Gone by Nightfall

by Dee Garretson

  Sophie carried a small tray with a single glass on it full of a pink, cloudy liquid. Some of it sloshed out when she set it on the table next to Dmitri. “We brought a special drink for Dmitri Antonovich to make his leg better.”

  “What’s in it?” I asked.

  The twins looked at each other. Nika spoke up. “Only milk and jam and a medicine Polina got from her babushka.”

  While I didn’t think any of Polina’s medicines were poisonous, I’d be hesitant to consume some of them. Before I could warn him, Dmitri took a sip.

  His jaw moved in an odd way and I realize he was trying not to gag.

  “It’s … it’s very thoughtful of you,” he said after he managed to swallow. “I’ll sip it slowly as I draw to make it last.”

  “Do you feel different?” Nika asked eagerly.

  “Um … yes, I feel better,” Dmitri said.

  “Don’t you think Lottie is pretty?” Sophie asked.

  Miles burst out laughing and Hap made a sputtering sound.

  “Sophie!” I was mortified.

  “Charlotte Danielovna is very pretty,” Dmitri said solemnly.

  I didn’t know where to look or what to say. Luckily, Papa saved me. He walked in and held his arms out as if he wanted to embrace us all.

  “Very cozy,” he said. “I like to see all you children together.” He of course didn’t notice that it was very late for Sophie and Nika. “Dmitri, let’s have our talk now. Lottie, why don’t you come in with us. Dmitri Antonovich and I are going to talk about the boys’ lessons now that he’s had a chance to see what they know and what they don’t.”

  The “what they don’t know” column was much longer than the “what they know” one. I was curious to hear what Dmitri would say, so I followed them into the library.

  Once we were settled, Papa started with Miles. “I know his illness has led to gaps in his knowledge, but if he applies himself, he can catch up, and he’ll be well enough to attend university someday.”

  “It’s difficult to convince him to study subjects he’s not interested in.” Dmitri chose his words carefully. “He’s quite occupied with studying American history right now, to the exclusion of everything else. He’s writing a comparison of the American government under British rule to the Russian government.”

  “Oh, he’s back to that?” Papa chuckled. “You should have seen him when he was a just a twig of a boy. He’d go around shouting ‘Give me liberty or give me death!’ Something some radical American was famous for saying.”

  My breath stopped. It couldn’t be. Just because Miles could quote American revolutionaries didn’t mean he was writing seditious brochures. My mind went into a whirl as I tried to think of all the reasons it couldn’t be him. How could he get them printed? And he couldn’t distribute them. I assumed most of the radicals were from the universities, meeting in secret spots around the city. Surely I’d know if he sneaked out at night.

  Except I wouldn’t have known he was sneaking out to the Tamms’ party if I hadn’t run into the boys. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, there was no escaping the possibility that Miles was the one behind the brochures. My stomach turned over.

  “Lottie, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I heard Papa’s voice, but it sounded far away. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, nothing,” I choked out. I got up, bumping into the chair in my haste to get out of the room. “I need a drink of water and I want to check on the twins. You don’t need me for this.”

  As soon as I was in the hall, I ran into the sitting room. Only Miles and Hap were still there. “Miles, I have to talk to you!”

  He’d moved over to a desk and was writing. “All right. Talk,” he said, putting down his pencil.

  “No! Not here. Dmitri will be back up soon. Come to my room.”

  He got up and I grabbed hold of his arm, dragging him up the stairs and ignoring his complaints. When we got to my room, I pulled him in far enough to shut the door.

  “What—” he started to say.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve been writing flyers calling for the overthrow of the czar!”

  He blinked a few times. “I won’t tell you if you don’t want to know.”

  “How could you!” I yelled, and then realized how loud I’d been. “You’re not a child anymore, even though you act like one.”

  He clenched his fists together. “How could I? Don’t you see? Russia is falling apart! People are starving; soldiers are deserting. If we continue as we are, the Germans will win. We won’t have a czar, and we won’t have anything else, either.”

  My head began to pound. “How are flyers going to do any good, besides getting you arrested?”

  “What else can I do?” He hit himself on his chest with his fist. “I know what’s going to happen to me. I’m not going to spend the time I have left watching everyone else out there actually doing something!”

  The headache hit me full on. We never talked about the future. We always pretended there would be a cure. Hearing him say it meant we couldn’t pretend. I wrapped my arms around myself, the headache bringing on such nausea I thought I would throw up. I wished I’d never said anything.

  “And what about you?” he said. “You don’t think of the danger to yourself with your little black-market arrangements!”

  I sank down on the bed.

  “Oh, you didn’t think I knew?” Miles gave a harsh laugh. “I see you out the window. It wasn’t that hard to figure out why Ivan would come to the house and park his cart right by the door of the carriage house and then have to carry the wood all the way across the courtyard to stack it. And I’ve seen you go into the carriage house with an empty basket and come back out with it covered and obviously heavy. You aren’t out there just chatting with Yermak. Why do you get to do something important and I don’t?”

  I didn’t have an answer for that.

  “I hope you haven’t involved Hap in this,” I said, trying to shift the subject away from me.

  He looked down at the floor. “No, not really.”

  I had hoped he would say no, but that vague answer told me I needed to know more. “What does that mean?”

  “He knows what I’m doing, but I’ve never let him go with me to any meetings. He cares too, Charlotte, so don’t go and yell at him.”

  “Meetings? You’ve been going out to meetings?” I was horrified. People could identify him.

  “A few. Nobody uses their real names. It’s not that dangerous.”

  Except for someone with bright red hair, who spoke Russian well but would never be mistaken for a Russian.

  “How are you even getting the flyers printed? If you are the one who is taking them to someone with a printing press, then someone has seen you and can report you.” I paused, suddenly realizing what I’d been missing. “Raisa has been helping you, hasn’t she?” I put my hand to my head, though it did nothing to stop the throbbing. “She still has access to her father’s printing press.” I couldn’t believe my best friend had kept such a secret from me and put my brother in danger at the same time. Was she even my friend at all?

  “Yes, I asked her to help,” Miles said. “She was glad to be able to do something. The sooner revolution comes, the sooner her father will be let out of prison. Don’t go yelling at her, too.”

  I had to think. No matter how much I wanted to yell, I knew it wasn’t going to help. And the more I knew, the better I’d be able to find a way out of the mess.

  “How did the playwright at the Tamms’ get hold of one of your flyers?” I asked. “The baron showed us one today.” I told him about the baron’s visit, trying to keep my voice steady. Panicking wouldn’t do us any good.

  “I don’t know the playwright and he doesn’t know me,” Miles said. “It’s an arrangement. I leave them at the Tamms’ and someone picks them up during one of their parties. I don’t know who. Peet has seen the man but doesn’t know his name.”

  I remembered the package I had assumed was a present for Peet.
The pain in my head increased. “So Peet is involved too?” I didn’t even really need to ask.

  “Yes,” Miles said before he began to cough—deep, wracking coughs that he couldn’t get under control.

  I got up and tried to help him to the bed, but he pulled away from me, waving me off. Hap burst into the room and wrapped his arms around Miles, supported him so that he stayed upright. He said something to Miles, but I couldn’t hear what it was over the sound of the coughing. I lost track of counting the seconds. I thought he’d never stop.

  When the coughing finally eased, Miles sagged a little and closed his eyes. “Come on, Miles,” Hap said. “You and Lottie can talk more tomorrow.”

  Miles nodded, not looking at me.

  I sat back down on the bed after they left. If I knew anything about my brother, it was that it wouldn’t be easy to convince him to stop with the flyers. But if he was caught, being Papa’s stepson wouldn’t help him. Just like Papa had tried to warn me that morning, even the children of prominent people could be charged with crimes against the state. The lucky ones managed to bargain or bribe their way to exile, but the rest were imprisoned like ordinary people. I couldn’t bear the thought of Miles being dragged out of the house, beaten and bloody like Samuel.

  I realized we’d have to take a drastic step to keep him safe. Miles had to leave the country. There was no other good option.

  Chapter Ten

  I WENT TO bed and slept for small stretches of time, my mind too busy running through different possibilities to stay asleep for long and my head still gripped with pain. If Miles left, Hap would have to go with him, in case Miles got sick along the way. With the war on, it would be a long and difficult trip. And if Miles fell ill, they’d have to stop wherever they were and stay until he was better, and he would need to be under a doctor’s care.

  I knew he wouldn’t want to leave. He and Raisa were so sure revolution was coming—and so sure it would be a good thing—but I feared their hopes weren’t based on reality. I’d heard about the attempts at revolution that had happened before we’d come to Russia. They’d all been crushed easily. Even if a new revolution came, there was no guarantee everything would immediately get better.

  Could I really let them go without me? I’d never been apart from either brother, and I’d promised my mother I would take care of them. But I had to take care of Nika and Sophie and Stepan, too. They needed me more. Papa was too old to manage them without me.

  I felt like I was being torn in two. My head hurt so much I got up and found some aspirin powder, mixed it with some water, and swallowed it down as fast as I could to get rid of the bitter taste.

  At some point I fell asleep, and when I woke up hours later than I normally did, the headache was gone and my mind was clear. I realized that even if we had to be split up, it was the best choice. Making the decision made me feel much better. We could do what needed to be done.

  The trickiest part would be to figure out the right route. Going west across the Atlantic was dangerous, but going east across Russia and the Pacific was a much longer trip.

  I got up and got dressed, telling myself that if I could get everything organized, they could leave within a week. Then they would be safe.

  As I was putting up my hair, Sophie and Nika burst in.

  “Dmitri likes kittens!” Nika shouted.

  Sophie climbed up on the bed and began to jump. “Yes! He says they are his third favorite animal after horses and dogs!”

  “Third favorite? That’s nice,” I said, concentrating on my attempt to get my hair to stay in a bun. I wished there weren’t such strict expectations that women had to wear their hair up in public. I wasn’t very good at controlling my hair. “You haven’t been bothering him, have you?”

  Sophie flopped down. “No. We’ve been keeping him company while the boys are working on their math problems.”

  “I’m sure Dmitri is overjoyed with your company.”

  “He is,” Nika said. “And Anna’s stable cat has kittens. Last time we were there we played with them. They are so cute! I liked the gray one and Sophie liked the black one, but the others were pretty too. Why doesn’t Bobik ever have kittens?” Bobik was the fierce old tomcat who lived in our stable. He liked the horses, but he didn’t think much of humans.

  “Because he’s a boy.” I jammed another pin in my hair. “You know that boys don’t have babies.”

  They were quiet for a moment, but I could imagine the wheels turning in their heads. I waited to hear what would come next.

  Sophie got an idea first. “If Dmitri got a kitten, Papa couldn’t argue, because it wouldn’t be our kitten—it would be Dmitri’s.”

  That was an easy one to counter. “But Dmitri won’t bring a kitten into a house that isn’t his. I’m sorry. Papa isn’t going to change his mind.”

  “Does Dmitri like you, Charlotte?” Nika asked as she opened up a perfume bottle.

  I took it away from her, set it on the other side of the dressing table, and then twisted around so I could see the back of my hair in the mirror. It would have to do. “Like me? I don’t know. I don’t think he dislikes me.”

  “Does he look at you with longing eyes?” Sophie asked.

  “Where did you think up such a thing?” I asked. “Has Miles been reading you some of his stories?”

  “Polina said that’s what boys in love do, they look at you with longing eyes, but she couldn’t explain it very well. What are longing eyes, anyway?”

  “I’m not sure, but whatever they are, Dmitri does not look at me with longing eyes. Don’t be silly.”

  “He might. Maybe even today.” They both giggled.

  Before I could ask what about today was special, Hap bounded into the room, nearly knocking over Nika. He grabbed her just in time and set her on her feet. “There’s someone here to see you, Lottie. An American. He says you’re going skating with him. What’s going on?”

  I’d completely forgotten about Carter.

  “You’re going skating with a boy? You can’t!” Sophie screeched. Nika ran around and grabbed the perfume vial off the dressing table and clutched it in her hand, I suppose to prevent me from putting some on for the boy.

  “Why not? I thought you wanted me to get married,” I teased.

  “No!” they both cried.

  “You can’t marry just any boy!” Sophie declared.

  “Is he handsome like Dmitri?” Nika asked.

  “It doesn’t matter what he looks like. He seems nice enough.” And he was exactly the person I needed to talk to. He’d just made the trip from America, so he could tell me the best way to go about planning the boys’ trip.

  “Is his nose as nice as Dmitri’s?” Nika added. “Dmitri’s nose is beautiful.”

  “I haven’t noticed Carter’s nose.” I didn’t want to get into a nose-comparison discussion, and I really couldn’t recall the American’s nose.

  Hap scowled. “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why are you going skating with him? You don’t do that sort of thing.”

  “That sort of thing? Who told me a couple of days ago I was acting like an old lady? This is what people my age do. They go skating. They see friends.”

  “I suppose,” Hap said. “It’s just weird for you.”

  I was beginning to feel ganged up on. “Aren’t you two supposed to go play with Anna Andreevna today?” I asked the twins.

  “Yes, but Polina isn’t feeling well,” Nika said.

  “She told us she would walk us there once she feels better,” Sophie added. “We told her we’d be quiet until then.”

  “I’ll take you on our way. Come on, let’s get your coats and boots.” It took so long to find my skates and get the twins ready, I thought Carter might have given up and left, but he was still there when we finally went downstairs, gazing up at the ceiling as he had at the hospital. For some reason, he held a good-sized piece of fur in his hands.

  As I was saying hello to Carter and explaining the
twins while I was trying to get their coats on, Miles and Dmitri came out of the library, carrying stacks of books.

  I didn’t want to give Miles a long explanation about where I was going and with whom, so I said, “I can’t wait to get on the ice. Let’s go.”

  “Lottie!” Miles called.

  “I’ll talk to you later,” I said as I grabbed hold of Carter’s arm and practically dragged him out the door. “Come on, girls.”

  Once we were outside, I stopped long enough to adjust the shawls around the girls’ heads and faces.

  Carter shook the piece of fur he held and shaped it, then put it on his head. I stared, and the twins giggled. It was the largest hat I’d ever seen. Fur hats were very common in Russia, but this one was so big, a cat could have curled up on top of it and made a nice bed.

  He noticed me staring. “You like my hat? I got a good deal on it. I needed a hat. My ears were getting cold all the time.”

  The twins giggled again.

  “It’s very nice,” I said as loudly as I could to drown them out. “We have to go this way to drop the twins off.”

  The twins were a little too quiet for the first part of the walk. They followed behind us, and every time I looked back, two sets of eyes were focused on me.

  When we stopped at a street crossing, Nika came around in front of us and stood looking up at Carter. “When are you going back to America?” she asked. “Most people get tired of visiting here. They like it better in their own countries.”

  Carter shifted from one foot to the other and then glanced over at me before answering Nika. “I’ll be here for a while. There are lots of stories to write.”

  Nika gave a very loud sigh. “You might find it’s too cold here to stay. Sometimes foreigners don’t notice that their fingers and noses have frozen until they turn black and fall off. You should go back where you came from.”

  “Nika! You’re being rude! That doesn’t happen to people in Petrograd.” I turned to Carter. “Though if a Russian approaches you and starts talking and pointing at your nose, that means you are showing the first signs of frostbite. They do look out for foreigners.”