in his memory about being away for two years made sense for him. Yet, few other questions remained orphaned of answers.

  ‘Look Manyap, you seem to be a friend of mine,’ he said. The statement met with a confused gaze from Manyap. ‘But, I must notify you. I am suffering from retrograde amnesia, whereupon I am clueless about the events of the past four years. So, if I met you during that time, I am sorry for not remembering.’

  He searched Manyap’s face for any sort of expression. But he gazed into air, as if he was trying to analyze the situation. Once he was done with what he had to fiddle with, he nodded at Daniel and offered him a hand. Daniel took it and stood up.

  ‘OK Daniel, I slightly understand your situation. Once I am done with leaving the detainees at the RCAF court, I will join you and help you with the details of my version of your past. We will get done with the loading within the next hour if the truck arrives soon enough.’

  Daniel felt a sudden surge of contentment a
t finally meeting someone, who could help him catch-up with his past. He hugged Manyap and patted his back in response. Manyap returned it for a second before he pulled off. When Daniel tried to figure-out the reason for the sudden pull-off, he found Manyap gazing behind Daniel.

  ‘Do you know him?’ he asked.

  When Daniel turned around, he found the beefy guy with the pierced eyebrow standing a few inches behind him. Before he had time to appreciate himself for his deductive skills, he was upon the both of them and when Daniel came back to his senses, he found himself in the back of a moving van with Manyap lying unconscious by his side.

  What the…

  THE COUNTRY OF CHAOS

  OUTSIDE CYBER CRIME POLICE STATION- TWELVE DAYS POST THE JUDGMENT DAY

  SEATED IN THE COROLLA and waiting for the two military men to reappear at the military truck, Cynthia stamped her foot on the floor of the car impatiently. She straightened up as she watched Daniel exit the police station, accompanied by the younger one of two military people. She wanted to make her move towards Daniel, but the additional presence made her halt in the car and wait. They went through a series of exchanged sentences followed by Daniel hugging the man, before the beefy guy was onto them. He shoved them into the back of a van and drove away. Cynthia quickly put the car in gear and raced behind them.

  What the…

  ROSS’S RESIDENCE- 1991

  Santo motioned slowly, but confidently, towards Ross, as he stood there perplexed, afraid to move even a single muscle in his body. Santo kicked the knife away and gestured for Ross to move to the dining chair. Once Ross sat down, Santo sat down on the opposite side of the table, with his gun aimed at Ross, ready to pass down his instructions to Ross.

  ‘Look Mr. Ross, from what I have gained about you, you seem to be a family man. You do not seem to mind taking instructions from someone. Actually, that is what you do at your office. So if you follow my instructions, you are good to spend time with your family. Or else, you are good to spend time, but as a loner. I believe you get me,’ Santo said.

  When he was done, he expected Ross to display something, which would indicate that he understood. Instead, what he received in response was a confused stare. Santo stood up from his place and stood two feet in front of Ross, with the gun aimed at his head.

  ‘OK,’ he said, displaying his annoyance in his tune. ‘I want you to understand that your wife is in the clutches of my people. So, if you want her back alive, you must follow my instructions,’ he yelled.

  The latter evoked a response from Ross. He hoisted his arms in the air and stood up. ‘I will do anything you say. I just want my wife to stay safe. That’s all I need.’

  Santo felt relieved at finally making him understand what was at stake. He thought it better to begin.

  ‘Grab your car keys,’ he said.

  Ross hurriedly grabbed the keys and hustled out. Santo motioned him to get into the driver’s seat and once they were in the car, they buckled up. Santo led the way to the destination.

  PRIME MINISTER GODWIN’S RESIDENCE, SILVINKERIA

  Prime Minister Godwin Nyl Sanders was dressed up in his usual Armani suit for the inauguration of the Rochen Fort that afternoon. He glanced for a second at the grandfather clock in his office, which displayed 10.15. The inauguration was set to begin at 12.30 that afternoon. However, Godwin knew otherwise. After waking up at five in the morning, he had brief encounters with his wife and his secretary, and kept to himself for most of the time. He did not appreciate others witnessing his nervousness and trying to connect it with something, especially the tragedy that was going to follow.

  Overwhelmed with nervousness, his usually soft chair became annoyingly uncomfortable and he paced about the room in anxiety. After unsuccessfully trying to mitigate his anxiety, he retrieved the bottle of whisky from the cabinet and poured himself a strong drink. Sipping at it, he glanced once again at the clock. It said 10.40.

  Having given up all efforts to calm down, he lifted the receiver off the hook and verified if it was on a secure line. After confirming it, he dialed the personal number of Gabriel Nyl Romero. He answered on the second ring.

  ‘Romero, have you received any updates from Santo?’ he asked nervously, wiping off sweat with his sleeve.

  ‘Yes, Mr. Sanders. He said that he had picked up Ross from his house after eight, and is on his way to Klaxon Flyover as we speak. He is awaiting further instructions.’

  ‘Good. Is everything in order?’

  ‘Absolutely, sir. All it needs is a single flip from our side.’

  ‘Everything must go according to plan.’

  ‘Yes sir.’

  Once he ended the call, Godwin sensed his spirits rising. He soothed himself and sipped the fluid leisurely. After ensuring that he had drowned until the final drop in the glass, he replaced the bottle and the glass, and walked over to the bathroom. Looking himself in the mirror, he straightened his apparel and matted his hair. He grinned a little and then changed it into a frown.

  A little practice would not hurt.

  He retreated into his office, switched on the TV and flipped through the channels with the TV on mute. All the news channels were busy telecasting the arrangements for the inauguration. Godwin moved closer to the TV and peered at the screen closely for any signs of familiar faces. It tired his eyes and he retreated to his seat.

  When he glanced at the clock again, it was 10.55.

  Few more minutes to go, pals.

  EDDAOF HQ, EXPLOSIVES UNIT

  Donald Jol Miller, Chemist in Explosives Unit of EDDAOF, sat in his chair gazing at his table covered with files. Even though he had plenty on his hands, he waited for one particular file, which he believed would change his future. He knew perfectly what he had to do. His retrieved the mirror from his shelf and examined his bloodshot eyes. It had been one hell of a day, as he had to spend the early hours of the day, working on Ross’s car. His two years’ experience in the RCAF had proven fruitful in helping him install the explosive. Even to this day, he wondered how a short man like him had secured a place in the military.

  He thought about how his role in solving many blasts had gone unrecognized. The thought of taking credit for something he had not done made him believe it as a reprisal for the fame he was previously deprived. He hoped that he was going to be famous for playing a vital role in analyzing the explosive that was going to claim many lives at the Rochen Fort, if everything went according to plan.

  He glanced at his watch and found that the time was 10.30 in the morning. He lifted the receiver of the phone off the hook and started dialing the Senior Scientist’s number, when the clerk appeared in his office with an envelope, which said “Confidential”. He left the envelope on the table and left. Donald jumped at the file, like a kid jumping at his Christmas gifts, and opened the envelope.

  There was a blue file, which branded the symbol of Fremian Ordnance Factory. The first thing he had to do was remove the papers of the file and burn the cover of the file. He did so in bathroom and flushed the ashes and the remains down the toilet.

  All he had to do next was to enact the plot and prepare the document, explaining the blast materials and pose in front of the media as the genius behind uncovering the mystery.

  There is no mystery for us, just a play.

  FREMIA DAILY OFFICE- TWELVE DAYS POST THE JUDGMENT DAY

  Roland Byn Clifton, Chief Editor of Fremia Daily, gazed at the calendar on his wall. It was 12 September. Daniel Xavier had to reach him with the report before two days. Yet, he did not show up. When he initially heard from Daniel about some interesting revelations about the Rochen Fort Blasts of 1991, it immediately secured his undivided attention. The blasts were the principal reason he was crippled. However, he attributed his achievement as chief editor of the daily to the motivation incurred by his spirit to show people that he was physically crippled, not mentally.

  When he found from Daniel about some foul play behind the blasts, he readily agreed to publish it in his news
paper at any cost. That had been six months ago, when Daniel had promised him that his half-completed report would be done by September. But the lack of response from Daniel worried him. He picked up his phone and dialed Daniel’s number. It said that his phone was switched-off.

  He ended his endeavor and dropped the phone on the table with a thud. He had been receiving the same reply since the last twenty-four hours and its persistence agitated him, besides worrying him. He tried to deal the response optimistically. But his instincts, which said that something was wrong, constantly disturbed him.

  GODWIN SANDER’S RESIDENCE- TWELVE DAYS POST THE JUDGMENT DAY

  Godwin sat on the couch holding his phone. His fingers constantly moved to the dial icon on the screen, but he restrained himself. It had taken him a long time to come up with that decision. After nearly making up his mind, he had thought of informing his party men about the decision and debating it. However, he was able to anticipate their response, which dropped all hopes of a proper future for the party. If he decided to act according to his instincts, he knew that he would face opposition from his men. But he had his ways to make them understand, if not, suppress them and bring them together to support his decision.

  He let out a sigh and clicked the dial icon on his phone’s screen. The person answered after a couple of rings.

  ‘Jeremy speaking,’ the voice said.

  ‘Jeremy, it’s Godwin Sanders,’ Godwin said. He did not intend to linger around. He came straight to the point. ‘Jeremy, I’d like to offer you a place in our party. I intend to nominate you to the parliament. There is something very important that has prodded me to ask for your help. Would you like to take the offer? How about we talk about this tomorrow at nine in my house?’