Lady Amelia's Mess and a Half

by Grace, Samantha

  “No.” Turning her cheek, she shoved her palms against his chest. He released her immediately, caught by surprise.

  She stumbled backward, recovered her footing, and fled behind her chair. Her hand rested on the barrier between them.

  “Jake, please. Y-you cannot hold me like that, or… or kiss me… anymore.”

  His irritation flared. “What nonsense is this? I cannot kiss you anymore? You are to be my wife.”

  “No.” She gripped the seat back; the color drained from her face. “I can’t marry you. While you called on Lana, Mr. Tucker visited Verona House—”

  “Tucker came here? What did he want?”

  “He didn’t come of his own accord. I requested his presence.”

  Fury flew over him. Every muscle in his body ached for release. He longed to beat the man bloody, or to bellow toward the ceiling. Or break every precious piece of porcelain in the room. “Damnation, Amelia! Are you vulnerable to every scoundrel within your vicinity?”

  How could this be happening again? Was she tossing him over for Tucker just as she had done with Audley and then Forest? He stalked to the sideboard, considered pouring a generous drink, and changed his mind.

  He whipped around ready to chastise Amelia, but her misery extinguished his hot temper. She trembled and looked as if she might collapse to the floor. He flinched. “Good lord. This isn’t about Tucker, is it?”

  She shook her head. “Only in the sense that he is the bearer of devastating news.”

  “Egads.” Jake ran a rough hand through his hair. “I’m the most deplorable jackass alive.”

  “No,” she said on a breath.

  “I am. At least in the top ten of first-rate jackasses. I promised to listen, but instead I have been ranting like a madman.”

  “Truly, it’s all right.”

  “No, it isn’t.” He moved away from the sideboard, closer to her. “What I said was crude and undeserved.”

  She studied him, her brow wrinkled, as if weighing whether to confide in him. Her doubt ripped open his chest. He had done this, made her frightened to trust him.

  “Amelia, please. I should have controlled my temper. Forgive me.” He returned to his seat and gestured toward the chair she had vacated. “I want to keep my word. Let me assist with finding a solution to whatever dilemma you are facing. Won’t you have a seat?”

  Amelia skirted the chintz chair and sat, demurely folding her hands in her lap. “I think I should simply blurt it out. Then I may give the details.” She drew in a shaky breath. “My husband is alive.”

  Jake listened, waiting for the problem to present itself. Her words didn’t penetrate his understanding for several seconds. “Pardon, but did you say Audley is alive?”

  “I’m afraid that is the truth of it. Yes.”

  Jake almost melted with relief. He didn’t wish to patronize her, but he had some experience with a woman’s intuition. And it didn’t prove to be as accurate as the fairer gender often claimed.

  “But he no longer calls himself Audley,” she said. “He has adopted the surname of Canaan, and he no longer identifies himself as nobility. David owns a bookshop in New Orleans.”

  A corner of Jake’s mouth quirked upward. Audley working as a tradesman? Did Amelia know nothing about her deceased husband? David Caine would rather die a thousand times than lower himself to do anything resembling labor.

  “Mr. Tucker toys with you, sweetheart. Perhaps I should challenge him to fisticuffs as a just reward for his deceit.”

  “Mr. Tucker doesn’t know about Audley or our marriage. Even now, he has no inkling what I coaxed him into revealing.” She leaned forward, her eyes darkening. “In the park this morning, he repeated a story he had heard from an acquaintance in New Orleans. It was a story from my childhood. I never told anyone except my husband.”

  Jake rubbed his forehead, trying to absorb what she was saying. “And this is your proof Audley is living in America and passing himself off as a tradesman?”

  “It proves nothing, I know. Audley could have told my story to someone else. This is the reason I summoned Mr. Tucker. I needed to gather more information. The bookstore keeper is named David too—David Canaan. He kept the same initials.”

  Good Lord. Amelia was grasping at straws. Did marriage to him frighten her so that she saw evidence where none existed?

  She frowned and dropped back against the seat back. “Even that does not prove anything, I realize, so I questioned Mr. Tucker further. Do you recall Audley’s ring, the one given to him by his father?”

  “The black one. Yes, I recall it.”

  “This gentleman wears his ring. Audley never would have parted with it. How would this gentleman have his jewelry unless it was him?”

  “Do you realize how ridiculous this sounds? Audley’s grave is in Sussex. His brother received his body. Don’t you think Thomas would know whether he buried his brother?”

  “But Thomas admitted the body was too badly burned to identify. He took Lord Henley’s word for it, but what if David promised Lord Henley something for his silence?”

  Jake crossed his ankle over his knee. “There is still the matter of a badly burned corpse buried at Crossing Meadows. How do you explain this fact?”

  Amelia twisted her fingers together. “David traveled with two companions, I was told. Lord Henley accompanied the body back to Crossing Meadows, but no one has heard from, nor seen, Lord Patterson since his departure for Glasgow.”

  Jake’s spine stiffened. “Are you suggesting foul play?”

  “I don’t know what to think. But I know in my heart my husband is alive, and he’s living in New Orleans.”

  “Do you still love him?”

  “No! How could I love him? Audley was a deplorable husband, and he left me long before he faked his death.”

  “He abandoned you?”

  Amelia’s face flushed pink. Jake sensed her humiliation as deeply as if it were his own. What else had he done to her?

  He forced himself to speak his fears. “Did he harm you?”

  She shook her head, much to his relief. “He never lifted a hand toward me, but he never loved me.” She finally met his gaze. “Not like I have been loved by you. Truly, not at all. So why should I be tied to him? It is unfair.”

  Jake fought the urge to gather her to him again, wanting to avoid upsetting her further by doing what she’d asked him not to do. He rested his elbow on the armrest and rubbed his chin. Audley couldn’t possibly be alive, but until Amelia reached the same conclusion, Jake must respect her wishes, or he was no better than Audley.

  “If I told you I wanted to be with you anyway, would you allow me?” he asked.

  “Please, don’t ask me to make that choice. I am not strong enough to deny you anything for long.”

  “Then help me to understand. As far as England is concerned, David Caine is dead. There would be no penalties imposed upon you if he returned one day.”

  “Yet, our marriage would become void, Jake. Our children would be illegitimate. Whether I like it or not, I’m already married. I cannot practice bigamy simply because England thinks Audley is dead. I know he’s not.”

  Jake would be damned if he surrendered her without a fight. Rising from the chair, he walked to her carved oak secretary. “We’ll send a post to Thomas on the morrow, requesting his immediate response. He will confirm that either he is in possession of the ring, or else the ring rests with his brother. Then you will see you are free to marry.”

  He didn’t wait for her consent before procuring a sheet of foolscap and dipping the quill in the inkwell. Hastily, he scribbled a brief missive before folding the foolscap and sealing it using her wax and seal. “There. If it goes out first thing, we could have an answer before the end of tomorrow.”

  A small crease formed between her brows.

  “Don’t worry, Amelia. Soon we will put this entire affair behind us.”

  Later the next day, Jake’s confidence faltered as he read Thomas’s response. The
ring hadn’t arrived at Crossing Meadows with Audley.

  He tossed the letter on the table. “This only proves his ring was stolen.”

  Amelia picked up the letter and stared at it. When her gaze met his again, sadness glimmered in the depths of her eyes. “You cannot believe that to be true. Jake, we must accept that Audley is alive. I’m not free to marry.”

  “No!” He shoved from the table. “I refuse to believe it. And if he is alive, he left you.” He stalked from Amelia’s breakfast room headed for the front door. Her skirts rustled as she hurried after him. “Where are you going?”

  “Daniel sets sail for America on the morrow. Begin preparations for departure. We will be on that ship.”

  “Whatever are you talking about? I can’t go to America.”

  “Your marriage to Audley will be dissolved even if I have to drag him to the courts. He doesn’t deserve to be your husband.”

  Twenty-seven

  “What do you mean you aren’t going?” Bibi launched from her seat, startling Amelia. “You must go. Have you lost control of your faculties?”

  Amelia sipped her tea and tried to appear calm, although her insides were running riot. No good could come from a confrontation with Audley. A man who had taken such pains to disappear was not likely to return to England to divorce her. The entire affair was costly and could take years, and in the end, Audley could successfully sue her, forbidding her from ever remarrying. He might be spiteful enough to try it, too.

  “Jake doesn’t want to face the truth, so I must be the voice of reason,” Amelia said. A divorce was tantamount to social death. She would no longer be welcomed in most circles, and neither would Jake or their offspring. “What kind of life could we hope to have?”

  “The kind where you can be together.”

  Amelia shook her head. “He deserves better, but he refuses to listen to logic.”

  Bibi marched over to her, grabbed her by the shoulders, and shook her hard. She was surprisingly strong for such a tiny woman. “Perhaps you are the one not listening. Or maybe you have finally lost your mind. The man loves you.”

  Amelia pried Bibi’s fingers from her person and rubbed her shoulder. “Need I remind you that you never wished for me to marry Jake?”

  “Really, Amelia, can you think of no one but yourself?”

  “Me?”

  “See! There you go again.” Bibi’s hands landed on her hips. “Me, me, me. I’ll have you know I put considerable effort toward liking your gentleman, and this is no way to show your appreciation. Tossing the poor man over.”

  “You barely put forth any effort until recently.”

  “But when I did, it was a lot.” Bibi threw her arms out wide to illustrate the magnitude of her sacrifice. “A. Lot.”

  Amelia set her jaw. “I see no cause for me to sail halfway around the world. Mr. Hillary could face dire consequences if our association continues. It is better to sever our connection now.”

  “Mr. Hillary.” Bibi scoffed. “You cannot hide behind propriety forever, Amelia.”

  “I’m not hiding. And I do not take your meaning.”

  “Yes, you are. I know you well. You are not unaffected by the prospect of living without him, so cease with pretending you don’t care.”

  Amelia’s gaze dropped to her lap. Of course she was affected, but how much worse would it be to watch him lose everything?

  She squared her shoulders and met Bibi’s dark stare. “I am needed in London. The renovations for the foundling hospital will begin in a few weeks, and with no one to oversee the project… I’ve made up my mind.”

  “Well”—Bibi wagged a finger in her face—“I demand you change it.”

  Amelia drew back. “You cannot demand for me to change my mind.”

  “And as for the project,” Bibi continued, ignoring that Amelia had spoken, “I’m just as capable of overseeing everything as you are. In fact, I want to do it. I need it. Call me selfish, but I don’t care.”

  “But I—”

  “How many times must I state this, Amelia? Not everything is about you. Allow others to reap the benefits of your good works for once. All those warm feelings and such.”

  “Bibi—”

  Her friend nailed her with a determined glare. “You will be on that ship tomorrow, even if I must arrange for your abduction.”

  Amelia closed her eyes, shook her head, and released a forceful breath. “I wish I could dismiss your ranting as that of a madwoman, but I learned long ago never to put anything past you.”

  “Splendid, then you are not such a noddy after all.”

  ***

  Amelia squirmed under Captain Hillary’s intense glare. He occupied the better half of one side of the table in his ship’s quarters while she and Jake sat side by side across from him. The imposing man appeared even larger in his cabin than he had in the ballrooms.

  The way his eyes narrowed as he leaned on his forearms made her stomach quake. She couldn’t rule out the possibility of him tossing her overboard any moment. The tense silence became too difficult to bear. She searched her surroundings for something to compliment, perhaps to win his favor.

  “Y-you have a nice boat, Captain.”

  The man’s jaw tightened and his teeth flashed when he sneered. “The Cecily. Is. Not. A. Boat.”

  Jake crossed his arms over his chest and returned his brother’s glare. “You are acting like a blasted arse. Amelia isn’t a seaman.” He glanced toward her. “The Cecily is a ship, sweetheart. Anything over three masts.”

  “Oh.” Her cheeks heated. She had insulted Captain Hillary, the opposite of what she had intended.

  “I’m aware Lady Audley isn’t a seaman,” the captain snapped, “which is the reason she doesn’t belong on my ship.”

  “She is a passenger,” Jake said. “You carry passengers all the time.”

  Captain Hillary jabbed his finger against the table. “Not women. A ship is no place for women.”

  Amelia wished they would stop discussing her as if she weren’t there.

  “Damnation, Jake!” Captain Hillary banged his fist, startling her. “What are you thinking bringing her to New Orleans? Look at her.” He swept a hand in her direction. “She’s as delicate as a flower.”

  “I am not.” Amelia bristled over his assessment of her fortitude. “And I won’t stay behind. If you refuse to carry me to America, I’ll find another way.”

  Her outburst earned another severe glower from the brute. “The hell you will.” A thick finger pointed toward her. “You will abide by every edict I lay down. Do you understand?”

  When had the man become such a stickler about rules? As far as she knew, he broke every edict society handed out. Why, she wouldn’t put it past him to have broken a few laws of nature either.

  Jake placed his arm on her chair back. “Amelia is under my protection. You needn’t trouble yourself with giving her orders.”

  Captain Hillary’s fierce stare landed on Jake. “Very well, Brother. She’s your responsibility, and God help you if you don’t keep her under close watch.” He returned his attention to Amelia. “And as for you… Never let me catch you alone on this ship. You are to be with Jake at all times or safely in your cabin with the door barred. In the event we encounter a storm, you are to extinguish the lanterns and stay put. I will not have you swept overboard, am I clear?”

  Storms? Amelia swallowed hard. She hadn’t stopped to consider any dangers of traveling by sea. “I understand, Captain Hillary.”

  His expression softened. “You and Jake will take your meals with me. I have assigned you both to the cabin below my quarters.”

  “We are to share a cabin? But Jake said they are small. My trunks and lady’s maid alone will…”

  One raised eyebrow from the captain made her trail off.

  “I don’t have the luxury of space, Lady Audley. My first mate gave up his cabin to make room for you. Everyone must share quarters. I had assumed you would prefer to share with Jake. If that’s not t
he case, I’ll make arrangements for you to share with someone else.”

  “That wasn’t my meaning, sir.”

  “And your lady’s maid stays behind.”

  “I need her.” She looked to Jake to speak up on her behalf, but he offered a sheepish shrug.

  “I’m sorry, Amelia. I promise to make it up to you later.”

  She turned an angry scowl on the captain. “Why can’t she travel with us? Surely there is a place for her.”

  “There isn’t, so either your lady’s maid stays behind or your trunks. Better yet, we could leave you in England where you may continue to enjoy the luxuries you cannot do without.”

  “Enough, Daniel.” Jake’s tone was sharp. “Amelia is coming with us. Her maid will return to Verona House.”

  Amelia crossed her arms and huffed. No lady’s maid, indeed. It would serve the gentlemen right if she wore the same dress the entire voyage.

  ***

  Jake escorted Amelia below deck and pointed out the limited amenities in their quarters. At least the cabin boasted a small window to allow in some natural sunlight, but it wouldn’t open to welcome fresh air. The space was tidy, but plain. She stopped at the foot of the bed, gaping at the straw mattress as if staring into the pits of hell.

  “It’s more comfortable than it appears,” he offered as he came up behind her to place his hands on her shoulders. He kneaded her tense muscles, happy that she allowed him to touch her. Two nights ago, she had forbidden him from kissing her, but that was before Jake had promised to help free her from her disastrous marriage, if Audley was even alive. “We could try it out.”

  The thought of Amelia pressed against him caused his pulse to jump.

  She shrugged away from him. “I’ll take your word for it.” Her clipped tone made him frown.

  Surely she understood they must do without the luxuries of home for the time, but their sacrifices would be worth it. If there was any other way, he wouldn’t insist on her traveling with him, but he needed her present if she wanted to end her marriage. Unlike England, New Orleans was governed by the Napoleonic Code, which allowed for divorce by mutual consent.