Unfaithful Ties

by Le'Shea, Nisha

  “Let me think about what you just asked me. You drove my car into the lake and my fiancé bought me a new one…soon you’ll be homeless and I live in this extravagant home. I left you and now I’m about to marry one sexy ass woman. I’d say that I’m definitely winning.”

  “You’re going to have to pay for your devilish ways one day. And when you do I hope God has mercy on your soul” Brandi said, “I hope you’re ready to pay child support because when I leave here I’m headed straight to child support services. You know what, I’m not going to make you take care of your children God is going to handle you ”

  She marched off of the porch and when she made it home she called Texas Electric and switched the power into her name then called her mother on three way so she could pay the deposit. The consultant explained that the power wouldn’t be restored until the following day so Mrs. Bette sent her a few hundred dollars through Western Union. After she picked up the money she pulled over into a parking space at the park and cried for hours.

  ****

  Another long exhausting day had flown by before she knew it and it was time for her to pick up Trent from daycare. As usual Trent fell asleep on the way home. The twins were sitting on the porch when she whipped the van in the driveway.

  “Mom what’s wrong with the electricity?” Trevon questioned as Brandi got out of the car.

  “Yeh nothing is working” Tremaine cosigned.

  “I can’t deal with questions right now” She said. “Just go in the house and grab some clothes for tomorrow. Make sure you get your toothbrush because we want be staying here tonight.”

  “Where are we going?” Trevon wanted to know.

  “Just do as I say and don’t ask questions” She told him pushing the front door open.

  She grabbed some clothes for Trent and herself and told the boys that she’d be waiting outside. That night she and her children stayed the night at a cheap hotel.

  chapter 23

  Jason & Vanessa...NYC, New York

  “Look at us.” Jason smiled. “This was the day I married my best friend. The happiest day of my life” He and Vanessa were sitting closely on the love seat in their Living Room flipping through the pages of an old photo album. “Do you remember anything about this day?”

  “No. I don’t” Vanessa said uncaringly.

  “I’m sure if we keep looking you’ll start to remember at least bits and pieces of our past” He assured her and flipped the page. He chuckled. “This was us right after we graduated college. What in the world did I…”

  “I don’t remember any of this” Vanessa interjected and got up and headed to the kitchen. “And I’m sick of trying to remember”

  Jason ran after her. “Baby, don’t worry your memory will come back”

  She grabbed a glass out of the cabinet. “There are no guarantees. So let’s just drop the subject okay.”

  Jason inched closer to Vanessa and laid his hands on her shoulders. She was standing in front of the kitchen sink, filling the glass with tap water. “Sweetness I’m sorry. I just want to help. I’m not trying to upset you”

  She shrugged away.

  “Am I doing something wrong? You seem really upset”

  “It’s everything Jason. I feel like you’re trying to force memories that are just not there. I don’t remember a damn thing. Looking at pictures isn’t helping. Nothing is helping. I feel like I’m looking at photos of someone else’s life. It just makes me feel worse. So just stop. Stop everything, okay?”

  “Sweetness I’m sorry. I’m just trying to help.”

  Vanessa sipped from the glass. “By doing what? Inviting our friends along with their personal issues and unstable lives to our home a week after I’m released from the hospital?” She snapped sketching her face with a plastered smile “Good job”

  “I thought a visit from our friends would help you, that’s all” Jason snapped back. “Forgive me for trying.”

  “The only person you’re trying to help is yourself. You want my memory to suddenly reappear so that you can get back to your normal life and not have to babysit me.” She set the glass on the table and flopped down into the chair. “I wish I would have just died in that accident.”

  “How can you say that? I hate the thought of losing you. I have no life without you. I was miserable when I didn’t know whether or not you’d survive. When I thought that I would get a phone call from some doctor saying that you’d died. I want your memory to come back because I love you. Don’t you see how much I need you?”

  “Jason my life is spiraling out of control. Why do you want me like this? I have no memories of our married life together.. I don’t know what I like to do for fun. I have a career that I’m probably never going to be able to return to. Who wants to be taught by woman that doesn’t remember important details of her own life. I’m ugly now. One side of my head is shaved, and it’s probably not going to grow back. I have permanent scars that are visible”

  “Baby you’ve always been beautiful to me. A few scars and little less hair can’t change that.”

  “Stop it. Just stop it. You say all the right things. I know that you don’t mean it. You can’t possibly mean any of it. You don’t love me. I don’t even love me right now” She cried and crossed her arms across the table then buried her head on top of them. “I just want to be left alone”

  “Sweetness”

  “Go”

  “Baby I think you just need to…”

  “Now” She screamed.

  “Vanessa you’re not the only one whose life has changed. My life has changed too okay.” Jason roared. “I’m doing all I can to make you remember our life together and it just seems like you don’t want to remember it. I’m sorry that you feel like I’m trying to force you to remember our past but I’m not. I don’t know what else to do. I just want my wife back” He explained.

  Vanessa lifted her head. “And what if you never get your wife back? What if my memory never comes back?”

  Tears glided down her face.

  Jason sat down at the table. “Sweetness when I married you. I vowed for better or for worse. Through thick and thin till death do us part and I meant every word. Even if your memory doesn’t come back I’m still your husband and I’m here for the long haul.”

  “Jason just go okay! Just go away! I want to be alone right now. So just go.” She screamed.

  He slowly pulled himself up from the table, kneeled down and kissed her shoulder. “I’ll give you time if that’s what you need” He said. “I’m going to go shoot some hoops. I love you Sweetness” And he left her sitting there, alone.

  ****

  Jason grabbed the black gym bag from the empty seat beside him and hopped out of his SUV, feeling like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Carrying the bag low, he trekked exhaustively towards the doors of the Recreational Center. Hopefully, a little exercise would smooth his frustration.

  A young man headed in his direction as he set his gym bag on the bleacher. “What’s up man?” He smiled, extending his hand. “I’m Deon”

  Jason shook his hand firmly. “Jason”

  “Listen man, we’re short a guy. Want to shoot some hoops?”

  “Yeah, I hope you young guys can ball. I’m from the ol’ school”

  “Well let’s see what you got”

  Jason’s lips curled into a smile as he kneeled to tie his shoelaces. “Alright let’s go” He insisted, getting from the floor.

  “This is the first time I’ve seen you around here” Deon said as the two of them headed towards the court.

  “I don’t get out that often”

  A few other guys were stretching when they approached the center of the floor. They quickly huddled. “This is ahh?” Deon said, looking back at Jason.

  “Jason”

  “He’s going to play with us today” He smiled. “Don’t hurt him too bad he claims he’s from the ol’ school”

  They all laughed. “I’ll try to remember that” A ta
ll slender young man blurted out.

  “Let’s ball” Deon declared taking the ball out....

  ****

  “That was a good game man”

  “Yeah I needed that.” Jason said, stretching. “I’m going to pay for it in the morning though” He chuckled. “My bones are getting old.”

  Deon giggled. “Alright. I’m out of here. It was good meeting you”

  “Good meeting you too young fella.” Jason said, and they slapped their hands together. “I think I’m going to start coming here more often.”

  “Cool. We’re here every Tuesday” He assured Jason and walked away.

  It wasn’t until Jason heard something vibrating that he noticed Deon had forgotten his phone. He grabbed the phone from the bleacher and sprinted out of the gym. Deon was clear out of site. He put the phone in his pocket and made a mental note to return it to him the next day.

  Driving, he pulled his cellular out of his pocket. He didn’t remember changing the picture of Vanessa that was now on his screen saver. In fact, it was the first time he’d ever saw the picture. His mind had to be playing tricks on him. He pulled the other mobile from his pocket. Weaving and wobbling down the street, he compared the two iPhones, nearly running off the road. Why did that kid at the gym have his wife’s picture saved as his screensaver?

  He Pulled into his garage, barely put the gear in the park and got out.

  “Vanessa” He shouted, walking through the front door of his home. The television in the family room was powered on, but she wasn’t sitting in front of it.

  “Vanessa” He shouted again, growing angrier as he jogged up the stairs and headed towards their bedroom. She wasn’t there either.

  After he’d scanned their entire house screaming Vanessa’s name he realized she wasn’t home. Where? He didn’t know.

  He needed answers. Was Trae telling him the truth? Was Vanessa having an affair? He didn’t know but he was going to find out. He walked into Vanessa’s office, logged onto her laptop and hacked into her Facebook account.

  Conversation started September 20, 2009

  Deon Hart 12:26am

  Didn’t want to text you on your cell.

  Can you get out tonight? I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!...!!!!!!

  Vanessa Duncan 12:31am

  As much as I would love to be in your

  arms right now. I can’t get out tonight.

  Maybe tomorrow?

  Deon Hart 12:32am

   Sad!

  November 01, 2009

  Vanessa Duncan 12:00am

  What are you still doing up?

  Deon Hart 12:01am

  I was actually sitting up thinking about you

  Vanessa Duncan 12:01am

  Oh really!!!!!!!

  How about I come over? I could

  be back before he even realizes

  that I’m gone.

  Deon Hart 12:02am

  I’m waiting! Go ahead and take

  Off your panties...no need to waste

  Unnecessary time.

  November 05, 2009

  Deon Hart 7:00am

  Good morning Beautiful

  Vanessa Duncan 7:01am

  Hey sexy!

  Deon Hart 7:02am

  Can we do lunch today?

  Vanessa Duncan 7:03am

  Sure what do you have a taste for?

  Deon Hart 7:04am

  You!

  Vanessa Duncan 7:05am

  Lol...I’ve gotta’ finished getting

  dressed I’ll call you when I get

  in the car....I love you!

  Deon Hart 7:06am

  I Love you too!

  January 1, 2010

  Deon Hart 1:33am

  I hope you decide to keep our

  child. We will make

  wonderful parents. Please baby,

  I’m begging you. DON’T ABORT

  OUR UNBORN BABY. We can

  be together. I know that’s what you want.

  You’re just concerned about my age.

  I can be a great father I know I can.

  Please think about it.

  Vanessa Duncan 6:00am

  I’ve dreamed about being

  pregnant my entire life.

  And now that it’s happened

  I don’t know what to do.

  I’m torn between you and my

  husband. I love you both. That is why

  I cannot keep this child. If my

  husband were to ever find out

  that I’ve cheated and that I’m

  carrying another man’s baby it will

  absolutely destroy him. I don’t

  want to hurt him that way.

  I hope you understand.

  Deon Hart 8:00am

  ..........................heartbroken

  I can’t keep being your

  little doormat! I’m done!

  January 15, 2010

  Vanessa Duncan 8:00am

  I haven’t heard from you in days.

  I went to sleep last night wishing

  that I was in your arms instead of his.

  I want so badly to be with you.

  I want so badly to raise this baby

  with you. I’m lost.

  Please respond to me. I’m missing

  you terribly.

  Deon Hart 8:01am

  I need to see you.

  I’ve tried to forget about

  you. I can’t! I’ve tried to move on.

  I can’t. So even if I have to remain

  number two in your life, I’m willing.

  I’d rather be number two

  than nothing at all.

  I need to see you today.

  Jason’s heart felt like it was going to burst if he continued reading. He sat there practically convulsed with rage, the words he’d just read slashing through him. He picked up the laptop and threw it into the wall and then yanked open the desk drawers one by one hoping to find records of the abortion. He needed dates. He stumbled across the bag that the hospital had given him after Vanessa’s accident. He’d never thought to ramble through it before that moment. It was too hard. Now it didn’t seem ethical, not to. When he pulled out her purse a folded piece of paper fell into his lap. Leisurely, he opened it and mentally read along the lines.

  To my angel that I have to let slip away:

  The best part about love is falling in love and the hardest part is having to say goodbye, let go, and move on. I miss you more than you'll ever know. More than most people would understand. Honestly, I don't quite understand it myself. How can I be in love with someone other than my husband? Sometimes I lie in his arms, craving your touch, longing to be held by you and hear your heartbeat thump to the same rhythm as mines. You’ve shown me your heart, opened up to me and since day one you’ve been affectionate. Something that he’s neglected to do until recently, after years and years of hearing me complain about it. I hear your voice in my dreams, taste your lips when he kisses me, and pretend that I'm making love to you every time that he and I make love. I'm not proud about anything that I've done but shamelessly I don't regret any of it either. The two children that I have carried and aborted because I know that my husband will never forgive me for getting pregnant by another man, haunts me every single day of my life. I’ve terminated the life of God’s most precious creation and I now have nightmares. Flashbacks of the abortions recur in my memory persistently. More often than none. It’s my punishment for my faithlessness behavior. My secrets would shatter my husband's heart and crumble his world. He thinks the world of me and treats me like a princess. I don’t deserve him any more than I deserve you. All those nights we spent together in the bed that my husband and I share when he thought that I was in Sandi Ego makes my heart ache for him, and my conscious is wearing me down. So, here it is, I'm deeply in love with you but I just cannot do this anymore. I've neglected him since the day that you came into my life but you and I both know that the time has come for us to end our affair. I truly wish
that things could have been different for us but I belong to another man. Always remember that even though I'm his wife you'll always be my love, my happiness, my all, and the man that I wish that I'd married. Love Always, Vanessa.

  His anger frightened him as he curved his fingers into a tight fist, knocked down the chair, and pounded his fist into the wall. He’d never been so angry in his life. He was so angry he didn’t even feel the pain circulating through his knuckles.

  Jason had snapped. He didn’t remember snatching down Vanessa’s clothes, shoes, hat’s, and makeup. He didn’t remember packing everything that she owned into several boxes. He didn’t remember stumbling down the staircase. He didn’t remember sitting the cardboard boxes by the front door. He didn’t remember sitting down on the stairs reading the letter over and over again. He didn’t remember how long he’d been sitting on the stairs waiting for her to return. His mind didn’t seem to be working.

  ****

  Vanessa was startled, when she walked into the foyer. “Jason you almost scared the living daylights out of me. What’s with all the boxes?”

  “There yours I want you to get your shit and get the fuck out of this house. Take your little boyfriend’s phone with you” He said.

  Vanessa grabbed the phone out of Jason’s hand “What are you talking about?”

  “This is what I’m talking about” He snapped, and tossed the letter to her.

  She kneeled down and grabbed it.

  After she glanced through the words, words that she’d written he asked. “Bringing back any memories yet?”

  Tears slid down her cheeks and remorse rushed through her. “Jason, I’m sorry”