“No, Siri, no,” I pout. What have I done? I’m mortified.
I instantly turn my phone off and throw it away as though I can pretend it didn’t happen. Oh god, this is so embarrassing. I need to turn off all the lights, shut the blinds, lock the doors, and climb under the blankets while my life comes to an end.
I’m in the middle of drowning in my own self-torture when the door opens.
Oh no.
I close my eyes in mortification as Luke steps through the door with a grin. He holds his phone up and I know he’s about to say something moronic and equally as painful when he gets a look around the room. “Holy shit,” he laughs as a wolfish grin takes over his handsome face. “This is brilliant. I didn’t think it’d work this well.”
I glare at him with everything I’ve got. “You’re cleaning this shit up,” I tell him.
“Ha,” he scoffs. “Right.”
I fold my arms across my chest as my eyes narrow on him. “Is there something I can help you with?”
He wiggles his phone with a teasing smirk. “I got your message,” he tells me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Uh huh,” he says as he walks forward. “You wanted me to come around?”
“Nope.”
He walks right up in front of me and places his hands on each of the arm rests of my chair before leaning into me. “You’re a liar,” he says before ducking his head and pressing his lips to mine.
Holy shit this is good.
I can’t help but kiss him back. His lips are like my kryptonite. They're intoxicating and incredibly delicious. A moan slips out of me and I hate myself for being so obvious. He pulls back slightly and looks across at my drip. “Are you good here? Do you need anything.”
Shit. My heart melts. “I’m good,” I tell him as his fingers find the bandages on my knees and elbows from where I crawled out of the bathroom. His eyebrows furrow and I absolutely hate the look of concern that crosses his face.
“Does it hurt?” he asks.
I shake my head as his eyes bore into mine in the most intense stare off I’ve ever experienced. “No,” I murmur.
“Good,” he says. “Did you enjoy my shower?”
At that, a grin of my own rips across my face. “Uh huh,” I say. “I had a pretty good sandwich too.”
“I noticed. You left a mess behind.”
“Shit, really? I didn’t notice.”
He pushes back off my chair but doesn’t take his eyes from mine, holding me hostage within his deep eyes. “You’re a smartass,” he chuckles.
I shrug my shoulders. I’m not about to deny it.
He shakes his head in exasperation before finally releasing his hold on me. He takes himself for a walk down my hallway and checks out the progress I’ve made on the house.
“What the fuck happened to your bathroom?” he calls through the house.
I grin as I picture what it must look like to him. “We had a bit of a disagreement,” I tell him.
“Shit,” he laughs. “This is more than a disagreement.”
A moment later, I hear a loud bang followed by a little bit of grunting before he walks back down the hallway holding the bath. Luke passes straight by me and out the front door. I watch through the open doorway as he dumps the bath in the dumpster, dusts off his hands and makes his way back in.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I tell him as he leans up against my kitchen counter.
“Yeah, I did,” he says with a scoff just as my drip finishes. I go about pulling it out as he watches with curiosity. I usually get funny when people I don’t really know watch me do this, but for some reason, I feel more than comfortable with Luke.
“Come on,” he says the second I put it all away.
“Huh?” I grunt as I stop and turn towards him.
“You’re coming to my place,” he tells me. “You have a mess to clean up in my kitchen and then I’m making you dinner.”
“Ok,” I smile as I step into his personal space and smile up at him. “As soon as you clean up your mess.”
He scoffs as a smirk crosses his handsome face. His hands find my waist and he pulls me into him. “This isn’t my mess,” he tells me. “You’re the one who turned on the fan. It’s not my fault your extremely unobservant.”
I can’t help but laugh. “You’re such a jerk,” I tell him.
He kisses me once again before pulling back. “Fine,” he groans. “But you’re helping. This place is a fucking disaster.”
An hour later, my house is spotless, though I’m sure I’ll be finding flour in every nook and cranny until I finally sell this place. I stand in his kitchen, wiping up the mess from my sandwich as he gets busy cooking dinner.
Once again, he manages to blow me away with his cooking skills as he makes me some sort of chicken dish that I can’t even pronounce.
We sit down together and he drills me with every question under the sun. From what my childhood was like, to the breakdown of my marriage.
After dinner, I clear my plate away and go to leave, only he catches my wrist in his big hand. “Where do you think you’re going?” he questions.
I stop and look back at him before he pulls me into him for the second time today. “Home,” I tell him.
His hand comes up and he runs his fingertips down the side of my face. My body instantly reacts to the touch and I find my chin tilting up to him. “No,” he tells me. “You’re staying here tonight.”
His lips come down on mine, but this time, his kiss is different from the ones I’ve already experienced. It’s not a needy, sudden urge. It’s two people giving in to their desires. It’s almost like it’s the start of something. And from the way he looks at me as though I have all the answers, I feel that whatever this is, it could be something huge.
He leans down and scoops my legs under his arms so he holds me close to him. He walks down the hallway and into the bedroom before showing me, again, just how good it can be.
Chapter 16
Luke
The sun is barely out when I get in my truck. I’ve got a long drive ahead of me, and if I expect to be home at a decent hour tonight, then I need to get going.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the message I received from Sharpy a few days ago. To hear that Ben isn’t doing so great kills me. I was hoping he’d be coping a bit better than I was. He’s just a kid and has his whole life ahead of him.
After a four-hour drive, I pull up at the suburban home and let out a breath. I don’t know what I’m going to see when I walk through that door, but something tells me it’s going to be one of the hardest things I’ll ever do.
I lock up my truck and walk up the path to the front door. The closer I get to the door, the more the dread settles in my stomach.
I raise my fist and knock before taking a step back to wait.
A small brunette lady with Ben’s eyes answers the door and it’s immediately clear this is his mom. She looks exhausted and I don’t doubt this has something to do with Ben. “Oh,” she says, pleasantly surprised, “I know a soldier when I see one.”
“Yes ma'am,” I reply. “I'm Luke Hayes. I’m-”
She cuts me off as she comes crashing into me. Her arms fly around me and she holds me tight. “Yes, Luke. I know exactly who you are.”
The emotion is strong in her voice as I wrap my arms around the woman and give her what she needs. “Thank you so much for sticking by my boy,” she murmurs. “I could never begin to explain my gratitude. You saved his life, and for that, I will forever be in your debt. You brought my boy home to me.”
She pulls back but keeps her hands on my shoulders. There are tears in her eyes and it kills me to see. She’s a mom going through a hell of a lot, just like my mom is. My guess is that she’s been going through absolute hell as she tries to help her son get through the pain of Iraq.
The emotion is nearly too much for me to bear, so I press my lips together and try to move past it. “It’s all in a
day’s work,” I tell her.
She gives me a stern look and slightly tilts her head to the side. “You and I both know it's a lot more than that.”
I let out a small breath and nod. “Yes ma'am,” I agree. “Is he here?”
“Yes, darling,” she says with a sadness in her eyes. “He’s always here.”
I indicate inside. “May I?”
“Of course, dear,” she says, stepping back out of the doorway. “He’s right out back.”
She leads me inside and I follow her right down to the back door. She gestures out the window and I stop and watch him for a moment. The sight breaks my heart. He looks a mess, drinking bourbon straight from the bottle as though it’s water, and I realize this is going to be so much harder than I could have thought.
I look back at his mom. “I apologize for what's about to happen,” I tell her. “You may not want to witness this.”
She gazes out at her boy before turning back to me with a nod. “Do what you have to do,” she says. “He needs it. I don’t know how to help him anymore.”
“I hardly know how to help myself.”
She squeeze’s my shoulder and gives me an affectionate smile before sending me on my way.
I step through the back door and walk the few steps towards him. The smell of alcohol wafts off him and I cringe at what must be sitting in the bottom of his stomach.
“I thought I told you to leave me alone, mom,” he growls as he looks out at the yard, not bothering to raise his eyes.
I ignore his comment and walk straight up to him. He still doesn’t look up.
Ben lifts the bottle to his lips and my hand snakes out, stealing it straight out of his hands. He looks up in outrage and his eyes instantly go wide. “What the fuck?” he snarls in outrage.
I rear back and launch the bottle of bourbon across their large yard. It sails through the air and finally connects with a tree. The glass shatters and Ben watches in disbelief. “What was that for? I was drinking that.”
Ignoring him, I reach for the front of his shirt. I slam him up against the brick wall and for such a big man, he flops around like a rag doll. “What the fuck is your problem?” I spit.
“You're kidding right?” he scoffs as though he has a right to waste his life away.
“No, I'm not fucking kidding,” I tell him. “I didn't risk my life to save your stupid ass so you could come home and rot away. You’re better than this.”
He shakes his head and can hardly meet my eyes. “Leave me alone, man.”
“Yeah fucking right,” I demand. “I'm not going anywhere until you get yourself cleaned up. You're breaking your mother's heart.”
“What would you know?” he scoffs. “You have it fucking easy. I'm not like you.”
I slam him against the wall until his eyes focus back on me. “Don’t you dare feed me that bullshit. Not for one second have I thought it was easy. You’re a fucking soldier, just like me. Now pull it together. You've been given a second chance at life, and right now, you're throwing it away.”
He sets his face into a hard expression as if to tell me to fuck off, but he wouldn’t dare utter the words. Not after what we went through.
He lets out a pained sigh as his eyes search mine. “I can’t,” he says, saddened.
I instantly release my hold on his shirt and he slumps to the ground with his arms resting on his knees. “I can’t get the images out of my head. The second I close my eyes, I see it all. I can still smell it. I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm right back there.”
“You don’t think the same shit is happening to me?” I grunt. “It's only just starting to get better now.”
His eyes fly up to mine and he searches for some answers. “How?” he questions quietly.
“Well, for one, I'm not drowning myself in liquor,” I scoff.
He gives me a hard stare and I answer his question. “I talked to someone,” I tell him. “And the second I did, the weight instantly lifted. You should give it a try, it might help you too.”
“You mean a shrink?”
“Not necessarily,” I tell him. “You could talk to a shrink if you think it would help. I talked with my neighbor. Have you told anyone about it?”
“Nah,” he says with a shake of his head. “It’s none of their business.”
I glance back through the window to see his mom leaning against the kitchen counter sipping a cup of tea. “I think you should talk with your mom,” I tell him. “She loves you and it’s clear she just wants the best for you. It'll be the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it will help.”
He continues shaking his head, and I see the same hesitation within him that’s inside of me. He doesn’t want to burden her. “I can’t,” he says.
“She’s strong, Ben,” I tell him. “She can handle it.”
He lets out a sigh before looking back at his mom, and I see the utter need to release the weight off his shoulders. “Come on,” I say. “Let’s get you cleaned up and then I'll come with you.”
He’s silent for a while before finally giving in. He nods his head and I hold out a hand to help him up.
He wobbles on his feet and looks up at me. “Who told you?” he questions.
“Sharpy,” I murmur.
“Shit,” he sighs. “So, I should be expecting a visit from him too, then.”
“Yep,” I say.
I lead him back inside and watch as hope starts to rise within his mother’s eyes. I give her an encouraging nod before leading Ben upstairs. I get him into the bathroom and order him to empty the liquor out of his stomach to help sober him up. He resists throwing up until he realizes just how serious I am when I tell him that I'll do it for him. Two seconds later, I cringe as I hear his performance.
I throw him in a cool shower and then twenty minutes later, he looks like a presentable, clean, nineteen-year-old kid who's ready to put the past behind him and start fresh.
I take him downstairs and search out his mom. She sits in the living room and stands when she sees her son. Tears instantly spring to her eyes. “I'm sorry, mom,” Ben says. “I just... it's hard.”
“I know, son,” she says rushing to his side.
“I'll leave you guys to talk,” I tell them then see the panic in Ben's eyes. “I'll be out back if you need me.”
Ben nods and with that, I leave them to talk.
Sitting out the back, I text Lexi and check in on her day while I wait. I find myself grinning like an idiot as she sends me pictures of the bathroom she's still trying to demolish. Only there’s water covering the room and it's clear she's had some sort of mishap.
An hour later, the back door opens and Ben comes out with his mom. I get to my feet and turn towards them. Their eyes are both red-rimmed, and I can’t help but notice the way Ben seems to have relaxed just a tiny bit. He gives me a nod of thanks and I return it with one of my own.
Ben's mom steps forward and pulls me into a tight hug. She doesn't say a word, but she doesn’t have to. The meaning is as clear as day. We went through hell and back and now she knows every single detail. I brought her son back to her and I've just helped him to start his journey of healing. “He’ll be alright,” I murmur for only her to hear.
“He will be,” she agrees.
I pull out of her arms before looking at Ben. “I better head off,” I tell him. “I've got a bit of a drive ahead of me.”
He pulls me into his arms and claps me on the back. “Thanks,” he says so quietly I have to strain to hear it.
“No problem, man,” I say. “Just call if you need anything.”
“I will. Good luck with your gym.”
With that, I walk out the door, promising myself that I'll be a better friend and check in on him more often.
I really hope that talking about what he went through will be able to help him in the way it did for me. Otherwise, I'm out of ways to help. He’s a good kid and deserves a bright future, and there's no reason he shouldn't be able to get that.
It's
just past ten at night when I get home, and as usual, I cross over to Lexi’s door and double check that she's locked it before heading home and collapsing into my bed.
I find myself lying awake for a few hours, unable to dull my mind.
I wish I could have done more for him. I want to be able to take the pain away for him, but it’s the one thing I’ll never be able to do. He needs to learn how to let it go.
I’m lucky I have that little spitfire living next door, or I wouldn’t have been able to let go of it either. To be honest, I think I’m still learning how to do it. All I know is that every single day I see her, a little more of it fades away.
Shit, I need her. I’m very quickly realizing that I can’t get through the day without talking to her or seeing her.
With a huff, I throw the blankets off and head back out the front door. I lock it behind me before slipping across to Lexi’s.
Finding her spare key right under the welcome mat, I let myself in.
I walk down to her guest bedroom and find her tucked up in the bed. I watch her for just a moment before pulling the blanket back and sliding in beside her. She instantly snuggles into me and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her in tighter.
She lets out a moan and that sound is like music to my ears.
Within moments, I finally fall into a deep sleep.
Chapter 17
Lexi
I walk into Charli’s place with a massive grin on my face. The music is playing, the food is scattered over every tabletop, and the bottles of wine are chilling in the fridge.
It’s my kind of party. The perfect recipe for a great night.
It’s been another huge week of renovations and I’m more than happy to be here, letting loose with the girls… well, it was supposed to be all the girls until the boys showed up. So, I guess it’s one big party.
I don’t miss the way Luke’s eyes clock me the second he walks through the door. I also don’t complain when he falls into the couch beside me, instantly putting his arm over my shoulder and pulling me to him.
Every night this week he has snuck into my house after he’s finished work for the night. He climbs into bed with me and holds me throughout the night before showing me the meaning of life when we wake.
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