Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 5

by Fujino Omori

It was a strategy used inside the Dungeon. Simply put, it was a way for one battle party to escape from a monster by passing it off to another battle party that happened to be nearby.

  There was an unwritten rule that battle parties made as little contact with one another as possible in the Dungeon, but everyone accepted that there were times when sacrifices were necessary to protect something important. Accidents happened every day in the Dungeon, and using another party was one way to get your own out of a sticky situation.

  “Please reconsider, Captain Ouka?! If we do that, then those people…”

  Executing a pass parade now would mean the small party of adventurers would become that “sacrifice.”

  She could tell that that party was struggling as it was. They were trying to fend off a large pack of Al-Miraj just as Mikoto had done only moments ago.

  They would be overwhelmed if any more monsters joined the fray. Should the pack chasing Takemikazuchi Familia get too close…

  “Your lives are far more important to me than some random people.”

  “…!”

  “If it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, you can scold me to your heart’s content when we get out of this.”

  Ouka’s decision was final. Mikoto’s face looked like that of a child who’d realized her parents had disappeared.

  She looked back at her allies.

  They were in dire straits. Most were covered in blood, their breathing shallow and staggered as they sprinted for their lives.

  Their Familia’s emblem glinted dark red beneath a splattering of fresh blood.

  Mikoto was on the verge of tears for the first time since this ordeal started.

  …I’m so sorry!

  It was too late to change their route now. They were close enough to see the whites of the other adventurers’ eyes.

  She caught the gaze of a white-haired boy as he sliced through one of the rabbits and tried her best to communicate a heartfelt apology.

  Bell could hear, could feel all of the Al-Miraj coming at them from all angles.

  The continuous onslaught of monsters didn’t allow for a moment of hesitation.

  “Not even enough time to breathe, eh?”

  “Then don’t talk!”

  Welf swung his large blade, sweat flying everywhere, as Lilly delivered the final blow to a monster with a well-placed arrow.

  Bell was fighting very well despite being completely surrounded.

  With the exception of Agility, Welf’s Status was greater than or equal to the Al-Miraj. He fought on the front lines with Lilly’s support. It was Bell’s job to make sure that they didn’t get flanked by taking out as many of the monsters as he could.

  Most of the rabbits fell to a single slice from Bell’s blades. It didn’t take the monsters long to figure out that it was useless to take him head-on. His speed and power were just a little bit higher than the average Level 2 adventurer.

  “Welf, get down!”

  “Gotcha!”

  Seeing that Welf was about to be hit from two sides, Bell jumped to his aid.

  Bell flew over the back of his kneeling friend, slicing one Al-Miraj in half with the blade in his right hand and slamming the side of his buckler into the head of another.

  That was too close…!

  The boy might have been holding his own, but his mind was racing.

  Fatigue was beginning to catch up with him. His limbs had never felt this heavy at any time in the upper levels.

  Of course the most powerful member of an unbalanced party had to carry the largest workload in combat, but the increase in number and intelligence of the monsters in the middle levels served to make that burden even harder to bear.

  Bell was starting to realize just how little endurance he had. Another second and he would have been too late to save Welf. That thought sent a drip of cold sweat down his face. He was going to need a rest, and soon.

  …?

  Bell saw something strange out of the corner of his eye as he watched Welf deliver the final blow to the dazed Al-Miraj.

  It was a party of five—no, six adventurers. The members of a different Familia came closer and closer by the second.

  Bell raised his eyebrows in confusion. Battle parties preferred to avoid as much contact as possible in the Dungeon to avoid problems on the surface. He could understand if they were heading directly toward the exit, but their current path would bring them very close.

  Almost as though they were targeting him.

  “—”

  The heavily damaged battle party was coming toward them on purpose.

  They passed within a stone’s throw of Bell on their way by. He happened to catch the eyes of the girl with a glossy black ponytail.

  Blue velvet eyes on the verge of tears locked with ruby-red ones for a brief moment.

  “—?! Oh no! They led more to us!”

  Meanwhile.

  Lilly was the only one able to respond to the other battle party’s actions and tried to warn her allies.

  She had experienced this very same tactic during her time as a thief. She knew this practice all too well.

  “Huh…?”

  “We’ve been used as a decoy! More monsters are coming!”

  Lilly practically screamed at Bell’s dumbstruck face.

  A moment later, just as she predicted, another swarm of monsters appeared in the room.

  There was almost double the number of Al-Miraj they had been fighting, as well as a few hellhounds coming at them. The color instantly drained from Bell’s and Welf’s faces.

  Bell spun around just in time to see the last member of the other Familia disappear through the room’s exit.

  “Retreat! Mr. Welf, the tunnel to your right! Move!!”

  “What the—You’ve got to be kidding?!”

  Bell’s battle party scrambled in confusion.

  Fear was beginning to rear its ugly head. Welf wildly swung his broadsword in front of him. The blade didn’t cut through the Al-Miraj blocking his path, but it was strong enough to force the monster out of his way. The tunnel entrance now clear, he followed Lilly’s orders and dove straight in.

  Bell and Lilly weren’t far behind.

  We can’t get away…!

  The tunnel path slowly widened before them as Lilly came to a sudden realization. Bell would have to hold them off.

  These monsters were faster. While Bell might be able to get away, it was a given that a supporter with a weak Status had no chance in one of the middle levels’ connecting tunnels.

  The pack of monsters formed a line, bared fangs flashing in the dark. None of them could tell how many monsters were there—the beasts were kicking up enough dust to hide their numbers. It was a sight that would make any normal person collapse on the spot.

  Bell chanced another look over his shoulder as he ran next to Lilly. It was as though a nightmare had come to life.

  “Mr. Bell?!”

  “Hey, Bell!”

  “I’ll catch up!”

  The decision was made in a flash.

  Ignoring Lilly’s and Welf’s objections, Bell turned his back to them.

  Basically, he spun 180 degrees.

  He planted his feet and squared his shoulders in the face of the oncoming wave of monsters.

  He raised his shielded left arm straight out and took a deep breath.

  “Firebolt!”

  He unleashed three rounds of his Magic straight down the narrow tunnel.

  The rocky pathway was filled with three pillars of flaming electricity in the blink of an eye. The whole path was illuminated in violet flames, incinerating everything in their path.

  A blast of hot air expanded from the sea of flames. Using this kind of Magic in such a small space was technically illegal in the Dungeon due to the high possibility of other adventurers taking damage, but these were desperate times.

  Bell lowered his arm, his body illuminated by the flames.

  Shadows danced on his face for a moment before—his eyes shook with fear.


  Four shadows emerged from the wall of flame.

  It didn’t finish them?!

  The hellhounds survived.

  Every other monster in the swarm was burning. Their seared carcasses littered the floor of the tunnel. Perhaps because hellhounds had the ability to spit fire themselves, they also had an unusually high resistance to fire magic.

  Their crimson eyes cloudy, bodies decorated with fresh wounds, the group of demonic dogs hacked the ash out of their lungs and released a ferocious howl in unison.

  “OWooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO!!”

  “!”

  They launched themselves at Bell in a vicious rage. He was quick to dispose of the first one with a swipe of his shortsword and knocked the second one into the air with his shield.

  But the remaining two ran right past him.

  “Lilly, Welf—!”

  Completely ignoring the white-haired boy, the two beasts had their eyes set on the other two adventurers farther down the tunnel.

  Lilly and Welf took emergency action as Bell’s warning came echoing off the walls.

  Lilly did a half turn. Her best chance to survive the initial assault was to use the broadsword attached to her backpack as a shield.

  Welf took a defensive stance and raised his own sword high above his head.

  “—Garrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!”

  “Aggh?!”

  “Come get some!”

  Impact.

  The sword on Lilly’s backpack successfully repelled the hellhound’s tackle, but she wasn’t strong enough to stay on her feet, so she fell to the floor.

  Welf’s powerful swing missed its intended target.

  The other hound had Lilly pinned down, standing on top of her backpack and snapping its jaws just above her head. Bell flew in from out of nowhere and kicked the dog to the side after disposing of the one that came after him.

  The kicked dog hit the ground hard, its body broken at the same moment that the hellhound that dodged Welf’s attack collapsed.

  “Are you guys okay?!”

  “Y-yes…”

  “Somehow…Damn.”

  Lilly dusted herself off as she stood up. Welf smirked a thin, pained smirk as he grabbed his arm. The hound’s claws must’ve hit their mark; long streaks of fresh blood ran down his forearm.

  The pain of knowing he hadn’t been able to protect his allies pierced Bell from within. However, what he saw behind Lilly and Welf made his blood run cold.

  “T-there’s more!”

  The boy could see the shadows of several monsters making their way up the tunnel from the other side.

  At the same time, Lilly saw even more shadows coming from behind Bell and said in a very raspy voice:

  “Pincer attack…”

  “Well, isn’t that depressing…”

  A pack of Al-Miraj had made its way through the burned hallway, all the way up to their current position.

  The three adventurers were quick to take a triangular formation, their backs turned toward one another. Bell scrunched up his face as he looked past the remains of the hellhounds and to their next opponents.

  “Why is it that monsters spawn so fast in the middle levels? I need a break.”

  “Because it’s the middle levels, right?”

  “Ha, ha-ha…”

  Lilly pulled a few potions from her backpack and passed them around as the boys tried their best to lighten the mood.

  The liquid could restore their physical strength, but there was nothing they could do about the mental fatigue taking over their minds.

  It was hard for any of them to concentrate.

  “Mr. Bell, Mr. Welf, Lilly recommends we retreat. We need to rest and regroup. There will be no end to the monsters at this rate.”

  “Sounds great to me, but what are we gonna do about this?”

  “Focus on one side and…break through?”

  “Yes, Lilly believes that is best.”

  Lilly nodded at Bell’s idea. All of the monsters had started to surround them.

  The party knew that there was no more time for talking, and they readied their bodies for what was coming next.

  “Well, then…”

  “Yeah.”

  “…Let’s go!”

  The Dungeon slowly but surely took away every bit of mental and physical strength that Bell and his battle party had left.

  It wouldn’t let any adventurer who made even the slightest mistake get away with it.

  The Dungeon was very sly. Like a salivating hunter toying with its prey, the Dungeon didn’t go in for the kill all at once, but strategically wore its meal down.

  Occasionally having monsters howl at them from afar—

  Sometimes shaking the ground beneath their feet with strong quakes—

  And, of course, consistently birthing monsters at just the right time to cut off their escape—

  These little incidents weren’t much on their own. However, not knowing what was coming next weighed heavily on the group. None of them could hide their exhaustion.

  It was much easier to bring down a castle with a broken foundation. Lost physical strength was not easy to recover. And once they noticed something was wrong, it was already too late.

  The prey let out groans of agony, weak bodies hunched over as they fought to catch their breath. Only then did the Dungeon bear its fangs.

  “—”

  Crack!

  A very unwelcome sound reached Bell’s ears, his body already on the verge of collapse.

  He had lost track of how long he had been half fighting, half running away from monsters. His gaze raced around the tunnel, trying to find the source of the noise.

  The walls looked as solid as ever, but the noise was getting louder. The mother Dungeon wasn’t about to pull any punches now.

  Crack, crack!

  The foreboding sound surrounded them, echoing from all sides.

  Huh—?

  Bell was the first to figure it out.

  The sound was coming from above. Welf and Lilly followed his line of sight and gasped.

  A weblike network of cracks and fissures sprawled out over the ceiling above them. The parties stood and watched as the web expanded farther down the tunnel in both directions. It was too wide to believe.

  Another crack, and more echoes. It got harder to tell the difference between new crevices opening and the echoes with each passing moment.

  A piece of rock fell from the ceiling as the entire tunnel groaned, unable to bear the weight any longer.

  Bell’s body was frozen in place. The boy could feel the blood draining from his head.

  —Monsters!

  The second that thought crossed his mind…

  …The ceiling shattered in a thunderous roar as a swarm of bad bats was born from the tunnel ceiling.

  “KYAAAAAAAAAA—!!”

  A chorus of high-pitched squeals rang out as the bad bats took wing for the first time.

  The dim lights from above were suddenly blacked out by countless shadows in the air.

  Shrouded in darkness, Bell and the others could only catch a glimpse of the heavily damaged ceiling.

  Until, finally, it caved in.

  “““—?!”””

  Bell’s, Lilly’s, and Welf’s eyes practically jumped from their sockets. All of them sprang into action a moment later.

  It was a rockslide intended to kill. The three of them made a mad dash forward, trying to escape the onslaught.

  One hit after another, new pain erupting with every blow. Their eardrums were assaulted by the thunderous barrage of stones and boulders falling like water. Rocks and boulders just kept coming from above.

  There wasn’t even a sliver of time to look out for one another.

  The three ran as fast as they could to escape the howl of the Dungeon itself.

  “Gah, haa…!”

  At last the rockslide subsided.

  Welf gasped for breath, the air filled with thick dust and debris.

  Bell’s hands
broke out in a cold sweat, but he didn’t look in Welf’s direction. He could tell by his voice that he was hurt.

  There was a small cough in the distance. Lilly.

  Wiping away the blood that seeped from the many small cuts on his face, Bell tried to call out to his friends to make sure they were okay.

  “Urkh…”

  However.

  His throat was too dry and full of dust to produce the sound.

  “—”

  Shapes were coming into focus now that the dust started to settle.

  There were several dark shadows climbing over the rubble that sat on top of where he had been standing just a few moments ago.

  A pack of hellhounds.

  In that moment, Bell’s voice was truly gone.

  “Garrrrr…!”

  All of the hellhounds’ heads were low to the ground.

  Sparks flew as smoke rose from their mouths.

  They started bearing fangs; the rubble underneath their feet was illuminated in red, glowing light.

  —Oh no.

  Lilly turned pale.

  She was gripped by the despair of what was about to happen.

  —Can’t make it!

  Welf gritted his teeth, as if he were cursing his lack of luck.

  This is—

  Bell’s eyes were opened.

  Opened to the strength and number of the monsters.

  Opened to the mercilessness of the Dungeon.

  Opened to the constant flow of absurdity.

  The hellhounds rose and flung their heads forward.

  The battle party was lit up by the volley of flames that exploded from their mouths.

  The orbs of flame tore through the air, waves of intense heat bursting through the tunnel.

  —The middle levels!

  There was a massive explosion.

  CHAPTER 2

  HOW MANY MEDERS TO A SAFE RETURN?

  A small figure ran into the Pantheon—the Guild headquarters.

  With twin black ponytails dancing behind her, the figure made her way into the white marble lobby and through a crowd of adventurers almost twice her size.

  Hestia didn’t care that her skin was covered in sweat or that her breathing was ragged as she darted for the counter in the corner of the lobby.

  “Ms. Adviser!”

  “G-Goddess Hestia?”

  Eina’s eyes widened as the small goddess practically tackled the reception desk.