Another yawn and I did everything in my power to hide it. Nolan noticed it, like he’d noticed the last ten.
“We’ll leave in a few minutes,” he whispered against my ear.
“I’m fine. I don’t know why I keep yawn…” My voice cut off with yet another yawn.
Damnit all to hell.
Nolan chuckled and then placed his hand on the small of my back and guided us closer to where the exit was.
“Do you know what I’m craving?” I asked in a hushed voice as Nolan moved us past two couples who smiled and nodded their hellos.
“Me?” he replied.
With a lighthearted giggle, I answered, “Yes, always. But I’m dying for some ice cream. A Heath Blizzard with extra Heath. Oh, and chocolate syrup added to it.”
Nolan looked down at me and smiled. “How about a chocolate custard cone? There’s a great place down the street from here, and they’re open late.”
“That would work,” I stated and then smiled when an older couple made their way over to me and Nolan.
“Mr. Byers, I heard you are an Air Force pilot!” the older woman proclaimed.
“Yes, ma’am,” Nolan said with his most charming smile. “I am.”
“There is something very sexy about a man who’s a pilot!”
The woman’s husband rolled his eyes as I nearly choked on my own tongue, but somehow I managed to keep it in.
Nolan, on the other hand, laughed out loud. “Have you met Linnzi Cunningham?” he asked.
They both turned to me, and we exchanged greetings. A part of me wished Nolan was introducing me as his fiancée. I knew it was crazy to even think that way, but knowing we were engaged before the stupid accident, and now pretending like we weren’t, was slowly starting to bother me. I mean, were we still engaged? Were we not? Would Nolan have to propose to me all over again? It wasn’t like he could take back his original proposal, right? Gahhh, so many variables to our relationship. When the couple walked away, I turned to Nolan. I had no idea where it came from, but I word vomited on him.
“Why aren’t you introducing me as your fiancée?”
Nolan’s eyes went wide with shock, and he opened and closed his mouth several times before he asked, “What?”
I drew in a deep breath through my nose and said, “Did we break off the engagement? Is that what we need to discuss?”
He shook his head. “No, I told you, we were going to be married that weekend, but the accident prevented it.”
His voice trailed off, and that distant look slowly crept into his eyes once more.
“Then why are we pretending like we’re not engaged. Do you still want to marry me?”
Oh Lord. Where was this coming from? My emotions were all over the place. Linnzi, stop this. Now.
Nolan took my arm at my elbow and guided me to a quiet spot. “Of course I do, Linz. A lot has happened over the last eight years, and I didn’t want to assume we would just pick up right where we left things.”
“You,” I said. I was taken aback by the coldness in my own voice.
“Excuse me?” he asked, a confused look on his face.
“Where you left off. Because clearly you remembered me after the accident, but I didn’t remember you. And you decided not to remind me who you were. So, there isn’t a we, it’s only…you.”
The moment the words were out and I saw the devastation on his face and that all-too-familiar look of pain in his eyes, I regretted my words. Nolan cleared his throat and looked around the room.
“I’m…I’m sorry, Nolan. I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean any of it.”
He pressed his lips into a tight line. All he offered was one small nod. “We should go get that ice cream and then head on home.”
I closed my eyes and cursed myself. What in the world had come over me just then? “Nolan…”
“Don’t, Linnzi. Please. Don’t.”
I clamped my mouth shut and allowed him to guide me over to where Truitt and Saryn were. They were obviously attempting to leave as well.
“We’re going to head out,” Nolan said as he and Truitt exchanged a look that said a million things between the two of them. Saryn looked at Nolan, then at me. She smiled and then leaned down and hugged me.
“This was fun! I’m glad I wasn’t the only other one here tonight.”
“You did an amazing job planning all this, Saryn. Please let me know how I can help next year.”
Her eyes sparkled like diamonds. “I will! I’d love the help!”
With a nod, I replied, “Count me in.”
Before I knew what was happening, Nolan swept us out of the room and we were standing at the valet waiting for his truck to be brought around.
Nolan cursed. “Shit, I forgot to give Truitt something. Can you go ahead and tip him for me and wait in the truck?”
“Of course,” I replied, still reeling with guilt over the words I had spoken only a few minutes ago.
I nodded and took Nolan’s wallet as he handed it to me. “It won’t take but a minute to give Truitt this check someone gave me earlier,” he said.
“Okay, no worries.”
I watched as Nolan took the steps back up two at a time and disappeared into the event center.
Glancing down the street, I waited for the valet to bring Nolan’s truck up. I opened his wallet and looked for a small bill to give the valet. I pulled out a ten and then smiled as I saw Nolan’s military ID. I ran my finger over his face and felt my heart grow bigger. I was so proud of Nolan and all that he had accomplished.
“Oh, how I do love you, Nolan Byers.”
Something was sticking out from behind the ID that caught my eye. Slipping my finger against the paper, I pulled it out.
My heart instantly felt as if it would beat out of my chest, and I had no idea why. I pushed Nolan’s ID back into its spot, and then tucked his wallet under my arm.
Slowly, I unfolded the paper and felt my entire body go cold. So cold I shook like I was standing outside in freezing temperatures, when it was actually unseasonably warm for March.
I stared down at the paper and felt my entire world flip upside down. “Oh my God.”
My hands trembled as I stared at a sonogram picture of a baby. A red heart was drawn around the baby and the words, “La bébé,” were typed on it with an arrow pointing to the little blob in the photo.
“Amanda,” I whispered as I watched a tear hit the paper. It felt like a rush of a million memories flooded my mind all at once. So overwhelming, all of it, and I swayed with the weight.
“Ma’am? Excuse me, ma’am? Are you okay?”
I jerked my head up and stared at the valet. He frowned and held out Nolan’s keys. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head and glanced back up at the doors. My lungs burned with the effort to breathe. Tears streamed down my face, and all I could think was that I needed to be alone. I needed to be alone to process all of this.
“I…I…I have to go.” My voice sounded strained.
“Excuse me?” the valet asked in a confused voice.
I quickly opened the passenger door and tossed Nolan’s wallet onto the seat.
“Tell him his wallet is in the truck.” Then I quickly ran around the truck and out into the street. I waved at an Uber driver who was most likely waiting to pick up another person. I didn’t care, I had to get out of there.
The valet called out to me as the car drove up, and I opened the back door. “Ma’am, wait! He’s right there!”
“Linnzi?”
I turned to see Nolan walking down the steps. He looked confused.
Slipping into the car, I cried, “Go. And please don’t let him follow us.”
“I don’t think you’re my ride, lady.”
He turned to look at me, and I gave him a silent plea. He nodded as he asked, “Are you okay, lady?”
“Yes,” I sobbed. “Just don’t let him follow us.”
“Um…”
“Please!” I begged as he nodded and stepp
ed on the gas.
“Should I call the police or something?”
I frantically shook my head. “No, no. I just need to get home.”
Then I looked down in my hands and gasped. I was holding the keys to Nolan’s truck. I had thrown his wallet and the sonogram picture in the passenger seat, but somehow had kept the keys. I didn’t even realize I had taken them from the valet.
“Where to?” the young man asked.
I wiped at my tears and gave him my parents’ address. I knew they wouldn’t be home since my mother had mentioned going to a friend’s house for some card night or something.
After paying him with cash and a hefty tip, I got out, kicked off my shoes, and took the steps two at a time. I put in the code and ran up the steps to the second floor, and then up to the attic. For some reason, it was the only place I could think to go. The trunk. It had been calling to me a few weeks back, and the draw was even stronger now.
Throwing open the attic door, I flipped the lights on and dashed up the steps. I looked at the locked trunk and then around at the rest of attic. I found a metal candlestick holder and started hitting the lock as hard as I could until it broke free. I pushed the lid open and then fell to my knees and started to cry even harder when I saw the contents.
“Why? Why?” I screamed out as I buried my face in my hands. The memory of holding my daughter in my arms when they said she was gone. The horrified look on Nolan’s face when he realized our daughter had died—it all hit me at once. I dropped onto my ass and wrapped my arms around my knees as I cried. I felt my entire body shake as sob after sob hit me, rocking me to the core.
Once I managed to gain control of my emotions, I looked down at what was in the trunk. A picture frame with a photo of me holding Amanda minutes after she was born, Nolan sitting next to me looking down at her. I remembered the moment like it was yesterday. I set the photo on the floor and tore through the trunk. There were clothes and toys and I nearly lost my breath when I saw a small box sitting off to the side. I reached for it, already knowing what it was. I opened it and felt my body shake once more.
My wedding band set.
A loud scream filled the attic, and for a moment I didn’t even realize it was coming from me. I was positive the neighbors could hear me a mile away.
I stood, wiped my eyes, and stumbled back. I clutched the velvet box in my hands and reached for the photo. Without any feeling in my entire body, I made my way down the steps to my room and stripped off my clothes. I put on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt and then grabbed an old gym bag and filled it with clothes and whatever else I could think to take from my bathroom. The entire time I felt like I could hardly breathe from crying so hard. With my mumbled pleas to God, I begged him to help me understand how I had mentally blocked all of this out of my mind—and why in the hell everyone had allowed me to avoid the situation. I was an emotional mess. Anger began to mix with all the other confusing emotions. I knew I needed to leave before anyone showed up. I was positive Nolan would find another way to get to me. The last thing I could do was face him.
No, I couldn’t face anyone right now. I needed to be alone. Alone so I could…so I could what? Grieve? Scream out in anger? Figure out why everyone lied to me or why I lied to myself?
I gave my head a jerky shake and drew in a deep breath. Before I headed downstairs, I ran back up to the attic and grabbed a small blanket I remembered knitting for Amanda while I was pregnant. I stuffed it into the bag with the photo, my rings, and clothes. I turned once more and ran as fast as I could down the steps of the attic, down the next flight of steps, and out my parents’ front door, dropping Nolan’s keys on the side table by the entrance as I went.
I stopped at the end of the walkway and stared. The next house down from my parents’ was a quarter of a mile, on either side. It was nothing but silence as I stared down the road. Then I did the only thing I knew how to do. After eight long years, I ran away once more. I had no destination in mind, only the desire to run. So hard and so fast my lungs burned, and soon my legs felt like jelly. Every muscle in my body ached, and I was glad for it. It dimmed the pain in my heart ever so slightly, and pulled my attention away from it breaking.
Once I’d exhausted myself and I couldn’t run another step, I pulled out my cell phone and called the only person I knew who would help me.
Nolan
WHEN LINNZI LOOKED over her shoulder at me, my heart dropped to my stomach. The anguish on her face caused me to freeze in my tracks. Then I saw the tears, and my entire world felt like it had stopped.
She got in an Uber, and it raced off down the street.
“Are the keys in the truck?” I shouted as I ran by the valet.
“Sir, wait! Sir, she has the keys!”
I skidded to a stop. “What?” I shouted.
“Um, I handed them to her, then she said she had to go and threw your wallet into the passenger seat. Maybe she threw your keys there too?”
I quickly pulled open the passenger door and nearly dropped to my knees as a sickness I hadn’t felt in eight years hit me in the stomach.
“No…” I said in a pleading voice. “Oh God…please, no.”
“Sir, are you okay? Bill, call for help! Hurry!” I heard the valet say as I felt my entire body sway.
The valet’s voice was next to me as I heard, “Shit, Bill help me!”
My vision slowly faded as my body sank down to the ground until there was nothing but darkness.
“Nolan! Nolan!”
Something hit the side of my face and then came a smell. A terrible smell, like the inside of a pig barn. My eyes flew open, and I went to sit up but groaned when everything spun out of control. Holy shit, what in the hell was happening to me? My nose felt like someone had shoved tiny knives up it.
“Whoa. Hold on there. You passed out,” Truitt said.
“W-what?” I asked, shaking my head. “What do you mean, I passed out?”
Truitt stared at me like I had lost my mind. “You passed out, I used smelling salt to get you to wake up.”
I stared at him in disbelief.
With a shake of his head, Truitt went on. “Nolan, what’s going on? The valet said Linnzi freaked out about something, took off in an Uber, and then you passed out. Where is Linnzi? Did you get into a fight? What happened?”
I pushed at him to get away from me. He was hovering over me like a damn mother hen. “Truitt! Stop fucking asking me so many questions. Help me stand up first.”
He reached out and helped me stand. I glanced around and held up my hands, forcing a smile on my face when I saw a small group of people from the dinner all standing around. It killed me to smile, because inside I was dying a slow death. But I had to play it off like it was no big deal since I was out in public. “It’s all good, sorry about that, folks. Didn’t mean to scare anyone.”
Then I saw Amy and Steve. Someone must have called them.
Shit.
“Get everyone out of here except for Amy and Steve,” I whispered to Truitt.
Truitt stepped away from me. “Everything is fine, folks. Please, head on back into the ballroom. I do believe we’ve got an announcement.”
“We do?” Saryn asked with a confused expression on her face.
“Yes.” Then Truitt leaned in and whispered something to her.
She nodded and started gathering everyone up and leading them back into the event center. “We have a big giveaway announcement, let’s all head in and see what it could be! Trust me, you won’t want to miss this,” Saryn called out as she headed back in.
Amy and Steve walked over to me, concern etched all over their faces.
“Nolan, we’ve been calling Linnzi and it’s going straight to her voicemail,” Amy said. “The valet said she got into an Uber that was waiting for someone else and it left…with her in it!”
I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger. “Give me a moment, please, Amy.”
Amy pressed her mouth tightly shut.
I drew in a shaky breath and then exhaled. “She found out,” I softly said.
“About?” Steve asked, even though we all knew what I meant.
I looked at Amy and Steve and attempted to keep my composure. “She found the sonogram picture of Amanda in my wallet.”
Amy gasped and Truitt grabbed hold of her. “How?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t know, Truitt! I asked her to get money out for the valet while I ran that check back in to you. It was behind my military ID. She couldn’t possibly have seen it unless she took my ID out.”
“Are you sure she found it?” Amy asked. I hated the fear and concern I heard in her voice.
“It was on top of my wallet. I’m thinking she might have meant to drop the keys, and instead dropped the photo.”
“It most likely triggered her memory from the way she reacted,” Truitt said.
I nodded. “We need to find her. I have no idea what kind of emotional state she’s in. She has never allowed herself to grieve Amanda’s death, and now she’s all alone.”
“Where do you think she went?” Truitt asked.
My gaze met Steve’s. “Your house,” I said.
He nodded and guided Amy toward the parking lot as he called back over his shoulder, “Have Truitt take you to the house—I’ll meet you there.”
Turning to Truitt, I went to ask him to get his truck, but he said, “I already asked them to bring it up. What about your truck?”
I searched for the valet. “Call a tow truck and have them bring it to this address.” I took a business card for the ranch out of my wallet that was still in the front seat. I handed it to the young kid and then pulled out a couple hundred dollars. “This is for you to get it taken care of as soon as possible.”
He nodded. “Yes, sir. I’ll call right now.”
When I turned back to the passenger seat, I reached down for the old sonogram photo and gently picked it up before running over to Truitt’s truck. “What about Saryn?”
“I’ll call her and tell her what’s going on. She’ll be fine.”
All I could do was nod as I glanced back down at the old photo in my hand. I hadn’t looked at it in at least a year. I folded it gently back up, pulled out my ID, and then put it back in its usual place.
Take Me Away Page 17