One Final Breath

by Lynn H. Blackburn

  “How best can we pray going forward?” This one came from Mr. Cook.

  She didn’t hesitate. “For protection. For quick healing. For wisdom. Gabe has an open homicide investigation right now. Ryan Parker will be working to find out who stabbed Gabe. Half of our dive team has been sick with that nasty stomach bug that’s going around, and now this will take Gabe out of the water for a while.”

  “We’re on it, sweetheart.” Mr. Cook gave her a peck on the cheek, then turned to the people gathered. “Folks, this has been a real sweet time of prayer, but I believe it’s time we all head home and let these children get back to doing what they need to do.”

  He turned to her. “I’ll get this crew out the door. You go on back to Gabe. When he’s home and stable, you come see me. We’ll talk.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I mean it, young lady. Don’t you make me call your mama.”

  “I won’t.”

  With a final squeeze of Mr. Cook’s hand, she turned and half walked, half jogged back to the recovery rooms. When she reached Gabe, he was sitting up holding his own cup of ice chips. And if she wasn’t mistaken, he’d brushed his hair. She paused in the doorway. Why was she hesitant now?

  She knew.

  It was easy to hover over him when he was passed out.

  But she wasn’t his girlfriend. She was barely even in the friend zone.

  She glanced around. Gabe was alone. “Where’s Ivan?”

  “Who’s Ivan?” Gabe spooned in another ice chip.

  “Your nurse.”

  “Oh, I didn’t catch his name.” He spoke around the ice chip. “He’ll be back.”

  Anissa still didn’t move from the door.

  “Is something wrong?” Gabe shifted in the bed.

  “No.”

  “Then why are you standing over there?”

  “I’m not sure.” She took one step in, then stopped.

  He stared at her. She stared back. There was no way she was wrong about the look he was giving her. It was the kind of look she’d seen on Ryan’s face when he looked at Leigh. And Adam’s face when he looked at Sabrina. But this wasn’t something she was ready for. This wasn’t something she would ever be ready for.

  She took another step.

  Gabe stretched out his hand, palm up, and waved his fingers. “It’s not a marriage proposal, Bell. Just a hand.”

  She took another step. It wasn’t a large room. One more step and she’d be—

  Gabe grimaced as he leaned toward her, hand still outstretched. He refused to break eye contact. “I promise you, I will climb out of this bed and come get you if you don’t get over here.”

  He said it with a smile, but she knew he wasn’t kidding. She took the next step and reached for his hand. As soon as her skin met his, he squeezed and pulled her all the way toward him. Her face was two inches from his. “Why are you afraid of me?” The whispered words hit a fault line in the shell she kept around her heart.

  “I’m not afraid of you,” she whispered back. “I’m afraid of me.”

  “Got you a room.” Ivan’s voice boomed through the small space. She jerked back, but Gabe kept a tight grip on her hand. Ivan had to know he’d interrupted something, but he carried on like he hadn’t. “I had to pull some strings, but I got you the finest, police-protected private room on the seventh floor. It’s a beaut. Corner room with lots of places for seating. Or sleeping.” At this he let his gaze fall on Anissa and gave her a little wink. “I’m guessing you’re the type who will be working the case from the hospital room. Am I right?”

  “You are,” Anissa said.

  “Figured as much. Well, if you’re ready?” He directed the question to Gabe, and Anissa pulled her fingers from Gabe’s grasp. She needed to move out of the way so Ivan could disconnect all the things he needed to disconnect, but she also needed to get away so she could breathe. And think.

  Two things she had somehow lost the ability to do when Gabe was touching her.

  “We would normally have a transporter take you to your room, but you, sir, are getting the Ivan special. And an escort.”

  When they stepped into the hallway, they were immediately flanked by a hospital security guard and a Carrington Police officer. He looked familiar. Anissa extended her hand to the police officer. “Anissa Bell. I believe we’ve met before.”

  He took her hand. “Yes, ma’am. Although not under great circumstances. George Loftis. We, uh, we met at the mall.”

  A vise tightened over her heart.

  “It was an honor to assist you that evening, ma’am.”

  She fought to swallow. “Thank you.” What else could she say? She hadn’t had a choice. She hadn’t wanted to kill that man, but it was him or Sabrina.

  Thankfully, George let it go at that and Ivan didn’t ask for more information. Ivan had been a true gift. A calm spot in the storm that raged in her as she watched Gabe sleep. She would miss Ivan. Gabe would probably get a bunch of cute girly nurses for the rest of his stay, and that was going to be annoying.

  She lagged behind the stretcher. What was she doing here? When had this happened—that everyone assumed she would be with Gabe? That she would want to be where he was?

  “Bell?” Gabe’s question pulled her from her thoughts.

  “I’m right behind you. You make a wide load with your protection detail.” She tried to keep her voice light.

  When they entered the elevator, the only place she could fit was squeezed in the corner at the foot of Gabe’s stretcher. She patted his foot and he smiled. It was a sleepy smile. Ivan had told her that even after Gabe woke up, he’d probably sleep most of the next twenty-four hours. The cocktail of fatigue, anesthesia, and pain medicine was a potent one.

  “That’s better.” His eyelids drooped. He blinked several times.

  “Don’t fight it, Gabe. Just rest.”

  “When are you going to get some sleep?” His words were a bit slurred and she fought a smile.

  “They’ve already made up a bed for Investigator Bell,” Ivan said. “She’ll be able to stretch out and close her eyes. Something she very much needs to do.”

  “And I’ll be outside the door to be sure no one enters who isn’t supposed to be there.” George patted his weapon as he spoke.

  “Keep her safe,” Gabe said as his eyes closed.

  The next time he woke up, it took Gabe a few seconds to figure out where he was. He tried to roll over, but the pain caught him. Maybe he would just look around. Moving his eyeballs didn’t hurt. The room was dark but not pitch-black. Random dots of light from IVs and monitors cast their blue and green hues around the space.

  He had a vague memory of this place. Of being rolled in. Of a nurse.

  They’d made a bed for Anissa so she could stay.

  But . . .

  She was here. Sitting beside him. Her hand was still in his. Her face was hidden beneath a cascade of hair. He studied her for a long time. Flashes of their conversation, of her fear for him, of her refusal to leave him, of his inability to send her away, of his need to have her in sight—all of it crashed through his thoughts.

  Dios, por favor, what am I going to do?

  He’d known for years he wasn’t the kind of guy who would get married and settle down. He needed to stop this mess and return the two of them back to their dysfunctional normal. The place where she rolled her eyes at him and he annoyed her.

  She sat up. Slowly.

  “Hey.” His voice still wasn’t right. What had they done to him?

  “Are you okay? Want me to get the nurse?” She whispered the words as she stood.

  “No. No nurse.”

  “Ice chips?”

  “Nis.”

  “What?”

  “Go back to sleep.”

  “I’m fine. If you’ll tell me what you need, I’ll get it. I’m not good at this nursing stuff. Leigh’s so much better at it. It’s like she can read people’s minds and she knows what they need. I’m not like that. I’m pretty hopeless.
I should see if Leigh could sit with you.”

  He knew how much Anissa hated hospitals, but he’d never realized they could drive her to be so irrational. He reached for her hand and pulled her closer to the bed. “Nis.”

  “What?”

  “Thank you for staying with me. I wouldn’t want Leigh to be here.”

  “You wouldn’t?”

  “No. Why are you so hard on yourself? You’re doing great.”

  “I have no idea what I’m doing.” She waved a hand around the room.

  “So what?”

  “So, I don’t like feeling so—”

  “Out of control?”

  “Something like that.”

  That he could understand. Anissa was so terrifyingly good at her job, so confident on a dive, he could see where being in an unfamiliar—and in her case, much-disliked—environment could bring up all kinds of hidden insecurities. “How about this? I promise to tell you if I need something. Or want something. And you promise not to stress about the fact that you can’t read my mind and don’t have a medical degree. Deal?”

  She let out a long sigh. “Deal.”

  “Great. Now, what I want you to do is go lie down on that little bed they made you and get some sleep.”

  She dropped her head. “I tried.”

  “Is it like sleeping on the floor?”

  “No. It’s fine. It was very kind of them to set it up. But I think I’ll wait until I get home to sleep.”

  His brain was much clearer than it had been earlier in the night and he didn’t miss the subtle hesitations, the word choices that told him Anissa was holding something back. “What happened when you tried to sleep?”

  She wouldn’t look at him. “Just bad dreams. It’s fine. Really.”

  “What did you dream?”

  In the dim light, he could see her head shake back and forth. “Tell me.”

  A little hiccup. Was she crying? She pulled her hand away and wiped her face. She was crying. She walked away.

  “Hey, come back here.”

  She shook her head again. “Just give me a minute.”

  He gave her to the count of twenty. “Nis?”

  “I couldn’t get the bleeding stopped and—”

  “And?”

  “You died. Every time I closed my eyes, you died.”

  There was a soft tap on the door and a nurse bustled in. He was going to have to go home to get some rest. He was going to have to go home to be able to finish a conversation.

  “I’ll step out.” Anissa disappeared before he could stop her.

  “How’s your pain, Mr. Chavez?” the nurse asked.

  “It’s fine.”

  Anissa stuck her head through the door. “He’s lying. He was moaning in his sleep, and he’s not moving to keep from hurting too much. He needs something, even if it makes him sleep.”

  Then she disappeared.

  Why, that little—

  The nurse laughed. “She’s got your number, doesn’t she?”

  Yeah. Apparently she did.

  Gabe slept most of Monday. Whenever he woke up, Anissa was there. Sometimes asleep. Usually awake. But they didn’t talk about anything other than how he was feeling and his pain levels. There was a little laughter when they brought him a tray with broth and tea and a little bowl of yellow gelatin. As soon as the kind woman who’d delivered the food left the room, he handed the gelatin to Anissa and she tossed it in the trash.

  Leigh came by. So did Ryan. Adam and Sabrina stopped in around suppertime with soup and sandwiches from one of their favorite shops.

  No one questioned Anissa’s presence. Or wondered why Ryan wasn’t staying with him instead. At least not in front of him, anyway.

  He and Anissa didn’t discuss it further. He had no idea what was going on between them. He was pretty sure she didn’t either. But until he wasn’t addled by pain meds, he couldn’t do much about it.

  After the evening shift change, the nurse came in. “Time for a walk.”

  “A what?”

  “You heard me, sunshine. Time for those tootsies to hit the floor. We’ve had a crazy-busy day. I think the entire county has this nasty stomach stuff. And in all the chaos, your sleepy self slid under the radar of your day nurse. But you are a bright blip on mine. If you want to go home, you’re going to have to get a move on—and I mean that literally.”

  Anissa smothered a grin but not before he caught it. Apparently so did Nurse Ratched. “Oh, you can go ahead and laugh, girlie. You’re his chauffeur. Let’s do this, people.”

  Anissa closed her laptop and Nurse Ratched, whose name tag indicated that her real name was Lois, disconnected Gabe from the IV and helped him sit and then stand. She put his arm through Anissa’s and pointed them toward the door. “Now, you take it real slow and see if you can get to the end of the hall. Then back here.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Anissa’s arm through his felt warm and strong. He didn’t want to lean on her, but a few steps out the door, he did.

  “I’ve got you, Chavez,” she said. “Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and tell me if we need to slow down.”

  Chavez. So she was back to calling him by his last name. Back to normal. Whatever that was. They were going to pretend all those weird conversations and tense moments hadn’t happened? Wasn’t that what he’d wanted?

  They didn’t talk as they passed one door and then the next. Gabe would be eternally grateful to Deep Voice for helping him get into a pair of shorts while Anissa was out of the room. At least he didn’t have to worry about flashing her and the entire seventh floor as he walked.

  “Last night,” he said, and the energy between them changed. It was subtle, but she was on edge. “You said something about going to see Paisley and Brooke.” And just like that, the tension eased. Interesting.

  “When you aren’t spaced out on drugs, we need to talk about it,” she said.

  “Who said I’m spaced out?”

  “Oh, believe me.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You’ve been muttering in Spanish. You even sang once. I think you may have proposed to the janitor, but it was in Spanish, and a bit slurred. I didn’t catch all of it.”

  “This is why I hate narcotics.” Gabe sensed a rant building and he didn’t even care. “I’m done. You hear me? D-O-N-E. Done. I’m going to ibuprofen when we get back.”

  Anissa snickered.

  He stopped walking and turned to face her. “You’re messing with me?”

  She doubled over in laughter. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t expect you to believe me.”

  “You’re joking about my proposing to the janitor while I’m hopped up on narcotics?”

  Anissa was laughing so hard now she was wiping away tears. Her laughter was fascinating. She’d never—not once—messed with him like this. He didn’t even know she had it in her. “I can’t believe you did that. That’s something I would do.”

  “I know!” She laughed even harder. “Sorry.”

  In his most overdone offended voice, he said, “I don’t know what’s come over you. It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

  Anissa snorted. She actually snorted.

  Then Nurse Ratched appeared. “You two are supposed to be walking.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Anissa was still laughing as she tucked Gabe’s arm back in hers. “You heard the lady. March.”

  11

  They lapped the unit three times before Anissa convinced Gabe to return to his room. And even though he knew she’d been teasing him, it turned out he hadn’t been joking about the pain meds.

  “I’m done,” he told Lois as she helped him settle into the recliner in the room.

  “You’ll be uncomfortable,” she said. “You just had surgery. You were stabbed. It’s not a sign of weakness to get some relief.”

  “I don’t care. I’m done.”

  Lois turned to Anissa. “Can you talk any sense into him?”

  Anissa didn’t
disagree with her, but she didn’t see much chance of Gabe changing his mind. “If it gets bad enough, maybe he’ll reconsider.”

  The nurse huffed her way out of the room.

  Anissa handed Gabe the remote. “Pretty sure there’s a baseball game on if you want to watch it.”

  He took the remote from her and placed it on his lap. “I want to talk about Paisley.”

  “Can we wait until tomorrow?”

  “Nis. Please. I’ve been stabbed. Poked by every nurse who walks in the door. Jabbed by needles. Forced to consume wretched food. The least you can do is give me something to think about other than the pain.” He ended his rant by batting his eyes at her. “Please.”

  She couldn’t stop herself from laughing.

  “See? You feel better already. You’ll feel much better after you tell me something about Paisley.” He leaned his head back against the chair. “Lay it on me.”

  Would she feel better? Guess it was time to find out. “First, I need to tell you that Paisley sends her best wishes for your speedy recovery.”

  Gabe’s head popped off the back of the chair. “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wait. When did you talk to her?”

  Anissa started at the beginning. She told him about going to see Brooke. Talking to Paisley. And everything Paisley had told her. Gabe didn’t interrupt, but his expression grew darker with every new detail.

  “Earlier today, I sent her a message and told her I was still here and asked if she’d be willing to let me see the information she’d been given. She emailed all of it to me.”

  “And?”

  “Factually, the reports she was sent are accurate. But all of them are from this one reporter who had grown up in the church and then left the faith and is now an atheist. He was . . . well, it doesn’t matter. You can read it later. The point is, whoever gave her this information assumed she would run with it. That she’d do a little checking, discover it was true, and plaster it all over the local news.”

  “But she didn’t.”

  “No. But . . .”

  “What?”

  Anissa paced the room. “Why? Why now? I mean, it’s all public record. The sheriff and the captain know all about it. Mr. Cook knows. It’s obviously not something I’m proud of or share freely, but anyone could get all the details . . . or most of them, anyway . . . if they wanted to. So why do it now?”