The Shadow's Touch

by Scott VanKirk

  I didn’t waste any time marveling at what I had just done. I went around him and headed for Jen’s room. I found her there, packing. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

  I called out from her door hesitantly, “Jen?”

  Her eyes grew wide and then she shouted, “Finn!” She rushed me and grabbed me in a bear hug that I gratefully returned.

  I murmured with wonder and stroked her black hair. “You’re alive. You’re all right…”

  We stood that way until I noticed that her breasts were pushing into my chest in an interesting way. I scolded myself, Morgenstern, you are such a pig.

  Which, of course, invited comment from Spring, No, it is natural to feel this way. You have been wanting to mate with her for quite some time. She would make a fine—

  Not another word! Hot flames licked up my face.

  I wrenched my mind around and let up my hug, hoping to signal that she should do the same without me having to push her away.

  After a very long minute, she backed away.

  I met her deep, brown eyes and searched there for the Jen I knew. I said, “Jen? Are you okay?”

  She nodded quickly. The tears ran freely down her face. It was such a flood of relief to finally have her back, and to release that burden of guilt, that I was crying, too. Of course, my tears were more, uh, masculine, yeah, that’s right. You got a problem with that, punk?

  “Jen, do you remember what happened?”

  She nodded again and said, “Thank you for saving me.”

  My cooling face started heating up again. “I’d do it again.”

  Her smile crinkled her eyes at the corners. “You’d give me half the personality and memories of a priestess again?”

  I sputtered. “No! That’s not what I meant, and you know it! You’re just being mean now.”

  “I’m sorry, Finn. Thank you for everything you did.”

  I searched her eyes for a moment. “I’m so sorry about Gregg.”

  Her face fell again.

  “Me too. I miss him. Has he said anything yet?”

  I shook my head and said, “No, I’m so sorry, Jen. He was released in the fight with the shadow. I didn’t have any say in it, but I think he saved me.”

  I didn’t give her time to get confused; I told her what had happened with the shadow. As I was telling her about it, something clicked into place. “He let me borrow what was left of his soul. That’s why I was able to pull out of the shadow’s control. It felt like he was only around for a few seconds, but it was enough.”

  I teared up again. That earned me another hug from Jen. It felt right having her there, and this time I didn’t question it. I stroked her thick, shining black hair, pulled back a bit, and said, “You want to know what his last words were?”

  She nodded silently.

  “He called me a sniveling, white-ass honky and then basically said I was white trash.”

  That made us both smile. “Then he suggested that even you have bigger balls than me.” She laughed out loud, and I joined her. It didn’t last long, but it went a long way in helping both of us.

  She pulled on my hand and said, “Can you stay for a while?”

  “I’m not sure if your Dad… Oh shit! Your Dad!”

  “What, what’s wrong?” asked Jen in alarm.

  “I just left him standing there! I’ve got to go and let him loose.” I ran back to the front door.

  Mr. Washington was standing where I’d left him, ready to punch the air.

  “Oh, my god, Finn! What did you do?”

  “I…uh…just told him to stand still. And, he did.”

  She stared at me, “Like that spell I cast, I mean, Il Saia cast on you?”

  “Sort of, but I didn’t have to sing anything.”

  She clapped her hands in delight and said, “This is awesome, Finn! Do you think he can hear me?”

  I shrugged and frowned. “Beats the hell out of me. I didn’t tell him not to listen, so he probably can.”

  “Oh, this is fantastic! Finn, I have been trying to talk to him ever since I got home last night. He won’t listen! He just storms around and blows me off!”

  She went up to him and stepped into his line of sight. She craned her neck to meet his eyes and said sternly, “Daddy, you’re all wrong about Finn! What happened to me was an accident. It wasn’t anything he did to me on purpose.” She slowed down and became sadder. “He did everything he could to help me. Finn is the only reason I’m still here. He saved my life and a lot of other peoples’ lives as well. He tried to save Gregg, but was too late because he was busy saving me.” She started choking up and continued unsteadily, “Gregg was already gone when Finn finished helping me. Daddy, Gregg died saving all of our lives. He died a hero, and he wouldn’t want you to blame his death on someone else. That would be like… be like denying him credit for his bravery.

  “Daddy, you can’t keep being mad. I need you. Momma needs you.” She finished with a whisper, “I need you to hold me and tell me that it’ll be all right.”

  By this time, I could see that Mr. Washington’s ears were working just fine because tears were running down his face. I slipped out the door behind Jen and applied my will. I told him, “You can move now.” After that, I beat a hasty retreat. I was hoping that he was hugging Jen and not coming after me with a shotgun, but it didn’t hurt to be careful. I ran home.

  Once I got there, I just wanted to curl up and sleep, but I had one more thing to do that day. I picked up the phone and called Dr. Anderson.

  Erik

  I borrowed my mother’s car again and headed over to Shady Oaks, where the courts had placed Erik. Once there, I headed to Erik Parmely’s room. When I walked in, I received a pleasant surprise.

  The usual matronly nurse was not at her welcoming station. Instead, there was a petite, pretty, young woman with a beautiful, and an unusually bright, violet aura. She wore her curly dark brown hair at shoulder length, which nicely framed the sunny smile that she had pointed right at me.

  Before all the chaos, I would have assumed that I was just engaging in wishful thinking, but now I didn’t have such a hard time imagining her smile really was directed at me. It felt nice.

  When she spoke to me, it was with a heart-stopping singsong French accent. “Good morning, Monsieur. Welcome to Shady Oaks. How may I be of service?”

  I gave her a wide smile back and read her name tag where it sat on a significant slope. I said, “Good Afternoon…Colette.”

  She blushed prettily. “Your pardon, Monsieur, I am still getting used to speaking ze the Englaise again. It was just a, how you say, mistake of the tongue?”

  I waved away her apology and said, “I’m Finn. I work with Dr. Anderson. Could you tell me where Erik Parmely is being kept?”

  “Oh, I am so sorry Monsieur, but Monsieur Parmely, he is in the locked room.”

  I thought about that for a minute. “No problem, may I go and see Dr. Anderson then?”

  “But of course! Walk this way s’il vous plait.”

  I followed her quite fetching, heart-shaped derrière to Anderson’s office.

  Spring, of course, noticed my attention and had to put in her two cents worth. She is quite petite, Finn, I don’t know if she would produce strong children, but her bright aura might mean that your children will be strong-souled. In any case, she is on birth control and is not fertile right now. Save your seed.

  I blushed. Who wants to know that kind of stuff? Spring please, too much information! Then curiosity got the better of me. How do you know she’s on the pill?

  I could feel her smugness. It’s obvious, Finn. I’m sure if you were paying more attention to what your senses tell you, you would see it, too.

  Huh. That was an interesting thought, even if it was embarrassing.

  Colette stopped abruptly in front of me. Since my mind was more on her derriere than on our location, I almost ran into her. She turned to me and suddenly we were standing face to face.

  Guiltily, I met her
eyes, and I blushed even harder. Her eyes were knowing and mischievous. “Here we are, Monsieur Finn.”

  I stammered a little. “Uh thanks, Colette…”

  Her smile grew wider. “You are most welcome.”

  Awkwardly, I moved out of her way and headed into the Doc’s office.

  Once there, it was an easy matter to convince the Doctor Anderson to get me past the guard stationed at Erik’s door and give me some time alone with him. On our way there, I casually asked him about the new attendant. He gave me a sly smile and said, “She’s a cutie, that one.” It was my turn to blush again, but I didn’t have to say anything more. He added, “She’s an exchange student from France. She’s doing an internship here to learn about my work with paranoid schizophrenia. Her arrival was rather precipitous, but that was fortunate because Nancy was called away from her job here for an indefinite period. The best part about an intern is that they’re free. Her position is unpaid, and she would undoubtedly welcome having a nice dinner bought for her.”

  That Anderson even noticed women or would make a comment like that to me was astounding, but in terms of immediate interest, that was a distant second to hearing she might like to be taken to dinner. That gave me something to chew on. Unfortunately, that pleasant distraction only lasted a short period before my thoughts turned back to darker things.

  “Doc, is, uh, Daniel’s body still here?”

  “No, sorry, Finn, he was taken away last night. We are holding the funeral in town tomorrow night. I’ll send you the details. I hope you can be there.”

  “Uh, yeah, I will.” Of course I would go. Daniel had died for me. He had died because he had misplaced his faith in me. He had trusted me, and I had killed him. The memory of the joyous rush of satisfaction that had filled me as he died made me want to vomit.

  “There was nothing you could have done, Finn. He made his choice freely. For him, you were worth the sacrifice.”

  Oh God. How could I live with that?

  “Yeah...” I tried to push those feelings aside and returned to the reason I’d come here. “Can you let me in to see Erik?”

  “I can, but why?”

  “I just... I just need to see him. Would that be okay?”

  The doc’s regard was steady and impotent against the wall of introspection I’d erected. “Okay, follow me.”

  Unsurprisingly, no one else was in the room when I walked in. I knew from my memories of being him that he had no close family. He was all alone. I walked over to the bed and looked at Erik. A dozen different bags and instruments sprang from lines or tubes inserted into his body. He seemed a lot smaller and certainly less scary lying there unmoving. His ragged, fluttering, and intermittent aura was barely visible. I still wasn’t really sure what the aura represented, if it were actually the soul or not, but I knew it was important. I pulled up a chair and sat beside him for a while. I studied his slack face and wished I could hate him, but I couldn’t. I had his memories now. They had faded somewhat after the shadow was gone, but I still remembered the loneliness and the fear that had accompanied him all his life.

  Finn, I think this is a bad idea. We should just let him die or rot or whatever is happening. He tried to kill us and he did kill Gregg!

  I know, Spring. I couldn’t believe what I was contemplating, either. I mean, turning the other cheek was fine as a goal, but never seemed actually viable as a lifestyle. What I was thinking went way beyond that. Unfortunately, what I had seen inside Erik wasn’t something I could turn my back on—especially given the weight of my recent sins. Life was hard enough with parents and people who cared about you. I couldn’t imagine being brought up in a place where you only had one parent, a parent who showed only hatred and abuse, who resented your very existence.

  I dwelt on that for quite a while, ignoring Spring’s uneasiness, before I worked up the nerve to touch him. I placed my hands on his chest and stretched my aura over him like a blanket. This time, I was much more careful than with Daniel. I really didn’t want to go through that again. Using Spring as a shield to keep down the backlash, I cradled him gently in my thoughts, urging healing and providing sustenance to his tattered aura. It bore the scars of each and every terrible thing visited upon him in his life. The pain of feeding him even small bits of my aura was intense. When I felt that I was nearing my limit, I pulled back and opened my eyes. His half lidded gaze startled me. He didn’t say anything as I flinched and jumped away. He still scared me.

  I studied him from a distance one last time. I hadn’t helped him as much as I had Holly and Daniel, but his aura was now covering him. It was weak, but it wasn’t sputtering off into who knew where.

  I had no idea the price I would pay for putting yet another hole in my aura, but the satisfaction of seeing him whole again balanced that fear. Just as I was turning to go, he muttered something. I turned back, but his eyes had closed again. I dragged myself out of the room.

  It was getting late, and some nasty bugger had reattached the lead weights to my legs, butt, and eyelids, but I had promised Holly I would visit with her. As I left Erik’s room for Holly’s, I ran into Colette again, and we exchanged pleasant greetings one more time. I headed directly to Holly’s room where we hung out for a while. She was such a cool kid that she was a joy to be with. For just for a moment, I lay down on her bed while she was drawing at her table, and fell sound asleep. When my mom called my cell to find me, I woke up to find Holly snuggled up against me. She was so tiny! Protective instincts I never knew I had surged within me. I knew then I would do whatever it took to keep her safe.

  Gently, I disentangled myself from Holly and headed home. My nap left me partially refreshed, but still tired. I knew I would sleep well that night. On the drive home, it occurred to me that things could get back to normal now. Erik was in the hospital. The shadow was locked safely away for now. I wasn’t wanted for any crimes. Nobody was chasing me, stalking me, or trying to kill me. My dad was still strange, but he seemed happy and stable. That was a very satisfying and relaxing train of thought. When I arrived at home, I had a great meal with my parents. They attributed my silence to sadness at losing Gregg. I didn’t disabuse them of that notion.

  I hadn’t told them what I’d been doing with the shadows since what had happened with Holly, and I could conceive of no universe where I would tell them what had happened that day. The guilt at what I’d done was crushing me. I couldn’t add destroying my parents’ fragile equilibrium to that burden. Instead, I took up the guilt of not telling my parents, and I headed to bed with my heavy load.

  My room was still trashed, but I could handle the guest room until we got the insurance company to grant our claim. I climbed into bed and vowed not to get up until noon the next day. Almost feeling content, knowing that it was over, sleep grabbed me and dragged me deep. That should have been my warning flag.

  Dancing Fever

  Finn! Wake up!

  Spring’s warning came with a jolt to my adrenals that carried me out of dreamland like a catapult. It wasn’t fast enough. I had only a brief moment to see the fist coming for my face. I had just enough time to wonder what was happening before it landed. Pain blossomed in my cheek, which was still tender from where Dr. Washington had smacked me. Music blasted in my ears, and the surrounding light pulsed with the music. I took my only option: I fell over. Once on the floor, I shook my head, trying to get rid of the deafening, pounding sounds, and the flashing lights, but they wouldn’t go away.

  Get up, Finn! You have to get up!

  I tried, I really did, but confusion and the blasted dregs of sleep still tangled up my brain. The boot that was coming for my side landed with a sickening thud. New pain blossomed from the kick.

  I snapped. I jumped up from the floor and sprang at my attacker. I took him down. Mercy or consequences never even crossed my mind. I was in survival mode and my uncle’s training kicked in. I caught the weak roundhouse he was aiming for my head with my right arm and followed the block with a hard blow to his throat.
>
  Spring screamed, No Finn! No! As I drove it down, my arm twitched to the side, and my strike hit the floor with full force. The pain of impact stunned me momentarily. I didn’t get a chance to scream before someone’s strong arms grabbed me from behind and pulled off my attacker. The noise, pain, and flashing lights assaulted my senses, and I went a little crazy. Being grabbed by my arms brought back memories of being held down and beaten by Erik and his gang before the end of the semester. It wasn’t going to happen again, not while I was still able to move.

  With every fiber of my being, I screamed, “Get away from me!”

  My unseen assailants let me go, and I nearly fell as the strong hands I was fighting suddenly went away. I caught my balance, stood up straight and looked wildly around. Suddenly, everything clicked. I was in the middle of a dance floor! Moments before, a ring of people had surrounded me, but now everyone in front of me was struggling wildly against each other to get away from me. I could see my assailant and the two bouncers who had pulled him off the floor pressing frantically into the crowd. I was at the center of a growing ring of empty floor. People were screaming now and frantic to get away from me. My heart was pounding louder than the music and my adrenalin rush left me shaking. I contemplated going after my previous assailant.

  Spring was frantically trying to get my attention. Finn! It’s okay, it’s okay! No one’s trying to hurt us! It’s okay.

  The rage that flared from the unexpected attack hadn’t left me yet. I yelled at her out loud. “What the hell is going on, Spring!”

  It’s okay, it’s okay, Finn.

  Stop saying that and answer my question!

  It was just a misunderstanding; I think he was just jealous that you were dancing with his boyfriend.

  That made absolutely no sense to me. I yelled at her some more. Tell me what just happened or, so help me god, I will toss your green ass back into a poison ivy plant.

  You don’t have to be so nasty! I was just dancing, and I saw this guy. He was very well built, and he danced really well…