Love is Darkness (A Valerie Dearborn Novel)

by Hanson, Caroline

  It was time to get out. How long could one person hide in the shower anyway? She wrapped herself up in her Hawaii towel that she'd brought from home. It had lots of dolphins, and a couple of crabs with Hawaii written in big red letters.

  Val walked back to her room, her little bucket with soap and razor clanking against her leg. She unlocked her door and walked in, thinking that her room was basically a cell: little sink in the corner, a chair to read in, a wardrobe, her desk and desk chair plus a twin size bed.

  She put down her toiletries and closed the curtains so she could get dressed. She was about to drop the towel—

  “Mortals seem preoccupied by nudity.”

  She whirled around. Lucas was sitting in her chair in the corner of the room. He'd been hidden when she came in the door. She needed to get a fucking security guard.

  “What?” Her voice was thready with surprise and a healthy dollop of fear.

  “You may not want to discard the towel yet.”

  Her anger from before was still near the surface, almost like a layer of warmth enveloping her skin. Lucas being in her room was too much. Instead of being meek and pleasant— which could keep her alive— she was angry and surly. “Well if you left, it wouldn't be a problem. How the hell did you get in here anyway? You're a vampire and I didn't invite you in. As I remember, that was the ultimatum, 'You will invite me in, Valerie,'” she said, imitating his deep voice and weird accent. Unfortunately, she sounded a bit like The Count from Sesame Street.

  His eyes wandered down her body and lingered on her toes for a moment. They were painted purple.

  “You have a helpful, yet surprisingly contrary, cleaning lady.”

  She scowled. They do hate me!

  “Don't you think I'm at enough of a disadvantage without having to be naked in front of you? Go away!”

  Three fingers rested against the side of his head, elbow propped on the arm of the chair, as he scrutinized her intently. “You are surprisingly insolent,”

  Valerie looked at him quickly. He'd sounded amused. Maybe. Who could tell?

  His eyes dipped down her body lingering on her legs and the hem of the robe at her thigh, like he was wondering what was under there. Why, it hadn’t changed in the last thousand years, had it?

  “I can assure you that no one else would dare speak to me in such a way. Usually, they say please, thank you and my favorite.... Yes, master.” His voice was more of a drawl, with a definite hint of seduction at the end.

  Oh, what a voice! She suppressed a shiver. It was so rich she thought of chocolate. Not a little bit of chocolate, but an overdose, like when Val wolfed down a whole bar and realized that if she didn't get water immediately she might dehydrate into nothing.

  She blinked. What had he said? He wanted her to call him master? Screw that. “Yeah? Slavery is out dude. Catch up,” she muttered, as she rifled around her drawer looking for underpants.

  Lucas threw back his head and laughed. “You are terribly amusing,”

  She'd better stop that! “Not really.”

  Suddenly, he was in front of her. Mere inches between them and she was trapped against the wall. His height was incredibly imposing, and she felt a little lightheaded being so close to him. He had his forearm resting against the wall, the other hand brushing lazily across the top of her towel. His touch was electric, little prickles of pleasure dancing across her skin wherever he touched. She could feel the echo of his fingers, even as his hand dropped back to his side.

  Lucas captured her eyes with his and she didn't look away. She could hear her blood pumping slowly through her body and felt like she was in a trance. The whole world was slowing down, this moment with him an eternity as he encompassed her world.

  Val looked from his eyes to his lips, their perfection drawing her in until she felt an overwhelming need to touch him back. Her hand reached up and slid through his long hair until she reached the ends, twisting her fingers so that it twined around her hand. No man should have hair this great.

  She could smell him, expensive cologne and something under it...she didn't know what it was and while it wasn't unpleasant, she wasn't sure it was human either. Imagining smelling him, her nose pressed to the hollow of his throat, she had a sudden urge to lick him.

  Her hand lifted away from his hair and went to his cheek. It was hard and cold like a statue and she pulled away, disturbed by the sensation.

  Not human.

  Taking a deep breath, she realized where she was, who she was with, and most worrying of all, what she was doing. Her thoughts were sluggish, her breathing deep and unnaturally slow.

  Lucas shook his head, his hair swaying gently. Her gaze slid back to his mouth, watching his lips move.

  “No, again,” he said in an intimate whisper. Any hesitancy fled, and she reached back up to touch him. The cold, hard skin was now as soft and warm as a human's.

  “How do you do that?” Val kept touching him, the backs of her fingers going from his cheek to his full lips. They had more color, looked soft instead of cold and cruel.

  Val licked her lips unconsciously, wondering what it would be like to kiss him, but it was almost unfathomable as he was so… alright, she’d call a spade a spade, he was hot. Too hot for normal her. And he might eat her in a non-sexy way.

  Lucas was emotionless and that radiated from him, an almost negative energy that had weight to it.

  As her finger passed by his mouth, he opened his lips and licked her knuckle, a quick flick of his tongue, almost teasing. It was deeply erotic and her heart sped up, as though that tiny lick had been between her legs instead of on one ignominious knuckle.

  Val was hyper-aware of her next breath, and felt her nipples tighten in desire. His breath was warm against the pad of her thumb. Lucas took her palm in his warm hand and turned it over, so he could kiss her palm, the sensation making another beeline to her sex.

  His every touch was hardwired to her core, startling her into a breathy moan of pleasure. Lucas smiled, brought her hand to his mouth and breathed in her clean skin, his eyes closing as though he was just as fascinated by her as she was of him.

  He placed another kiss gently in her palm before opening his eyes and licking her again. The touch stabbed through her, warmed her everywhere. He was only kissing her hand but moisture pooled between her legs and she moved a little restlessly towards him. This isn’t normal.

  Val felt like she was on the edge of an orgasm and all he'd done was kiss her palm. He let her hand go and she was so weak limbed that her hand plunked back down to her side, jerking her out of the strange trance.

  His voice was like black leather, “I can play at being human too. Do you know what I can sense? Sex and Jack. Does he know about last night?”

  It was like he slapped her. She shoved against him but he was solid as the wall. Angry, she ducked under his other arm and stepped away from him. “Don't touch me! I want ground rules for this relationship. Working relationship!” Her voice became shrill. “And one of them is you don't barge into my room and try to seduce me.” He raised a brow and she knew he took exception to the word 'try'. As though he hadn't been trying and was offended that she thought that was the best he had.

  “But most importantly, don't screw with my mind! You've got to swear to me you won't compel me.”

  “I confess, I had no intentions of... touching you when I came here. Your emotions affect me, even the remnants of them, like a fire that's died out but still gives heat. I did not expect it and was unprepared. I shall be more guarded next time. This does neither of us any good.” He sounded almost sheepish, which was so incongruous to his ruler-of-the-world persona that she didn't know whether to believe him or not.

  “and?”

  “And...what?”

  Furious, the words were loud, “You won't mess with my mind?”

  Lucas looked very smug, a slight smile on his lips. “Ah, Valerie. I did nothing to you, I swear.”

  Her mouth fell open, gaping fish-style. He’s serious! “Wel
l, it's because you're a vampire then, right?”

  His eyes narrowed. “What are we discussing?”

  How mortifying! He wanted her to say it. Didn't you make me act like a nympho using your vampire wiles?!?

  Well, she wouldn't start keeping her mouth shut now! “Look, buddy. That ain't natural. You don't just touch someone and have them... combust unless there is some kind of supernatural mojo going on.”

  “In what way does the answer matter? If it's because I am a vampire, you are still affected. If not, then perhaps that's even more worrying for you? Do you want to know?”

  Okay, maybe she didn't. This was all too confusing. “Just let me get dressed! Why don’t you go find a Starbucks or something.”

  Twenty minutes later, Val was dressed and in the kitchen, eating her bowl of cereal while reading about Prince Harry in Hello Magazine.

  A pale hand dropped a white bag in front of her.

  Val froze, the spoon halfway to her mouth. She forced herself to keep eating, chewing her granola, even though it tasted like sawdust. Or Weetabix— both were bad.

  “If I open this bag will I find a human heart?” Val couldn't believe she'd said that. Was it a joke?

  “I paid for a croissant. If it is a human heart I shall be quite put out. And you would need to share.”

  Val leaned back in her chair, disbelief in her voice. “Really? You paid for this?”

  He shrugged.

  Maybe, maybe not, the gesture said. She could not imagine this... manpire standing in line for anything.

  Whatever.

  “Why did your Hunter get killed? Gilbert Arthur.”

  “I am not entirely sure.”

  That was rich. “Really? My guess is that you either murdered him, someone else murdered him to send you a message- not comforting by the way- or he got himself killed chasing down a vampire. So what was it?”

  “I didn't kill him. His remains were found in a burned out warehouse in Melbourne. Everything was gone. I don't know why he was there or if another killed him. I couldn't sense anything. There was too much...” he seemed to be looking for the right word, “char.”

  “That's pretty unfortunate. Sounds like a message to me.”

  He waited.

  Exasperated, she explained. “It doesn't make sense for a vampire to burn the place down if Gilbert was already dead, unless they didn't want you to know who did it. It's like, overkill.” His gaze flicked to the door and one of the boys from down the hall, who was coming towards the kitchen, turned around and went back to his room.

  Now that’s a handy trick.

  “Gilbert Arthur was under my protection. Whoever killed him would not want me to know they had done it. I would have avenged him.”

  Val gave him a sarcastic smile. “That's sweet. I’m sure he’d give you a big high five of thanks if he weren’t dead. So whoever did it knows you can't trace a smell if it's been burned badly enough. What other weaknesses do you have?”

  A long pause. “empaths.”

  “What's an empath?” Val looked at her cereal then pushed it away. She couldn’t eat with this guy sitting across from her.

  “One of the Other kind that has been long gone. Vampires can feel things to a certain extent, but it fades over time, especially positive emotions. The older a vampire gets the more they are drawn to slaughter because they are emotions that can still be felt. But an empath can convey emotions to a vampire. Evoke, even restore... everything.” His tone was carefully neutral.

  “But you killed them all? And I thought people were trigger happy. You think that if vampires could feel positive emotions, they wouldn't kill?” Val admitted to herself that the idea was intriguing, but she couldn't believe that vampires were anything other than murderers. They survived by eating people, for God's sakes.

  “It is in our nature to hunt humans. But we do not need so much blood as would kill a person to survive. That's simply gluttony. Look at Marion, for example. When she was human, she was a mother. Now she takes children for companions, but it is a habit. She no longer loves them, they do not make her feel love or affection and so she discards them. Always looking for something long gone. Once upon a time, she was kind to her companions.”

  “So now that she's crossed a line, she can be killed? Marion was still, is still, feeding on children. That's not love, that's sick.”

  “I do not know. I have lived a very long time. Most children, if they survived birth and were not instantly killed by their parents, died young. They died from disease and famine, simple cruelty. If they had a family they would be fortunate if they were raised by their own mothers. Mortality rate for a woman dying in childbirth was very high. Domestic violence did not exist, it was life. Often I am surprised people have thrived at all. But now we live in a time where all life is thought to be valuable.”

  “So you let her eat and kill children because it was better than death?” This was too weird, too ruthless. “What do you want?” Val looked down the hallway and saw Ian heading towards the shower, a towel around his waist. Her heart started thundering and Lucas turned his head towards Ian, like a wolf who'd scented a hare.

  She reached out and grabbed his hand to keep him at the table. Lucas was ice cold, his hand marble again. He closed his eyes and then his hand became warm and soft.

  “Why don't you just keep yourself warm all the time?” She was trying to distract him.

  “It takes an inordinate amount of energy to maintain. Also, it is daylight and I have already dematerialized twice today.” He turned his head back towards her. “I am not limitless.” The words were just above a whisper, his face close to hers. The comment made her stomach clench, like fingers were sliding along the walls of her stomach. An image came to her of him being totally sated, so used and exhausted he could barely move.

  His head tilted to the side like he could hear her thoughts, eyebrows raised slightly as though he was surprised by her. Valerie blushed and looked away while Lucas smiled at her slowly. Expensively.

  “He loves you.”

  She pulled her hand back.

  “Who?” It was defensive.

  “The young man you gave yourself too. He cares for your happiness.”

  She nodded.

  “You believe Jack would have been gentle too?”

  Her voice was a whisper, she was petrified now. “What?”

  “You believe Jack could contain his rage and lust, so that he could have lain with you purely?”

  Did he really expect her to answer?

  “Perhaps you have more faith in him than you should.”

  She reached her hand out again but he was ready, her fingers met his warm palm as he turned his hand to lie face up on the table. The warmth of his hand was like a caress. “Please don't kill them. Please,” Val couldn't keep the quaver from her voice.

  “I will not harm someone who only means you well.”

  Lucas was watching her intently. “Your thoughts radiate across your face.”

  She remembered what he'd told her. “That's right! And it makes me really boring, doesn’t it? Mr. Seen-it-all. Now, what do you want?” She took the bag off the table and opened it. The croissant was really flaky and butter had made grease stains on the inside of the bag. This was going to be a really good croissant. She took a bite. “This beats the ones at the train station.”

  He looked affronted. “Well, yes.”