An Instance of the Fingerpost

by Iain Pears

  ‘Excellent,’ I said. ‘And very profitable.’

  ‘Oh, indeed. Those gentlemen who have formed a company for the drainage of their lands will become prosperous indeed. And I hope to turn a profit myself, for I have some land there, in Harland Wyte. Sir? Are you all right?’

  I felt almost as though I had been struck a heavy blow in my stomach, for the mention of Harland Wyte, my family land, the heart of my father’s entire estate, was so unexpected that it left me breathless, and I fear must almost have given myself away by the way I turned pale and gulped for air.

  ‘Forgive me, Sir Samuel,’ I said, ‘I am prone to this momentary light-headedness. It will pass.’ I smiled reassuringly, and pretended to be recovered. ‘Harland Wyte, you say? I do not know it. Have you owned it long?’

  He smirked cunningly. ‘Only a few years. It was a great bargain, for it was going cheap and I saw its value better than those selling it.’

  ‘I’m sure you did. Who was the seller?’

  But he brushed my question aside and would not be drawn, preferring to expand on his cleverness than on his turpitude. ‘Now I will complete the drainage, then sell it on, and pocket a handsome profit. His Grace the Duke of Bedford has already agreed to purchase it, since he already owns most of the land all around.’

  ‘I congratulate you on your good fortune,’ I said, giving up the line of enquiry and trying another approach. ‘Tell me, sir, how you know Dr Wallis? I ask as he has tutored me on occasion. Does he consult you on his experimentations and mathematics?’

  ‘Good heavens, no,’ Morland replied with sudden modesty. ‘Although I am a mathematician myself I freely admit that he is my superior in all respects. Our connection was very much more worldly, for we both at one stage were employed by John Thurloe. Of course, I was a secret supporter of His Majesty’s cause, whereas Dr Wallis was a great man for Cromwell in those days.’

  ‘You surprise me,’ I said, ‘He seems a loyal subject now. Besides, what services could a priest and mathematician provide for someone like Thurloe?’

  ‘Many and varied,’ Morland said with a smile at my innocence. ‘Dr Wallis was the finest maker and breaker of codes in the land. He was never beaten, I think; never yielded to a stronger in cryptographical technique. For years Thurloe used his services; bundles of letters in code would be sent to him in Oxford, and the translations would come back on the next coach. Remarkable. We almost felt like telling the king’s men that they really should not waste their time putting letters into code at all, for if we captured them, Wallis could always read them. If he is your tutor, you should ask to see some; I’m sure he has them still, although he naturally does not advertise such records of his past activities.’

  ‘And you knew Thurloe as well? That must have been extraordinary.’

  He was flattered by the compliment, and this goaded him to try and impress me the more. ‘Indeed. I was almost his right-hand man for three years.’

  ‘You are a family connection of his?’

  ‘Oh, dear me no. I was sent as an envoy to Savoy to plead on behalf of the persecuted Protestants. I was there for several years, and kept my eye on exiles there as well. So I was useful, and became trusted and was offered the post when I returned. Which I kept until I fled when discovered passing intelligence to His Majesty.’

  ‘His Majesty is lucky in his servants, then,’ I said, despising the man suddenly for his self-satisfaction.

  ‘Not all of them, by any means. For every loyal man like myself, there was another who would have sold him for a bag of sovereigns. I unmasked the worst of them by making sure that some of the documents Wallis produced were seen by the king.’

  I was so close, I knew it. If I could only keep calm so that his suspicions were not aroused, I knew I could tease unheard-of treasures from him.

  ‘You hint that Dr Wallis and yourself are no longer on good terms. Is it because of what happened in those days?’

  He shrugged. ‘It no longer matters. It is all past now.’

  ‘Tell me,’ I said, insisting, and I knew the moment the words were out of my mouth that I had pushed too far. Morland’s eyes narrowed, and the air of eccentric good humour drained out of him like sour wine from a bottle. ‘Perhaps you have acquired more interests at Oxford than in your studies, young man,’ he said quietly. ‘I would advise you to go back to your Dorset estate, and concern yourself with that, if indeed any such estate exists. It is a dangerous business for any man to occupy himself with matters that are none of his affair.’

  He took my by the elbow and tried to guide me to the front door. I shook my arm free scornfully, and turned to confront him. ‘No,’ I said, confident that he would be no match for me, and that I could shake the information out of him if I so wished. ‘I wish to know . . .’

  The sentence went uncompleted. Morland clapped his hands, and instantly a door opened, and a rough-looking man came into the room, a dagger thrust obtrusively in his belt. He said nothing, but stood awaiting orders.

  I do not know whether I could have defeated such a man; it is possible, but it was just as possible that I would not. He had the air of the old soldier about him, and was certainly far more experienced in swordplay than I was myself.

  ‘You must excuse my conduct, Sir Samuel,’ I said, controlling myself as best I could, ‘but your stories are fascinating. It is true I have heard many tales at Oxford, and they interest me greatly, as they must all young men. You must forgive the enthusiasm and curiosity of youth.’

  My words did not conciliate him. His suspicion, once aroused, could not be laid to rest. In his years of deceit and duplicity he had no doubt learned the value of silence, and he was not to be tempted into taking any risk. ‘Show this gentleman out,’ he said to the servant. Then he bowed to me politely, and withdrew. I was back on the noisy street outside a few moments later, cursing myself for my stupidity.

  It was obvious by this stage that I needed to get back to Oxford. My quest was nearing its end and the answer to my remaining questions lay in that county. But it was too late to leave, and the next coach did not go until the following day. Had I been less exhausted, the constant scratching of the fleas in the straw pallet that was my communal bed would have irritated, and the noise of my companions disgusted, my senses. As it was, they occasioned no dismay at all, once I had securely bound my money bag to my waist, and ostentatiously placed my dagger under my pillow so that all could see that they were to beware of taking advantage of my sleep. The following morning I dawdled like a true gentleman of leisure, slowly drinking a pint of ale with my bread, and only leaving the place when the sun was well up.

  As I had nothing better to do, I played the viewer of sights, visiting St Paul’s Cathedral – a scandalously run-down pile of stone, quite reduced from its former glory by the depredations of the Puritans, and yet more glorious in its decrepitude than the ill-formed conceit which is now being built to replace it. I watched the booksellers and hawkers of pamphlets who congregated in St Paul’s Yard, and listened to the criers and constables reciting the list of crimes and deceits which had been the previous night’s crop of malice. So many thefts, assaults, riots, it seemed the whole town must have been up all night to have committed them. Then I walked to Westminster and saw the Palace and gazed in awe at the very window from which King Charles stepped to his bloody martyrdom, covered now in black crêpe to commemorate that evil deed, and reflected awhile on the punishments the nation had endured because of that sinful act.

  Such entertainments tired me quickly, though, so I bought myself some more bread from a street-seller, and walked back through Covent Garden, which was no more agreeable to my senses now than it had been the previous day. I was hungry, and trying to decide whether to spend the vast quantity of money needed for a pint of wine in that place, when I felt a light touch on my arm.

  I was not such a bumpkin that I did not realise what was probably about to take place, and I spun round and reached for my knife, then hesitated when I saw a finely dressed
young woman standing beside me. She had a good face, but it was so covered in wig and beauty spots and rouge and whitening that God’s gifts to her could scarcely be discerned. Most noticeable of all, I remember, was the stink of perfume which so covered her natural aromas that it was like being in a flower shop.

  ‘Madam?’ I said coldly as she raised an eyebrow and smiled at my alarm.

  ‘Jack!’ cried the creature. ‘Do not say you have forgotten me?’

  ‘You have the advantage.’

  ‘Well, you may have forgotten me, but I cannot forget the gallant way you protected me under the stars near Tunbridge Wells,’ said she.

  Then I remembered; the young whore. But how changed she was, and though her fortunes had obviously improved, in my eyes she had not changed for the better.

  ‘Kitty,’ I said, remembering her name at last. ‘What a fine lady you have become. You must forgive me for not knowing you, but the transformation is so great you cannot blame me too much.’

  ‘No, indeed,’ she said, waving a fan in front of her face in an affected manner. ‘Although no one calls me lady who knows me truly. Whore I was and now I am raised to a mistress.’

  ‘My congratulations,’ I said, for evidently she thought this was in order.

  ‘Thank you. He is a fine man, well connected and extremely generous. Nor is he too repulsive; I am a lucky woman indeed. With fortune, he will give me enough to buy myself a husband before he tires of me. But tell me, what are you doing here, gaping like a yokel in the middle of this street? It is not the place for you.’

  ‘I was looking for some food.’

  ‘There is plenty here.’

  ‘I cannot – will not – afford that.’

  She laughed merrily. ‘But I can and will.’

  And with a brazenness which took my breath away, she linked her arm in mine and led me back to the piazza and a coffee shop called Will’s, where she demanded a room to herself, and for food and drink to be brought. Far from being affronted at such a request, the servant obliged with obsequiousness as though she was indeed a lady of consequence, and a few minutes later we were in a commodious room on the first floor, overlooking the bustle below.

  ‘No one will object?’ I asked anxiously, concerned that her lord might send some bravos around in a fit of jealousy. It took her some moments to work out what I meant by this, but then she laughed again.

  ‘Oh no,’ she said. ‘He knows me too well to think me capable of ruining my prospects by such an indiscretion.’

  ‘May I know the name of your benefactor?’

  ‘Of course. Everyone else does. He is My Lord of Bristol, an entertaining and well-placed favourite of the king’s, if rather old. I caught him at Tunbridge Wells, so you see I have great reason to be grateful to you. I was there scarcely a day before I received a message asking to meet me. I pleased him as best I could, and kept him entertained, and thought that was that. The next thing I know, he wants my company back in London, and offers a handsome incentive.’

  ‘Is he in love with you?’

  ‘Goodness, no. But he is hot-blooded where his wife is an old prune, and he is mortally afraid of disease. It was all her idea; she spotted me in the street first of all and drew his attention to me.’

  She wagged her finger at me. ‘You look about to launch into a sermon, Jack Prestcott. Do desist, I pray you, or you will vex me. You are too virtuous to do anything but disapprove strongly, but what would you have me do? I sell my body for my little bit of wealth and comfort. All around there are priests and ministers who sell their souls for theirs. I am in good company, and one more sinner among such a throng will hardly be noticed. I tell you, Jack, virtue is a lonely state in this age.’

  I hardly knew what to say to this frank expression of depravity. I could not approve of her, but I was disinclined to condemn, for that would have meant an end to our acquaintance and, despite everything, her company pleased me. All the more so because, to show off her good fortune, she ordered the best food and wine, and insisted I eat as much as my stomach could hold and my head endure. All the while she talked to me of town gossip, and of her lover’s inexorable rise at court so that (she said) he was a serious rival to Lord Clarendon in the king’s favour.

  ‘Of course, Clarendon is powerful,’ she said, affecting to know all the secret dealings of the government. ‘But all the world knows that his ponderous gravity drives the king to distraction, while the gayness of Lord Bristol keeps His Majesty amused. And this is a king who always sacrifices on the altar of amusement. So Lord Clarendon is vulnerable; it will not take much to eject him, and then I will be the second whore in the kingdom, after Lady Castlemaine. It’s a pity My Lord is a papist, as that is a great hindrance to him, but even that can be overcome, perhaps.’

  ‘You think any of this might happen?’ I asked, fascinated despite myself. It is odd how gossip of the high and mighty exercises such interest.

  ‘Oh, yes. I hope so. For Lord Clarendon’s sake as much as anything.’

  ‘I hardly think he will thank you for your solicitude.’

  ‘He should,’ she said, seriously for a moment. ‘Truly he should. For I have heard worrying tales. He has annoyed many powerful people and some are less peaceable and generous than My Lord. If he does not fall from power, I fear worse may befall him one day.’

  ‘Nonsense,’ I said. ‘Fall he will, but he is an old man and that is only natural. But he will always be rich and mighty and favoured. Such people as he, who never raise a sword nor put their courage to the test, always survive and prosper while better men fall by the wayside.’

  ‘Oho,’ she said. ‘Spoken from the heart, I would say. Is this why you are in London?’

  I had forgotten I had told her of my quest, and nodded. ‘I was here to enquire after a man called Sir Samuel Morland. Have you ever heard of him?’

  ‘I believe I have. Is he not a man who concerns himself with mechanical devices? He often approaches people at court trying to beg influence for some scheme.’

  ‘Does he have any strong patrons?’ I asked. It is always well to know what you are dealing with; it would be alarming to discover that the man you wish to attack is defended by someone far more powerful.

  ‘Not that I know of. I believe he is associated in some way with schemes for draining fenland, so he may know the Duke of Bedford, but more than that I could not say. Do you want me to find out? It would be easy enough to do, and a pleasure to oblige.’

  ‘I would be deeply grateful.’

  ‘Then that is all the encouragement I need. It shall be done. Would you care to come to my lodging this evening? I attend My Lady Castlemaine in the morning, and My Lord in the afternoon, but the evenings are my own, and I am free to receive whomever I like. That is our understanding, and I must invite people, if only to show that I am keeping him to our agreement.’

  ‘It would be a pleasure.’

  ‘And now, I hope you are refreshed and prepared, as I must leave you.’

  I stood up and bowed deeply to thank her for her kindness, and was bold enough to kiss her hand. She laughed with merriment. ‘Stop, sir,’ she said. ‘You are being deceived by appearances.’

  ‘Not at all,’ I said. ‘You are more a lady than many I have met.’

  She blushed and made fun of me to cover her pleasure at the compliment. Then she swept out of the room, accompanied by the little black servant given to her as a present and who had been there throughout our interview. Her lord was easy-going and gracious, she said, but there was no need to risk his displeasure unnecessarily.

  It was already darkening, and cold, so I passed the hours in a coffee shop near St Paul’s, reading the journals and listening to the conversation of others, which filled me anew with disgust for the city and its inhabitants. So much bravado, so much bragging, so much time wasted in idle, foolish talk designed for nothing but to impress their fellows and impose on their betters by pretence. Gossip in the town is a commodity, to be bought and sold; if it is not possessed,
then it is fabricated, like coiners make specie out of dross. I was at least undisturbed, for no man there sought my company and I was truly glad it was so. While others now habitually frequent these shops, and lower themselves in what they call good company, I shun the vulgar and public places.

  The time passed, if only slowly, and eventually the hour of my appointment came. I was apprehensive of the meeting, despite our differing stations in life which should have ensured my comfortable superiority. But London is corrosive to deference. Who you are is less important than what you seem; a fraudster of no family can impose himself on a gentleman from an ancient line simply by being better dressed and having a winning manner. For my part, I would re-establish the rules the great queen insisted upon; no merchant should be allowed to dress as a gentleman, and should pay the price for any impudent imitation, for it is fraud and should be punished as such, just as it is fraud for whores to disguise their nature.

  Vice had brought great rewards in Kitty’s case and, though I was loath to admit that good can come from bad, she lived in a fashion which showed a great deal of what we are now taught to call goût. I am glad, I must say, that we English are still robust enough to need to borrow words from the French for such nonsense. While many of her fellow labourers for Venus would have flaunted the spoils of conquest, she lived simply, with solid oak furniture rather than the gilded stuff of the foreigner; simple arrases on the walls to keep in the warmth, not some gaudy tapestry. The only piece of gross vanity was a portrait of herself on one wall, impudently matched to one of her lord on the opposite, as though they were husband and wife. That, I felt, was insulting, but she assured me when she saw my disapproval, that it was a gift and she could do no other.

  ‘Jack,’ she said when we had greeted each other and sat down, ‘I must talk to you seriously for a moment.’

  ‘By all means.’