Impasse

Home > Other > Impasse > Page 7
Impasse Page 7

by Margaret Pargeter


  Feeling her tremble, Slade associated it with other things. A moment later he was guiding her upstairs. 'What you need is a hot bath.'

  Would it help dispel all the shadows? Lee wished she could think straight as she walked up the wide staircase with Slade's arm protectively around her, feeling very slight and small against his superior height.

  'It seems strange to find the old house so silent,' he mused, walking into the bathroom.

  'I like it this way,' she replied softly. 'But it was Grandfather who closed the restaurant.'

  'You had no fancy to run it?'

  'No, and I didn't really have the experience.'

  She had expected him to argue that she could have learned, but he merely nodded and began running taps. 'Come on,' he said, when the bath was half full, 'in you get.'

  Because the bath wasn't big enough for two, he had a shower while Lee soaked, but he was soon back, lifting her out of it and carrying her through to her bedroom. With growing delight she clung to him as he lay down beside her on the soft mattress. It didn't seem to matter that they were still both wet as their eyes devoured the perfection of each other's bodies. Lee's heart beat a crazy tattoo against her ribs as, under his caressing hands, a heavy sweetness began pressing the breath from her lungs, and evidence of his renewed passion excited her immeasurably. Her hips moved instinctively and she felt the probe of his instant response against her trembling thighs.

  'You're beautiful, Lee!' The softly uttered words were like explosions of pure feeling as his heart thundered against her as he captured her mouth with soul-shaking intensity. Her hand moved convulsively across the taut flesh of his stomach and she felt the trembling of his abdominal muscles. His skin was smooth over hard, vital sinews…

  'Do you know what you're doing to me?' he muttered, an agony of frustration in his voice. 'I always wanted you before, but now I can't seem to wait.'

  His kisses and murmurings had swiftly reduced her to a state beyond words and though her lips sought to form a reply nothing came out. As her tongue tasted the slightly salty skin of his neck, his mouth came down with hungry accuracy on the tautened nipple of one breast and she gasped as her own stomach muscles moved convulsively. When his hand captured her other breast, then moved slowly downwards towards another place of unbearable sensitivity, she felt a gathering storm of sensation spiral higher and higher.

  A fierce trembling shook Slade's whole body as he struggled to wrest control from the primitive whirlwind that was gathering them both in its turbulent vortex. 'You're killing me!' he groaned, seconds before they were completely lost in a tempestuous rush of desire. Thunder rolled suddenly outside, rattling the windows, but the turbulence of their passion obliterated all other thought so that neither of them heard it. Lee's cries, soft at first, mounted as she was crushed beneath him, becoming more and more uninhibited. And then, like fireworks going off, a white-hot ecstasy spread through her whole body in incredible waves, just as Slade shuddered violently against her.

  Much later, in bed, she turned her head to watch him sleeping. He might not love her, but he was clearly as enthralled by her as she was by him. He had left her in no doubt of this, as midnight had been long past before he had closed his eyes, and if any further evidence was needed, it could surely be found in her aching limbs.

  Yet where would it all lead to? she wondered. He had come back into her life with a force she couldn't fight, in much the same way as he had entered it when she was nineteen. Her heart was sad for Matt, for the marriage they could never have, for even if she could bring herself to marry him now, wouldn't it be cheating? She felt a little sorry for herself, too, for the dreams of a husband and family she must say goodbye to. She had had her future all planned—all in vain, she thought hollowly. Slade had returned and in an incredibly short time shown her exactly how futile such a dream had been. Whether she liked it or not, she was tied to a man who would use her and cast her off when it suited him. And when that day came, she would have to endure the pain of it on her own as it would be criminal to let another man like Matt believe she might come to love him.

  Wistfully, as she went on regarding Slade's sleeping form, hope rose within her. Perhaps in time he might change his mind and want to marry her? It was a fragile hope, but all she could cling to. He didn't deny the passion that held them together; if only he could learn to love her everything might be perfect. As she quietly contemplated such a soul-shaking possibility, Lee's long lashes drifted softly on to her cheeks and her mouth curved in the beginnings of a smile as she turned in Slade's enfolding arms and snuggled against him.

  She woke to the sound of a lone bird chirping in the trees on the lawn and the knowledge that the storm had passed and the sun was rising. A curtain at the window flapped on a sudden current of air, then stilled, and for a moment her eyes remained blankly on it. It seemed like just another morning, until she remembered the passion-filled night and the unenviable task she had somehow to perform today.

  Where was Slade? Anxiously she glanced around. The place where he had lain was empty and there was no sign of him. Had he left already? Bitterly her soft mouth tightened. It would be just like him to disappear without a word! Always he had wanted to be acquainted with her every movement, every moment of the day, but he had hated having to give any explanation regarding any plans of his own.

  Getting out of bed, she hurried to the window and when she saw his car had gone, knew her suspicions were correct. The silent house confirmed it as she pulled on a thin cotton robe and wandered listlessly downstairs to make some tea. She felt surprisingly shaky.

  The phone rang as she passed through the hall and she swerved automatically to answer it. Thinking it might be Slade to apologise for his abrupt departure, her hand trembled as she picked it up. Then dismay and disappointment hit her as she realised it was Matt.

  'You—you're early!' she stammered.

  'Not that early!' He sounded slightly stiff and as puzzled by her confused state as he had been the night before. 'I've been trying to find Slade. He isn't at the works and his mother says he's been out all night.'

  'I—well, he isn't here!' she continued stammering, though her voice strengthened as she believed she was speaking truthfully.

  'I just thought he might have told you where he was going,' said Matt in lighter tones.

  'Sorry,' she breathed. 'Is it something urgent?'

  'Not that urgent,' he hedged. 'I'm seeing him after lunch, but I know he has other appointments this morning and it was just a point I wanted to make before he gets tied up.'

  'I'm sure you'll find him somewhere.'

  'Yes,' said Matt. 'It's a lovely morning.'

  'Lovely!' she agreed, unable to understand the enthusiasm in her voice until she realised it was partly hysteria. Slade had told her ruthlessly to break her engagement, but somehow she couldn't. Not over the phone!

  'I'll see you tonight, definitely!' Matt promised as he said goodbye.

  Carefully Lee ran a finger over the receiver as she put it down, removing a speck of dust, then she nearly dropped it as she heard a noise and swung round to find Slade standing behind her. 'W-what a fright you gave me!' she gasped, face white. 'I thought you'd gone?'

  'So it seems!' he snapped, his eyes resting on her icily.

  For some reason he was in a rage. It mightn't be obvious to a stranger, but she knew all the signs. 'Where have you been?' she exclaimed.

  'I was putting my car out of sight as you're always so careful of your reputation,' he drawled sarcastically, 'Now I think I know why.'

  'Why…?' she repeated, staring at him blankly.

  'That was Matt, wasn't it?' he rasped.

  'Looking for you.'

  'So,' the harsh note in his voice made her move back slightly, 'why didn't you tell him you no longer want to marry him?'

  He must have been standing behind her all the time! 'How could I, over the phone?' she protested, thrusting her masses of red hair nervously off her small, pale face. 'I surely owe him more
consideration than that?'

  Slade's sensual lips tightened to a hard, straight line before he spoke. 'Whichever way you do it couldn't be any worse than letting him go on living in a fool's paradise!'

  'Give me a chance!' she cried, with a mixture of pleading and indignation. 'I didn't have time.'

  'I'm sure you had,' he said furiously, his arms snaking out to draw her to him so that every inch of her fragile body was crushed against the hardness of his. Then, as she whispered another protest, he began kissing her until Matt's image faded and she began feeling faint.

  Slade hadn't finished. Raising his head, he glared down on her flushed cheeks and bruised mouth. 'If you imagined I might have changed my mind about your engagement to Matt this morning, then you're wrong. You belong to me!'

  Tears entered her eyes. 'I don't really belong to anyone, do I?'

  He frowned a little at the bitterness in her voice. 'Not in the way most women appear to believe imperative for their pride and peace of mind, but nothing could chain us more securely together, Lee, than the ties we already have.'

  'You only want my body,' she whispered, despairing at his sheer indifference as to what really mattered to her.

  'It's a very beautiful body,' he teased, easing her from him slightly to allow his dark glance to slide appreciatively over her. 'I may have my faults, but you can't fault my taste.'

  'Only your intentions,' she retorted sharply.

  A hint of wariness flickered through his eyes. 'They've always been as honourable as you deserve. I don't think you've any reason to complain.'

  'Don't you?' she replied mutinously, thinking of all she was being forced to give up.

  Reading her mind, he taunted dryly, 'Come now, Lee. Is it my fault that you saw the future in terms of total unreality? As I've told you before, a husband would suit you no more than a wife would suit me.'

  'And I've told you I've changed!' she snapped back, pulling herself out of his arms. 'I love Matt and did intend making him a good wife. He may not have got on in the world like you have, but at least he's got more integrity in his little finger than you have in the whole of your body. You're completely unprincipled.'

  Slade's scorn turned to anger. 'If I'm unprincipled then it's a case of the pot calling the kettle black! You can still say you love Matt after spending the night in my arms. If that's the measure of a woman's love,' he continued harshly, 'then heaven preserve me from it!'

  Lee's head drooped as she turned from the derision in his eyes. Tears began streaming down her cheeks, but a thread of fury enabled her to retort, 'While I'll admit there's still something between us, you intentionally took advantage of my weakness just to gain your own ends. You came here deliberately to destroy my engagement, otherwise I would certainly never have sought you out and betrayed Matt with you.'

  As she began to sob in earnest, his face darkened. 'What happened last night was inevitable, you know that, though it was never my deliberate intention to make love to you. I prefer to believe that I came to save Matt from the clutches of a woman who could never make him happy.'

  'What makes you presume I couldn't make him happy?' she cried.

  'Because of the way you respond to me,' he said derisively.

  'You made me!' she half screamed, her voice rising as she faced him wildly. 'Even in the beginning. You blackmailed me…'

  'Lee, for heaven's sake!'

  She slapped away the calming hand he would have laid on her shoulder. 'Don't touch me!' she choked. 'I hate you. I just want you to keep away from me. I never want to see you again!'

  Grinding his teeth, he brooded over her small, heaving figure. 'You won't feel like that for long. Once you come to your senses, you'll be grateful…'

  'How dare you!' she broke in. 'I won't listen!' Fury lending wings to her feet, she glared at him as she fled upstairs. 'Just get out of here, Slade Western, and if you. ever come back I'll call the police!'

  She heard the front door slam with a crash that seemed to shake the whole house on its foundations as she threw herself across her bed. Slade had gone, but she was too full of misery to care. He had achieved what he had come for, so he couldn't complain. If he was angry that she hadn't completely succumbed to his charms, no doubt he would get over it. Nothing daunted him for long; she had ordered him out, but he would be laughing over it by now. He would regard her as a nuisance successfully got rid of, and would probably be trying to decide which of his beautiful girlfriends to take out to dinner.

  Lee groaned, trying not to notice the horrible black jealousy that swept over her as she thought of him dining with another woman. It had been easier to send him away than it was to banish him from her thoughts. Feverishly she clasped her hands together and found she couldn't even rely on the comfort of her engagement ring any more. Slade had removed it through the night, flinging it over the room as if he couldn't bear to see it on her finger any longer. She had been going to look for it this morning, to put it somewhere safe until she could give it back to Matt, but somehow she had forgotten all about it. Now the bareness of her left hand both taunted and reproached her as she recalled Slade's derisive words. If she had loved Matt how could she have let Slade make love to her? Unfortunately she loved the wrong man!

  She wasn't aware that Slade was standing looking at her until he spoke. She was so utterly distraught and sobbing so loudly that it was several seconds before his voice penetrated through the abandoned noise she was making. When it did, she gasped and buried her head in a pillow, rather than let him see her tear-drenched face.

  'I didn't want to give you another fright,' he said tautly, and she felt the bed give to his weight as he sat down beside her.

  Why had he come back? He sounded as if something had driven him back against his will. Whatever it was must have had a pretty powerful effect, for there had been anger in the force with which he had slammed the front door.

  'I told you…' she choked.

  'Hush!' She suddenly felt herself lifted into his arms with her hot face pressed to the smoothness of his shirt while one of his hands caressed the back of her head and neck. 'Hush,' he said again, his voice oddly uneven, 'Did you really believe I could go away, leaving you like this?'

  With an effort she controlled her sobs, but rejected an inclination to cling to him. 'What difference can it make?' she whispered.

  'I'm not sure,' he sighed, resting his cheek on the top of her head as he folded her closer. 'I only know I couldn't bear seeing you so upset. I can't promise we might reach a better understanding.'

  'How could we reach a better understanding,' she countered bitterly, 'when you're so determined to destroy what little happiness I have left?' 'That's the last thing I'd want to do.' 'You came here for that sole purpose.' 'No, Lee.' As if frustratingly seeking a more explicit way to deny it, he released her gently and stood up to pace to the window before returning to her side. This time, as Lee huddled against her pillows, she didn't try and hide her swollen face, but surprisingly he didn't appear to find anything wrong with it. With her hair all tumbled, her robe rumpled, she must have looked in a total state of dishevelment, yet he was staring at her with all the admiration in his eyes that had been evident when she had been dressed in her best to go out with him in New York. And there was something else that might easily have been mistaken for tenderness. She wondered if he was aware of it.

  At last he broke the strained silence. 'I'm not completely sure why I came here last night, Lee. There are some things I don't know the answer to myself, but I'm not so hardened that I enjoy making anyone miserable.'

  She stared at him, swallowing another sob. This was probably as near to an apology as he would ever get. She tried to accept it but couldn't. 'Wouldn't it be nearer the truth to say you came back to gloat? There can't be many as easily duped as I've been.'

  'Lee!' he said, with a harshness that betrayed a certain reluctance. 'I'll admit, when I returned here, it was for the sole purpose of destroying your engagement to Matt. It was quite a shock to discover
I still wanted you for myself. Even then, I wasn't going further than a few kisses.'

  'Then why did you?' she gulped.

  'Why did I?' he frowned, as if he was asking himself the same question. 'I suppose, after I kissed you, I saw no reason to deny myself and things got out of control.' His eyes smouldered as they lingered on the softness of her lips, then moved slowly to the fulness of her breasts, clearly outlined under the thinness of her robe. 'You don't realise how beautiful you are, Lee. You've been in my blood ever since I first saw you. I've wanted you ever since.'

  'You used blackmail to get me, five years ago.'

  He stared into her accusing eyes. 'I wanted you insanely, my love, and I've always been an opportunist. You were a thief, and there was plenty of evidence to suggest you'd been involved with other men. I thought what I was offering was, on the whole, extremely generous.'

  'I wasn't a thief,' uneasily she bit a lip, 'only I couldn't tell you.'

  He watched her carefully. Lee wasn't aware that her eyes were almost convincing him she was telling the truth but that his knowledge of women had taught him to be wary. 'You could have challenged me to do my worst,' he said dryly.

  'You could have sent me to prison!'

  He smiled. 'You must have realised I wouldn't do that. That was why I was almost certain you came to me willingly.'

  It was too near what she suspected herself to think about. Instead she hid her confusion with more accusations. 'When I lived with you, you watched me all the time. You never trusted me, not even with other men.'

  He drew a deep breath and his jaw tensed. 'I knew there hadn't been anyone before me, although it was a shock to discover you were a virgin, but after we were together, Lee, you developed quite an appetite for making love. I'd never known a more passionate woman. I couldn't believe you'd be satisfied with only me.'

  'There's just been one man in my whole life,' she cried, mortified that he should think such vile things of her. Her face flushed, she choked. 'Not even Matt…'

  'I know!' he threw up an almost pleading hand. 'After the first shock had worn off, your innocence pleased me greatly. It still does, all these years later, to find you've belonged only to me. As for not trusting you, otherwise—well, what would you expect?' he shrugged. 'Having caught you trying to steal my mother's jewellery, or at least knowing you'd been tempted to, I tried to make sure, for both our sakes, that it didn't happen again.'

 

‹ Prev