No Time for Apologies: No Brides Club, Book 5

by Gordon, Jean C.

  Her stomach knotted in a fear she couldn’t identify.

  * * *

  Jon couldn’t tell if he was relieved or irritated that his grandfather and Dottie caught up with him and Kate as they were leaving the Humane Society booth. Their kiss had rocked him to his foundation and added fuel to the argument that he was falling for Kate—hard. Falling in a way far beyond the torch he carried for her in high school. Beyond anything he’d experienced as an adult. But the way Kate had gone from the woman who’d seemed to melt into his kiss to the tense distant person walking beside him had rocked him, too, and not in a good way. He wanted to talk with her privately, but feared what she might say,

  “What have you got there?” his grandfather asked.

  “Cats,” Kate said with strained cheerfulness. Or his old-time insecurities were surfacing to make it sound strained to him.

  “Sisters. One for your house and one for me,” she continued.

  “Scarlet and Crimson,” Jon added.

  “Let me see,” Dottie said.

  Jon lifted his carrier to her eye level.

  “Pretty animal.”

  “Kate’s cat looks just like her,” he said. “Hope you don’t mind if we skip staying for the fireworks. I’m not sure how the cats would be.”

  “Fine with me,” his grandfather said.

  “Me, too.” A chime from Dottie’s cell phone interrupted the conversation. She pulled her phone out of her bag and frowned. “It’s a text from Gavin, says urgent.” She tapped the screen and her eyes grew wide. “We need to leave now. He heard on his scanner that the fire department was called to your place.”

  “The barn?” Jon asked. He’d talked to Grandpa and Gavin about leaving rags with linseed oil on them in the barn.

  “It doesn’t say. Should I call him?” Dottie asked.

  “No, we’d better just go. You can call him in the car.”

  Kate reached over and squeezed the top of his closest hand, the hand holding the cat carrier, dissolving part of the lump in his throat.

  Jon made it back to the farm in record time. The volunteer fire company’s fire chief’s pickup and two fire trucks were there. He couldn’t see any flames, although from what he could tell, firefighters were still spraying water on the back of the house.

  The chief walked over to Jon’s car as he got out. “We have the fire out. We’re just dousing some hot spots. A kitchen fire, maybe electric.”

  Jon had been after his grandfather to have the house wiring updated. He sighed. He should have made arrangements himself. But the house was Grandpa’s. Jon only had an interest in the barn and cattle operation.

  “We limited the fire damage to the kitchen. There’s smoke and water damage. Any pets besides the dog?”

  “No just Barney,” who brushed against his leg as Jon was talking.

  The chief nodded. “We’ll finish up and come back tomorrow when we have better light to determine the cause for sure and give you a report for your insurer. You’ll need to stay somewhere else for a couple days, board off the kitchen until you can have it repaired.

  “Will we be able to go in the house tomorrow for clothes and things?”

  “You should be okay.”

  Thanks.” Jon looked to where his grandfather stood near the side of the house. He was staring at the back. Insurance flashed in Jon’s head like a neon sign. He knew there was a farm policy on the barn, farm equipment, and cattle. The bank had required it for the home equity loan, and he’d bought it himself. His grandfather must have homeowner’s insurance, too, or he wouldn’t have gotten the loan. But Jon couldn’t remember paying any premiums since he’d been overseeing his grandfather’s finances.

  He sensed Kate next to him before he saw her.

  She touched his arm. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” Somehow, her being there made him okay, even if he really wasn’t. “I don’t know about Grandpa, though.”

  “Go to him.”

  “Amy’s kitchen,” he heard his grandfather repeating as he approached him.

  “Grandpa.”

  His grandfather looked at him, his eyes watery. “After your mother finished college, I remodeled the kitchen myself.” His voice cracked. “Just like your grandmother had always wanted.”

  “It’s okay, Grandpa. We’ll redo it.” He put his arm around the older man’s shoulders and nudged him away from the house. They took a couple steps, and his grandfather stumbled. As if appearing out of nowhere, Kate was on his grandfather’s other side to help Jon catch him.

  “Are you all right?” Jon asked.

  “Yep,” his grandfather said. “Bum leg. Tripped on a rock,” he muttered.

  Dottie joined them. “I talked with the chief. You all can come and stay at my house as long as you need to. I’ve got plenty of room.”

  “Thanks,” Jon said. “The chief said we should be able to get into the house for clothes and stuff tomorrow. Go back to the car, and I’ll tell the chief we’re leaving.” Barney nudged his hand and whimpered.

  “Barney can come, too,” Dottie said. “I have the old dog run I’m not using that opens into the garage for shelter. Some dog food, too, in the garage, left over from Shep. The cats can come in the house.”

  “Thanks.” Jon felt like he’d said that 100 times in the last ten minutes.

  At Dottie’s, Jon got Barney settled while the others went into the house. Kate met him on the wraparound front porch.

  “Dottie’s making tea,” Kate said

  “Of course she is.” It was good to have something ordinary happening. “She makes tea for any and all occasions.”

  Kate stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his chest. He could feel her heart beating with his. “What’s that for?” he asked into her hair.

  “Because I wanted to,” she repeated his answer to his kiss earlier today, what seemed like a lifetime ago.

  Her hug was what he needed, wanted, too. For the moment, the fire, all his responsibilities, the list of things he’d have to do disappeared. There was only the woman he loved—yes, he loved her—holding him under the dusky summer sky and his heart hoping that she just might love him, too.

  Chapter 12

  Kate tried to blame her inability to fall asleep and stay asleep on Jon and his grandfather’s misfortune and staying in a strange place. But she knew that those factors were a small part of her insomnia. The real problem was that in defiance of her No Brides vow and her recent determination to keep her relationship with Jon in the friends arena until she had her promotion to fund manager, she was falling for him. Apparently, her heart was with a different program and no matter how hard she tried to push down her feeling and argue logic with them, she couldn’t do it 100%.

  She rolled over and pulled the covers over her head as if that would do anything. A knock at the door startled her upright. Jon? She wrapped her covers around herself.

  “Kate, are you awake?” Dottie’s voice came through the door. It’s eight. Jon and my grandson Gavin went over to do morning chores a while ago and should be back soon to take you to collect your things.”

  “I’m up. I’ll be out in a minute.” Or so. She rarely slept until eight, even on weekends. The rise and shine farm time ingrained in her from childhood wouldn’t let her. Kate smoothed the t-shirt from yesterday that she’d slept in and pulled on her jeans, running her tongue around her mouth. A quick shower and mouth rinse were in order. She glanced in the mirror. And her hair. She had a comb in her purse and could braid it back, although she suspected Jon preferred it down.

  Kate walked into Dottie’s kitchen feeling somewhat cleaner and groomed as Jon and Dottie’s grandson came in the outside door. Jon was as disheveled looking as she’d felt. He’d replaced his polo shirt from yesterday with a plain white t-shirt that had a smudge across the front where he must have leaned against equipment or something or wiped mud off his hand. His well-worn jeans had a hole in one knee and hung low on his slim hips. On him, disheveled looked sexy.


  “We have the okay from the fire company to go into the house, other than the kitchen,” Jon said. “Grandpa, I’ll take you and Kate over when you two are ready.”

  “You and Kate go ahead,” Pete said. “Dottie will take me over later, after church. Did you bring me some clean clothes?”

  Jon lifted the canvas travel bag he had in his hand. “I’ll clean up while Kate has her breakfast and leave the bag in the bathroom for you.”

  Kate watched him disappear through the doorway, noticing a slight slump to his broad shoulders.

  Fifteen minutes later, they were headed for the farmhouse.

  “How does the house look?” she asked when the silence in the car threatened to suffocate her.

  “Most of the downstairs has smoke damage. Some water damage in the dining room. The upstairs not so much. I opened windows in the living room, dining room, and the bedrooms, downstairs and upstairs. The breeze today will help. I’ll contact a fire cleanup and restoration outfit tomorrow. The kitchen is a total loss.”

  “And?” Kate sensed there was more.

  Jon took so long to answer that she thought he wasn’t going to.

  “I dug out Grandpa’s homeowner’s insurance policy last night. He doesn’t have full value replacement coverage and has a high deductible. You heard Grandpa say, the kitchen was last updated more than 35 years ago. The insurance isn’t going to cover much.”

  A muscle worked in Jon’s jaw, and Kate waited for him to continue.

  He cleared his throat. “When I left the private equity firm, I ploughed most of my free cash into our beef operation. It wasn’t the wisest move I’ve ever made,” he added in a voice barely above a whisper.

  Kate’s chest tightened. He was embarrassed.

  “I know most farms, especially start-ups operate on a thin margin,” she said, warmed that he was sharing this with her.

  “I have investments I could liquidate, but you know where the market is right now. I’d have to take a loss.” His voice took on a defensive tone.

  Kate touched his arm to assure him she wasn’t making any judgments.

  “Grandpa has a home equity loan on the property that he took out to pay for the new barn. A loan he can barely afford on his income. That’s why I took the job offer from DeBakker for the summer. To get ahead, possibly pay off, his loan and give Grandpa a financial cushion. Now that summer income will have to go toward repairing the house.” Jon lifted his hand from the steering wheel and ran it through his hair. “I don’t know why I’m dumping all this on you.”

  “I do,” she said. “Because you need to get it out and figured I’d understand. That I care.” She held her breath while she waited for his reaction to her words.

  He placed his hand on her knee. “Yes,” he said simply. Jon put his hand back on the steering wheel. “And I care about you, too. A lot.”

  Kate’s heart thumped against her chest.

  “This all has a point,” Jon said in a controlled voice.

  Her heart stilled. Obviously, a point other than them admitting feelings for each other.

  “Does DeBakker farm out any of its back-office work to remote employees?” he asked.

  Work. Of course, work. She was the person who’d made a vow to put work first. Why shouldn’t she expect Jon to do the same. Because I want more than just work success now. She answered her own question.

  “If so, I was thinking of checking with HR about staying on, handling back office overflow when needed from my home office in addition to teaching. Maybe that would get management off my back about taking one of the portfolio manager openings.”

  “There are two manager positions now.” Her thoughts drifted to the scenario she’d pictured the other day of him staying at DeBakker and each of them managing a fund.

  “If you’re testing whether I’m competition for your promotion, the answer is no.”

  “N-no,” she stammered. She wasn’t secure enough in her feelings or his feelings to share her daydream, or even if she’d want to have a long-term relationship with someone she worked with every day. Her stomach knotted. How had she gotten them into a long-term relationship?

  “Teaching and managing the farm is what I want to be doing.” Jon said.

  “DeBakker does use remote employees for some of its back-office work.” Kate brought herself back to safer territory.

  “Hmm?” Jon said.

  Were his thoughts somewhere else, too? “The back-office work you asked about.”

  “Right. I’ll check with HR tomorrow. But I’m looking at the back-office work, if it’s even an option in August when my statistician gig is up, as temporary until the farm business is back on its feet.”

  Kate’s imagination flitted ahead. Where would she and Jon be if they didn’t have the DeBakker connection? Focus, she admonished herself. Her primary focus should be on getting her promotion. But the closer she and Jon got, the harder it was to maintain that focus.

  * * *

  He and Kate didn’t spend much time in the farmhouse getting her things and more clothes for him, but as he started the drive back to Dottie’s with her, the stench of burned wood still seemed to fill his nostrils. Jon turned on the AC to clear the air, hopefully in more ways than one. Since they’d arrived at the farmhouse, Kate had distanced herself. Right now she was silently typing into her phone. He couldn’t figure out if it was because he and she had admitted feelings for each other, that she didn’t believe him and thought he still wanted one of the portfolio manager positions, or that she did believe him and his lack of ambition for the big bucks diminished him in her eyes.

  It was his own fault for spilling his personal financial situation instead of simply asking her what she knew about DeBakker’s back office personnel hiring practices. But then they wouldn’t have admitted their feelings, which was good. Wasn’t it?

  Kate made a grumbly sound and frowned at her phone. “I can’t find out whether I can take Scarlet with me on the train home. One place it says yes. Another it says no. In a third, it says on certain trains. Then, it doesn’t say which ones.

  “I didn’t consider that yesterday,” he said.

  “Me either.”

  “I know.” His spirits lifted at the thought. “I’ll drive you and Scarlet home. If I can use your parking privileges at your apartment building, it would be easier for me to stay in the city for a couple days until Grandpa and I can get back in the farmhouse. Not impose on Dottie, wake her up when I have to get up at the crack of dawn to make my train,” It also might give him a couple evenings with Kate after work.

  “But the expense of a hotel.”

  Jon cringed. “I didn’t mean to make my situation sound dire. It was more musing, thinking long term, and beating myself up some for not checking Grandpa’s homeowner’s insurance more closely when I took over managing his finances. He pays it annually, so it didn’t pop up on my radar when I was paying his other bills.”

  “You don’t need to explain.”

  Of course he didn’t. He was just running on again about something of no interest to Kate.

  She looked pensive. “Maybe I should take both cats until you and your grandfather are settled back in your house and the kitchen area is partitioned off.”

  “Trying to steal my cat?”

  “No. But cats can be strange about being moved to a new place. You don’t want her to get out when the restoration or remodeling people are going in and out and take off somewhere.”

  Jon released the laugh he’d been holding in, and it felt good. “I was kidding.”

  “Oh.”

  “But that’s a good idea. We’ll stop at the grocery store for whatever pet supplies you’ll need on our way. Want to get going as soon as we get back to Dottie’s and corral the cats?”

  “I want to change first, but yeah.”

  “Great. While you do that, I’ll make some calls to line up a place in the city to stay for a few days.”

  Kate bit her lower lip and released it as if she w
as going to say something, but she didn’t.

  This time he was able to keep his mouth shut and drive, even though he wanted to ask what she was thinking.

  A few minutes later, they were back at Dottie’s. Jon handed Kate her overnight bag from the back of the car, leaving his gym bag and the two suit bags with his work clothes where they were. They headed in the front door to the living room.

  “I’ll wait here,” Jon said, sliding his phone out of his pocket. He waited until she’d turned and started up the stairs to start his calls.

  “It wasn’t me. Promise.”

  Kate’s words spoken numerous-calls-to-hotels later pulled Jon’s attention from his phone.

  “What?”

  “Your expression,” Kate said. “You look like you’re ready to tear something apart.”

  He rose from the couch as she walked into the living room wearing a pair of navy pants that ended at her shapely calves—he never remembered what those pants were called—and a nautical stripped shirt. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail that swung with her steps. He ran his hand through his hair. When he’d cleaned up, he’d just traded his white t-shirt and old jeans for a colored t-shirt and an equally worn pair of jeans sans the hole in the knee.

  Jon clicked his phone screen off. “I hadn’t realized how hard it would be to book somewhere to stay on such short notice. I’ve tried everywhere I’ve stayed before and couldn’t get a room at any of them.”

  Kate looked toward the doorway to the dining room and kitchen, as if making sure they were alone, and then back at him. “I have a pullout loveseat. You could stay at my apartment for a couple of days.”

  * * *

  “Kate, Kate.” Someone gently shook her shoulder, and she jerked awake. She was in the car, Jon’s car.”

  He smiled over at her. “You fell asleep about 30 miles into the drive.”