Clash

by Charity Parkerson

  “You look so fucking sexy, wearing my name across your back,” Gavin said, fingering the jersey Michael wore that had Gavin’s name stitched across the back. “I hate to take this off, but I need your bare skin,” Gavin said, working the wet shirt over Michael’s head before coming back for more.

  Michael didn’t play. He didn’t pretend he wasn’t after everything. His hands went for Gavin’s belt, sliding the leather loose. “I’ve missed everything about you,” Michael admitted with stinging eyes and no shame. Two months ago, he would’ve eaten shit before saying those words, but now he couldn’t hold them back. Between kisses and bites, confessions continued pouring out. “You’re my biggest regret.”

  “Don’t say that,” Gavin begged, sounding desperate.

  Michael shushed him. “It’s not for what you think. I regretted all the times I told you no. You’ve lived in the back of mind, torturing me with wondering how we’d fit. If we’d be as perfect as I expected. I need to know.”

  To his surprise, Gavin stepped around him, leaving Michael staring at the man’s sexy back as he walked away. Hurt crippled him. He’d exposed his heart to Gavin. Gavin walked to the edge of the bed and turned down the covers. Michael watched it happen while still trying to grasp what was happening.

  Gavin slipped his belt loose from the loops of his jeans and tossed it aside before digging out his loose change and tossing it on the side table. Still, Michael could only watch. Gavin pulled his wallet from his back pocket before finally meeting Michael’s gaze.

  His eyebrows were raised in question as if he didn’t understand why Michael hadn’t moved. “Why aren’t you undressed and in bed yet?” Gavin said the words so calmly Michael didn’t react right away. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting. Maybe he’d thought his confession would have Gavin tossing him over his shoulder like a caveman. This was better—like Gavin felt the way Michael did—a calm acceptance they were meant to be together.

  Michael’s feet finally unglued from the floor. He toed off his shoes and unbuttoned his pants as he headed for the bed. There was no discomfort. They’d been here before. Not to mention, the way Gavin eyed him, as if he was the sexiest man on the planet, drove Michael out of his clothes faster than he thought possible. On his back and waiting, Michael watched Gavin dig a condom from his wallet before shedding the rest of his clothes. The man’s body was perfect. He’d always been. Michael hadn’t forgotten, but Gavin was larger now—more muscular. Gavin’s gorgeous gaze never wavered from Michael. Michael’s dick throbbed and ached. Each breath he took came harder than the last. He needed everything Gavin’s eyes promised.

  “This condom is lubricated, but it’s all I have with me,” Gavin said as he set one knee on the mattress and rolled the condom over his length.

  Michael gave him a short nod, letting him know he understood. His throat wouldn’t work.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” Gavin said, clarifying as if Michael’s nod hadn’t been enough.

  “My chest hurts waiting for you to decide if you want me.” Michael had no idea why he’d said such a thing. He couldn’t take the pressure of Gavin moving so slow.

  A small smile touched Gavin’s lips, making Michael’s mouth go dry. “Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you and wanted you,” Gavin said as he settled between Michael’s thighs. “I’m trying to give you one last chance to back down. You’ll always be mine, even if you never are, but after this, I won’t let you walk away again.”

  “You’ve always talked too much,” Michael said, pulling Gavin’s mouth down to his. He was past hearing speeches or being given chances. It was time for Gavin to give him everything he’d stolen.

  Gavin’s tongue toyed with his. Michael’s cock leaked on his stomach. Lust curled in his gut. There was a sexy man between his thighs and Michael wanted to feel him pressing his way inside. Unfortunately, Gavin didn’t seem to be in the same hurry. Michael moved against him, silently seeking relief. His body felt empty without Gavin’s cock filling him. Gavin’s fingertips skimmed Michael’s hip, so close to where Michael wanted to be touched. Frustration grew out of control. Michael cupped his balls and massaged, making the aggravation worse. Michael’s heels dug into the mattress. He lifted his hips, shamelessly attempting to lure Gavin inside. Instead, Gavin’s fingertip lightly traced the line between Michael’s balls and asshole. Gavin’s lips moved to Michael’s jaw.

  Michael broke as Gavin’s fingertip circled his asshole. “Jesus, you’re a tease. I thought you wanted—” Gavin pushed one finger inside, curling upward, hitting all the right places, and stealing Michael’s voice. A low moan ripped from the back of his throat.

  “Oh, shit, Mikey. You don’t know how much I’ve missed hearing you make that sound.” A much larger pressure pushed against the ring of muscles surrounding his asshole. Michael held his breath. “I wanted to go slow, but I need to hear you make that sound again,” Gavin said, forcing his way inside an inch. Michael couldn’t take it. He reached between their bodies and stroked himself. His dick needed attention. The temptation was too thick. Another moan filled the air. He was too far gone to know if he’d been the one to make the sound. Gavin’s dick stretched him wide, filling him past completion as Gavin pushed inside another inch. Michael held Gavin’s stare as Gavin finally completely impaled him. Gavin looked turned on and sexy.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful,” Michael whispered without his brain’s permission. He couldn’t help it. If he ever stopped and took a moment to be honest with himself, Gavin had ruined him for all others a long time ago. He’d never looked at another soul and found them as Gavin’s equal. It didn’t matter this man had once broken his heart. Michael didn’t want anyone else.

  “You’ve always been it for me,” Gavin said, mirroring Michael’s thoughts so closely, he wondered for a moment if he’d spoken aloud. Michael lifted his head and kissed him. He needed to feel those words on Gavin’s tongue. Gavin rocked against him, slow and torturing. He reached between them and pushed Michael’s hand aside, claiming Michael’s erection for himself. Michael nearly came right then. There it was. The way Gavin touched him. The way Michael had never been able to recreate. It was the strength and surety of his hands. The way his fingers moved. Michael was helpless. His hips lifted, mindlessly seeking more even as his tongue tried mimicking their bodies. Gavin fucked with his head. The way he made love made Michael feel loved. His heart couldn’t detach. That love he hadn’t been able to shake, even through years apart and no hope of reconnecting, fired to life as if a single day had barely passed. Michael couldn’t breathe around the emotions choking him. His body was on fire and on edge while his mind was a mess.

  Gavin tore his mouth away and sucked on Michael’s shoulder. Pants and moans filled the room. “Fuck, baby,” Gavin groaned. “I need you to come for me. I’ve wanted this too long. Not gonna last,” he added, sounding ragged.

  The idea of pushing Gavin past desperation, turning him on like this, had the pressure building in Michael’s balls. He tried breathing through the tightening of his body. It was no use. Gavin had no mercy. He tugged Michael’s cock until the pressure was too much. An explosion of light and ecstasy shook him from the inside. Liquid heat melded their bodies together as Michael rode out the waves.

  Gavin gasped. “Holy shit, Mikey. Fuck. Goddamn.” The curses continued as Gavin pumped the condom full.

  Michael couldn’t look away from Gavin’s pleasure-filled expression. Every muscle in the man’s face had hardened as he orgasmed before going soft. Now his kiss-swollen lips and flushed cheeks completed the image. Michael knew he’d never forget. The sight was already seared into his brain. If they never touched again, he finally had his biggest dream come true. Gavin had looked at him as if he loved him too.

  Holding Michael was heaven. It was everything he’d dreamed it would be. Michael kept stroking his arms and Gavin fought to stay awake. As the exhaustion and peace settled over him, Gavin’s mind drifted. Memories rolled in.

 
; The itch beneath his skin was especially bad tonight. Coach had a girl he wanted Gavin to meet. Apparently, she was some famous football player’s niece who’d just moved to town. She didn’t know anyone. It seemed his dad didn’t know anyone either because he’d chosen Gavin to take her out this weekend. There was a sickness in the pit of his stomach. What if this was finally the time Michael broke? One of these days, it would happen. No one in their right mind would put up with as much as Michael did. When Michael finally decided he was done with Gavin, it would kill him. What would happen to him when no one saw him any longer? Would he disappear?

  He stubbed his toe as he headed to Michael’s bed in the dark. Even though he could barely see, he saw Michael jump, as if Gavin had woken him.

  “Sorry,” Gavin whispered into the darkness.

  Michael moved over, making room for him in the bed. Gavin didn’t waste any time climbing beneath the covers and snuggling close. He could tell by the Michael’s deep breathing that he was more asleep than awake. That was fine. Gavin just needed to hold him. Smell his skin. As his nose touched the side of Michael’s neck and his familiar scent filled Gavin’s nostrils, the backs of Gavin’s eyes stung. It hurt more than he could voice, knowing he wouldn’t get to keep the only person who mattered. Gavin hated himself more in that moment than he ever had. He hated his life. When Michael dumped him, maybe he’d drive his truck off a cliff. He didn’t want to be invisible anymore.

  Gavin buried his nose against Michael’s throat and inhaled, as he’d done that night. Funny how not much had changed. Michael was still the only person who saw him or cared. Things were different now. He could and would be the person Michael deserved.

  “You smell like this dream I had once,” Gavin said. He felt Michael’s lips shape a smile against his shoulder.

  “Was it a good dream?”

  Gavin inhaled again, trying to memorize every detail. “The best fucking dream in the world,” Gavin admitted as sleep tried pulling him under. “You were there,” Gavin confessed before moving even closer to Michael and letting the world fall away.

  Michael couldn’t sleep. He equally couldn’t spend the entire night staring at Gavin like a lovesick puppy while Gavin slept. You were there. Those words kept floating through Michael’s mind. It was taking every ounce of his restraint not to wake Gavin and steal another moment of his time. He’d stared at Gavin like this while he slept more times than he could count. It used to be so he could keep him safe…

  A loud bang startled Michael from his dreams. He automatically moved over, making room for Gavin. The moment Gavin gathered him into his arms, Michael’s heart ached. Gavin was having one of his nights—one of his bad moments. Michael could practically feel the hurt rolling off him in waves. This was why he let this sneaking around go on. He knew in his heart, if Gavin had any other choice, he’d treat Michael like a king. It was in the way he held Michael sometimes—like his life was ending because he knew they were only temporary. And Michael didn’t doubt for a moment they were temporary. That never stopped Michael from dreaming.

  After rolling to his side, Michael held Gavin closer and massaged every place he could reach, trying to ease his inner pain. He couldn’t change things, but he could hold Gavin and give him hope. “What if we ran away?”

  “Where would two teenagers go?” Gavin asked, sounding defeated.

  “Not now,” Michael clarified. “In a few months, we’ll both be eighteen. Less than a month after that, we’ll graduate. Let’s pick a college a thousand miles from here. We could get a small apartment.”

  “I could paint while you study to get your law degree,” Gavin said, adding to the fantasy.

  “Once I have it, I’d make enough to support us while you open your own studio,” Michael said, smiling against Gavin’s chest.

  Gavin kissed his forehead. His lips lingered against Michael’s skin. “You make everything better.”

  Moments like these made everything bearable. Being held by Gavin made everything worthwhile.

  That was still true. With a sigh, Michael leaned over the edge of the bed and dug through his clothes until he found his phone. Unfortunately, not sleeping was a familiar state for Michael. Luckily, he had a bullshit game to focus on instead.

  MichaelThePA: I see you cleared out the last of the enemies around the camp.

  Gavin’s phone lit up on the bedside table, catching Michael’s eye. He tried ignoring it. It wasn’t any of his business who was calling in the middle of the night. At least, that was what he told himself. Otherwise, he might have to wake Gavin and kill him.

  He checked on his game again. No response from #1HatTrick. Michael checked the time. It was one in the morning. No wonder the dude wasn’t answering. Michael was the crazy one in this equation. Still, he messaged him again.

  MichaelThePA: Sorry. I guess you’re sleeping.

  Gavin’s phone lit again. Michael’s gaze slid between their phones. That was odd. Michael did it again.

  MichaelThePA: I didn’t realize how late it is.

  Sure enough, Gavin’s phone lit again. That was too much to be a coincidence. Something niggled at the back of his mind. Michael clicked on #1HatTrick’s avi picture. On his phone, it was too small to see it clearly without clicking on it and making it bigger. It just looked like a glob of colors. When the picture expanded, Michael’s breath caught. He’d known when he’d gone through Gavin’s sketchbook that the picture of the warrior elf looked familiar. It was the same avi he was looking at now. Everything clicked. Gavin held the number one spot in hat tricks in the league, nearing breaking the record. He couldn’t fucking believe it. Without thought, he punched Gavin in the arm.

  “Oh my fucking God. You’re #1HatTrick.”

  Gavin jumped a foot, gasping as if ripped from a deep sleep. “What the fuck?”

  Michael didn’t back down. “That’s my question. What the actual fuck? You’re #1HatTrick.”

  “Oh,” Gavin said, settling back down. He snagged Michael around the waist and tucked him underneath his large body, ensuring Michael couldn’t get away.

  “Don’t ‘oh’ me and then settle down to cuddle like nothing happened. We’ve been messaging through this game for almost a year now.”

  Gavin held him tighter, making it harder and harder for Michael to be upset. “Settle down, baby. I’ll tell you the story.”

  In spite of himself, Michael found himself snuggling even closer. “Okay.” Gah. He hated how calm he sounded.

  “A year or so ago, I was standing in Otto’s coffee house.”

  “Hey, I go there all the time,” Michael said, interrupting.

  Gavin squeezed him and he fell silent. “Anyhow,” Gavin said, trying to take back the conversation. “I was staring at the sign, trying to decide what I would get, even though I always get the same thing and, I swear, I smelled you. No matter how much time we’ve been apart, you’ve been in my head, and I knew it was you before I dropped my gaze and spotted that sexy freckle on the back of your neck. I couldn’t believe it. You had your head bowed, staring down at your phone. There were literally only inches between our bodies. It was like nothing had changed. I had to fight the urge to drop my lips to your neck and kiss that freckle, the way I always do.”

  “Awww,” Michael said, hating himself for being moved so easily.

  “Obviously, I couldn’t do that,” Gavin said, staying on topic despite Michael’s interruption. “But I was overwhelmed by how much I still wanted you in just one glance. So I watched you. You were playing some game on your phone, and you never noticed me. After you left, I couldn’t shake it. While still sitting there at a table in the coffee shop, I pulled out my phone, downloaded the game, and searched the username I’d seen on your phone. It took me two weeks of nonstop playing to get myself in a position to approach you. I didn’t really have a plan,” Gavin said, sounding as if he was lost in thought. “All I knew was—it was a connection to you. I held on to it and waited.”

  Michael tensed. “Why do I get the
feeling there’s more?”

  “Because you know I’m insane for you,” Gavin said with a laugh.

  “Oh,” Michael said lamely. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear more. The last thing he wanted was for something to come between them right when they were finding their way back.

  “I’ll stop if you don’t want to hear more.”

  Michael searched his heart. Did he want to know? Yes, he did. So far, he wasn’t creeped out or feeling betrayed. In fact, he was a little flattered Gavin had done so much to get close to him again. “Don’t stop,” Michael begged.

  He felt Gavin smile against his throat. “You asked for it. After a few months, I finally had you telling me a few personal details, and I realized we knew some of the same people. I started finding ways to spend more and more time with those people, hoping to run into you. Then, you showed up at Kieran’s house. My patience paid off.”

  Michael tried to think of something to say but couldn’t. The moment he’d realized #1HatTrick was Gavin, Gavin could’ve tried lying, but he hadn’t. He owned up to everything. Michael was a bit twisted when it came to Gavin. He wanted to be the man’s crazy obsession. It warmed his insides.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  Gavin’s question came out sounding so insecure, there was no way Michael could get angry. “I always knew there was something about #1HatTrick. He felt too much like a real friend even though we’d never met. I’m not surprised it’s you. You’ve always been the same—too much like a real friend, no matter what.”