Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 5

by Fujino Omori

  “I was very taken aback. Taken aback that I didn’t immediately throw the human who had suddenly grabbed my hands onto the side of the road.”

  Her face forms an expression I’ve never seen on Lyu before: a mischievous grin.

  I wouldn’t have been able to say anything if she’d sliced me in half…Only now does the realization hit me. My cheeks and ears are burning, but I do my best to force a smile.

  “You are the third person who I did not immediately punish for touching my skin.”

  She says that with her hand still firmly grasped around mine.

  —Eh? Your name is Lyu? That’s too hard to say. I’ll call you Lyon from now on!

  The first, the bright and cheerful girl who invited her to join her own Familia.

  —Are you okay?

  The second, the nice girl who extended a warm hand to her cold fingers, the waitress who gave her a place to be.

  And the third is…

  “Please don’t make such a confused face. I feel like you’re making sport of me.”

  “S-sorry!”

  “I am joking…I have been following your actions closely since we met. I’ve come to understand your weakness, your sincerity, and most of all your spirit.”

  “Lyu…?”

  “Mr. Cranell, you are kind.”

  Completely overwhelmed by this new aura radiating from her eyes, I can only respond by saying her name.

  She blinks her eyes closed, the blue orbs hidden from sight for a moment, before slowly opening them up again.

  “You are a human worthy of my respect.”

  Lyu…smiles.

  Her thin eyebrows relax as the edges of her feminine lips curl upward.

  My whole body blushes pink as she faces me with a smile as pure and clean as a white lotus.

  “…Uh.”

  “Mr. Cranell?”

  I know it’s a little late, but now I truly know why the smile of an elf is a dangerous thing.

  The smile of a refined elf while knowing their usual demeanor day in and day out is particularly brutal. It’s a trump card powerful enough to make my knees go weak despite having my own aspirations.

  Elvish beauty isn’t all just on the surface.

  A smile that they give only to their most trusted companions.

  My eyes are filled with the light beams from above and the tranquil colors of the graveyard and flowers, but most of all, the beautiful smile on her tilted head.

  Now I think I know why other races have a thing for elves.

  “Ow, ow, ow…What would you do if you broke my face, Asfi?”

  “You reap what you sow.”

  “Night” had already fallen on the eighteenth floor of the Dungeon.

  Two figures quietly made their way out of the forest campsite: Hermes and Asfi.

  “A god no better than a Peeping Tom…Have you no shame!”

  “Peeping isn’t that big of a deal for us…”

  Bell, who had gone missing after the peeping incident, returned to the campsite shortly before dinner. The fact that he was led to the scene by the deity—and that he practically buried his face in the ground bowing—allowed him to escape with a harsh verbal warning. Only Hermes, the instigator, was physically punished.

  “…Well then, where are we going on this pitch-black night?”

  “On a pitch-black night like this, there’s only one place to bring a lady. Isn’t it obvious?”

  On the other side of the grasslands before them, the lights of the town of Rivira shone like a beacon from the west.

  “To a tavern.”

  “Damn it!”

  Inside one of the few taverns in a small niche of Rivira.

  Built inside of a naturally occurring crevice in the cliff face, the bar floor was covered by a dirty rug and had only one table with a few chairs. The walls were dotted with portable magic-stone lamps. Even in here, crystals grew on one of the walls and a few spots in the ceiling.

  One man slammed his mug down on the table inside this bar that was a little bit different from most adventurers’ usual watering holes.

  “Take it easy, Mord.”

  “Shut it! That brat, I have no freakin’ idea how he got down here…Too damn cocky!”

  “That jealousy I hear?”

  That line got a chuckle out of everyone around the table, other than Mord.

  Only a select few upper-class adventurers had the ability to come to Rivira, meaning that the more time you spent there the more you got to know the residents who did business.

  The customers at this bar might have been from different Familias, but they were on good terms with Mord’s group.

  “The hell you laughin’ about?! That piece-of-shit rookie hasn’t done nothing, levels up in a few months, and now his ass is all the way down here?! How stupid are we, workin’ hard for years just to make it this far!!”

  Recounting the events at The Benevolent Mistress, Mord wasted no time in pointing out the source of his rage.

  All the people here were part of an exclusive club of upper-class adventurers within Orario. The thought of some newbie walking the same streets was something he couldn’t take lying down.

  Even more so that some of the gods themselves were talking about this particular rookie, this “rabbit.”

  The bar became quiet enough to hear a pin drop when Mord’s rant finally came to an end.

  “Even got himself some high-quality salamander wool…Damn that kid, I wanna tear his head off.”

  Mord spat in anger before taking another swig from a particularly potent ale, even by Rivira’s standards.

  “But Mord, no matter how much you want to knock ’im down a peg—how? He’s with the Kenki.”

  “One of Hermes’s and also…Takemikazuchi’s group, too.”

  Mord’s companions sat on either side of him, trying to make him see reason.

  “The guy wouldn’t be here without them…Don’t you think the Little Rookie realizes that?”

  “Enough small talk! Are you gonna help me or not? Which is it?!”

  Their words had done nothing more than make Mord even angrier.

  The adventurers sitting around the table froze in place; the fury emanating from the man’s eyes wouldn’t let them move. They knew that at any moment Mord could draw out any of the weapons hanging from his waist if the thought crossed his mind.

  “If we could get him alone, lure that punk-ass brat away from the others…”

  Bell had stood out too much.

  He’d come too far into the middle levels too quickly after leveling up.

  Quickly enough to draw the attention, and outrage, of other upper-class adventurers.

  “O-oh, you boys are really living it up in here!”

  Twitch. Every set of eyes in the bar fell on the entrance.

  They saw Hermes, walking in like he owned the place, followed quietly by Asfi.

  “…What business do you have, Mr. Deity? If you’re looking for a drink, it’d be better to go back up top.”

  “Ha-ha, I just heard some sneaky plans in the works and couldn’t help myself.”

  Step. One of the adventurers put himself firmly between the god and the exit.

  He knew their plan. Hermes had been with Bell, and would no doubt warn him. The god couldn’t be allowed to escape.

  Things like this happen all the time these days…Asfi lamented as she hid herself in Hermes’s shadow.

  “So, what’s it to you? You gonna try and stop us by yourself?”

  “What gave you that idea? Do as you like. Ignore me and keep forming a plan.”

  “Whaa?” Mord’s jaw dropped in disbelief.

  “I happen to like children like you. This world would be so boring if everyone played nice.”

  Hermes’s eyes arched into a smile as he chuckled to himself.

  Just for a moment, Hermes flashed his true character—one who enjoyed all of the charms of being on earth as a god.

  He wasn’t showing tolerance for good and evil. He ac
tually was good and evil.

  Mord was left speechless by this presence before him, something far more mysterious than any monster.

  “You want a chance to attack Bell, yes? In that case, why don’t I tell you our plans for tomorrow?”

  “…How do I know I can take your word, Mr. Deity?”

  “Hey, hey, this is Hermes you’re talking to. I don’t lie to any children.”

  A few of the others around the table tried to get Mord’s attention, but he ignored them and took Hermes’s offer.

  “I’m not in a position to help you directly…Oh yes, if you need a ‘lucky charm’ of courage to vanquish your foes, I have a little something you can borrow.”

  With that, Hermes turned to Asfi, who handed him an item. Hermes took it and presented it to Mord.

  It was a small helmet. Based on its design, it looked more like a hat with a small brim around the front.

  Its color was the same as the dirt found deep in the earth, black as coal.

  “And this is…”

  “A magic item forged by the one and only Perseus. It’d be easier to show you what it can do.”

  Mord’s words left him as he watched others put on the helmet. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

  A magic item created by one of the most celebrated item makers in Orario. Perseus’s items were said to grant the user Magic and Skills through the power of “Enigma.”

  “Seriously, I can use this…?”

  Mord’s voice shook as Hermes nodded with a “Yeah.

  “However, on one condition…”

  Mord took the item in one hand and held it to his chest, his eyes gleaming.

  “Entertain me. Give me a show I won’t soon forget.”

  CHAPTER 5

  THE OUTLAWS’ PARTY

  Bell Cranell

  Level 2

  Strength: G 267 –> F 365 Defense: H 144 –> G271 Utility: G 288 –> F349 Agility: F 375 –> E 469

  Magic: H 189 –> G270

  Luck: I

  (Magic)

  “Firebolt”

  • Swift Strike Magic

  (Skill)

  “Argonaut”

  • Charges automatically with an active action

  Hestia informed Bell of his new Status inside their tent.

  “Hmm, this is your first big jump in a while…”

  “Y-yes it is…”

  There were no pencils or paper for her to write down his status in Koine, but just as Hestia had said, Bell’s basic abilities hadn’t improved by this margin since he’d leveled up. Apparently traveling from the thirteenth floor to the eighteenth floor and narrowly escaping a floor boss gave him enough excelia to receive a big boost.

  “Your abilities did go up, but you got quite a bit of high-quality excelia, too.”

  “Huh?”

  “You’ve done something great. It means you’re one step closer to leveling up again.”

  Hestia giggled at the stunned look on Bell’s face.

  Overcoming countless brushes with death on the journey to the eighteenth floor must’ve been what did it.

  Accomplishing something great, overcoming an extraordinary obstacle—these things were required to level up and couldn’t be done by continuously defeating low-level monsters. Bell mulled over these thoughts in his mind as he re-equipped his armor.

  “Loki’s children are busy getting ready. We should get out of their tent as soon as possible.”

  “I think so, too.”

  Today was the day that Loki Familia would leave the eighteenth floor. The antidotes had arrived late last night from the surface, so they were finally able to leave as a group. The sounds of Loki Familia’s adventurers disassembling the campsite rang out from all around their tent.

  Bell gave a quick wave to Hestia, who was still cleaning up the equipment she needed for updating his Status, and stepped outside.

  “Why the hell is rabbit boy here?! No one told me a damn thing!”

  “Because we knew you’d react like this, Bete. Now come on, let’s get going!”

  “Hey, hands off, idiot Amazon!”

  Bell walked through the area surrounded by people busily folding tents and toward the spot where Loki Familia’s leaders were gathered just outside of camp.

  “A-Aiz!”

  He noticed a girl with long golden hair standing apart from the others and called out to her.

  The girl who turned around was fully equipped for battle, breastplate snug over her chest and saber hanging at her side.

  “Are you leaving already?”

  “Yes…I was asked to join the forward party.”

  Due to the large amount of party members needed for an expedition, these groups were required to travel in smaller parties starting on the seventeenth floor, to avoid blocking the passageways. Loki Familia had been split in two.

  Aiz, along with Tiona and the others, was assigned to the first group.

  However, Bell’s group would be returning to the surface along with the second party.

  “U-um…”

  “?”

  Of course, this meant that Aiz would be part of the battle to slay the Goliath lurking just upstairs.

  Bell felt ashamed that he could only wait for them to carve a safe passageway for him. It reminded him just how much further he had to go to catch up to her.

  He knew just how useless these words were, but he went ahead and said them anyway.

  “…Please be careful.”

  “…You, too, be careful.”

  Aiz’s normally expressionless mouth curled a bit as she responded.

  “See you again,” she said softly. She joined her companions as they set off toward the tunnel opening that led to the seventeenth floor. Bell stood there and watched her leave until every single member of the forward party had disappeared into the tunnel.

  “Mr. Bell, shouldn’t we be getting ready?”

  “Ah, yes!”

  He heard Lilly call out to him from behind and quickly turned to face her.

  They made their way to the center of the diminishing campsite, checked to make sure their bags were completely stocked, and took a look at their weapons.

  “Yo, Bell, pass those over here!”

  “Sure. Thanks, Welf.”

  Bell took his two knives out of their sheaths and handed them to the red-haired boy, who quickly ran them across a grinding stone. Bell watched as the Hestia Knife and Ushiwakamaru shone brighter and brighter with each passing moment, their cutting edges revived.

  Mikoto walked up next to the mesmerized Bell, her blades already sharpened and equipped.

  “I apologize, Mr. Welf. To sharpen our weapons as well as yours…”

  “No big deal. This is my job, after all. Another three or four is a piece of cake.”

  “Did you end up buying that stone in Rivira?”

  “Nah, I lowered my head and called in some favors…”

  Welf jerked his head toward a few of the remaining High Smiths in the camp in response to Ouka’s question.

  The prices had been so high in Rivira that all Bell’s group could afford to buy in the town were an old broadsword and Lilly’s new backpack. Both had been purchased using Welf’s Familia’s crest, so he was already feeling the empty space in his wallet.

  The sword in question, as well as the long weapon wrapped in white cloth, lay on the ground next to him as he worked.

  “I’ve been wondering…Where are Lord Hermes and Ms. Asfi?”

  “Lord Hermes said he wanted one more chance to go exploring. He told Lilly to go back to the surface with everyone ahead of him. Asfi looked very tired and frustrated at the situation.”

  “Quite the hard worker…”

  Mikoto, Lilly, and Welf’s conversation made Bell think about Lyu. She, too, was planning on going back alone, at least that’s what she had told him last night after safely escorting him to the campsite. Considering her situation and Status—Bell’s jaw had dropped when she told him she was Level 4—her plan was no surprise.<
br />
  Everyone’s splitting up, Bell thought to himself as he looked up at the “Morning” ceiling above the forest.

  “Okay, all set…”

  Putting the last of the potions she received from Nahza into her pouch, Hestia stepped outside the tent.

  The thick forest canopy blocked a great deal of the morning light coming from the crystals above. All she could see was the dark green of the forest surrounding her. The campsite was almost deserted, only a few random boxes still on the ground and no people in sight. Hestia was just about to call out to Bell to have him help her fold the tent.

  “…? Is someone there?”

  Swissh, swissh. The sound of someone stepping through the grass caught her attention and she turned around. But all she saw was trees and the dark green shade they provided. No one was there. Maybe some leaves fell? she thought to herself as she looked toward the upper branches.

  “—Muguu?!”

  Something suddenly clamped itself over her mouth.

  But it didn’t end there. She felt a thickly armored arm wrap around her and something solid press against her back. Her eyes frantically darted all over, desperately searching for something that couldn’t be found. It was almost as though she were acting out a scene in which she was being restrained.

  Then her feet left the ground as her small frame was hoisted into the air and moved away from the campsite.

  An invisible human?!

  Almost as if confirming her speculation, a strange object that looked like a fistful of paper appeared out of nowhere beneath her, hit the ground, and rolled to a stop. She flailed her body, kicking her legs as potions inside her still-open pouch fell onto the grass.

  “Mgghh?!” Hestia’s muffled screams went unheard as she was carried off into the forest.

  “Goddess? Goddess?”

  Bell looked from left to right, calling out to her.

  Everything in order for their return to the surface, the boy realized that Hestia was not there. He returned to the tent where she had just updated his Status. He left soon after, scratching his head once he realized she wasn’t there, either.

  “This is strange…”

  Bell did another lap around the campsite, his right hand on the back of his head. Only a few of the tents were left; there was nothing to obstruct his view. Even though there were many trees in this area, none of them was thick enough to completely conceal the goddess’s small body.