Rewind

by H. M. Montes

  “Who in the hell are you? Get out of this room, call the god damn cops I’m being held here against my will!” My grandpa shouted at me and threw a phone book at me.

  My heart sank, “Gramps…”

  “GRAMPS? WHO ARE YOU?” he screamed and looked for something else to throw at me.

  Then grandpa sat down on the bed, placed his hands over his face and started to cry. His shoulders shook as he lifted his head and looked at the empty bed that grandma had once occupied. “That woman, was my wife, I know that much.” I walked over and sat down beside him. He turned his head and looked at me with tears filling his eyes, “I’m sorry, I can’t remember who you are.”

  “I’m your grandson, Cade.” I stuck my hand out for him to shake.

  He shook his head and laughed through a sob, “You get your good looks from me, you have the same green eyes as she did.” He looked over at the empty bed. “Last night she went to bed earlier than usual, this morning she looked like an angel sleeping across from me.”

  I stayed for most of the day, part of me was hoping that Grandpa would finally remember me, but, he never did. Each time he asked me who I was I had to tell him again. When he laid down on the bed he looked at me and apologized again before drifting off to sleep. I visited with the nurses and doctors for about another hour. We decided it would be best if grandpa stayed there so that his routine wasn’t disturbed, causing any confusion would make things harder on him. I got back to the house and found the last known phone number for my mom. When I called the number it had been disconnected, I had no way of telling her that her own mother had passed away and that her dad wasn’t doing very good. I went into their bedroom and found the fireproof safe that they had told me contained their Wills and other valuable items so I could take them to the attorney.

  Sydney had tried calling and texting me the following days but I couldn’t talk to her. I didn’t want her to see how broken I was, but losing my grandma and seeing grandpa in such a bad state of mind was taking its toll on me. To pass the time I put the parts on her car took it to her parent’s house and had another club member give me a ride back to my house. I was sweeping the shop when my phone rang with a call from Belle. I hadn’t talked to her since the night she left, the night that I spent with Sydney in my arms.

  “Yeah?” I answered.

  She was sobbing, “Cade, I miscarried.”

  Silence filled the line, “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.

  “I need to see you.” She sniffled.

  I blew out a breath, I cared for her at one point in time, not like I cared about Sydney though. Her cheating on me and actually getting pregnant had pretty much wiped away anything I had ever felt for her though.

  “Cade, are you there?” she sniffled again.

  “Yeah, I uh…I’ve got some things to take care of this week, maybe next week some time.”

  “Oh, okay. Are you still with Sydney?”

  I groaned with frustration, “No Belle I’m not. I’ve gotta go.”

  “Okay, I’ll call you next week.”

  “Later.” I said and hung up.

  A text came through right after that from Sydney;

  Sydney: Thank you

  I stared at her name, I wanted to call her and tell her we needed to talk. That for some reason I couldn’t get her out of my mind. That I loved her. I braced myself against the work bench, “FUCK!” I roared with frustration. How could I love a woman that clearly didn’t feel the same way I feel for her.

  That Thursday I went back to see my grandpa since he wasn’t going to be able to come to the service at the funeral home for grandma. As expected he didn’t know who I was so I didn’t stay long. The service was short, with a few of grandma’s friends in attendance that followed the hearse and me to the cemetery. They each placed a rose on her pearl white casket before it was lowered, each squeeze of their hand on my shoulder and their words of sympathy started to make me numb.

  I was getting ready to leave when Bryan called, “Hey I need you to go with me we think Ronnie is staying in the next town over. His construction company is named “Dig and Build” how fucking original.”

  “Can you get somebody else to go?” I asked. I knew that if I went and actually found the piece of shit, I would kill him. I would put a bullet between his eyes.

  “Prez specifically asked for you to go with me.”

  “I just got done burying my grandmother and now I have to go deal with that asshole?”

  The line went silent, “Christ man, why didn’t you fucking call?”

  “Been busy.” I said.

  “I’ll call Prez and let him know. You doing okay?”

  I laughed, “I’ll be fine, don’t tell Lucifer about it I’ll meet you in town.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” We hung up.

  I met him at the city limit and rode beside him for thirty minutes until we pulled into the city of Franklin. We stopped to top off our fuel tanks at a gas station.

  “This is going to be like finding a god damn needle in a hay stack.”

  “Did Lucifer say where he was working?” I asked. The city was huge, finding him wasn’t going to be easy.

  “He was seen at the hospital, maybe putting a bid in for the renovation they are going to be doing.”

  So we drove through the city and past the hospital, I spotted his pickup right away in a hotel parking lot. I pointed it out to Bryan, so we weaved through the traffic and pulled into the hospital parking lot and shut our bikes off. I looked around at the vehicles, there sat Belle’s Jeep. She must have been working the night shift for this hospital.

  “Let’s hurry the fuck up I don’t need Belle coming out for break and finding me here.”

  Bryan nodded as we crossed the busy road and walked up to Ronnie’s pickup. We could have went inside and tried to get a room number from the desk clerk but Bryan had other plans. When we left Ronnie’s pickup was down four tires and two mirrors with a note scratched into the glass of his front windshield…Karma.

  “Really you dragged me out here to stab a couple of tires and etch one word in glass?” I snapped at Bryan.

  “Hey man, you know as well as I do you see the motherfucker and you’ll kill him with the fucking nine you have strapped around your leg.”

  “So?”

  Bryan shook his head and laughed, “I’m not Betty Crocker, you don’t want me baking you cookies and bringing them to you on visitation day. I don’t think orange would look good on you either, it might make your ink look kind of washed out.”

  I flipped him off, put my helmet on and started my bike. Bryan laughed as we pulled out of the parking lot and opened our throttles, the loud roar of our pipes echoing off of the business’s.”

  “You sure you don’t want to go have a beer and talk?” Bryan asked when we got back to the city limits and shut our bikes off.

  “Nah, not tonight, I want to go home and fucking sleep. I’ll get ahold of you next week for a cold one.”

  “I’m here for you brother. I know how important she was to you.”

  I nodded my head, started my bike and turned the opposite direction as him.

  When I got home I went upstairs and straight for the bathroom so I could shower. Visions of Sydney in here scared and shaking filled my mind, memories of that one night. Her soft tan skin prickling with goose bumps as I ran my hands over it, her soft lips parted slightly as she moaned my name when I kissed her nipples. My cock throbbed so I took it in hand, her soft voice, her moans, her kiss. The feel of her body shuddering underneath mine each time she would come when I hit her sweet spot. My balls tightened, my knees almost buckled as ribbons of come erupted from my cock. I squeezed my cock dry of come. “God fucking DAMNIT!” I yelled inside the glass enclosure and punched the tiled wall, the crack against my knuckles did nothing. I knew that I needed to talk to her but first I had to get myself in check so I didn’t act like a caveman.

  After rinsing off I got out of the showe
r and dried off, I laid in bed naked as I thought about Sydney. I started second guessing everything, Was I good enough for her? Fuck no. She deserved a man that didn’t come with such a fucked up background. Nothing about me was good enough for her, I was self-employed although I made damn good money, it wasn’t it good enough for her… she deserved somebody better. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to stay in this house. Too many memories lived here, I needed to leave and get a fresh start.

  The next day I called the retirement home to check on grandpa, they said he was doing better but his memory wasn’t. He was showing more violence towards the staff and his medication had to be adjusted to hopefully improve his mood.

  The rest of the day I worked on a chopper for a client that Lucifer had sent to me, the engine was shot so I called the guy and gave him the bad news. “Order another one boy and put your special touch on it.” He told me and gave me his credit card information. Most people think that motor cycle clubs are made up of jobless, hell raising, trouble making bearded assholes. That couldn’t be any further from the truth, we all worked. Hell, a majority of the guys in the club were wealthy bankers, lawyers and most all of us had families, but we all took an oath that when we were needed we would help each other out. “Brotherhood,” it had saved my ass from turning into a complete failure in life. My cell phone rang from over on the work bench, Belle was calling—again.

  “Hello?”

  “I was on my way back to town, are you home?”

  “Uh huh why?”

  “I’m pulling in your driveway right now.” She said with a happy tone. I locked up the shop and walked over to the garage that had all my workout equipment in it so I could lock it up but instead I went inside so we could talk in there. I knew she wouldn’t be leaving any time soon unless I forced her to.

  “There you are.” She beamed with a smile and ran towards me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Right, so … are you feeling okay?”

  I sat down on the weight bench seat, she walked over to me and stood between my knees, “Better.” She smiled down at me and ran her hand across my head. I had cut most of my hair off into a short military style haircut. “You look amazing. I like the cut.” She said.

  “Belle, why are you here?”

  She leaned down and kissed me, “Because I miss you, I want you to make me feel good again. You’re the only one that can do that Cade.”

  “So you’re here to get laid?”

  She shook her head, “I’ve missed you Cade, the sex is a bonus though. I want to try and work things out.”

  I looked up at her, “You think it’s that easy huh?”

  She placed her finger against my lips, “Let me show you.” She pealed her shirt off, unclasped her bra and tossed it on top of her shirt. Next her short jean shorts and panties were in the pile then she knelt down between my legs and made quick work of unbuttoning my pants and taking the zipper down with her teeth. I should have stopped her but part of me needed this, I need to fuck off some of my frustration.

  Belle’s lips around my cock, my hands fisting in her hair pushing my cock deeper into her throat until she gagged. This would be the release I need.

  I grabbed my jeans off the floor and pulled a condom out of my wallet, Belle smiled as she straddled me on the bench. She grabbed my hands and moved them along her skin, skin that wasn’t as soft and tan as Sydney’s. Tit’s that weren’t as beautiful and full as Sydney, moans and screams that weren’t as sweet as Sydney. I opened my eyes, the smile on Belle’s face showed she was about to come. I closed my eyes again, picturing Sydney it was like I could feel her there but it wasn’t her. I grunted and pulled down hard on Belle’s hips as I filled the condom.

  The sound of gravel spinning at the end of my driveway made me about throw Belle on to the floor. She was grabbing her clothes and putting them back on, “Your friend was just here.” She said flatly.

  I spun around as I pulled my jeans up and buttoned them, “Who?”

  “Sydney,” she nodded towards the door that was standing wide open, “She might have gotten the hint that time.” Her smiled spread wide on her face.

  I fucking lost it, “GET THE FUCK OUT!” I roared in her face and pointed at the door, “Don’t fucking come back here again, lose my god damn number and forget you even know me.” My voice shook with anger and my blood thundered in my ears.

  “Don’t you think she’s a little too young for you Cade? I mean what is she nineteen or twenty and your twenty five.”

  In two strides I was in her face, “Shut.the.fuck.up. That woman is the one I love. Not you, why don’t you go find your little boy toy and make more babies.”

  Belle gasped and tears filled her eyes, “Fuck you Cade, you don’t even know the whole story.”

  “Oh I know more than you fucking think I do.”

  “I’ve heard she’s nothing but drama, typical college aged kid. You don’t know as much about her as you think you do.” She said with her hands on her hips.

  “And you do?” I asked with a laugh.

  “More than you think.” She argued back.

  “How so?”

  Belle wouldn’t look at me anymore, she would look at the floor, over my shoulder, then at the floor again, “I um, I met her ex-boyfriend who she dated in college.”

  My eyes must have got the size of half dollars, “Is that who you were knocked up by?”

  She nodded her head, “He came into the bar and we just kind of clicked,” Belle shrugged a shoulder, “He’s devastated that I miscarried too.”

  I laughed, full on laughed, “Go back and tell Ronnie that it’s going to cost him at least eight hundred for new tires and I’m guessing a new windshield will be another few hundred, mirrors he can get from a salvage yard.”

  Belle started to say something, “I think you better leave before I do something I’ll regret to you.” I had never ever put my hands on a woman and wasn’t about to. She was testing my last bit of patience by trying to fight me

  “You…you.” She was trying to twist back around and get in my face.

  I pushed her towards the door all the way to her Jeep. “Karma’s a mother fucker Belle.” I slammed her Jeep door and walked into the house. Gravel hit my pickup as she spun her tires leaving. I bounded upstairs to wash her scent off of me, then I was going to go find Sydney and talk to her.

  As I was getting dressed my phone rang, I rolled my eyes and answered it without even looking at the caller ID.

  “What?”

  “Cade McAllister?” A woman’s voice said.

  I pulled the phone away and looked at the screen, the retirement home name was on the ID. “Yeah?”

  She took in a deep breath, “We need you to come in.”

  I hung up before she could say anymore.

  I stood at the door of his room, “I’m so sorry Cade.” The lead nurse said with tears in her eyes.

  Grandpa had passed away from a massive heart attack not even one week after Grandma. The nurse was telling me how they tried CPR and had exhausted every option but with Grandpa having a Living Will they couldn’t have him put on a machine. Her voice faded as the numbness started to return. I walked into his room, there he laid on the bed, lifeless but peaceful. I knelt down on the floor beside his bed and started to weep. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, the last blood relative I had was gone. The man that taught me about life, women, motorcycles, baseball, everything…was gone.

  One month, one entire month had went by with no call, text, or word of any kind from Cade. Bryan was tight lipped about him and what he had been up to, I tried to get info out of Theresa but she said she didn’t know any more than I did about him. I believed her, the brotherhood of the MC meant just that, it was the ‘Bro Code’ times ten. So the two topics that were off limits, Ronnie and Cade. If anybody brought them up I would simply walk away.

  “Sooo, you and Trevor huh?” Theresa nudged me with her shoulder as I set the security code to the gym.


  “It’s just a date.” I told her and pushed her out the doors before the timer could set the alarms off.

  She laughed, “It’s the second date!”

  “Technically it’s the first date, I hardly call visiting at the grocery store then barbequing chicken for supper a date.”

  She waved a hand, “Sure it is. So after you guys finish at the restaurant come to the bar and hang out.”

  “We’ll see, I don’t know if he’s into the whole bar scene.”

  “I want details tomorrow if you don’t show up at the bar.” She pulled me into a hug, “You deserve this Syd. He’s a great guy, I can tell by the way he looks at you that he’s got only eyes for you.”

  “God it’s just a date.” I laughed and pulled away.

  All the way to her car Theresa laughed, “Get’cha some girlfriend!” she waved then ducked inside of her car and drove away.

  Trevor Harrison was the local high school football coach, we met when Theresa, Ryan and me were at the football field with the cheer squad practicing their routine. He stood right about six foot tall, had unruly blonde hair and the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. After that day he became a regular at the fitness center. We bumped into each other at the grocery store one evening and decided to make supper at his place. Surprisingly he lived only a few blocks away from me, but somehow we had never seen each other until that day at the high school football field. I hesitated to go out with him since he was a client but Ryan had told me I needed to relax and just go with what felt right, so here I am sitting across from Trevor at the restaurant. A candle flickering inside of a red vase making his eyes sparkle.

  “You look absolutely beautiful in that dress. In case I haven’t already told you that.” He smiled and stroked his thumb across the top of my hand.

  I wore a black tube dress with a pair of mile high heels, it wasn’t very often I got to dress up but tonight was the perfect occasion. “Thank you, you look great too.” I said with a smile.

  Our conversation flowed easy, he talked about college days, I did but I left out the hell that I went through with Ronnie. I still caught myself looking at everybody in case he was stalking me again. “You okay?” Trevor asked, “You scoping the place out to run from me or what?”