Bilgarra Springs

by Rotondo, Louise

  As she spoke, she tucked on hand under each leg.

  ‘And if you think for one second that this will stop me from throttling you if you don’t give me every single detail right this second, mouth full of food or not, you are sadly mistaken.’

  Libby flashed Aurora ‘the look’ the one that she reserved for situations where there was no option but to do things her way.

  Aurora smiled.

  ‘You can carry on all you like. I am busting to tell somebody. His name is Callan. They all call him Cal for short. He is the grandson of Gran’s friends. He’s thirty-eight, tall, blue-eyed, dark wavy hair. Looks like the typical hero from the Western romance novels that you like so much.’

  ‘Now I really do want to hit you. How the hell did you do that? You have turned down every single person that has asked you out lawyers, doctors, professors, builders, electricians, advertising executives every single one of them and some of them were really hot and great catches. Then you go and snag the sort of guy that the rest of us just dream about with probably little or no effort at all on your part.’

  Libby’s eyes went all dreamy.

  ‘I bet he’s good on a horse too.’

  Aurora couldn’t help smirking.

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘It’s official. I hate you. Twenty-eight years of friendship ends today.’

  With the last statement, Libby positively scowled at Aurora, which just sent the latter into fits of laughter.

  ‘Come off it Lib. You know as well as I do that you have a fantastic fiancé. Eamon is a great guy and he worships the ground that you walk on.’

  ‘That is only because I keep the ground worshipable. It takes a lot of work to keep him thinking that the sun rises and sets in me.’

  With the last statement, Libby took her hands out from under her thighs and gazed at the gorgeous diamond sitting on her left hand.

  ‘We both know that he would be completely lost without you. As you would be without him I might add. But don’t get too bent out of shape because I really don’t think that things with Cal can go anywhere. He lives there and I live here and our lives are so different that there is no chance that it could work.’

  Libby looked shocked.

  ‘You’re kidding me, right? You finally fall in love, goodness knows how many years after the end of that marriage with that tosser ex-husband of yours, which, I might add, you have never really spoken about, and you are saying that it can’t go anywhere! This isn’t a situation where you can meet in the middle, but one of you will have to give. Either he will have to move here or you will have to move there. For myself I would like him to move here, it’s not like he would even need to work. You were loaded before your grandmother died and now...well.’

  Before Aurora could argue, Libby held up her index finger, the dark red nail glinting in the artificial light.

  ‘I am not meaning to be insensitive or disrespectful to your grandmother, or to you for that matter, but practically speaking, you don’t need to work anymore either.’

  Aurora sighed, following it with a small shrug of helplessness.

  ‘Yeah. That’s true, but who he is, is so tied up with the land out there that I would never dream of asking him to move here and he knows that he wouldn’t be happy here. As for me, my life is here. The break out there was great, but I can’t imagine living anywhere else. I have a career, students, responsibilities here. We parted on the understanding that we would take it one day at a time and see what happens, but I don’t think that there is a happy ending to this one Lib.’

  Aurora’s voice wavered a little at the end, taking Libby by surprise. Aurora never cried, well never in public at least. Lib reached a hand across the table, laying it on Aurora’s forearm. Her voice gentled.

  ‘All jokes aside Aurora, please think about it. Think long and hard before you decide to throw it all away because you think it might be a little bit hard to make it work. I would hate for you to miss out on a really great thing, which may just last for the rest of your life, just because it meant giving that little bit extra or making some changes.’

  Aurora couldn’t speak and only nodded.

  Libby sat up, clasped her hands together, suddenly animated.

  ‘Intentional change of subject coming up. So, tell me all about working out there. I want to know the best bit and the worst bit. Did you have to muck out pig stalls or something equally as horrendous? Maybe you got to muster by helicopter, which would completely make up for having to immerse yourself in pig muck!’

  Aurora flashed Libby a relieved smile. She appreciated not being pushed. They spent another two hours discussing the daily life out there before Eamon came past to take Libby to the latest exhibition at the NSW Art Gallery and Aurora left to buy some food and restock her almost completely empty fridge.

  Aurora managed to refrain from calling Callan for the rest of that day even though she desperately wanted to. She even managed to make it through a boring ‘work-around-the-house’ Sunday without picking up the phone. She was half looking forward to going back to work tomorrow and half dreading it. She knew from experience how hard it is to go back, but once there it all starts to fall into place again. She wasn’t looking forward to the twenty questions that she would no doubt be subjected to though.

  That night she tossed and turned, her dreams for most of the night full of Callan and the crew from Bilgarra Springs. She had woken at 2 a.m. and lain awake staring at the ceiling for an hour, trying to escape the thousand thoughts and emotions crowding her mind. She kept coming back to Callan and the fact that these past couple of days she had really missed him and it made the life that she had worked so hard to create feel really empty. She had heard people describe it as being like missing a limb but she had thought that they were exaggerating. Now she realised that the missing piece was just like a vital body part that had been lopped off.

  She had finally drifted back off only to have the most vivid dream of Gran and Will on the day that Will had escorted Gran back to Townsville. Aurora had woken up in tears it had been so real. She had spent around thirty minutes not moving, haunted by the sadness that she had seen on Will’s face and the resigned desperation on her grandmother’s. That had been their last chance their final moment. They must both have been tormented by what couldn’t be.

  In the dream they had been sitting in the front seat of the truck, hands clasped tightly in those last couple of moments before Gran had to get out and make her way into the train station to catch the train to Brisbane to meet up with Charles. Will had told her grandmother that he loved her dearly but it wasn’t right, she was another man’s wife. Gran had replied that they were making the right decision, that she wasn’t free to choose Will. She had continued that if she were free then there would have been no question. Will had looked at Gran and said, ‘If only things were different,’ before their hands had slowly come apart and Will had come around to help Gran out of the truck. In the dream his face had been stoic as he waited beside her for her to get her ticket and later the desolation had been total as he had stood there and watched the train pullout. Gran had watched him from the window until it had become impossible.

  The dream had haunted Aurora for a long while as she was getting ready for work that morning. It had felt so real when she had awoken and she was still having trouble shaking the feelings and pictures off. She hoped that by the time she battled the traffic to get to the university, caught up with her mail and went to her first lecture at 10 a.m. her brain would be back in ‘law’ mode. The business suit that she put on felt very constricting after four weeks of wearing jeans and shirts. She pushed that thought from her mind as well. She didn’t want to start her day with longing for what was passed. She needed to be sharp, focused and back in ‘city mode’. She had dreams of her own to fulfil and she couldn’t do that if she was tied to the past and not committed to forging ahead.

  twenty

  Home

  Approximately three hours later Aurora entered the lecture theat
re and went to stand behind the lectern at the front. She was a few minutes early and fluffed around with her notes while she waited for the stragglers to arrive and take their seats. A couple of students shot her a hello as they moved to the back of the room, others strolled past. She didn’t really care whether they acknowledged her or they didn’t. Two hours on a Monday for a family law lecture was all she had these particular students for. She took tutorial groups for land law, commercial law and constitutional law each afternoon, in addition to lecturing in succession law on Thursdays, but didn’t think it would be fair to tutor her own subjects. She figured that they should have the benefit of another person’s opinion, so had declined to run the tutorial groups for those subjects as well.

  When it appeared as though nobody else was going to show up she began her lecture. She was going to cover the laws as they applied to de facto situations. Ten minutes into it, she paused to look around. There was a mixture of bored faces and those with bowed heads, furiously scribbling. She couldn’t help but wonder how many of them would actually remember any of this in a few months. She continued for the allotted one hour and fifty minutes, releasing the students to their next classes at ten to twelve. She waited for them all to leave before collecting her own things, locking the door and making her way back to her desk.

  She dumped her stuff on her desk and turned and headed straight back out the door again, up the hall and into the Dean’s secretary’s office. Jeannie flashed her a huge smile.

  ‘Hi Aurora. How was your break?’

  ‘Great Jeannie. I don’t have an appointment but is there any chance of getting in to see her? It won’t take long.’

  Jeannie checked the computerized diary.

  ‘She has an appointment with a student at quarter past but I can probably squeeze you in.’

  Jeannie left her chair and knocked quietly on the door, then disappeared inside. She could only have been in there for a minute or so but when she came out again she motioned Aurora in, closing the door after her.

  Aurora was out again in under ten minutes, thanked Jeannie and made her way back to her own office. She paused briefly at Dan’s door. He was only new to the Law School and he glanced up to see her standing there. Aurora gave him what she hoped was a friendly smile. She had that much going through her head at the moment that she was more than a bit distracted.

  ‘Hi Dan. How are things?’

  Dan gave her a grin that split his face from ear to ear. He hadn’t been at the university long before she took her leave so she didn’t know him particularly well, but what she did know of him she liked. He was a little too alternative, with his dreadlocks and eco-friendly clothing for some of the more traditional people on staff, but he had always been friendly to her.

  ‘Hey, you’re back.’

  ‘I am. Did I miss much?’

  ‘Not at all. Same shit different pot.’

  Aurora couldn’t help chuckling. Sometimes he came out with stuff that she could only wonder at the origins of. Still, sometimes different was refreshing. She would originally have pegged him as an environmental law or international law specialist but it turned out that criminal law was his thing. Sometimes you really couldn’t pick it, even after years of people watching there was still the occasional one that slipped in underneath the radar.

  ‘I have come to ask a favour. You don’t still have the boxes that you brought all your stuff in do you?’

  ‘Sure do, I put them in the storeroom. Do you want them?’

  ‘I would really love to borrow a couple of them. I can drop them back to you tomorrow.’

  Dan laughed at that.

  ‘I grabbed them from out the front of the local supermarket, so if you want them take them.’

  Aurora flashed him grateful half smile.

  ‘Thanks. We’ll catch up for coffee tomorrow. My shout.’

  ‘Not necessary. It’s a pleasure to help. But I will certainly come for coffee. Any excuse is a good one.’

  Aurora really liked his happy go lucky personality. He was always all smiles. His levity made her heaviness appear worse to her.

  ‘Great. I will swing by around one if that is okay with you.’

  ‘Works for me. See you then.’

  With that Aurora turned around and headed for the storeroom. She fortunately didn’t run into any colleagues on the way. She grabbed a few boxes and quickly made her way back to her office trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Once inside she pulled the door nearly all the way shut and hurriedly started pulling books and knick knacks off the shelves and placing them as quickly as possible in the boxes. She had filled one box and was part way through the second when June pushed the door open and stuck her head through.

  ‘Aurora. I heard you were back.’

  Aurora spun around trying to use her body to shield the boxes from view but she was too late and in any event, the empty bookshelves on the wall were a dead giveaway. She plastered on a smile which she hoped didn’t look too false. She liked June, she had a heart of gold, it was just that when she knew anything you may as well broadcast it over the local TV station and Aurora had been trying to be as covert as possible. Slip in, slip out, avoid the questions. No chance now.

  ‘Hi June. How are things? How’s that new grandson of yours going?’

  Diverting her attention was Aurora’s last ditch effort at self-preservation. It didn’t work.

  ‘He’s great. He’s walking and talking now. Great little boy. We love him to bits.’

  June nodded at the boxes behind Aurora.

  ‘They finally moving you into a bigger office?’

  June wasn’t even attempting to hide her curiosity.

  ‘Although I don’t know which it would be. As far as I know they are still all full.’

  June looked genuinely puzzled. Aurora took a deep breath and decided that it may as well be now, they were all going to find out soon enough anyway.

  ‘No, not moving offices. I am taking twenty months leave of absence. That will get me back at the beginning of the academic year, the year after next.’

  June’s mouth dropped open and her eyes popped.

  ‘But... but...but....’

  ‘It’s all good June. I’m not in trouble. They haven’t sacked me or anything. This is my choice. With all that has happened lately I just need some time to myself with no demands, no deadlines, no pressure. My time off proved at least that much to me. At the moment, the last place that I need or want to be is here. I am finally going to take some ‘me’ time.’

  Aurora said it as matter-of-factly as she could. She really didn’t want to turn it into a three ring circus. She had been hoping to quietly fade into the background and disappear. Fat chance now.

  Aurora decided to give the divert tactic another go.

  ‘On a completely different note, you would not believe the size of the trucks out there June. I even snapped a quick photo of a road train pulled up at a rest stop with my mobile. Check this out.’

  She quickly grabbed her mobile out of her handbag and found the photo. For the second time in five minutes, June’s mouth dropped open, except this time she looked a little faint with it.

  ‘Wow,’ was the best that June could get out.

  Aurora had always meant to show the picture to June but she hadn’t anticipated needing it as a distraction when she took it a month ago. She could see that she had completely blown the other woman away. She felt a little mean, but mission accomplished. June looked up when the screen on the mobile faded, handing it back to Aurora.

  ‘I suppose I should go and see what trouble the general student body has gotten themselves into now. I will catch you later. Let me know if you need anything.’

  Aurora was grateful for the reprieve even if she had gained it by unfair means.

  ‘Thanks June. I will.’

  When June had gone, Aurora put the door back to the almost closed position and continued with boxing everything up. She was lucky that she wasn’t a hoarder as such so it didn’t
take as long as it may have done. She was just grabbing the stuff out of the last of the filing cabinets when there was a knock on the door. Aurora opened it to find Dan standing in the corridor. He looked at her in a very searching manner which she had to admit made her a little uncomfortable.

  ‘Hey. I have just been speaking with Peter, who was speaking with Linda, who was speaking with June...’

  Aurora rolled her eyes and laughed. She appreciated Dan’s approach.

  ‘This is almost like Chinese Whispers adult style. I have no idea what the story that you heard was, but yes, I am going on twenty months leave effective immediately.’

  Dan didn’t say anything, just lounged against the door jamb which took a little of the effrontery out of the situation and Aurora continued.

  ‘There is no big drama. It is simply a case of I just need some time out, so I am taking it. I would say that I will be back all guns blazing at the end of it, but for now I just need to down tools for a while.’

  ‘Okay. All good so long as there is nothing wrong. Rather than make you run all the way back here tomorrow to drop me back boxes that I don’t want, why don’t I help you cart all this stuff down to your car and then we can do coffee. I dunno about you but I could really use one.’

  Aurora was grateful for the offer of help.

  ‘Thanks Dan, for not pushing and for the offer of help. I wasn’t looking forward to the half a dozen trips that this was going to take on my own, especially to the staff car park which is not so close.’

  ‘My pleasure.’

  He took a couple of steps over and grabbed the nearest box, grinning from ear to ear.

  ‘Lead on.’

  Aurora wondered whether his wife knew what a gem she had in him. He really was one of the good guys. She grabbed a box of her own, threw her handbag on top and they made their way to the stairs.