Impasse

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by Margaret Pargeter


  CHAPTER FIVE

  Lee stared at him, eyes filled with remembered anguish. 'You don't know what your constant suspicion did to me. That and the position I was in.'

  Slade sat on the bed beside her again and stroked her hand. 'We were two people living together, Lee, there's nothing so terrible about that. If you'd been older you wouldn't have felt as you did. You certainly wouldn't have run away.'

  'Did you ever look for me?' she asked suddenly.

  'Look for you?' he repeated carefully, avoiding her unconsciously eager glance. 'I believe I made one or two enquiries, but it seemed better to let you go, as that was obviously what you wanted.'

  Was the sudden pallor of his face relevant? Lee thought not. It more likely had to do with the fact that he'd been travelling almost non-stop for the last few days and it was just catching up on him.

  'Well,' she said heavily, 'that's all behind me now, though it hasn't been easy.'

  He nodded understandingly. 'I can imagine these past few years haven't been easy, but I intend making it up to you. You would never have been happy with Matt, but that doesn't mean you have to be deprived of a man again.'

  Flushing with indignation, she frowned at him. 'I don't think I like the sound of that!'

  'Maybe I put it rather indelicately,' he smiled expansively. 'I'm talking about you and me.'

  Her frown turned to a glare. Slade was impossible, conceited and arrogant. How had she ever come to love him? He might be proposing, but it was doubtful—he valued his freedom too much. 'What do you mean— you and me?'

  'Just that.' Confidently, he lifted her hand to his lips. Over her taut knuckles he stared straight into her eyes. 'I want you, Lee, more than ever, and I'm going to be here for several weeks. I intend seeing you whenever I can spare the time.'

  She had underestimated his conceit! 'Could you manage every night?' she asked silkily, retrieving her hand.

  'I don't see why not. And sometimes through the day,' he grinned, the prospect clearly pleasing him.

  Lee ground her teeth in fury. 'You can go to hell!' she said, very slowly and distinctly.

  'That's not very ladylike,' he reproved mildly, to Lee's chagrin not taking her seriously.

  'When did you ever think I was a lady!' she shouted.

  'Lee…!'

  'If you had, you wouldn't be making such a proposition.'

  'You're an odd mixture, aren't you?' he quirked wryly. 'So strait-laced in some ways and anything but in others.'

  'I'm probably just normal,' she retorted, her anger increasing as she felt her cheeks growing hot. 'But I don't want to live with you again. I don't want that kind of relationship any more. I don't think I ever did. It was forced on me!'

  Slade sighed at her outburst but still refused to take her seriously. 'I'll give you anything you want. You can't deny I've always been extremely generous. You never lost anything.'

  'Only my self-respect!'

  'You're exaggerating,' he said, with a little less patience.

  'No, I'm not!' she denied fiercely. 'And if I was fool enough to see you while you're here, what happens when you go away? You'll forget all about me again.'

  'It won't be like that,' he argued, eyes darkening.

  'You will come with me. We can travel all over the world, as we did before.'

  Wildly she shook her head. 'It would never work,' she cried. 'You don't even love me!'

  He frowned. 'I have a certain feeling for you, Lee.'

  'But—not love?'

  His face closed, as she had known it would, but he moved determinedly nearer, clasping her shoulders this time, instead of her hands. 'What we have, my darling, will hold us together better than this other foolish emotion you talk of. It's far stronger, for one thing.'

  'How do you know?'

  'I can prove it to you,' he insisted, his eyes beginning to smoulder.

  'No!' She wriggled to escape, wishing her heart wouldn't beat so crazily whenever he touched her. 'I don't want to listen to you. I wish you'd leave. This conversation is getting us nowhere.'

  He laughed lightly and bent his head, brushing his mouth over angry lips. 'You have no choice but to listen to me, my sexy little wildcat. I refuse to let you go.'

  'Stop it, Slade!' she cried, twisting away frantically before he had her senses whirling. 'I don't want you!'

  'Of course you do,' he murmured, pulling her back to him remorselessly, his lips grazing the side of her cheek as she furiously turned her head and settling against her earlobe. Strange darts of fire began running down her neck, connecting with places she didn't want to think of, but when she began beating at him with her fists, his only reaction was to begin kissing her in earnest.

  As familiar sensations started flooding through her, Lee might have given in at once if she hadn't been so incensed at the way he used brute force to override her objections. She tried to insert her hand between them to push him away, but he controlled her wild struggles with an ease that had her clawing hysterically at his face and shoulders.

  With a half strangled oath, his amusement faded and he flung himself on top of her, pressing down on her until she lay in a breathless state of acquiescence beneath him.

  'I hate you!' she moaned.

  He laughed mockingly. 'Let me show you how much!'

  She could have hit him as his mouth passionately assaulted hers and he proved beyond doubt what she didn't want to believe. She didn't hate him, she wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her, and she shivered with despair as she felt the violent stirrings of desire again. When he lifted his head to let them both breathe, she was wildly flushed and trembling, with her arms around his neck in a feverish grip.

  'What did I tell you?' he murmured, eyes alight with satisfaction.

  Numbly she gazed at him as he began slowly slipping the robe from her shoulders, his intentions very obvious as the extent of his arousal became clear to her. 'Slade,' she gasped, 'we can't! Your work—you must have people to see…'

  'It's Saturday, my love,' he said thickly, devouring her with his eyes as her robe hit the floor. 'I have no definite appointments, apart from Matt, this afternoon. If I had, they could go to hell as far as I'm concerned. You're far more important.'

  'But…'

  'Be quiet,' he retorted, his voice ragged as he threw off his own clothes. 'I don't want to talk about it. We've better things to do.'

  This wasn't sensible! Lee shuddered. Why couldn't she say no to him and mean it? Tears of frustration ran down her cheeks and she quivered as he kissed them away. His mouth was tender and moist, consuming her with rapture until her head became cloudy and only filled with the impatience of waiting. She trembled as his hand stroked her hip and thigh, increasing her sense of longing. With shaking fingers she began helping him to remove his shirt, returning his kisses passionately between the releasing of each button. Their eyes met and held, savouring the exquisite torture of ecstasy delayed, their bodies at a fever-pitch of wanting.

  He leaned across her, his hard chest solid against her yielding softness, and as he rolled her into his arms she gloried at her ability to excite this man and that he could still give her so much pleasure. He held her tightly until her body blazed from the heat of his and she flung her arms around his neck again, wildly whispering his name.

  His mouth found hers with almost savage force as he finally claimed her and they began moving together in a primitive rhythm that was soul-shaking in its very intensity. Lee felt she must surely be consumed by the tension within her, until such feelings were shattered and dwarfed by the ultimate ones of devastating ecstasy.

  Later they drank tea together in the kitchen and ate toast. It wasn't surprising that they were hungry as they had both discovered they had had nothing to eat since the day before. Slade confessed that he had had dinner, but Lee hadn't. There wasn't time for anything more substantial as Slade, despite his recent denial, had remembered a midday appointment and Lee recalled having promised to visit the Mansfields for coffee.

 
; 'I'm going to be late!' she exclaimed, hurrying to the garage with Slade strolling beside her.

  'Does it matter?' he muttered, reluctant to let her out of his sight. 'Why don't we just drop everything and go to Paris for the weekend?'

  'Non, monsieur,' she replied in her quick French which, for some reason, had always amused him. She was determined not to be enticed. Did he still remember the enchantment of Paris? He had once said he had never realised its magic until he had been there with her.

  He didn't seem too disturbed by her refusal. 'We can go another time,' he smiled, clearly believing she was now his to command exactly as he liked.

  Firmly she shook her head, ignoring his look of frowning disbelief as she briefly reiterated what she had said earlier. 'Please don't argue, Slade,' she begged. 'There isn't time, and I won't change my mind.'

  'I don't care about the time, or how long it takes!' he retorted curtly, his arms shooting out to swing her around to him as they entered the old tile-roofed garage. 'What sort of a woman are. you?' he jeered. 'Five minutes ago you were begging me not to leave you. Now you don't want to see me again.'

  She flushed and stared at the worn stone floor, wishing he would at least try and understand. Of course, the thing was, he didn't want to understand! He knew she couldn't resist him when he got this close, but he would rather believe she was wanton…

  Anger returning, she flung back her head. 'I won't be your mistress, Slade.'

  'Don't you think you should think it over?' he smiled, his glance softer, as though her tempestuous beauty wouldn't allow him to be annoyed with her for long.

  She stared at him, mutely shaking her head. If only he wasn't so good-looking, she thought. Why did this one man contain so much magnetism for her that though she had so recently been in his arms, she yearned to be in them again?

  'We could have a wonderful time, my darling.' The confidence in Slade's voice increased as he saw her falter. 'How about a few weeks in the Caribbean?'

  'Shut up! Be quiet!' she cried wildly, putting her hands over her ears to drown anything more out, while her blue eyes turned purple and sparked at him feverishly. 'I won't be bought, I tell you! You can keep your money!'

  'Diamonds—furs?' he tempted, wrenching her hands away, forcing her to listen. 'Once you couldn't get enough of them, so what's bugging you?'

  'You are!' she choked. 'You come here with your arrogant ways and think you can order me around and treat me like dirt. If you believe I'm not good enough for your cousin, why should you contaminate yourself by having another affair with me?'

  His face hardened. 'I hope this childish display of temper doesn't mean you intend carrying on with your engagement?'

  Lee wished she could say it did. 'No,' she said tightly, 'I promised I'd tell Matt and I will, as soon as I can.'

  His narrowed eyes studied her beautiful but wilful face for several moments before seeming satisfied. 'You can get rid of that deplorable machine, too,' he nodded towards her motorcycle, 'as soon as you like. Otherwise I'll do it for you.'

  Lee blinked incredulously. The power he thought he had over her was going to his head! 'You can't dictate my whole life!' she snapped, reaching deliberately for her helmet.

  His temper rose as swiftly as her own. 'Your grandfather ought to have had his brains examined for buying it for you!'

  Lee jumped quickly to her grandfather's defence. 'He didn't buy it specially for me,' she explained resentfully. 'It belonged to one of his Italian waiters who got a phone call one day to say his father was seriously ill and he asked Grandfather to loan him some money so he could fly home. He promised to pay it back, but we never saw him again. He did write, though, telling Grandfather he could keep the bike.'

  'Which he should have sold or given to charity, rather than let you have it.'

  'I was very young, Slade,' she said shortly, 'And I only rode it over the fields. It was fun, and Giulio had taught me.'

  'Even at that age,' Slade scorned, 'you were twisting men around your little finger.'

  'But not you,' she couldn't help remarking.

  His eyes darkened. 'I'd like to believe it.'

  Lee was anxious to leave him, she had no wish to prolong such a conversation. She hadn't used the Honda again until her grandfather died, when the terrible anguish of losing not only Slade but her grandfather as well had really begun hitting her. She had found that the concentration required to ride it safely had helped to give her temporary respite from her grief. Then, when she had started to look for material to illustrate her books, she had used it to reach places not readily accessible by road. Sandra had liked to come with her occasionally, when she had the day off and Julia was working, but she seemed to have lost her enthusiasm for such outings since Lee had got engaged to Matt. Lee didn't know why she was taking it to The Willows, this morning, when she had intended using her car. Slade's scathing remarks might have something to do with it, but she had no intention of changing her mind. It was important that he realised that any influence he had over her began and stopped with Matt.

  As she began fastening her helmet, eyes sparkling cool defiance, Slade ripped it off again. With an infuriating smile, he confiscated her spare one as well, and carrying them both, started walking towards his car, believing he was putting an effective end to any more opposition.

  Lee saw red. Jumping on to the Honda, she jerked it off its stand and kicked the starter. The engine immediately responded, allowing her to roar straight past Slade, missing him by inches. He was forced to jump out of her way and because of the two helmets he was carrying, lost his balance and fell heavily against the metal fittings of the up-and-over door.

  A feeling of fear hit Lee, but she didn't stop. He was too strong to be seriously injured by a little fall like that, and if she went back to see they would only be at each other's throats again.

  It was breaking the law as well as dangerous to ride without a helmet. When she realised what she was doing, Lee almost turned back, but the roads were deserted and if she didn't waste any time she might get to The Willows without anyone seeing her.

  She was lucky, she didn't pass a single car, and fortunately no one at The Willows witnessed her arrival. How she was going to leave, minus a helmet, she had yet to work out.

  'We'd given you up!' Dulcie complained. 'It's a good job George won't be in for lunch.'

  George owned a recording company where all his energy seemed to be spent. 'They're recording the Ice Spots,' Trigg said proudly. 'You like them, don't you, Lee?'

  'They're very popular,' hedged Lee, wondering what Slade was doing and hoping that the knock he had got on his head might have knocked some sense into it!

  'Can I go and see your bike, Lee, if I promise not to get on it?' asked Trigg, after they had all talked about the leading groups for a while and he had obviously lost interest.

  'Yes,' Lee gave her permission, having the keys in her pocket. 'As long as you're careful and your mother doesn't mind?' She took care to consult Dulcie this time.

  Dulcie shook her head, looking glad to be rid of him. She led the way to the kitchen, where she passed Lee a weak mug of coffee that tasted as if it might have been made hours ago.

  'Do you mind?' After a second unsuccessful attempt to drink it, Lee poured what was left of it down the sink, then switched on the kettle after checking that it was full of water. Reaching for the Nescafe, she said, 'I feel like something hot and strong. I'll bring you another jar.'

  'You'd better,' Dulcie grumbled. 'I'm not made of money. And you can make me another cup, too, while you're at it. I've had a terrible morning.'

  Could it have been worse than hers? Lee glanced at Dulcie ironically. But for Trigg, it was doubtful if they would have been more than passing acquaintances. They had so little in common they would never be close friends, but sometimes Dulcie had a lost look about her that seemed a curious reflection of something in herself.

  'We all have terrible mornings occasionally,' she said lightly, having no real wish to hear detai
ls of a domestic crisis which probably existed only in Dulcie's imagination.

  'Will Trigg be all right?' Dulcie asked suddenly, clearly resenting Lee's lack of immediate sympathy. 'I know I said he could look at your bike, but he's taking his time. I hope he's not up to something. Really, Lee,' she fretted, 'after what happened the other night, I do wish you'd had the sense to leave it at home!'

  'He can't come to any harm,' smiled Lee. 'I have the keys in my pocket.' She fished them out. 'See?'

  'Couldn't he hurt himself, though?'

  'I hardly think so,' Lee soothed, 'but I'll go and take a look.'

  'No!' Dulcie stopped her hastily. 'I daresay you're right, and we can have a more enjoyable chat while we're on our own.'

  Lee forbore to say it was Trigg she had come to see. The kettle boiled and she made two more mugs of coffee. It was hot this time, and while Dulcie sipped elegantly, she gulped hers down, feeling she hadn't been exaggerating when she'd said she needed it. After that last scene with Slade, she probably needed something stronger, but the coffee did help.

  Almost as if she had known Lee was thinking of him, Dulcie asked softly, 'Have you seen that gorgeous Mr Western again?'

  'Yes.' Lee would have given anything to have been able to say no.

  'I've discovered he's in electronics and he's got microchip plants all over the place.' Dulcie's smile was a mixture of awe and admiration. 'It's the up-and-coming thing, you know. I hear he's big in America.'

  'So I believe,' Lee agreed noncommittally.

  'George says he must be worth something.'

  'Probably.' Lee pretended to be bored. 'How's Trigg getting on at school?'

  Dulcie sighed impatiently but answered readily enough. 'Not bad. As soon as his health improves we're sending him to George's old one. I must admit it would be a relief. He had a bad attack yesterday and had to stay at home. I managed to get out to have my hair done, but I was worried all the time. It quite spoiled my day.'

 

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