Why not keep her as long as I wanted? I wasn’t fucking anyone else at the moment and I was suddenly growing fond of the idea of having this one at my beck and call. I know how sweet this pussy was. And the way she’d rubbed herself against me I was sure she was ready. I wonder if she knew she’d called out my name just before she opened her eyes.
She shouldn’t have done that shit. That had opened the door to a whole lot of possibilities. I didn’t feel even an ounce of guilt for what I was thinking. As far as I’m concerned it’s payback time. The fact that I was taking advantage of her situation didn’t mean a damn thing. She’d started this shit and although it had taken ten years, it was more than past time to collect.
“Pack some stuff for you and the kids, I’m taking you to my house.” She turned from the stove to look at me and I could see her trying to gauge my mood.
“Why are we going to your house?” I raised my brow at her and she did that swallowing shit again. “No questions remember?”
She turned back around and I went back to my coffee. I bit back the little kernel of conscience that tried to rear its head. There was no room for that shit here. I was going against everything I stood for. It’s more my style to help a damsel in distress. I wanted to hurt this one, bad. At least when I was done she would know the fuck why. Unlike me who’d had to wait ten years for answers. Answers I still hadn’t found but was sure I would get them out of her ass right after I empty my nuts in her the first time.
I wanted to make her suffer the same empty desolate feeling I had all those weeks and months that I questioned why she’d done what she did. It hadn’t been easy living with the feeling of inadequacy. Before her, I never doubted myself about anything. I knew what I wanted and went after it, no reservations.
After the shit she pulled I went into a funk that had taken me damn near years to get out of and there were days when I still didn’t think it was out of my system. Now I have her in my sights and I’ll be fucked if I’m gonna let her get away again.
I’m not interested in any excuses or apologies. The time for that has come and gone a thousand times over. Now it’s time for retribution and I couldn’t have planned it better myself. I knew she was nervous as fuck as she pretended to ignore me. I wanted her more than a little bit nervous though. I want her jumping out of her skin at shadows, wondering what I’ll do next.
I’m sure she knew what day today was. I’m sure she remembers the only words I said to her at the club that first night. As I sat there watching her ass move under her nightshirt, adjusting my cock that had no manners and no discerning qualities whatsofuckingever, I realized that I hadn’t even allowed myself to really look at her.
These past few days I’ve been seeing the young girl that had climbed in and out of my bed that night. I had stubbornly not allowed myself to look, not while she was still another man’s wife. In a few hours that shit will be dead and then I’ll make her understand why she should never have come back here.
13
Julie
I can feel him boring holes in my back with his eyes as he sat there silently. My face burned and I was afraid to look back at him again. My hands shook as I rolled out the dough for the biscuits and formed the little balls that would bake into flaky goodness.
I had the gravy going and was browning the sausage. I wish the kids would wake up. Just when I need them here as a buffer they decide to sleep in. Figures. I never realized how uncomfortable silence could be. With Robert it was a blessing, with Kevin it left me on tenterhooks, not to mention what the feel of his eyes on my body did to my heart rate.
He was so silent, so still. Like a big cat getting ready to pounce on his prey. It made the situation that much more intense. I moved around the kitchen doing my best to ignore his presence but I might as well have tried to stop breathing. There was no ignoring Kevin Hunt. Instead I let my mind drift the way it has been more and more here of late.
I remembered the sweet blush of youth and that first crush. He’d always stood a head above everyone else in my eyes. Ever since the day my best friend introduced me to her older brother home from the war. I think we were fourteen or fifteen then.
I’d taken one look at his dark sexy looks and fell hard and fast. It was the most excruciating thing, I remember. Me, the awkward, gangly teenager, with braces and wild hair that I could never get to do what I want, and him, the ultimate bad boy that all the girls were after.
He’d been kind back then and I think I fell in love with him more. He didn’t make me feel stupid though I was sure he had to know about my stupid girl’s heart. How could he not? The way I used to moon over him whenever he was near. The way I’d follow him with my eyes whenever he walked into the room.
Unlike most crushes mine hadn’t faded away and died. Each time I saw him I found something else to love about him. I loved the way he and his family were, with his little sister. Loved that he started sending me little gifts whenever he’d send something home for Sandy and his mom from whatever port he’d stopped in. It made me feel special, like I was part of the family. Like he was thinking about me. I still had every one of those souvenirs in one of the bags I’d brought with me.
No matter how much I’d told myself over the years that I needed to let go of the past, of him. I couldn’t bring myself to part with the only thing I had left of him. And until a few short days ago the only thing I thought I ever would for the rest of my life.
Has it only been a few days? Have mercy, it feels like we’ve lived a lifetime already and yet nothing had really been said or done. The smell of cooking meat brought me back from my trip down memory lane. It was just as well; those memories had no place here now. I’d chuffed things up there I’m afraid and there was no going back to that time. To that girl who’d had stars in her eyes and hope in her heart. If he wasn’t sitting back there watching me I think I might’ve cried.
I heard the kids moving around in their rooms before their little feet headed for the bathroom to get cleaned up. It wasn’t long before they both came into the kitchen still rubbing sleep from their eyes. They both broke into wide grins at the sight of him and I watched as my little girl held up her arms to be picked up after greeting me good morning.
I held my breath waiting for him to rebuff her and noticed my son was watching too, his little body tense as if waiting for a blow. “Good morning princess and how did you sleep?” He picked her up as if he’d been doing it for years and then turned his attention to my son.
“Morning Dylan you look well rested; have a seat. I’ll get you both some milk while your mom finishes up breakfast.” He asked them about their night with his niece and seemed to listen attentively to their every word. I hadn’t seen Dylan this animated in a long time. Not since the last time his dad had told him he was too busy to play catch with him.
I turned away swiftly so none of them would see the tears in my eyes and took the biscuits out of the oven. “Ooh mom you made biscuits and gravy, my favorite.” My son exclaimed his eyes bright with excitement and greed. The boy do love him some biscuits now.
I looked at Kevin to see his reaction but he was busy seating Tiana in her own chair. Robert would’ve had a fit if I’d made something special for the kids and not him. And you need to stop comparing the two of them. It will only make you crazy and remind you of the wrong choice you made.
I puttered around as much as I could before it became obvious that I was stalling. I was still embarrassed about waking up sprawled all over him not to mention my own thoughts from a while ago. He watched me as though he could read my every thought and my face went up in flames. That’s been happening a lot lately.
He looked at me, and then the seat closest to him and I hustled my butt into it. His face didn’t look like he was in the mood for argument or debate. “Are we really gonna go fishing?” The hope in my son’s voice was almost heartbreaking. I looked at Kevin from beneath my lashes and was already starting to format a ready excuse in my head for when he disappointed the boy.
“Yeaaaahhhhh.” Both kids cheered and that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach went away. ‘Thank you.” I took the chance of looking at him as I spoke the words softly. All I got was a look that I could not read. Whatever it said went right to my vajeena. What a time to recall the silly name I used to call my girly bits.
I played around with the food on my plate still feeling the burn from that look across my cheek. Once again he entertained my kids and I was secretly grateful that he wasn’t taking out whatever grievance he had against me on them.
After that announcement the kids tried to rush through their meal but once again Kevin surprised me. “Your mom put a lot of effort into making this especially for you. A gentleman would show his appreciation and take his time, not rush to get to the next thing. Take your time son the fish will still be there later.” He smiled at Dylan to soften his small reprimand.
“Yes sir. Thanks mom, this is really good.” I could see Dylan just eating up all that male attention and I wanted to grab him and his sister up and get the hell out of there because I knew that this time when the end came it would destroy all of us.
I dreaded breakfast coming to an end but while the kids were still eating and I hadn’t done more than nibble at a few crusts on my plate, Kevin leaned over to me. “Go get ready.” I cleared my throat and excused myself from the table before escaping down the hallway.
I stood in the middle of Tiana’s room for a good second before going into action. Once the kids were squared away it was my turn and I found myself at a lost as to what I should take. What do you pack for a weekend with the man who stole your heart when you were too young to have him, and who now hates you?
I heard the low murmur of his voice in the kitchen and jumped into action. I threw some shorts and tees in a bag and made sure I had decent underwear and a presentable nightshirt. Thinking about bed brought to mind this morning and my vajeena acted up.
By the time he appeared in the doorway I was sitting on the side of the bed dressed and ready. I’ll check on Tiana before we walk out the door but she’s at that stage where she likes to dress herself and Dylan has been doing that for years. Without a word he took the bags from the floor and headed back out.
I heard him asking the kids if they were ready and then the door slammed. So much for making sure they were all put together. I couldn’t put it off any longer so I stood and left the room. If I were feeling daring I would drag my feet, but until I knew for sure just what Kevin Hunt had in store for me I was playing it safe.
If I wasn’t such a coward I would admit to a little bit of excitement at the way things were going. Instead of the instant blowup I’d almost expected, this long drawn out suspense had its own appeal. The possibilities were endless and just thinking about each and every one of them had me rubbing my legs together as I walked. Damn, I’m gonna run out of panties before long if I’m not careful.
All the way to his home the kids chattered away, asking him a million things at once and he took the time to answer them all. I sat in silence enjoying the old hometown, reliving some of the memories I had of the different places we drove through.
When he pulled onto a street just one over from my parents’ place I thought for a second he’d changed his mind. I knew Sandy had said he’d bought a place closer to my parents but I somehow thought she meant the lower end. Just how much money do SEALs make anyway.
The driveway he pulled into led to a massive structure that was nothing less than superb. There were turrets and widow’s peaks and a covered porch that wrapped around the whole red brick structure. The Grecian columns were white marble pillars and the grounds were immaculate.
I knew my mouth was hanging open but I couldn’t help it. The kids flew out of the car once he released them from their seats and I was still trying to pick my tongue up off the ground. “This is awesome.” Dylan gave a hoot and a yell before heading towards the back of the house where I could see the water of the pond. Some pond. It looked to be at least four acres long and about half that wide.
“Hey, don’t you go near that water without me there.” Kevin called after Dylan who came up short and trotted back to us with a grin. They both clung to his side as he took us into the house which was even more breath taking than the outside.
The foyer was white and gold with marble floors and a gigantic crystal chandelier with about a hundred tiers. I grabbed Tiana, as she was about to run ahead and was this close to telling him we couldn’t stay there. I didn’t even want to walk on the floor that looked like you could eat off of it. And I knew for a fact that at least one of my kids was gonna break something.
“Let ‘er go she’s fine.” He actually took my hand off her shoulder where I was holding her hostage. Of course that was all she needed to go bounding towards the wall of French doors at the back of the house that led onto the deck. She looked back as if to say hurry up and he dropped the bags on the entry table and grinned as he went after her.
“I know what you see out there.” He opened the door and this white mountain of fur bounded through the door. “Gunner, out.” The dog gave him a baleful look before tucking his tail and heading back the way he came.
He wasn’t down for long since he had two rambunctious kids who were all over him in a second. “He won’t hurt them. Come let me show you where the kids will be staying.” He grabbed the bags and headed up the stairs but I noticed he left mine behind.
That started my heart pounding and I almost tripped on the stairs. Once again the kids had their own room. Tiana’s had its own private bathroom and there was another one across the hall from the room where Dylan will be staying. Once he put their bags on their beds he headed back downstairs and I followed.
Once down on the landing I looked out back to where the kids were still rough housing with the dog amid shrieks and laughter on the deck. He kept going to a set of double doors at the far end of the hall and opened them.
The room beyond was massive. The king sized sleigh bed took up a good portion of one wall but still there was more than enough room on either side. There was a couch and two Queen Anne chairs strategically placed and yet more seating in the sitting area off the bedroom. He didn’t have to tell me that this was the master suite. And when he just dropped my bag on the floor next to the bed before turning and walking out again, I guess I knew where I would be sleeping.
Back out on the deck I got to see the complete beauty of the place. He must’ve had the pond dug because I grew up here and never saw anything like it. His house was bigger than my parents’ and a damn sight much nicer than the one I shared with Robert and I wondered if the day would ever come when I would feel secure in asking him just how he was able to afford it.
I’m sure the restaurant was doing well, but this place would take beyond doing well. I felt a slight sadness leave me as I realized that this would never be mine. Not just the house but also the man who owned it. Even without what happened between us there was never any guarantee that we would’ve gone any farther back then.
I knew I’d missed my one chance and there was no hope for it. But this place, the beauty and serenity of it, made my romantic heart bleed. I could see us here, together. And the sound of his laughter as he played with my children made me wish for things that could never be.
I closed my eyes against the sharp pain and opened them only to find myself staring right into his. There’d been something there in his eyes at first that he shielded suddenly by lowering his lashes before turning away again. I had the sudden urge to cry.
Why couldn’t he have become a bald potbellied slovenly pig? Then I could pat myself on the back and say ‘well done you’. Instead it was only becoming more and more clearer to me, that I had ditched the prince to marry a frog. A big fat, disgusting womanizing, piece of shit toad.
I shook off the doldrums and tr
ied to join in the fun. The kids had always wanted a dog but of course you know who, had said no. I find it strange that in the beginning of my marriage I couldn’t put thoughts of Kevin out of my mind, couldn’t stop comparing the two men, with my husband always coming up short. Now here I am doing the same but in reverse. There was nothing at all short or lacking about Mr. Hunt.
I ended up sitting around the pool with a book while he and the kids went down to the pond to fish. I’d heard him telling the kids that he’d take them out on the boat once he taught them how to swim. Unreal. It was as if some cosmic force was doing its best to strike home just what a screw up I was for leaving his bed ten years ago.
I should’ve ran away. At least told him what was going on and that I’d never wanted to marry anyone but him. But as a dutiful daughter I’d bowed to the dictates of my parents and lived to pay the price. I guess father doesn’t always know best.
To be fair, until that night I didn’t even think he had any interest in me so it was no one’s fault really; except maybe my own. I could see their heads from where I sat and hear the whisper of their voices on the wind. I put the book down and closed my eyes thinking to just rest there for a minute on the comfortable lounge.
The sun on my face felt nice and so did the nice breeze coming off he water. There were birds and squirrels playing in the trees and the scent of flowers tickled my nose.
14
Kevin
She’s still so fucking beautiful it hurts. Beauty can be deceiving. I stood over her for a good while just taking her in. I’d known the moment her eyes were off me. I’d felt it. And when that prickling sensation I get when she’s watching me didn’t return I looked back over the distance to see her laid back on the lounge fast asleep.
Starting Over (Sugar Creek Romance ) Page 7