Boy Tar
Page 21
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE.
ENTOMBED ALIVE.
I could now comprehend why the night had seemed so long. There had beenlight enough, but it reached me not. The great box had intercepted it.There had been day, and I knew it not. The men had been working by day,when I thought it was after midnight. Instead of a single night, atleast two nights and a day had passed since I crouched into myhiding-place. No wonder I had hungered, and was thirsty--no wonder Ifelt an aching in my bones. The short intervals of silence I hadobserved were the hours when the crew were at their meals. The longsilence that preceded the weighing of the anchor, had been the secondnight, when all were resting and asleep.
I have stated, that I fell asleep almost instantly after I had creptinto my lurking-place. It then still wanted several hours of sunset.My sleep had been sound and long, lasting, no doubt, till the followingmorning. But on the previous evening, the stowers had been at work--though I heard them not; and during my deep, unconscious slumber, thebox, and no doubt many others, had been placed before the aperture.
Every point was now clear to me, and clearer than all was the horrifyingfact, that I was "boxed up."
I did not at first comprehend the full horror of my situation. I knewthat I was shut in, and that no strength I could exert would be enoughto get me out; but for all that, I did not apprehend any greatdifficulty. The strong sailors, who had stowed the packages, couldremove them again; and I had only to shout and bring them to the spot.
Alas! alas! little did I think that the loudest shout I might raise,could not have been heard by human being. Little did I suspect, thatthe hatchway, through which I had descended to the hold, was now closedwith its strong hatches and these again covered with a thick tarpaulin--to remain so, perhaps, to the end of the voyage! Even had the hatchesnot been down, there would have been little chance of my being heard.The thick wall of bales and boxes would have intercepted my voice, or itmight have been drowned altogether by the hoarse and constant rushing ofthe waves, as they broke along the sides of the ship.
I say, that, on first discovering that I was closed in, my apprehensionswere but slight, I thought, only, that I should be delayed awhile fromgetting water, which I now longed for exceedingly. It would take sometime, no doubt, for the men to remove the boxes and relieve me; andmeanwhile I was in misery. These alone were the thoughts that troubledme.
It was only when I had screamed and shouted at the highest pitch of myvoice--after I had thundered upon the planks with the heels of myshoes--after I had repeated my cries again and again, and still heard noreply; it was only then, that I began to comprehend the true nature ofmy situation. Then, indeed, did I perceive its full and perfect horror.Then, did the conviction burst upon me, that I had no prospect ofescape--no hope of being relieved; in short, that I was _entombedalive_!
I cried, I screamed, I shouted. Long and loudly I cried, but how long Icannot tell. I did not leave off till I was weak and hoarse.
At intervals I listened, but no response reached me--no sound of humanvoice. The echoes of my own reverberated along the sides of the ship,throughout the dark hold; but no voice responded to its lamentabletones.
I listened to discover whether I could not hear the voices of thesailors. I had heard them in their chorus, when they were weighinganchor, but then the ship was at rest, and the waves were not lashingher timbers. Moreover, as I afterwards learned, the hold hatches hadthen been up, and were only put down on our standing out to sea.
For a long while I listened, but neither command nor chorus reached myears. If I could not hear their loud baritone voices, how could theyhear mine?
"Oh! they cannot hear me! They will never hear me! They will nevercome to my rescue! Here I must die--I must die!"
Such was my conviction, after I had shouted myself hoarse and feeble.The sea-sickness had yielded for a time to the more powerful throes ofdespair; but the physical malady returned again, and, acting inconjunction with my mental misery, produced such agony as I never beforeendured. I yielded to it; my energies gave way, and I fell over likeone struck down by paralysis.
For a long while, I lay in a state of helpless stupor. I wished myselfdead, and indeed I thought I was going to die. I seriously believe,that at that moment I would have hastened the event if I could; but Iwas too weak to have killed myself, even had I been provided with aweapon. I _had_ a weapon, but I had forgotten all about it in theconfusion of my thoughts.
You will wonder at my making this confession--that I desired death; butyou would have to be placed in a situation similar to that I was in, tobe able to realise the horror of despair. Oh, it is a fearful thing!May you never experience it!
I fancied I was going to die, but I _did not_. Men do not die eitherfrom sea-sickness or despair, nor boys either. Life is not so easilylaid down.
I certainly was more than half dead, however; and I think for a goodwhile insensible. I was in a stupor for a long time--for many hours.
At length my consciousness began to return, and along with it a portionof my energies. Strange enough, too, I felt my appetite reviving; for,in this respect, the "sea-sickness" is somewhat peculiar. Patients,under it, often eat more heartily than at other times. With me,however, the appetite of thirst was now far stronger than that ofhunger, and its misery was not allayed by any hope of its beingappeased. As for the other, I could still relieve it; some morsels werein my pocket.
I need not recount the many fearful reflections that passed through mymind. For hours after, I was the victim of many a terrible paroxysm ofdespair. For hours I lay, or rather tossed about, in a state ofconfused thought; but at last, to my relief, I fell asleep.
I fell asleep, for I had now been a long time awake, and this, with theprostration of my strength from mental suffering, had at length deadenedthe nerve of pain; so that, despite all my misery, I fell asleep.