“Yes, I guess not. Just don't keep it off for longer than needed, okay?” she was looking at me with such an intensity that I stopped ignoring her words. This was important to her and I had no idea why.
“Mom, why does it matter so much?” I felt like I was on the brink of something, but I didn't know what.
She thought for a moment, then seemed to come to a decision. “Star, there's something I—”
“Knock, knock birthday girl!” I looked up at the sound of Brandon's voice. He was standing in the doorway, a half smile on his face and a temperamental Rose behind him. She wasn't smiling. She didn't look like she wanted to be there at all.
“Hey guys.”
“I'll talk to you about it later.” Mom said with a soft smile right before she walked out of the room.
”So are you ready for your big day?”
I shook my head and scooted over to make room for them. “It's just another day, right?”
“Oh yeah, becoming legally responsible for yourself is totally no big deal.” She rolled her eyes at me as Brandon forced her to sit down. This was becoming a great morning.
“Whatever. Thanks for stopping by.”
“Of course we stopped by, what are friends for? Right Rose?” She remained stubbornly silent, staring holes into my wall. “Right?” he asked again, his voice sharper this time. She sent a baleful look his way.
“Yeah, sure. Friends.”
“Well, this is all rather fascinating, but don't we have school today?” I rose from the bed, hoping I could get them out fast without damaging anything.
“Yup, we do. But we wanted to take you out tonight.”
“What? To McDonald's or something?” I dug through my closet, looking for anything that was clean and weather appropriate.
“No, you idiot. We have more here than coffee and fast food.”
“Rose! Would you just—”
“It's all good, Brandon. Don't waste your breath.” I shrugged and moved toward the bathroom, clothes in hand. “So you guys want to go out? Fine. We'll go. But this is the last time I'm doing crap like this.”
“Crap like what? Hanging with your friends? Yes, I can tell that being a massive bitch has taken over your schedule.”
“Like you're the one to talk!”
“At least when I make friends, I don't stab them in the back!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Girls, let’s just—”
“Shut up Brandon!” Rose and I shouted at the same time. We glared him into silence. He held his hands up and backed away, looking toward the ground. I threw my clothes onto the bed and faced Rose.
“What is your issue, Rose?” I demanded, in no mood for any of her games.
“You know damn well what I'm talking about! When were you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what? Everyone apparently knows something except for me! What the fuck do you guys want?” I was beyond lost. Mom kept hinting at things. Andrei said he knows ‘what’ I am, and the new teacher apparently knew something too. Now Rose. Everyone but me. I wondered how many people had been lying to me about things.
“Did you ever find the journal?” I looked at her for a moment, confused.
“Yeah. How did you know about that?”
“Have you read it yet?” she was getting nervous now. My confusion grew.
“Some, but there wasn't anything useful in it. Just stuff about nature and 'being one with the light'. Shit like that. I think it’s some sort of religious book or something.”
She rolled her eyes and stormed toward the door. “You're coming out with us tonight. You'll want to finish that journal.” I watched as she walked away. A migraine began to form as everything she said pounded through my head. It didn't make any sense. What did a bunch of trees have to do with anything?
I sank onto the bed and put my hand in my head. I felt the bed shift as Brandon sat down next to me.
“Happy Birthday to me, right?”
He wrapped his arm around me and held me in silence until it was time to get ready for school. At least I didn't have to worry about Brandon ever abandoning me. I doubt anything I ever said could chase away his friendship.
Chapter Thirty-Three
I sat in my car, staring at the school while biting my nails. This sucked. Why do birthdays have to fall on school days? The darkness was just waiting in the back of my mind, watching. I reached up and rubbed my fingers along the shape of the amulet. The smooth facets and coolness of the silver comforted me, easing the energy within. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. This would be a long day and I knew Jenni had to be up to something. She wouldn't take yesterday with a grain of sand.
“Ah, Miss McKinley. So nice of you to show up on time today.” I threw a look toward Ms. Beckingdale. She still looked as gorgeous as she did yesterday, so I hadn't imagined it. It looked like I didn't imagine her hatred of me either. Great.
“What can I say? I aim to please.” Her eyes narrowed. She waved me to my seat and watched me the whole way. I sat down behind Gabe and tried my best to ignore him. I'd already decided that I would never be good for him. With Jenni being the hag that she was, I didn't want to step into any more trouble than I already was.
“Happy Birthday.” I was tempted to look up at him, oh so tempted. I bit my lip and stared down at the desk, gripping the edges so hard that my knuckles turned white. “Hey, are you mad at me?” No, I'm not mad at you, I'm just not a good person. It's best if you just stay away from me. “I'm sorry about the other day. I didn't know Jenni was such a bitch.” Kind of hard not to notice when you're on the receiving end of it. “I broke up with her. I thought you'd like to know that.”
I held my breath as my anxiety started increasing. My hand shot up, interrupting Ms. Beckingdale's lecture.
“Is there something else you wanted to add to our discussion, Miss McKinley?”
I was starting to feel sick. The darkness for once was staying put, but it felt like something else was starting to take over. “May I go to the Nurse?” I asked in a rush, already rising from my seat and grabbing my things.
“No, you may no—”
I stormed passed her, the door swinging shut behind me.
“Star!” I turned to see Gabe following me. I shook my head at him and kept going. My pace picking up until I was practically running. “Star! Stop!”
I made it to my car and was fumbling with the handle when I felt his body ram into me. “Jesus H!” I grabbed his shoulders, the momentum almost knocking me to the ground. Breathless, I looked up into his amber eyes.
“Why do you keep running away from me?”
I shook my head and tried to get out of his grip. “I'm not running away from you. I'm running away from everyone.”
“Star, you don't have to. Why won't you tell me what's going on? I'd help you if you'd let me. I'd be anything for you, if you'd let me.” He brushed my hair away from my face. The darkness tried to rise, but the sick feeling within me increased. Pushing through the waves of darkness that we're rising up.
“Look, I appreciate that, but we can't—”
“Why can't we? You must know how I feel about you. Star, I—” I felt weak against him. I didn't want this. Andrei's face kept popping up. Gabe leaned down and rested his warm lips upon mine. All I could think about was how it was supposed to be Andrei. This was wrong. Totally and completely wrong.
I jerked away from him, his hand catching on the amulet, ripping the ribbon from my neck. As it broke loose, so did the darkness. I reached back and slapped Gabe as hard as I could. The darkness following my hands point of contact as the clinking sound of the amulet hitting pavement reverberated through my mind.
“Don't fucking touch me!” I screamed as I watched the darkness surround him, lifting him and finally throwing him into another car. He sat there, stunned. I felt my eyes turn quickly from violet to pure, liquid silver. There seemed to be a pulse in the center of my chest. With each pulse of energy, time seemed to sl
ow. I could almost hear the energy and the darkness building within me. I closed my eyes. I was tired, so tired of all of this. I didn't want this. It wasn't me. I didn't want to fight anymore.
“I give up.” I whispered as my knees gave out on me sending me falling to the pavement. My palms scraped against the course grit of dirt, imbedding in my hands. There was a pause, and with one final pulse all hell released.
I screamed up into the sky. It felt like someone had shattered me. Pain pierced every aspect of my body. Tears streamed down my face, mixing in small puddles with the blood that began seeping from my palm.
The sky darkened and lightning flashed in the distance. The ground shook with the toll of thunder as everything within me released, whipping out around me like a thousand whips, effecting everything. Gabe's look of horror spurted me into action. I ran.
Chapter Thirty-Four
The trees whipped by my face in a sporadic blur. The greens and browns were muted in the storms darkening wrath. My lungs were on fire but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. I had to escape, yet I knew that no matter how far or fast I ran, I could never escape this. It was me, this storm was me. It always was.
I found myself running through the back door of my basement. My haven. The storm continued to rage outside as I stood dripping wet, shivering within the safety of my home.
I paced the floor, tears streaming down my face, my mind racing a million miles a minute. It was me. It had always been me. Every incident, every accident. Everything was my fault. I caused it. I had caused all of it. The darkness that I had become so used to was consuming me, turning me. I felt like screaming. I felt like curling up upon myself and holding on until I didn't feel like I was going to shatter anymore. I didn't understand this, any of this.
I had read the journal, but it was all impossible. Nothing Sarah had written about seemed even remotely similar to what I was going through. She made it sound so beautiful, so fulfilling. Whatever had a hold of me, was inside of me, was none of those things. There had to be more. There had to be something I was missing.
I fumbled helplessly with the journal. Ripping a page in my haste to get to the end, to see what was left. I held it in my trembling hands. My entire body was shaking. I felt like I was going to fall apart.
The Year of our Goddess, 1691
The Prophecy, as told by our Goddess's favorite.
'A child will come to pass,
One who's beauty and strength will rival those of the bloodlines.
One who's strength and courage will be that of many men.
She will be his release,
And she will be his demise.
Through sunrise and sunset, she will be tested.
If she embraces that which resides in her, she will be the savior of all of us.
If she denies that which resides within her, she will condemn us all.'
I knew this day would come. The Prophecy has been passed down through the line of Priestesses before me.
A warning of the child to come.
A child that within her lies the blood of the most powerful witches and warlocks of history.
A burden that she will have to carry alone.
I had hoped that The Prophecy would not come to pass with myself as a witness. I had prayed to the Goddess that my daughter, and those that come through the ages, would be spared.
I prayed, Goddess, how I prayed, but I was never answered.
So here I sit, heavy with child, knowing that I will never be able to hold her in my arms. I will never be able to watch her grow, see her accomplishments and failures. I will never be able to see her fall in love, and watch as that love becomes another child.
Though the Goddess refused my reverent wish, I was given a respite. I have seen the future. I have seen where The Prophecy will conclude. I have seen you, Starlette.
I re-read the passage, my frantic mind grasping at some connection to what was happening. I felt light headed at the knowledge that she knew. This past ancestor of mine knew what was happening to me. What was destroying me? I didn't care if it sounded insane. Everything about my life was insane, what was one more.
It will all end with you, my dear child.
I cannot express how sorrowful it makes me feel to know that one of my family will be burdened with this.
But I take heart in the knowledge that you have the strength within you to succeed.
And you need to succeed, Starlette. There is no other option.
The Prophecy has been foretold, and you will be the key to all of it.
A power will rise again. One that will have the capabilities to destroy humanity. Putting brother against brother and creating a war that will be unlike any the world has ever seen.
You, my dear child, are the only one who will be able to stop him.
You, Starlette, will be the only one amongst the God's and Goddesses' children who has the power to finally end what had been started years ago.
It must end, Starlette. There is no other option.
This book has all the secrets of our bloodlines, and those of my husbands. Within it you have found the knowledge needed to control the raging power within you. The ability to harness it.
You are not going losing your sanity, my dear one. You have a mass of power within you. It grows every day, preparing for the moment in time when you will face your enemy. It has taken control of the emotions most susceptible to power. Lust and anger.
You must embrace your power and look to those who can help you master it. If you do not, the turmoil within will only grow heavier, more all-consuming.
I never wanted this for you. I never wanted this for anyone, but my time in this tale is over, so I pray that this book has been enough to help you. Enough to guide you.
You must prepare. The war will be here soon, if it hasn't come already.
Embrace your power Starlette, I beg of you. You must embrace the darkness, or all will be lost.
With everything, there is always Love.
Sarah
I sat in stunned disbelief, reading over and over those haunting words. My breathing increased with my rising panic. I had read the book. I had memorized passages, knew segments as well as if I had written it myself, but I still didn't understand. I didn't want this. I just wanted it to go away. My mind kept screaming at me that it wasn't real, that I was just bi-polar like the doctors kept telling me. Maybe it was just a figment of my overactive imagination. But still, through all the doubts, the insanity of my situation, my heart knew the truth. As crazy as it was, I was the key. The book fell lifelessly from my fingertips. I ran my hands through my hair, gripping it in my fists as I started to subconsciously shake my head in denial.
“This isn't real, this isn't happening.” Maybe if I told myself enough, it would come true. A sob caught in my throat, burning in its intensity. I looked around frantically, searching for anything, anyone that could help. The darkness was mocking me, sending its waves of electricity painfully across my skin. I felt full of it. My skin felt tight, like the evil that was within me was stretching me beyond my limits. Faster and faster I turned, looking for an escape. There was no escaping what was haunting my mind, tormenting me.
A pounding seemed to thump through my mind. My head snapped up as I realized it wasn’t coming from within me, but from the door to the patio.
I stumbled toward it, hoping that whoever was there would help me. End me. At this point, I didn’t care. I almost wished my end would come and would release me from this madness.
I fell against the door and fumbled with the knob. I didn't care who would see me. A bitter wind cut through the room as it opened, quickly followed by the shadow of a man. Of Andrei.
He grabbed me roughly by the shoulders, the gold flecks in his eyes starting to grow, morph. “Where's the amulet!” He shouted into my face.
I was shaking uncontrollably, his grip the only thing holding me up. “I— It came off— Gabe— a fight. It's me.”
The coldness in his face started to change. Th
e heat that I had loved to see was slowly breaking through. Tears streamed down my face. I let them fall. I couldn't stop them. I couldn't stop anything.
He eased down onto the floor, pulling me across his lap, embracing me, and protecting me. I looked up into his eyes, captured. They anchored me. Kept me safe. “Why?” I whispered.
He closed his eyes tightly. “Why what? You weren't supposed to take it off Star. I— I don't know what to do now.” The agony in his voice made my tears fall faster. Still, I had to know.
“Why did you change?” My teeth started chattering. It hurt. Everything hurt.
“I saw it. I was there, at the graveyard.”
“I— I don't understand.” My eyes pleaded with him. I didn't have anything to hold onto, anything to believe in anymore. I closed my eyes as my body began to weaken. The storm continued to rage, beating its fury against the house. The rattling windows seemed to create some unbreakable melody, lulling me further into the darkness.
“Star! You need to open your eyes! You have to stay with me!” he shook my shoulders. They lolled limply against his legs, my head rocked back. I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to see his face change yet again.
“It’s not real. It’s not real.” I murmured. My voice was soft, scared. A torrent of pain ripped through my soul. My eyes flew open as a scream tore out of my throat. Burning it.
He held me tighter to him. My mind clung to the thought of him as my soul began to shred. To separate.
“My Goddess,” he whispered as he looked deeply into my eyes. The pain in them almost sent me over the edge, tumbling into the never ending abyss.
My breathing became faster. I couldn't feel the energy anymore. It was too far out. The pictures on my wall began to tremble to the sound of the continuous thunder. They fell to the floor. The shattering glass adding to the melody of the madness outside, and the madness within me.
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