by Toni Aleo
Dad told me not to let it bother me, but it still stings.
The great thing is I get a new start and a new chance to get noticed. Cliffy, my agent, is thrilled with me going to Bellevue to play. Scouts from all over come to watch the Bullies because the coach before stacked it. I’ve heard about some of the players, ignored the ones with the last name Sinclair, of course, but the others, yeah, they are lethal. A lot of them are prospected to go first round in the draft, and if I want any part of that, I’m gonna have to bust my ass. It’s sort of intimidating. I know I have my work cut out for me to shine and surpass these great players, but I’m gonna do it. And I’m gonna be the best. No matter what.
And I’m gonna completely ignore dudes with the last name Sinclair.
Yup¸ that’s my plan.
I’m still nervous, and when I told my dad that, he laughed since I don’t get nervous. He waved me off, telling me I shouldn’t be, but he doesn’t understand why and I’m not telling him. He’s Papa Bear, he doesn’t let anyone mess with his cub, and if he knows that Jayden was the guy in Florida, he’d make his life a living hell. I’m not exactly sure why I don’t want that, but I don’t. I believe in the guy, he needs his chance to make his life great because he’s worked hard for it. Who am I to ruin that because he didn’t want to sleep with me? So I’ve kept that little tidbit to myself. But it’s easy to say anytime Bellevue hockey comes up in conversation, which is about seventy percent of the time, I get butterflies.
Because I’m gonna see him. I’m going to be playing beside him. And I’m not exactly sure how that is going to go. It has me on edge for obvious reasons, and I should not want to see him. I should want to kick him in the throat, beat his ass on the ice and show him who’s the best, but I do want to see him. I just don’t want him to see me.
If that makes any kind of sense.
Since Dad didn’t want me to think too much about the impending hockey camp, we decided to do a mini-vacay before things became about nothing but hockey. I’ve always wanted to visit Nashville. But since it wasn’t really a big hockey city before, we never got the chance until now, and I love it. I love this city and I could honestly live here for the rest of my life and be happy. There is something about the people; they are so nice and welcoming. I love the land, the country, and all the quirky little shops. It’s just nice, and there is so much to explore. So for three weekends straight, since I do have school, Dad and I did all the fun tourist stuff.
We went to the Country Music Hall of Fame, and I got to see Carrie Underwood perform. Supercool, right? We went to the zoo, to some plantations, and shopping galore. We even went to the Jack Daniel’s distillery where Dad got drunk and I had to drive home. To say that was the adventure of a lifetime is an understatement. There aren’t very many moments when our lives aren’t consumed with hockey. We are two very busy people, but we needed this trip. We spent the whole trip home either yelling at each other—because apparently I can’t drive, according to his drunken ass—or having the music so loud I’m pretty sure my ears are still ringing a week later from his horrible singing. But it was great and something I’ll always remember.
Leaning back in the grass, I pull my cap down farther on my face just to be sure no one notices me as I people watch and take in my new home. The Bellevue campus is one of the nicest campuses I’ve ever been to. I don’t even have to go off campus to get what I need. Everything is here, even Dad was impressed by that. No one really drives except in the winter from my understanding, and everyone is nice for the most part, I guess. It isn’t like I’m going out and meeting people though, so really I have no clue. I’ve spoken to two people, the janitor at the ice rink and the other janitor in the weight room.
I’m such a social butterfly.
Since we moved into the house they gave my dad, I’ve kept to myself. I go to my classes and sit in the back, praying and hoping that Jayden, or even Jace, doesn’t walk in. Thankfully, they haven’t. I haven’t even seen them. Thank. God. I don’t know how I will handle that, but I better get ready. I’ll be seeing him sooner rather than later.
Camp starts Monday.
The house they gave my dad is right next door to the Bullies’ frat house, and the team will move in after camp. I thought that would exclude me, but then we found out that wasn’t the case. The board threw the mother of all fits because Dad just assumed I was going to be on the team. I mean, why wouldn’t I be? But apparently they hadn’t heard of me, so they said that I had to try out—which is really pointless since my dad is the coach, but whatever. Then they said if I’m gonna play on a team with boys, then I have to be a full member of the team.
Which means I have to live with them.
This wasn’t the case in Arkansas. I got my own locker room, shower, and housing with my dad, but apparently, there are a bunch of fucking assholes around here that want to make my life a living hell. In truth, they want to scare me off. But they won’t. I’ll be part of the team; it will be like I have a dick. And yeah, my dad is not happy about it, but no one is gonna ruin my chances of getting what I want. He threw a fit, threatened to quit, but I talked him off the ledge. I mean, really, it’s not a big deal. Dudes don’t bother me, I can handle my own, and if one of them touches me in a way I don’t like, I’ll kill him. But the main reason my heart is palpitating in my chest and I have clammy hands is because I’m going to be around Jayden almost all the damn time.
And he doesn’t even know I’m here.
I take in the four-story house and let out a breath. Maybe I can be on the top floor and him on the bottom. Maybe I can figure out a way never to see him and never to deal with him, but even I know that’s stupid to even try to attempt. A hockey team is supposed to be a family if they want to win. I’m going to see him, I’m gonna have to talk to him, and I’m going to have to act like he didn’t reject me and turn me into a little crybaby. It’s gonna be hard. I can still feel the sting of his rejection, but I won’t allow that to derail me. This isn’t about some stupid fling on the beach. No, this is about me getting to the NHL.
And no one is going to hold me back from that.
When my phone dings, I look down to see that it’s a text from Delanie.
My daily text, that is.
Delanie: Have you seen him yet?
I’ve gotten this text every day since we moved here. It’s becoming very annoying, but at the same time, I wait for it. Not sure why, but I do. Nonetheless, I roll my eyes as I answer her back.
Me: Don’t you think I’d tell you if I did?
Delanie: No, I think you’ll find a place to hide and never come out.
Me: Dramatic much? No, I haven’t seen him. But then, I’m not looking.
Delanie: According to Jace, they are living with his mom till they can move into the frat house.
Glaring at my phone, I type my next sentence very angrily. I put the caps lock on just to make sure she knows I mean business.
Me: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TOLD JACE I AM HERE, I AM GOING TO FLY TO ARKANSAS AND KILL YOU.
Delanie: Whoa, psycho, no! I was just asking questions and got that out of him. Jeez. Calm your tits.
Me: Your life depended on that text.
Delanie: Yeah, I got that. Why am I friends with you?
Me: Must be my loveable way.
Delanie: Must be.
I smile and decide that I miss her. She was my first real girlfriend. I never really had those growing up. Never gave anyone the chance to be my friend, but I did with Delanie. Or she made me. One of the two.
Delanie: So, yeah, they are at their mom’s, and you haven’t seen either of them just walking around?
Me: It’s a big campus.
Delanie: Yeah, but only rich people go there. How many of those are there really in Nashville?
She’s such an airhead.
Me: Delanie, it’s the music capital of the world, and most of the people who live here have sex and then have kids. So yeah, lots.
Delanie: Oh yeah. Well. Shit. I was hoping
to have some juicy gossip by now, or at least see you on the news for murder. I’ve been following the Nashville news.
Me: Your opinion of me is a little scary.
Delanie: You’re scary.
Me: Touché.
I smile as I roll onto my stomach, holding my phone out as I wait for her text. I don’t have to wait long.
Delanie: So have you met anyone else? Made friends?
I scoff.
Me: No, not at all.
Delanie: So, no hot guys yet?
Me: None.
Delanie: Depressing.
Me: Depends who you ask.
Delanie: Well, I’m sure that if you weren’t so caught up on Jayden’s dick, you’d see someone else worth your time.
Rolling my eyes, I type.
Me: And I’ll talk to you later.
Delanie: Make sure you let me know if you see him.
Me: You’ll be the first I contact.
And she will be, but I doubt that will happen until next week.
When I get on the ice.
With him.
Fuck me.
Letting my phone drop to the ground, I look up and watch as people walk by. Couples, friends, and single folk of all shapes and sizes fill the campus. It’s a Saturday morning and gorgeous, so everyone is out enjoying the sunshine. I have a couple more hours before I have to go train in the weight room and then hit the ice. So I’m gonna soak up the sun and do everything in my power to not think of Jayden.
I’m having a hard time achieving that goal though.
“Hey, sugar! Want some company?”
Looking over at the Bullies’ yard, I see a group of guys checking me out. They are big and cut, but yeah, no.
Raising an eyebrow, I shake my head. “No, thanks.”
“Aw, come on, you don’t even know me. Let me take you for coffee,” he says, and when he starts coming toward me, I sit up. He’s cute, dark hair with dark eyes, tall, nice shoulders, and is wearing a bright teal Bullies tee. Which more than likely means he’s my teammate.
Nope. Not happening.
Before I can even talk though, the door behind me is opening and my dad is stepping out. He looks at the guy and then me before looking back at the guy and saying, “Bay, come inside. I need some help. Kyle Frayer, yeah?”
The guy nods, a little suspicious as he answers, “Yes, sir.”
Coming down the stairs as I stand, Dad passes by me and holds out his hand to shake Kyle’s. He takes my dad’s hand cautiously as he asks, “Are you River Moore?”
“I am. I’ve seen video of you, and I’m looking forward to working with you.”
“What?” he asks, confused. “What do you mean?”
“In due time. I am going to see you next week, yeah?”
He nods. “For camp?”
“Yup, nice meeting ya,” Dad says and then he turns, coming toward me, while Kyle looks at him dumbfounded.
Following him into the house, I shut the door and ask, “Why didn’t you just say you’re coaching?”
“They don’t want me to announce it yet. Waiting for the first day of camp.”
Scoffing, I say, “So instead you just walk up to people and look like a weirdo?”
He shrugs, a grin pulling at his mouth. “Guess so.” He then sends me a goofy look before saying, “I didn’t realize that’s how I came off.”
“Yeah, very Castiel from Supernatural in my opinion,” I say speaking of our favorite show and the very socially awkward angel on it.
He pauses and then laughs. “I’ll work on that then.”
I laugh along with him as I drop into the seat he has pulled out for me. Pushing a pile of files toward me, he says, “Look through all that and tell me what you think of the ones I’ve marked. I have to cut eight guys, and apparently three want the captain and alternates.”
I chew on the inside of my lip. I want the captain spot; I was supposed to have it this year, but since I moved teams, that might not happen. Dad said we’ll see how well I do during camp. “Feel I’ll get the spot I want?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know, babe. These boys are something and put our old team to shame, so no wonder we could never beat them.”
“I’m better than them, though?” I say, and I didn’t mean it as a question, but it came out that way.
“Oh yeah, but maybe three of them might give ya some problems.”
The hell they will.
I nod as I open the file, and the first thing I see is Jayden Sinclair’s name.
He wants captain.
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I say, “What do you think of Sinclair?”
“Big body, huge presence on the ice. I feel good about him. He and his little brother Jace are the two you’ll have to watch out for.”
More than you realize, I think as I nod. “So he’s my biggest competition.”
Looking up at me from his computer, he says, “Yeah. For sure. He should have gone into the draft last year, but his agent wants one more year on him. I’ve been in talks with him, and he’ll go quick next year. His brother went second or third.”
“First,” I say, and his brows shoot up.
“Know about them, then?”
I shrug. “I know the name, and he’s doing great right now for the Kings.”
“Oh! Yeah! Jude Sinclair! That’s right. How did I miss that? Hmm,” he says, making some notes on the pad in front of him. I know I’m supposed to look through the file, but I can’t turn the page.
Running my finger along the picture in the file, I will myself to stop but I can’t. Tracing his lips, I groan internally. Oh, the feel of those lips and that face. I remember every single detail of it. He looks younger in this picture, not as big as he did in person. He had more scruff than he does in the picture when I saw him in Florida. In this picture, he looks carefree and fun, but he was so much more than that. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I wanted nothing more than to knock all the problems away just to see his smile.
But not only are his looks impressive. Everything about Jayden’s career is right here in my hands. He was really modest when he spoke of his career. On paper, he’s amazing. Played for the US Male Junior Olympic team for just as many seasons as I did on the girls’ team. Traveled everywhere. He has a lot of goals for a defenseman, and like Dad said, he should have gone into the draft. He’s undoubtedly a first round pick.
“Why didn’t he go in?”
Dad looks up and shrugs. “I think his wrister is shit. Not sure. Gonna have to dissect him once I get my hands on him.”
I called that.
Nodding my head, I go to look back down as he says, “You know that Kyle kid is a hottie.”
Looking up, I make a face. “Ew, Dad.”
He grins. “I’m just saying, you haven’t really gotten out since we’ve been here.”
“I hang with you all the time.”
“Yeah, but not with people. Guys. Girls. Nothing. Just me.”
I laugh as I lean back in my chair. “What, Dad, don’t want to hang with me?”
He shakes his head. “No, that’s not it. I just want you to have fun. Meet people.”
“I’m good, Dad, promise. Hockey is what is important right now. Everything else will fall into place,” I say, before looking back down, moving my hair behind my ear.
“Yeah, but you have the weekend to live before hockey does take over. Go out, mingle, and have fun before you are hurting all the time because I’m gonna be pushing you. I’m going to make you a billion times better.”
I nod, knowing this already. “I’m good, Dad, I promise. I’ll have time for friends and guys when I’m older.”
He eyes me and then shakes his head. “You’re not still caught up on that Joe kid are you?”
I look up, confused, and then remember who that is.
Jayden.
Shaking my head, I say, “No, Dad, just ready to play.”
And I’m not lying, but I’m also not telling the truth.
>
“Oh my God! Look, Jayden! Oh my! I’m so happy!”
As my mother shakes me, Jude grins proudly as Claire giggles uncontrollably, nuzzled in close beside him on the other side of the computer. It’s easy to say that she is happy and beside herself with love for my older brother. She’s been crying, her eyes are puffy as she gazes down at the huge diamond my brother bought, and I’m pretty sure Jude has been crying too. It’s cute and sweet. Like me, Jace and Lucy both knew that Jude was going to propose tonight, but Mom obviously didn’t.
“Tell me how it happened. Lucy, look!”
My older sister rolls her eyes as Angie jumps up and down in her lap, clapping her hands for Jude and Claire. “Yes, Mom, I see it. It’s great. Congratulations, guys.”
Her congratulations sounds more like “I hope you both die,” but thankfully, I don’t think they are really listening to us. They are too busy gazing into each other’s eyes in a sickeningly sweet way that normal girls, not my sister, would gush over. Ever since Rick the douche broke her heart and left her for some other chick, my sister’s view on love and marriage is very jaded. Then add in what my dad did to my mom, and it’s easy to say that I don’t see my sister ever getting married or even trying to date a guy. Lord knows I haven’t seen her with anyone in two years. Never know though, she could find her one true love and blah, blah, blah.
“Isn’t it insane? I can’t believe it,” Claire gushes and I scoff.
“Please, of course you two were gonna get married,” I say, and she grins at me before looking back at Jude.
Skype has become a huge part of all of our lives since Jude left. We Skype with him and even with Claire a lot. It’s tough with them being all the way in Vegas and California, but on the computer they don’t seem that far away. I do miss the asshole, though. It’s been two months since we saw him. Jace and I started back to school, and hockey is about to start. It’s weird because, for the first time, Jude won’t be on the ice with me. But watching him play in the NHL and win is something I can’t even describe. He’s killing it, already tied with some other rookie for first in the league for goals. I know he’ll do great; now I just gotta work my ass off to get up there with him.