My Own Kind of Freedom

by Steven Brust

  It worked. “He’s back on the crew?” he asked.

  “No. At least, not yet. But he’s on the ship, anyway. Not sure where it goes from there.”

  “Straight down,” said Wash.

  Zoë nodded. “That much is pretty certain,” she said.

  Serenity: Engine room

  It really was hard to work in a pressure suit.

  It wasn’t just the loss of manual dexterity, or mobility; it was that there was the sense that she couldn’t actually touch Serenity. It was surprising how much she learned just from contact; feeling the rhythm of her engine, the constant little adjustments of the artificial gravity, the re-balancing of the inertia guide.

  And now she was without it, and Serenity was hurt; hurt worse than Kaylee had ever seen. To say, “structural damage” just didn’t express it. There was a hole in Serenity. The black was inside her, when she existed to keep the black out there. Her heart beat as smooth as ever, and life-support still worked, and, after a bit of work, she had inertial thrust.

  But she wasn’t supposed to be rigged that way, like a guy trying to walk on one foot and one hand while eating through his nose. She could do it for a while, but she didn’t much like it, and pretty soon now she’d just quit.

  Kaylee didn’t much care to be out here, either; surrounded by the black, Hera there huge and swirling green above her, like she was going to grab Serenity and drag her down; and below her feet Serenity with her gaping wound, only magnetic boots and a lifeline keeping her secured while Wash made his adjustments.

  And she really wanted to scratch her nose.

  She should come up with a way to wipe one’s brow while wearing a pressure suit. It really couldn’t be that hard to do. Then she could work on a way to scratch one’s back.

  Okay, never mind, back to the job.

  Kaylee laid out the welding gear, and the pieces of scrap she’d found in the hold, and eyed the big wound that was, if not her biggest problem, then at least the next one she had to fix if she was to get to the others.

  She started filing away at the jagged edges. “I’m sorry, baby,” she murmured.

  Serenity: Near shuttle bay

  “Is Kit your real name?”

  “Why would that matter?”

  “Don’t figure it would, just asking. So, how d’you see this working?”

  “You mean, getting me back into the hands of my people while you go on your way?”

  “Yeah, that’s what I mean.”

  “Or do you mean how am I going to bring down Sakarya now that I’m off the world and my cover’s blown.”

  “I might mean that, too.”

  “Or maybe how I’m going to singlehandedly end all poverty, injustice and disease in the ’verse, including among as yet undiscovered alien species.”

  “That’s less likely.”

  “You never know.”

  “How is it going to work?”

  “Get on the Cortex, I’ll give you the code, you arrange a meeting with an Alliance vessel, we make the transfer, you go on your way.”

  “Okay, second idea.”

  “And the problem with that is?”

  “They know about us.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “Jayne told them he had the Tams. The Locals have connected Serenity with the Tams. All the Alliance—”

  “Serenity,” he said.

  “That’s the name of the boat.”

  “I was there,” Kit heard himself saying.

  “What?”

  “Serenity Valley. I was there. Some of my first intel training—sussing out your positions, trying to figure any weak spots. They made me…it was tough.”

  Mal didn’t say anything.

  “You made a hell of a fight,” said Kit.

  After a moment, Mal said, “All the Alliance has to do is tap into the Locals’ comm, which is about the first thing they’d do, yes?”

  “Yes.”

  “After that Jayne could put it all together. I’m not getting next to an Alliance ship, whatever guarantees you give me. If they need to, they’ll lie to you to get to the Tams. Won’t they?”

  Kit hesitated, then nodded.

  “So,” continued Reynolds, “what’s your next idea? We can set you down somewhere, either on Hera, or somewhere else, and then let them know where you are.”

  “I guess that’s what we’ll do, then.”

  “You hungry?”

  “Starving.”

  “Me, too. We have protein in nine different flavors and some dried apricots. I’ll show you where the kitchen is, then I’m going to go check on my mechanic, see how she’s doing.”

  Something went off in Kit’s head, then—that feeling that, all of a sudden, he had all the pieces if he just put them together. He nodded to Reynolds, and followed him to the kitchen, his mind racing.

  Captain Reynolds knew; there was no other explanation.

  And that put an entirely different light on things.

  The captain headed down toward engineering. Kit followed him absently, but his mind wasn’t on it. He needed to think this through.

  Serenity: Engine room

  The airtight door opened, and Kaylee was standing there, still in her pressure suit, but helmet off.

  “Fixed?” he asked.

  “Sort of,” she said. “Still needs some work, and she isn’t going to take to being put on the solid with half the starboard extender missing, but—”

  “Get some rest, Kaylee. Rest, eat something, relax.”

  Kaylee leaned against the bulkhead, closed her eyes, and nodded. “Okay, Cap’n. What are you going to do?”

  “Try to come up with the right questions, so I know where to put all these answers I got.”

  Kaylee shook her head. “That almost made sense.”

  “Yeah,” said Mal. “That’s about how I’ve been feeling for some time.”

  Kaylee stepped up and kissed him on the cheek, her pressure suit bumping his collar bone. “It’ll work out, Cap’n.”

  “Now we got two witches on this boat?”

  She just smiled, shook her head, and thunked off toward her bunk. For one crazy moment, he wanted to follow her. Not to sex her, but just to lie down and close his eyes and be next to her for a bit.

  He took a deep breath and let it out slow, then made his way to the Med Bay, the fed still with him. As expected, River and Simon were both there, River staring up at the ceiling with a glazed look; she just barely responded when he walked in.

  “River, you did good today.”

  “Captain,” said Simon, “she needlessly risked—”

  “No needless about it, Doctor. We were humped down there. You planning to fly the shuttle to get us?”

  “Wash could have—”

  “Wash left the bridge a minute, and this boat’d be scattered all over the world, and you with it.”

  “I don’t want her—”

  “Your wants ain’t got too strong a hold on my intentions, Doctor. I’d think a bright young fellow like you would have sussed that out by now.”

  The doctor stared at him for just long enough to let him know how he felt about that, then said, “River says they’re coming.”

  “Who?”

  “She didn’t say. She just said, ‘they’re coming.’”

  “Well, lest she’s just spouting gibberish, I’d guess it’d be the feds, and we were figuring hard on that already. Now, if she knew when they were coming—”

  “Tomorrow, early afternoon,” said River.

  Mal looked at her, then at the doctor, then back at River. “Something creepifying about you,” he said.

  River didn’t answer; she seemed to have fallen asleep.

  Mal shrugged, turned, and made his way up toward the bridge. As he walked, he noticed that the fed was still with him, and still looking impenetrable.

  “Well, any thoughts?”

  Kit looked up. “Plenty. How would you feel about letting me make contact with my people?”

 
; “Your people means the Alliance, don’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “I told you about—”

  “Not to arrange a pick-up. I just want to make contact.”

  “Don’t seem like that would be in my best interest.”

  “Doesn’t seem like it, but it would be.”

  “You want me to just trust you?”

  “Yes.”

  “When do you need to do this?”

  “Before you do whatever it is you’re going to do.”

  “I’ll think on it. Meantime, I’m heading toward the bridge. You can be in the dining room, or your quarters. I catch you anywhere else on my boat and I’ll kill you.”

  “You don’t need to threaten me, Captain. I know where I stand.”

  “Do you?”

  “I told you, I was there.”

  “Yeah, you did at that.”

  Mal left him in the dining room and headed up to the bridge.

  “Don’t mind me, you two. I’ll just stand here and wonder why there are two weapons in the co-pilot’s chair.”

  Zoë and Wash broke their clinch, Wash giving Mal something of an annoyed look.

  Zoë said, “Keeping them out of Jayne’s hands.”

  “Ah. Good decision.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  He said, “Just letting you two know that we need to be out of here by tomorrow afternoon, according to a highly reliable source I don’t trust at all.”

  “Mal,” said Wash, “can you tell me why we aren’t leaving this place now?”

  “No, I’m not sure I can.”

  “Oh. Well. All right, then. That’s all I needed.”

  “There’s some things that got to be settled on that world.”

  “Why?”

  “’Cause,” said Mal.

  “She’s handling a little better now,” said Wash. “Kaylee did something.”

  “She’ll do that,” said Mal. “Can you get us on the ground as things stand?”

  “Not sure,” said Wash. “But we’re two and a half days from Tagwyn.”

  “Tagwyn?”

  “An orbiting repair dock, around—”

  “No, on the ground here.”

  Wash stared at him. “Are you serious, Mal?”

  “Just want to know if you can do it.”

  “Mal, I can’t keep my eyes open any more. I can’t land a handkerchief on the floor. I could maybe, if I got lucky, punch in the coordinates to Tagwyn and start us there, but without being here to monitor—”

  “Go to bed, Wash. We’ll talk in the morning. Zoë and I can take shifts keeping us in the sky.”

  For once, Wash had no remarks. He raised his arm, and Zoë took and hauled him to his feet, kissed him, and escorted him toward the door.

  “I’ll be back to work out shifts after I’ve put my exhausted man to bed,” she said.

  “Exhausted?” said Wash. “If I sleep for five years I might make it up to exhausted.”

  Mal nodded and sat down in the pilot’s chair, and stared at the line of dawn on Hera through the front window—an ugly world, full of sickly greens and oppressive blues. Yuva appeared down and off to the right; in Serenity Valley, away on the other side, the sun would just be setting.

  He watched Hera like a snake watches a rabbit.

  Then he tapped the intercom for the dining room. “Anyone there?” No response. He tried the room he’d given Kit, the Shepherd’s old room. “Fed? You around?”

  Kit’s voice came back. “I’m here.”

  “Once we’re on the ground, come on up to the bridge and make your call,” he said.

  Serenity: Bridge

  “Good morning, sir.”

  “You’re a good relief, Zoë.”

  “Anything?”

  “She’s doing a bump and grind; you have to knock off the autopilot, bring her back to the grid, then turn it on again; seems like every twenty minutes or so. It isn’t too bad.”

  “All right.”

  “Wash?”

  “He was snoring before he was horizontal.”

  “He did a good day’s work. A good week’s work.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He stood and stepped out of the way so she could take the pilot’s seat, then he picked up the two pistols and held them while he sat in the co-pilot’s seat.

  “I’m going to talk to Jayne,” he said.

  She barely nodded, concentrating on checking the auto-pilot’s settings, and the position grid.

  “Zoë, I want this guy.”

  This time she made no pretense of nodding; just continued checking the board.

  “Zoë?”

  “Yes, sir?”

  “You know why, don’t you?”

  “The war’s over, sir. I seem to remember hearing you say that once or twice.”

  “It’s not about the war.”

  “Of course it’s about the war, sir.”

  He leaned back, and stared out as Hera drifted slowly from his right to his left, until he was staring into the black.

  “You don’t think it’s maybe about what’s happening on that there very piece of ground below us?”

  “No, sir. I don’t.”

  “So, I take it you want no part of it, Zoë?”

  “I didn’t say that, sir.”

  “Then—”

  “I’d just feel better going into this if you knew why we were doing it. I’ll back you either way. But I’d rather you knew.”

  “Ain’t no one to tell me. Maybe if the Shepherd were still here, he’d explain it.”

  “You’d ignore him, sir.”

  “Most like I would. So, you going to tell me?”

  “I would if I could.”

  “I just know I got to do this. I can’t let it alone. It’s everything. It’s the war, it’s the…It’s everything.”

  “You’re bringing Jayne back on.”

  “Might be.”

  “And working with an Alliance agent.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What do you believe in any more, sir?”

  “My crew.”

  “And what does this do for your crew?”

  “Wo zenmayang bei la dao zhege huati dang zhong?” He stared out into the black. Serenity lurched; though buffered by the artificial gravity, he could still feel it. Zoë killed the auto-pilot, re-settled Serenity on her course, and re-engaged the auto-pilot.

  She turned the pilot’s chair and faced him.

  “I have to put it away,” he said.

  “Sir, three days ago, you didn’t even know—”

  “Yes, but now I do. And it makes it all different. All of it. All the way back, and what’s happening here and now. It isn’t one thing, it’s all of it.”

  “Yes, sir. But what about the fed?”

  “Funny you should ask.”

  “Sir?”

  “He’s just been trying to figure me out.”

  “Ah. I see. Well, that must have been entertaining.”

  “I did figure him out.”

  “Sir?”

  “I figured out why he’s doing this.”

  “He wants to take down Sakarya, because he likes beating bad guys?”

  “That’s part of it.”

  “And the rest?”

  “Simon and River.”

  “He wants them?”

  “No, he wants them to get away.”

  “I don’t—”

  “He went and found out who we were, and who they were, and he figures it ain’t right for the Alliance to come down with all the law and everything for someone who decided to drop out of school.”

  “But he’s Alliance.”

  “Yeah, he is. Puts him in a nasty spot, doesn’t it?”

  “So, he’ll help us?”

  “Not directly. He can’t. He’s a believer.”

  “He still believes, even though—”

  “Even though.”

  Zoë shook her head. That sort of conflict couldn’t happen in Zoë’s world. In Zoë’s world i
t was people, not ideas. For people like the fed it was both, and it was no fun when they smashed into each other. That was a feeling Mal could understand.

  “Zoë?”

  “Sir?”

  “Thanks.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I’d best be about my business.”

  He stood up and looked at the two holstered pistols in his hands; it took him a moment to remember why they were there.

  Serenity: Dining room

  He and Mal had the place to themselves.

  “Go ahead, Jayne. Sit down.”

  “I’d been about to, but thanks for the invite.”

  Jayne sat heavily.

  “Okay,” said Mal. “Let’s talk.”

  “Why are you worrying about me when you have a gorram fed ten feet away from loony girl?”

  “Because the fed ain’t never been on my crew, Jayne.”

  “Yeah. What you want to talk about?”

  “They offered you a deal?”

  “Who, the Locals? Yeah, I told you. I didn’t take it.”

  “I’m still working on calculating why not.”

  A few lies went through his head, but there was Mal, looking at him, and…“I didn’t like how they asked me.”

  Mal nodded. “I don’t deny that you been useful to have around a time or two.”

  “Well damn, Mal. Them’s the nicest words you ever sent in my direction.”

  “Likely they are. But you been a lot of trouble to me and mine.”

  “What did you expect? You threw me off your gorram crew. You think maybe I’d run out and buy you flowers?”

  “Always have liked chrysanthemums.”

  “Zoë tries to kill me, Mal, I’m gonna—”

  “Zoë ain’t going to do more than I tell her to, Jayne, ’less you put your foot bad wrong.”

  “That’s a comfort.”

  “We’re going into something, Jayne.”

  “Into what?”

  “Settling some old business. Could use another gun in this. You can be back on if you want.”

  “Any money in it?”

  “Not a credit, not a cent.”

  “Well, there’s a powerful inducement.”

  “There any inducement in this, you suss it out on your own.”

  “What about my ginseng?”