by Caldon Mull
“Will it be like this with Jessie?” Paul swallowed again “This… special?”
“You love her?” I sighed happily.
“Oh… fuck, yeah!” He grinned. “More’n anythin’.”
“Well, buddy… love is a lot more powerful than a crush, hear.” I stroked his broad, smooth back “I guess it lasts longer, and I guess it’s built to hold out against all the little things that makes life difficult. So I guess if ya work on it… yeah, it will be. Also…” I kissed his lips, he kissed back gently “… if you show her and guide her, she’ll feel the same way you are, now.”
“Wow!” Paul breathed, snuggled again. “Andy?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m gonna remember this fer my whole life. The team, the tour… ‘n you an’ Tank…”
“Yeah?”
“… an’ I left home lookin’ fer something that’d make a difference in … in me… a virgin boy with big plans fer his life… an’… an’ I found it. Right here…” he placed a hand over my heart “…an’ the way you play, jes’ plain full out… an’ you never look back…” he swallowed again, carried on “…an’ the way you an’ Tank… took me… an’ showed me what I could do, an’ what I could feel, an’ what I’m feelin’ now… scared an’ proud an’ happy, all at once. What’s that?”
“Guess you a Man now.” I smiled, hugged his shoulder “You got Tank ‘n me stamp of approval.”
“I never figured that… It’s supposed to be wimmen-folk all hung up about the virgin thing… But I got all these butterflies and a warm feelin’ ta boot, kinda squished together… Is it like that for you?”
“I guess that’s what being a man is all about, all the time. Scared that you not makin’ the right choices for the ones you love… Proud that you made right ones, when you made them… Happy that you with ones you love in the first place… Just like your Pappy an’ your Gran’pappy and like everyone else who ever lived.”
“Yeesh,” Paul sighed happily and started to doze “I guess I bin asleep my whole life up to now. I never knew what bein’ a Man felt like…” he yawned hugely “… reckon I’ve bin too scared of being one to jes’ get on with being one…”
“Yeah.”
“Andy?” quietly, almost asleep. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.” Three breaths later he was asleep.
“Me too, kid.” I kissed his sleeping head “Oh, God… me too.”
Breakfast was chaotic, we ate in, but our rooms had been tidied and paid for, and the luggage compartment of the bus was full of smelly, crumpled kit all safely locked away and stored, ready to go.
I was hugging a couple of coffee’s in the lobby, while Alex was reading the local paper, gleefully. Dean sat next to him, sipping on coffee and grinning his I’m-not-taking-this-shit- anymore grin. He winked at me. I smiled, quirked an eyebrow back and took another sip. He nodded at Alex. Something was up.
“The masterful performance of the Storyville side showed in every aspect of their game.” Alex read, chortling “From the depth and the experience of their Forwards to the sheer strength of their Defenders, the side impressed on all counts. The combination of Hoskins, Finch, Blunt and Barker making the most of a definitive sweeping style of attack combination between Quarterback and Wide Receiver positions that this reporter has never quite seen before.” Alex jabbed at the paper with an excited finger. “There… see! Blunt! I’m in the papers, haley-fuckin’- looyah”
“Read on, buddy.” Dean prompted with a small, evil smile.
“Hmmm… ‘The Defenders were equally impressive with the sheer size of Butcher and Summers and the agility of Flasnowsky and Berg combining to make the team a juggernaut of touchdown opportunities the Team is hungry enough to exploit to their full advantage. Top scorer so far in the Team is Blunt at Quarterback, who at this rate will soon be top scorer in the league.’ Wow! From your mouth to God’s ears, baby!” Alex hugged the paper to his chest.
“Hmmm, carry on. There’s more.” Dean sprinkled some more sugar in his cup, stirred. “Where? Ah… ‘But as impressive as Blunt is, my vote for MVP definitely belongs to the Wide Receiver Finch. The sheer impressive speed over distance, southpaw accuracy and toughness of this young man does not fully cover the scope of his abilities. Not only does he score an impressive number of touchdowns himself, but he has a magical ability to make even more for his teammates. His hard work and long distance passing ability means that no opportunity would go to waste…’ This… this goes on for another paragraph.” Alex gasped.
“At the end of it, he says he’s a big fan of this team and expects us to go all the way to the finals.” Dean clicked his empty cup into his saucer, stood up and dusted off his chino’s. “I reckon he’s sayin’ there’s no ‘i’ in ‘team’.” He walked off stiffly.
“Fuckin’ gimme that!” I snarled and tugged the paper from Alex’s numb hands. “Fuck, I don’t need this!”
“But I do.” Alex sighed behind his hands, rubbing his face. “I really do…” he muttered quietly. My anger evaporated, suddenly.
“You enjoying the game still?” I growled. “Hell, yes.” He looked up, smiled weakly. “You scorin’ huge amounts of touchdowns?”
“Yup, it says so there.” His smile strengthened. “You still part of this team to the finals?” “Fuck, yes!” he grinned broadly.
“Your strategies still running circles around all the other playmakers?”
“Sir, Yes, Sir!”
“Well then, it’s a good thing you not stressing so much about who’s noticing you that you fuck up your game, you pussy!” I tossed the paper over to him, narrowly missing Jase with the flying leaves.
“Hey wassup?” he startled.
“You ‘n Flash got your names in the paper.” I chuckled, Alex was smiling back at me. “Also, Alex is pissed I got the reporter to dinner and a movie last night and let him fuck my ass fer four hours.”
“Really?” Jase grabbed the paper, peering at the article “Where it say that?”
“Under ‘horse-hung goober-head’” I stood up while Jase plumped down next to Alex and thumbed through the article, slowly mouthing the words.
“Hey Alex, says you top scorer…” Jase frowned as he poured through the article.
I ruffled Alex’s hair on the way past, and he leant into the caress. “Yeah, but see where he says he expects us to get.”
“The finals, wow!” Jase grinned at Alex “They think we’re a really good team!”
“Hell, I reckon we the best team around!” Alex pointed to the column “You wanna go tell Flash his name in there too?”
We took the long way around back home, Bobby steered the bus to small, sleepy Atlantic seaside resort town before lunch and pulled up next to the beach. The sun outside the air conditioned bus was sharp and there was no- one really around, only a hand holding couple and an old lady walking her dog on the sands.
“Boys!” Bobby waved his hands for attention “I always wanted to do this.” He shucked down to his boxers and bolted out the door. We sat in stunned silence for a few seconds, then whooped and started to tear our clothes off too, bolting over the stinging hot sands in our bare feet. Soon we were all splashing in the chilly water, ducking each other and body-surfing the waves. Two dogs had found us and were chasing sticks Meat and Flash were tossing to each other, tongues lolling and having the time of their doggy lives.
Mostly done with the chilly Atlantic water, we stretched out and sunning ourselves dry when a cop car pulled up slowly next to the bus. I got up and sauntered over, being nearest and the only one half awake. A beefy cop in his early fifties got out and walked over, a crushed ice in his hand.
“Howdy.” He tipped his cap “You boys gonna leave the bus open like that all day.”
“No sir,” I grinned at him, shifting from foot to foot on the hot asphalt. “Think it’ll get heisted?”
“Nah.” He grinned back “I c’n smell the jocks from here. ‘jack’s would pass out afore they got the main street clear.”
“You the FC?” The cop walked past me and put his foot up against the small wooden fence to the beach, looking at us dozing in the sun.
“Yessir.” I nodded.
“Which one are you?” He sipped his slush “I heard they had a tough time up thar with rains over Christmas.”
“Finch, Sir.” I shivered in the wind “That would be so. Very wet.”
“Their Wide Receiver, eh?” The cop tipped his cap back, squinted at me “I hearda ya, you a lot burlier than I thought you’d be.”
“Clean living, Sir.” I laughed.
“Any booze on the bus?” the cop waved at the boys.
“About a dozen Millers, Sir.”
“Pints or Quarts?”
“Pints.”
“Hmmm. No drinkin’ on the sands, y’hear. ‘Sides, I reckon there’s not enough hooch to get even one a’ ya rowdy.”
“I reckon not, Sir.”
“Mind yer litter, too.” The cop grinned and started towards his car. “Oh, Mister Finch?” “Yessir?”
“You ‘n Blunt give ‘em Hell come finals, hear?”
“Do my best, Sir. Promise.”
The car pulled away and I skipped over the hot sands where Alex and Bobby were walking to meet me.
“What was that?” Alex squinted into the sun.
“Local Law, checking us out. Asked how much booze we had, no litter, no drinking on the sand.” I sat down in the sand, scrunching it between my toes.
“Oh?” Well, we’re gone in another half-hour or so.” Bobby stretched and made a sand- angel.
“Also he said that Blunt must give ‘em hell come finals.” I grinned up at Alex.
“What?” Alex started.
“Seems a lotta folk know who our Quarterback is. Reckon we’re carryin’ their hopes through to finals.” I shrugged.
“He said that?” Alex stared down at me “He said ‘Blunt must give ‘em Hell come finals’, he said that?”
“Yup. He surely did.” I saw Alex’s grin start from the inside, even before it reached his face. “I guess he reckons you gonna be in the finals.”
“Pshaw!” Alex made a rude sound, grinning “There’s no ‘u’ in ‘team’.” He frowned suddenly “Fuck me! I’ve been a dick…” Bobby and I just exchanged glances while Alex fretted, hoping we’d say something.
Bobby cleared his throat “I think Dean an’ Meat would need to hear that more ‘n us.”
“Who was it who said ‘All for one…’ and also ‘play every game like the superbowl…’ to us?” I chirped.
“Me.” Alex squeaked, sat down between us.
“An’ whose daddies did this together, twenty years ago, a solid team?” Bobby growled.
“Dean ‘n mine…” Alex sniffed, ashamed.
“You think he’s not ticked because all you can think about is what it means to you. We know what it means, sport… we there all the way with ya… All of us, all the way.” I flicked sand at him and he cringed. “We love you, man… don’t fuck us over the first chance you get. Makes us doubt inside us.”
“I… I’m…” Alex sobbed, hanging his head.
“Yeah, well… we still love you an’ we all working to get you signed up.” Bobby shifted over and hugged Alex’s miserable shoulders.
“All of us, all the way.” I hugged him too. “An’ you can fix this with a coupla words, so don’t feel too bad, okay?”
“‘Kay.” Alex sighed “Thanks, guys.” Alex sniffed and grinned at us “Thanks for pulling me straight. I love you guys.”
“Yeah, we know.” Bobby grinned and slapped his shoulder. “Let’s get a last dip in ‘fore we get rollin’.”
When I think about ‘perfect’ days, the third one I think about, is this one. Running around the Seaside Resort, dunking Alex in the Atlantic Ocean after he’d made up to Dean and Meat, and playing ‘Knights of the Beach’ on the shoulders of Tank in the waves in our shorts.
Everyone around me had nothing more to prove to each other, we had won against odds in our League Games, but we still had the uncertainty of testing our mettle against all comers.
There is an accomplishment in striving, a sense of peace with doing your best at every turn that I remember feeling fully… for the first time… on this day.
The sun was hot, the water was cool and we were well known enough to leave be, but not famous enough to crowd. It didn’t matter that we only spent two hours in an afternoon there. Lying on my back with the sun baking me in the ten minutes before we boarded up and left, hearing the laughter of my friends and my team-mates around me is something I relished. Something I would never forget. Just… perfect.
“Hey, Big Guy, you gathering wool? Cappy put in the last call, we gotta board up.”
“Yeah Jase, I’m coming.” I smiled into the sun.
“Eh, you Ok?” Jase’s shadow hovered “I’ll give yer a hand up.”
“Thanks, why you ask?” I gripped his forearm and stood up. “I’m fine.”
“Nuthin’… yer jes’ looked … diff’rent.” Jase grinned his snaggle-tooth grin “Can’t ‘x’plain it, like a kid…”
“Yeah, ya right.” I fell in step with him as we headed back to the bus. “Just like a kid again.”
It was much later, back at Storyville stadium as we hefted the last of the kits into the wash basket and closed up that Bobby and I sat in the Jeep in the parking lot that he got to unwind.
“Hey,” I leaned over and kissed his ear. “All done for now. Alex got the Bus taken care of, all the kit is stashed, everyone got home. It’s done, lover.”
“Yeesh.” Bobby grinned and sagged “I didn’t think we could pull it off.”
“But you did.” I tugged him into an embrace, kissed the crown of his head.
“…we… did.” Bobby sighed and rubbed my arm affectionately. “Don’t think I wasn’t watchin’ you the whole weekend, sorting out Alex an’ Meat and Dean’s beef, keeping Tank going… getting Jase to step up ‘n make decisions. Buck was so thrilled he got to play in your shoes, he actually got some of the plays right. How’d you get to cover my back so well?”
“‘Cause you and me… are a team.” I grinned against his scalp, he snuggled into my chest. “Besides, I also think that you give me too much credit for ‘doing’ things. I didn’t ‘do’ anything.”
“No. I guess you right.” Bobby’s lips smiled against the soft skin of my throat “You just have to be there. It’s like people bounce against you, and once they take a step back… they fixed.” Bobby leaned away, his fingertips ran over my face “You different, somehow.” I blinked at him, watched him as he touched my face. “No, you are.”
“How you mean?” I kept still while his feather-touch explored.
“I… I don’t know.” Bobby stared “… maybe your skin is smoother, something’s changed…” I saw panic well into his eyes, I gripped his hand.
“You and me… nothing has changed.” I kissed the palm of his hand, kissed his lips and held him until his heartbeat calmed. “I promise.”
“Promise…?” Bobby sighed against my chest. “Then take me home, Big Guy… take me home and ‘jes plain love me.”
He was already asleep when I got him into our drive. I lifted him out of his seat and gently carried him to bed, stripped him and patted his head when he sighed happily and continued his slumber. I was wired, though and walked through and put on some green tea when I noticed the study light was still on.
Michel had fallen asleep at his drawing board, so I went through and put another cup on and walked them both through.
“Hey, stud, you should go easy on the candle there…” I gently prodded his shoulder and handed him the cup. Bess’ tail thumped against the floor as she saw me and lifted a sleepy head from Michel’s feet, yawned wide.
“Oh hi, Big Guy,” He blinked sleepily “You just get in?
“Yeah, coupl’a minutes.” I sipped the tea, made a fac
e “I’ll git ya fer makin’ me drink this stuff, y’know…”
“Heh!” Michel sipped at the tea, yawned “I’m sure you will.”
“How’s it goin’?” I prompted, looking at all the drawings scattered around the room and the board.
“We throwin’ the slab tomorrow, everythin’ else is looking good.” Michel yawned again “We’ll most likely have the roof-work by the end of the month. All the ground has been moved, sculpted… and all the work on the side of the lake has been finished… just need to plant the grasses and finish the jetty.”
“Good.” I groaned and stretched.
“This mean a lot to you, doesn’t it?” Michel glanced at my bruised naked chest, quirked an eyebrow “You sure you can take a few more knocks?”
“Yeah.” I yawned, not really sure whether he meant the lodge, or the football, or neither… or both. All the yawning was making me sleepier still. Bess, Michel and I had started something with the yawns… or maybe it was the same one just moving from one of us to the other.
“I’m glad you trusted me with this,” Michel grinned “I haven’t felt quite this fired up… ever.” He took the cup from my hand and drained his “I won’t let you down, I promise, everything is running smoothly… and when it isn’t… it does soon afterwards. Everyone, and I mean everyone… is really keen to have this Lodge running.”
“Hmmmm.” I stifled my next yawn after Bess had finished another one. “Won’t help if you fast asleep in the middle of the night in the middle of a whole stack ‘a papers…” I waved my hand lazily.
“Yeah…” Michel grinned, sheepish. “I’ll go to bed now, you turn in and I’ll switch off everything. See ya in the morning. You want Cat or Bess?”
“… workin’…” I turned towards the door and shuffled towards my bed. “You keep Bess t’night, she’s got the last yawn on her.”
“Right, then tomorrow afternoon…” Michel chuckled “Yeesh, everyone’s a critic… Night, Big Guy.”