At the camp, Kerdan took both of their horses over to the stream where the rest of the horses were grazing.
Darmik pulled her aside. “What did Kerdan say to you?”
“He asked what sort of marriage I want.”
“What did you tell him?”
“Nothing.”
“I find that hard to believe.” He folded his arms across his chest. “You always have plenty to say.”
She rolled her eyes. “I suppose I should figure this out. Once we kill Jana tomorrow, Kerdan will want to start negotiations.”
“Only if you still want to marry him.”
Allyssa didn’t know what to do. She wanted love, romance, and a family. She wanted the sort of relationship her parents had. Rema had told her it was love at first sight between her and Darmik. While Allyssa liked Kerdan, she didn’t think she loved him. Her breath didn’t catch when he walked into the room.
“It’s obvious he cares for you. He seems to be somewhat intelligent.” Darmik rubbed his face. “Maybe you should wait and seek your mother’s counsel.”
“It is a good match for Emperion.”
“True. But is it a good match for you?”
“I don’t know.” She’d thought Odar was the perfect match and look how that turned out. Right now, she didn’t trust her own judgment. Which meant she should listen to those she respected and trusted. So why was her father being evasive? With other suitors, he’d made his thoughts and opinions well known. “Do you honestly not like Kerdan?” They were so similar—both military men, rulers, and both had shady fathers.
Darmik sat on the ground, leaning against a tree. “He… well… he seems older than you.”
Plopping down next to her father, she replied, “He is a couple of years older. The same as Odar.” And Odar’s age hadn’t been an issue. What was it about Kerdan that bothered her father?
“He’s an intimidating military leader, not a prince. I don’t picture the two of you together.”
She burst out laughing. “You’d rather me marry someone more princely?” Ironic coming from Darmik.
He patted her leg. “It’s not my decision to make. And, according to Kerdan, I don’t give you enough credit. So, I will support whatever you choose to do.”
Her father rarely let her decide anything of importance. “You honestly don’t care whether I marry Kerdan or not?”
“I care. I just refuse to force a decision on you. You’re almost seventeen. It is your life, your choice.”
She’d forgotten she had a birthday coming up. Which meant her twin brother did too. “Didn’t you say Mother and Savenek had to approve?”
He chuckled. “I did. First you decide, then we worry about them. One thing at a time.”
A shadow fell over them, and Kerdan cleared his throat. “I want to speak with the princess. Alone. May I have a moment of her time?”
Darmik stood so he was toe to toe with Kerdan, staring at him for a full minute before answering. “You have ten minutes. That’s all. Then we need to plan exactly what’s going to happen tomorrow. I don’t want any more surprises.”
Kerdan gave a curt nod. “Understood.” He looked at Allyssa with his hands clasped behind his back, not making a move to help her to her feet. Of course not. That wasn’t his style. She stood and followed him.
As they exited the camp, Odar muttered, “Cause he hasn’t had enough time alone with her. Bastard.” Kerdan’s step didn’t falter though he had to have heard Odar. Well, if he could ignore the jab, so could she.
Chapter Sixteen
Allyssa and Kerdan came to a small clearing surrounded by oak trees, far enough away from everyone else so they couldn’t be seen or heard. The leaves swayed in the wind, and a strand of Allyssa’s hair came loose from her braid. She pushed it behind her ear, waiting for Kerdan to speak.
He cleared his throat. “Will you please tell me what type of marriage you want?” He stood with his feet shoulder-width apart, his arms at his sides. The sword strapped to his waist was Drenton’s sword—the sword of the Russek king. Black swirls of paint covered half his face. He looked very much like the commander of a great army.
Folding her arms, she started walking around the perimeter of the clearing.
“I don’t mean to pressure you,” he said. “It’s just that I like to plan things.”
She knew that. This man—who had always been upfront with her—was asking the same in return. She owed him that much. “I want a real marriage, not in name only. However,” she couldn’t look at him as she said this, “I’m not sure I see that between us.” She kept walking around the perimeter, trying to keep the tension at bay. This conversation was awkward, but necessary.
He remained standing in the center of the clearing. “You don’t want to be my wife?”
Her heart fluttered at the word. “That’s not what I said.”
“Then what are you saying?”
Since the day she met him, she hadn’t thought of him as anything other than a friend. “I’m… I haven’t pictured us with children,” she said carefully, because saying being intimate with one another was not a conversation she cared to have right now. Still, that was what she needed to figure out. Could they be husband and wife in all ways?
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because I was with Odar.”
“You’re not with him now.”
“I know. I see us working well together. I just want to make sure we have a… physical connection too.”
He chuckled. “Are you saying you want to kiss me?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Well?”
Honestly, she hadn’t thought about kissing him. But now that he’d broached the topic… “Do you want to be my… husband?” He hadn’t answered the question earlier when she asked. And there was a distinction between being married and being husband and wife.
“Yes.” The word came out throaty and ragged, tugging at something inside of her. “But only if you want me to be.”
She stopped directly behind him. It was easier to talk to his back right now. “Is that truly what you want? For me to be your wife?” Would he be content with her? Was she enough for him? Did he want to kiss her to see if they had a spark?
“Yes.” He slowly turned around, and her breath caught. His masks were gone, revealing a vulnerable man filled with immense burden and… a longing she hadn’t seen before. Hadn’t allowed herself to see or acknowledge because she’d been too blinded by Odar. “Since the moment I met you, I’ve wanted you.” His eyes widened infinitesimally, as if shocked by admitting that out loud.
She couldn’t breathe. “Me?”
“Yes, you.”
In that moment, she realized that even though she hadn’t known Kerdan for very long, something about him felt right. There was a mutual trust and respect between them. When her parents had first told her they expected her to marry to further Emperion’s position and to secure the crown, she’d felt stifled and as if she had no control over her life. Now, with Kerdan, her feelings were quite the opposite. For the first time, she felt free. Free to choose. Free to love.
“So,” Kerdan said, taking a slow, measured step toward her. “I need to know if you want me. I understand that you need more time to consider it, to think of me as more than a friend, and I’ll give you as much time as you need. But, please, don’t make me suffer too long.” He smiled ruefully at her.
Suddenly self-conscious, she averted her gaze. “I won’t.” Did she want to be his wife in every sense of the word? She peered up at this man before her.
“I’ve pushed everyone away for so long,” he said, “that it is strange to allow someone in.”
All she’d ever wanted from Odar was for him to let her in. She needed to stop thinking about Odar and comparing Kerdan to him. They were two very different people, and it wasn’t fair to pit them against one another.
“We should get back. I’m sure it has been ten minutes. I’d rather not upset your father more than I already h
ave.”
“There’s something I need to do before I return,” she said.
“I’ll meet you back at camp.” Without hesitating, he turned and left the clearing. No questioning what she planned to do, no telling her to be careful. Total, complete trust.
Allyssa removed the wooden ring Odar had given to her. As she stared at it on the palm of her hand, she didn’t feel much of anything. No hurt, no anger, no love. The realization saddened her. Curling her fingers over the ring, she squeezed it. It was time to let it go. Time to say goodbye to Odar. Kneeling, she dug a small hole with her fingers, placed the ring in it, and covered it up with dirt. One part of her life was over; it was time to start the next phase. And this one didn’t feel confining, stifling, or uncertain. Instead of feeling caged by her future, excitement for the unknown coursed through her.
***
They sat around the campfire, Kerdan using a stick to draw the house and stables. “The forest surrounds the duke’s lands. We’ll enter from here.” He drew a line representing the road leading to the duke’s property.
“Have you been inside the duke’s home before?” Nathenek asked.
“No,” Kerdan responded, gripping the stick. “I have two hundred and fifty men hiding in the forest, waiting for my signal to attack.”
Darmik nodded. “The trick will be getting in the house without Jana sneaking off the land somehow.”
“Which is why I want to send Hurit and Larek in first,” Kerdan said. “Zerek will recognize them, allowing us to gain Jana’s trust. Then we attack before she realizes what’s happening.”
“Zerek? The soldier who identified us in that deserted village?” Allyssa asked. Kerdan nodded.
“Why do you think Zerek will be with Jana?” Neco asked.
“The meeting beforehand to identify them was merely a precautionary measure. I’m sure there will be something else in place at the duke’s house to ensure Jana’s safety.”
“Which is why you want to use decoys tomorrow,” Darmik commented.
“Exactly,” Kerdan replied. “If we have a group of nine men on horseback with the decoys in view of the duke’s house, then send Hurit and Larek to go on ahead to make contact, I think we have a good chance of getting past her defenses.”
“Who will make the kill?” Nathenek asked.
“I’d like that honor to go to Allyssa,” Kerdan said.
Darmik laughed. “I must have heard you wrong. It sounded like you said my daughter, a sixteen-year-old girl, would be making the kill.”
“I did.”
Allyssa’s hands tingled with anticipation. While she didn’t have to be the one to kill Jana, she wanted to be there to witness it. If she didn’t see it with her own eyes, she’d never believe the woman was truly dead.
“My daughter will be nowhere near the duke’s property tomorrow.” The fire flickered in the wind, casting dark shadows over Darmik’s angry face.
“Why not?” Kerdan asked. He tossed the stick into the fire.
Darmik raised his eyebrows. “She is the heir to Emperion.”
“She deserves to be the one to do it,” Kerdan said. “Besides, two hundred and fifty of my men will be there. Once we have Jana captured and the place secure, Allyssa can enter and kill Jana. At no time will she be in harm’s way.”
“I can do it,” Allyssa spoke up. “I’d like to be the one to kill the woman who made my life a living hell.”
“No,” Darmik barked. “It’s not open for negotiation.”
“I agree,” Neco said. “This is not something the princess should be involved in.”
“Why?” Allyssa asked. “Because I’m a woman?”
“Because it’s not necessary for you to be there, so why risk it?” Darmik replied.
“Are you going to be there?” she countered.
Darmik stared at her across the fire for several seconds before replying, “No. I will be here with you.”
She wanted to argue, but knew it was pointless. Her father would never put her in harm’s way. To keep her safe, he was sacrificing his right to see Jana’s life ended.
“What about me?” Odar asked. “Or did everyone conveniently forget I am even here?”
“You will remain with us,” Darmik said.
“Once Larek and Hurit have visual confirmation Jana is in the house, then what?” Nathenek asked.
Kerdan replied, “When they exit the house to get the prisoners, they’ll give a signal, and we attack. I will enter the residence from the east entrance with a select group of my men, locate Jana, and kill her.” Simple, efficient, brutal.
“It sounds like a solid plan,” Allyssa said.
“I want Nathenek with you,” Darmik said.
Kerdan glanced at the assassin. “I’m not comfortable working with someone I’ve never fought with before.”
“I’ll be more of a behind-the-scenes sort of fellow,” Nathenek replied.
A chill went through Allyssa. If something happened and Kerdan didn’t make the kill, Nathenek would.
“Neco, you will remain behind with us,” Darmik said.
“Understood.” Neco reached back and grabbed two logs, adding them to the fire. “This reminds me of being back on Greenwood Island.”
“We had a lot of adventures,” Darmik said, the tension in his voice lifting.
Neco laughed. “Do you remember the bandits?”
Darmik nodded. “I didn’t think we’d make it out of that one.”
“Darmik and I were only fifteen at the time,” Neco said, a smile on his lips. “We were traveling with a squad of men along a narrow road between two steep hills. Darmik and I were at the rear of the group since we were the youngest and most inexperienced soldiers. We were attacked, bandits sliding down the hills with their swords drawn. Darmik told me to withdraw my sword and prepare to fight. I did as he said, thinking this was it. We were going to die. We stood back to back, fighting off one man after another, until there were none left. I think we ended up killing fifty men that day. When it was over, Darmik sheathed his sword and marched on. I ran after him, and he told me that he oversaw the squad now—which consisted of the two of us—and I was his second in charge. It has been that way ever since. Seemingly impossible missions, including putting Rema on the throne. Whatever the task, the two of us have been fighting side by side for as long as I can remember.”
“I’ve always told Rema that you are like a brother to me.”
The fire crackled, and an owl hooted in the distance. “I suppose I should tell a story as well,” Allyssa said, thinking over all the times she snuck out of the castle to fight crime with Grevik. She looked sidelong at her father, hoping he wouldn’t be too upset. Knowing she snuck out and hearing the details were two different things.
“One time, Grevik and I were chasing two thieves when a group of five men attacked us. I suppose we’d been too worried about not losing the thieves that we didn’t pay enough attention to our surroundings. They demanded we hand over all our money and weapons.”
“Did you comply?” Darmik asked.
“Do you really need to ask that question?” she countered.
He chuckled. “No, I suppose not. So how did you get out of that scrape?”
“I dropped my coins. When two of them neared to pick them up, I attacked. Grevik fought the other three. When my two were incapacitated, I helped him. In less than five minutes, they were all on the ground. Neither Grevik nor I had a scratch. Then we dragged the men to the City Guard.”
Odar chuckled. “I’ve seen her in action. One night when I was out with her, she fought a man in the alley without an ounce of fear. I told Jarvik I’d never seen anything like it. Women in Fren don’t fight.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Speaking of Jarvik, we’ve had our fair share of close calls as well.”
This was the first time Odar chose to speak about Jarvik since his death. Until now, he’d only told her about the events pertaining to Shelene and what was necessary for them to escape Russek. He hadn’t yet
remembered his friend. Allyssa smiled kindly at him, encouraging him to continue. Speaking about lost ones was painful, but necessary. They couldn’t let the memories fade.
“We were away at school. One day, the two of us decided to skip classes and go to the local village for an adventure. When we were there, we went into the pub thinking we blended in and no one would know who we were. The second we sat down, women were propositioning us. Jarvik laughed and laughed, thinking the entire ordeal was quite funny. Especially since the women thought he was someone of importance due to the way he was dressed.”
He ran his hands through his hair again. “I got mad no one knew who I was and stormed out of the pub and right into three men on their way to kidnap the prince. They shoved me out of the way and went for Jarvik. They planned to ransom him off. One man threw Jarvik over his shoulder and ran out of the pub with him. He shoved him into a cart, covered him with hay, and started wheeling Jarvik out of the village. I didn’t know if I should return to school to get reinforcements or not. If I did, we were sure to be in trouble for sneaking out in the first place. I couldn’t go to the local authorities because they would be more concerned with making sure I was safe rather than recovering Jarvik. So, I decided to save him myself. After all, I knew how to wield a sword.” Closing his eyes, he shook his head, a smile still on his lips.
“The men locked the cart in a barn and then left to write the ransom note, leaving one man to guard. I easily dispatched him, picked the lock, and entered the barn. I found Jarvik climbing out of the cart, covered with hay. We managed to make it back to the school without further incident. Jarvik swore the next time we snuck out, we’d be dressed like commoners instead of courtiers.”
“I have a story,” Nathenek said. “Savenek and I have had more than our share of adventures. One time, we traveled into Landania to climb one of the mountains there.”
“For fun?” Allyssa asked.
“Savenek loves to climb,” Nathenek replied. “Anyway, we were halfway there and had set up camp for the night. Normally, we travel lightly with minimal supplies—and food. This time, we had more food than usual. That night, a bear came into our camp and tore open Savenek’s bag, eating his food. We awoke to the massive creature sitting next to us, eating. It had slobber drooling from its mouth.”
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