Burn It Down

by Jess Anastasi

  Jared snapped his glance to Troy at the slow admittance, but Troy was still staring upward.

  “Things started out okay, you know?” Troy continued after a moment. “My sister is eight years older than me, so we don’t have a lot in common. She was perfect. Nice to everyone. Popular, well-behaved, always got perfect grades. She was their golden child.” Troy sat up again and shoved a hand through his hair, looking everywhere but at him. “My mom never said so, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t plan to have me. I guess it didn’t matter too much. My mom loved me and gave me as much time as she could when she wasn’t working as a receptionist. My dad was gruff and worked long hours, but he wasn’t a bad guy. Not at first anyway.”

  Something in the change of Troy’s tone made his stomach churn, and he reached out to find Troy’s hand and linked their fingers. Troy still wouldn’t look at him, however.

  “There was an accident where he worked, and he hurt his back. Not so bad that he couldn’t work anymore, but he was laid up for a while. Mom didn’t like him taking the pain pills because he got nasty. She managed to convince him to stop after only a few months, but he went back to work and turned to the bottle instead.”

  Oh no. Jared clenched his hand tighter around Troy’s, almost as afraid to hear what was coming next as he was desperate to know. Troy sat up straighter, his shoulders bunching with tension.

  “Turned out he was even worse on the liquor, and that she couldn’t convince him to give up. He was mean as a snake, quick to anger, and violent. By then my sister had moved out and gone to college in Phoenix. When I was twelve, it got so bad one of the teachers at school became suspicious. CPS came and took me out of school one Wednesday afternoon and told me I couldn’t go home for a while. I was relieved to get away from my dad, but I was worried about my mom. Turns out I should have been more worried about myself.”

  Jared closed his eyes, trying to suck in a calming breath as discreetly as possible. Trying not to imagine Troy as a twelve-year-old, taken out of a bad situation and ending up in a worse one. He wanted to beg Troy not to say any more, but this was important. He needed to hear this for both their sakes.

  “They put me in a home with half a dozen other foster kids. I was the youngest by about a year. The foster parents were all cheerful sunshine and rainbows when the guy from CPS dropped me off. But the second he was gone, they basically looked straight through me and told me in no uncertain terms not to make trouble for them.”

  Troy paused, taking a couple of slow breaths, his palm gone clammy. But at this point, Jared wasn’t letting him go for anything.

  “A couple of the older kids dragged me upstairs. I had no idea what the hell was happening, only that it was clear no one was going to help me. Four of them—three boys and one girl—they took me into the bathroom and locked the door.”

  A fine tremor went through Troy, so Jared shifted closer, pressing into Troy’s side, not sure if he’d welcome the physical comfort or not. He lowered his head to Troy’s shoulder, blinking back tears and knowing no matter what came next, he wouldn’t ever see Troy any differently.

  No, maybe that wasn’t true. He’d be in awe of him. Think he was even more amazing than he already was. In spite of what’d happened to him, Troy had become this wonderful, generous, sensitive man.

  “They started beating on me, then ripped off all my clothes and shoved me into the bathtub. Two of them pissed on me, and the third guy—” Troy visibly swallowed, voice going hoarse. “He jacked off all over me while the others laughed. I threw up, which they thought was even funnier.”

  “Oh fuck, Troy.” Jared squeezed his eyes closed but couldn’t stop the tears from escaping.

  “Initiation, they said.” Troy shuddered, and Jared wrapped both arms around him, wishing with every fiber of his being he could go back in time and stop all that from happening to him. “I spent six months in that home. As long as I kept to myself, they mostly left me alone. Another kid around my age came in a few weeks after me and they did the same thing to her. I didn’t—”

  Troy was shaking now, and Jared could hear the shame coloring his words. “I didn’t try to help her. I let it happen.”

  “You couldn’t have done anything.” His voice came out thick with tears, but he didn’t try to hide it. “You were just a kid yourself, trying to survive.”

  Troy shook his head, whether to say he didn’t agree or didn’t want to talk about it, Jared wasn’t sure.

  “Anyway, one day another guy from CPS showed up to get me. Turned out my dad had killed himself drunk driving and they were willing to give me back to my mom. I was so damned relieved. Then I felt guilty I wasn’t more upset about my dad being dead. When I got home, though, it was a big joke. My mom was a shell of herself—half out of it on antidepressants, antianxiety meds, sleeping tablets, and fuck knows what else. I ended up getting a job the minute I was old enough so we didn’t lose the house. My sister didn’t want to know about it. I barely graduated high school. Then I packed up and went off to college. A few weeks later, my sister called me. She’d gone home for the first time in forever to find our mom dead. Suicide or overdose, no one can really say for sure. I think maybe my sister blames me for it. We were never close, but things were even more strained after—”

  “Fuck, Troy, that’s a load of bullshit!”

  Troy finally met his gaze at the vehement outburst. His eyes were suspiciously wet, but no tears had fallen. God only knew how many tears he’d already cried for himself over the years.

  “If your sister truly believes that, then she’s not worth the time of day. Especially when she never did anything to help you.”

  “She had her own life—”

  He held up a hand to cut Troy off. “Nope. Don’t want to hear it. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the only one who matters.”

  A flicker of warmth returned to Troy’s expression. “The only one who matters, huh?”

  His pulse kicked up a few notches as he realized what he’d said. “Well, I mean—”

  There was something in the way Troy was staring at him, hope and a whole lot of vulnerability in his earnest gaze. Like Troy was standing outside of a warm house on a snowy night, just waiting to be told he could come in and make himself at home.

  “Yeah,” he said on a rushed exhale, not caring he was throwing himself headlong into this thing—whatever this was—when he’d expressly told himself not to. “You really are the only one who matters.”

  Troy pulled him closer, even though they were already sitting practically flush up against each other. “No one has ever been as important to me as you, Jared. No one.”

  Oh damn. He was done for. Might as well give up the game and surrender everything this man wanted from him.

  “Troy,” he whispered, no idea how to put anything he was thinking or feeling into words.

  Except then he didn’t have to because Troy was kissing him, lips moving demandingly over his, devouring him like there really wasn’t anything else in the world as important.

  Even though they’d frantically gotten each other off not even an hour ago, Troy’s tongue in his mouth was doing wicked, melty, scrumptious things to his insides. Goddamn. He needed to get Troy into a bed like yesterday.

  “Again with the kissy face?”

  At Tate’s exasperated complaint, Jared pulled back to see his brother and Lewis standing a few feet away.

  “Something wrong?” Troy asked in a smooth, even voice, not sounding the least perturbed by the untimely interruption or as though his world had been rocking like Jared’s had. If not for the way Troy’s fingers were still digging into his hip, he would have thought the guy hadn’t been affected by the kiss at all.

  “Was there another bonfire happening somewhere else in the park tonight?” Tate asked, shifting his attention to somewhere off behind where they were sitting.

  “Not that I know of.” Troy got to his feet and then reached out a hand to help Jared up. Once he was upright, Troy kept a firm grip on his fingers
. The notion Troy wanted to hold hands with him made him stupidly giddy like a damn twelve-year-old. “Why do you ask?”

  Tate pointed past them. “It just looks like someone else has got a pretty decent blaze going.”

  Jared turned to look for whatever Tate was talking about, but it didn’t take any searching to find the orange glow above the trees.

  “Oh shit.” The size of the glow…that was not a bonfire.

  “The ranger station is over that way,” Troy said, hurriedly yanking his SUV keys from his pocket.

  Jared spun back to face his brother and then took in Lewis standing just behind him, realizing something—or rather someone—was missing. “Where’s Aaron?”

  The pair shared a worried look, neither of them speaking up right away. Jared pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed 911 while he waited for one of them to ’fess up.

  “Dammit, Tate, now isn’t the time to play the good-time guy. That blaze is way bigger than a bonfire,” he said while he waited for the operator to answer. “Everyone could be in danger if EFD don’t get here in time to get it under control,”

  “He said he needed to go to the bathroom,” Lewis answered, looking worried, as if he’d known Aaron hadn’t been telling the truth. “Just after you came to speak with us. But that was like almost an hour ago and he hasn’t come back.”

  The 911 operator answered, so he quickly identified himself and passed on as many details for the fire chief as he could, even though he didn’t have much at this stage.

  He glanced up at the sound of a siren to see Troy had pulled his SUV around near the picnic shelter. The crowd seemed to hush around them, unease rippling through the milling groups at the flashing lights and earsplitting siren.

  “Lewis, you’re with me.” He pointed the teen toward the idling SUV. “Tate, I need you to start telling people to evacuate, but try not to let them panic or block the roads. The fire engines are going to need to get in here fast. Call me as soon as you lay eyes on Aaron.”

  Tate nodded, expression grim but determined. He felt a moment’s hesitation over practically throwing his younger brother into the frying pan, but if he really did want to become a firefighter, this would prove his worth. He already knew Tate could be calm under pressure from the few ride-alongs his brother had done on the rig with him at the beginning of summer.

  Jared didn’t take the time to watch his brother move into action, even though he wanted to reassure himself Tate could handle it. Instead he sprinted up the short rise after Lewis and threw himself into the SUV, barely getting the door slammed shut before Troy jammed his foot on the accelerator and sent gravel spitting from under the tires as they took off like a shot.

  He glanced into the back seat, where Lewis was staring at them with wide eyes.

  “Seat belt,” he murmured, trying for an encouraging smile but not sure he’d quite nailed it.

  He turned his attention back to Troy, who had his hands clenched so tightly around the steering wheel, his knuckles were white. Beyond the windshield, the orange glow in the night sky seemed to grow larger, reflecting off the thick plume of black smoke billowing upward and blocking out the stars.

  His stomach roiled, praying this wasn’t it. Not the wildfire he’d been dreading that’d started feeling inevitable after so many weeks of hot, dry weather. It’d been another sweltering day, but conditions were calm now—no blustery wind to snatch embers and fling them out to make countless spot fires beyond the main blaze. The cooling night temperature and slight damp in the air should also work in their favor, but he wasn’t taking any of that for granted. The sooner EFD arrived with the hoses and rigs, the better.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  TROY DIDN’T want to be right. He wanted to be wrong, wanted to have made a mistake. But when they rounded the final bend and shot out of the trees much faster than he should have been driving in the park at night, the rangers’ station was fully engulfed in wild flames, snapping back and forth over every surface of the primarily wooden log structure.

  “EFD will be here any second,” Jared assured him, flinging open the door before he’d even pulled to a complete stop. “Is there any kind of hose or water source nearby?”

  He grabbed Jared’s arm to stop him from scrambling out of the SUV, overcome with a sudden irrational fear that Jared was going to throw himself headlong into the fire and end up hurt. “Jared, you can’t possibly hope to hold off a fire like that with a garden hose.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. But I can try to dampen the perimeter and stop it spreading to the forest.” Jared gently tugged himself free and then glanced over his shoulder. “Lewis, stay in the car. Understand? Don’t get out for anything, not even if you see Aaron. If the fire gets out of control, Troy will come back and drive you to safety.”

  Lewis gave a jerky nod, face pale and eyes wide in the flickering light. Troy opened his mouth to argue with Jared’s decision about him being the one to get Lewis out of here, but of course it was logical. Jared was the experienced firefighter. He was the only one who really knew what he was doing until EFD arrived.

  Pushing the thoughts away, he rushed out of the SUV and led Jared over to the garden faucet a few yards away from the main building they only used for keeping the grass green in the immediate area around the offices. The radiant heat from the building was almost unbearable, instantly making sweat bloom over every inch of his skin. The smoke burned his nostrils and scoured the back of his throat, leaving him trying to breathe more shallowly to keep from coughing.

  “Is there a second one somewhere?” Jared yelled over the crackle and roar of the flames.

  Troy had seen plenty of fires on the news and TV, but he’d never imagined they could be so loud.

  “Around back,” he shouted in return.

  Jared had the hose unwound and faucet open full in record time. “Okay, you stay here and use this. Don’t worry about hosing the building. At this point it’s a lost cause. Just wet down as much of the grass and surrounding brush as you can. And if any spot fires start—” Jared pointed off to the left where a smaller fire had started on a dry patch of grass, spraying the hose back and forth over it to douse the flames. “Put them out as quickly as possible. Those are more likely to start a wildfire.”

  He nodded to indicate he understood and slipped the hose from Jared’s fingers. As he went to step away, Troy grabbed a handful of his shirt and hauled him back, catching him up for a quick, hard kiss.

  “Be careful. Please.”

  Jared’s gaze burned as he stared at him, giving a shallow nod and quickly tracing a thumb along his jaw. Then he was gone, sprinting around the far side of the burning building, disappearing into shadow and smoke.

  Troy’s heart bumped unsteadily against the inside of his chest, but he forced himself to concentrate on what Jared had told him to do. In the few moments he’d been distracted by Jared running off into possible danger, two more spot fires had broken out. He turned the hose on them, putting them out as quickly as he could and then wetting some of the perimeter like Jared had told him to prevent any more sparks taking.

  His mind whirled—worry for Jared bouncing against shock that this was happening, buffeted by the question of whether this was Benny Sadler’s threats come to fruition. But Aaron was missing as well, and he couldn’t entirely ignore the teen’s proximity to both this and the dock fire.

  Sweat poured down his face, and the smoke made his eyes sting, while his shirt started sticking to his back. It felt like he stood against the ferocious roar of the fire in the shifting shadows for hours, but in reality, it was probably less than ten minutes before two fire trucks came barreling up the road and pulled to a stop just a few feet from the burning building.

  Several firefighters immediately set to work with practiced efficiency. One he recognized from the dock fire a few days ago came over and slapped him on the back.

  “Nice job, Hurst. Looks like you kept it from spreading. Where’s Winters?”

  “’Round back,�
� he called in reply, easing away once the firefighters turned their larger hoses on the flames and surrounds, wetting everything down much faster than he’d been able to achieve with the comparatively small garden hose.

  “We’ve got it from here,” the firefighter replied with a confident nod.

  “Thanks. I’m definitely happy to leave the firefighting to you guys.”

  The guy gave a short laugh and then turned his attention to the rig.

  He’d never given firefighting much thought, just had a vague knowledge in the back of his mind it was a thing some people did for a job. He hadn’t needed to give it any more consideration than that.

  But seeing the intimidating viciousness of what was arguably a small, contained fire, he had a new appreciation for Jared’s dedication to his job, as well as any others who worked in a fire department. He couldn’t imagine facing a huge building fire or worse, the devastation and unstoppable destruction of a wildfire. Quite truthfully, it had to be terrifying.

  But Jared hadn’t even blinked. He’d calmly and confidently reeled off instructions, keeping his cool even though he knew exactly what was at risk. He hadn’t hesitated to take on this fire by himself with only an inexperienced park ranger to assist him, assured they would do what they had to until backup arrived.

  Troy went over to his SUV to check on Lewis. The kid had done exactly as Jared had told him—he was still sitting in the middle of the back seat, staring out the windshield as EFD doused the fire from several sides.

  “You okay?” he asked, leaning on the doorframe as he wiped a hand over the sweat and gritty soot caking his hair. He must look a sight.

  “What happened?” Lewis asked instead of answering.

  It was a damned good question, and he could only shake his head in response, because at this point, he had no idea.

  “Aaron!” Lewis suddenly exclaimed, bouncing a little on the seat and then hurrying to climb out of the SUV.

  Troy looked over to see Jared leading Aaron from around the opposite side of the building. Part of the roof and one of the walls suddenly collapsed in on itself, sending a shower of sparks high into the night sky.