by Jillian Hart
“This is when we first went snorkeling.” Danielle tapped a plastic-covered image of him smiling at her, feet flippers on, waving one of them at her. “You’d been before, but I hadn’t. I was not too sure I wanted to go into the water where all those fish and slimy things were. Oh, and sharks.”
“I already knew how to snorkel?”
“And to scuba dive, which we did—” she turned several colorful pages “—here.”
Page after page, in one picture after another, he learned more than the sequence of events that had happened on their honeymoon trip. He saw how with every day there were tiny changes between them. The way they looked at one another. The happiness they radiated. The quiet unspoken tie that bound them together increased in strength and was as unmistakable as the spectacular Maui shore.
Love had done this, changing them, improving them, polishing them day by day. Love that he was going to find again, Jonas vowed, reaching out to brush a stray curl behind his wife’s ear.
Chapter Nine
They couldn’t have had a nicer time, Danielle thought, relaxing in the passenger seat. How nice to have her husband driving again. He was right, he was doing just fine. For a while they drove in companionable silence. She could almost pretend everything hadn’t changed between them. That the bullet had never struck Jonas. That their family and their marriage were whole.
“I turn here?” he asked, picking up the city streets well. He’d always had an excellent sense of direction.
“Yes.”
The complex had been shining new in the fifties, and had a dated look, but that was about to change. She watched Jonas navigate around orange cones in the parking lot and they waved to her brother-in-law Brice, whose company was starting the renovation. She spotted Spence through the long row of front windows in the bookstore. As usual, he appeared dark and glowering. Poor Spence.
Jonas turned off the engine. “It’s good to be back in the saddle again.”
“It is good,” she agreed. “We’ll have to get your truck back from Spence. It’s not good for a vehicle to sit without being driven, so he took it not long after you were injured. He’s been maintaining it for you.”
“Yep, I’m going to need that back,” Jonas agreed. “You’ve been doing too much, Dani. Running me from appointment to appointment. Keeping up with the kids. I can run myself now, and help out with the other stuff.”
“I’m not going to argue with that, handsome. I can use the help.” That was an understatement if there ever was one, she thought as she gathered up the bundle of papers from the backseat and led the way into the bookstore.
As expected, Spence’s frown hardened into a grimace. “I’m dreading looking at the profit-and-loss statement. I’ve got a bank meeting in the morning and I don’t want bad news.”
She wished Spence wouldn’t worry so much. She wished a lot of things when it came to her big brother. He had been an incredible support over the past year, always there when she needed him, always pitching in without her having to ask. But he was unhappy in his personal life and growing colder with each passing year. She loved him and so she tried not to let his scowl bother her. “It’s not bad at all.”
“Thank heavens.”
He took his responsibilities toward their family seriously, she knew, shouldering all of their worries. She handed him the binders. “Here. I have two copies. One for the loan person, and one for you.”
“Thanks, Dani.” His scowl faded. “This is a big relief. I know you’re busy, but with the complex’s construction loans—”
“I know.” She squeezed his hand, wishing she could help him the way he helped her. “Let me know if you need anything else, okay? Where’s Katherine? I thought she had her reading group today.”
“She does. Everyone is here, but I couldn’t call them in time to cancel.” There was his scowl, returning full force. “She said she wasn’t feeling well, so I made her go home. I put in a call to Jack, too, but I got his voice mail.”
“She’s probably just tired.” At least, she hoped that’s all it was. She fished the phone out of her purse pocket. “I’ll check on her. Does Mom know this?”
Spence shook his head, scattering his short brown hair. “She took Madison to her lesson, right?”
“And out to lunch and ice cream, but I suspect not in that order. She was going to pick up Tyler from church, too, and make a day of it with them.”
“I didn’t want to disrupt that. I saw Jonas is back behind the wheel.” Spence nodded toward the front of the store.
Danielle glanced up after hitting the speed dial. Jonas had been stopped at the front of the store by a member of their church and a patron of the bookstore, Lucy Chapin. They were talking, and as their voices carried, she could tell that Lucy was explaining how she and Jonas knew one another.
While Katherine’s phone began to ring, Danielle watched her brother carefully. He seemed to be eyeing the front of the store very intently, and it wasn’t Jonas he watched. Could it be that their loner of a brother hid a secret interest in pretty and funny Lucy?
“H-hello?” said a strained, tired-sounding voice on the other end of the connection.
“Katherine?” Danielle hardly recognized her own sister’s voice. “Kath, are you all right?”
“I don’t want you to worry. I’m resting, and I’m waiting for the doctor to call me b-back.” There was the faintest hint of fear in her seemingly calm voice.
Katherine was like that, so strong even in crisis. Danielle’s pulse kicked with worry. “I’m coming over. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“No, you don’t have to. You have enough on your plate with Jonas. I have this under control. I have my feet up and I’m staying quiet until—” There was a bump in the line. “Oh, can you hold on, Dani? That’s the doctor.”
“Sure.” Danielle heard a click and waited, praying that everything was going to be fine. Katherine had wanted a baby for a long time now. She deserved to have this pregnancy go smoothly. She deserved to be a mom.
Worry hooked her and automatically she turned to Jonas, her gaze fastening on his across the top of the new-arrivals display. Unlike old times, Jonas didn’t instantly know what she meant without words. He no longer understood her more than she did herself. But he did head toward her, moving swiftly with his cane. Before she knew it, his free hand enfolded hers and he towered above her, all concern.
Spence rubbed the back of his neck. “What’s wrong? What did she say?”
“I’m on hold while she talks with the doctor.”
“The doctor?”
She was glad for Jonas’s hand, comforting in hers.
The phone clicked, and Katherine spoke. “Dani? I need to get to the hospital, but I’m not supposed to drive. I can’t reach Jack.”
“One of us will be there in a few minutes. You hang tight, okay?” She kept her voice calm; it sure made a difference having Jonas with her. Clear and calm through the worry, she glanced at Spence, who nodded once and took off for the parking lot, pulling his keys out of his trouser pocket as he ran. “Katherine? Spence is on his way. He’ll be there in less than two minutes. You just stay calm.”
“I’m trying to.” Katherine did sound steadier than she had. “I’m trusting the Lord with this, that the baby will be okay.”
“I trust Him, too.” Danielle knew firsthand that things didn’t always turn out right, even if you did everything possible. She prayed that this would not be one of those times. “Are you in any pain?”
“I have a terrible headache. I would feel better if I could reach Jack, but I think he’s in some sort of a meeting.”
Jonas chose that moment to pull away from her, giving her a reassuring look as he made his way to the front desk. He spoke to the cashier, and she handed him the phone receiver.
Who was he calling? Danielle wondered, and then she knew. He was calling his old office. The number was probably still on the list of emergency numbers Spence always kept taped to the counter.
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��Don’t worry,” she told her sister. “Jonas will find Jack for you.”
“Bless him. He’s one of the good guys.”
“I know.” Danielle’s voice faltered. So much had changed. So much had gone wrong. And yet none of it, not even the unfairness of that single bullet nor the painful fight through his physical rehabilitation had changed the good in Jonas.
“Wait, that’s him calling in.” Katherine sounded relieved. “Thank Jonas for me.”
With a click, the connection ended. Danielle closed her phone and dropped it into her purse, hardly aware of anything except the man watching her from the counter. His gaze was steady, his stance solid, and his heart right there for her to see.
“Thank you.” Her voice failed, so she had to mouth the words, but she knew he heard them just the same.
“My pleasure.” He came her way, always her hero. “You might want to call your mom.”
“Right.” Her brain wasn’t working, but she fished her phone back out of her purse anyway. Jonas had always been able to do that to her, even after seven, no, nearly eight years of marriage—their anniversary was coming up soon. “Spence must be at her door by now. I’ll have Mom meet them. Oh, wait. I have to get the kids from her.”
“Tell you what. Why don’t I take ’em, and you and your mom can go together to check on your sister.” Composed, problem-solving, that was Jonas.
“I should stay with you.” She sorted through the numbers on the phone’s electronic list. “I can visit Katherine later.”
“How many times did Katherine come to the hospital for your sake, when I was there?” His voice came rough with emotion. “How much did she do for you while I was in the hospital or away at the rehab clinic?”
“More than I could begin to count.” Her family had been her foundation when Jonas had been unconscious. Their love had held her up when she hadn’t been sure she could go on. All the thousand things they did without once being asked.
“Then you should go.” His hand found her shoulder and settled there. His touch reminded her of all the times he had been her comfort, her support, her foundation. “Come on, we’ll meet your mom, and I’ll take the kids home.”
More respect for this man glowed to life deep within her. For a moment—just one moment—she allowed herself to lean against his chest and savor the familiar beat of his heart.
“Daddy!” Madison jumped up from dressing her doll, and the kitchen lights reflected on her jeweled tiara. “I getta answer the phone! I getta!”
Jonas closed the freezer door, set the frozen box on the counter and lifted the cordless receiver from the cradle. Madison bounced up and down at his knee, her doll with her. His daughter’s little hands were already reaching up, the doll tucked in her elbow. Her fingers grasped the receiver, but he got a glance at the caller ID. He hit the button for her, but she was already talking.
“Hello! Hello! How are yew?”
He could hear Danielle’s gentle laughter and then her soft alto saying, “Hello, bubbles,” before Madison tucked the phone snugly against her ear, button-cute, and began chattering away to her mommy.
Emotion balled up in his throat. It was starting to sink in exactly what he’d lost. What that speeder with an outstanding warrant and a gun had taken away from him. Battling down darker emotions, he ripped open the end of the box and slid the frozen pizza onto the big cookie sheet.
In the other room, the door slid shut and footsteps pounded through the living room. Tyler burst into sight, breathless and sprinkled with water droplets. “Dad! Dad! I put out a four-alarm blaze. Me and my men had a tough time.”
The little boy looked up at him with excitement shining on his face and love in his eyes. Tyler’s warm wet hand grabbed his and held on so tight. “We coulda used some help, though. Dad, can you come, too? After supper? Can ya?”
“Sure, son.” Jonas’s chest fluttered with unstoppable affection. The hand in his felt so small, so fragile, and held on with such need. How many imaginary fires had Tyler been forced to put out alone, because his dad wasn’t here to help him? Unquenchable anger surged through him, but it wasn’t nearly as strong as his love for his boy. “I’ll report to duty for the evening shift, Captain.”
“Okay!” Tyler’s grin was instant and impossibly wide. He broke away and yanked open the refrigerator. “Me and my men could use a break. We’re gonna get some rest and some fuel and then hit the line again.”
Right there in the middle of the kitchen with the oven beeper signaling that the oven was up to heat, and with Madison telling her mommy all about the new fancy sandals from Grammy, Jonas felt the distance the last year had put between him and his children. He’d studied the photo albums. Evidence of what he lost was right in front of him and plastered in wooden frames on the walls surrounding him.
He’d lost the last year of helping Tyler play fireman in the backyard and of watching Madison grow from a gurgling toddler to a talking little girl. He’d lost snuggles and laughter and time with each of them, precious time that was lost forever. Time that was ticking away even now as he poured his son a cup of juice.
He felt like the stranger, the outsider, fighting so hard to get back what he’d lost; he was only now seeing how impossible that job was. He loved his kids—there was no doubt about that. Whether he remembered them or not, no matter what the future brought. But it was time to get to know them, time to stop trying to gather memories that were already gone—and time to enjoy them right now.
Unbearable anger spiked through him like the sharp edge of a fireman’s axe, anger at the man who’d done this to his family. To his children. As he slid the pizza into the oven, he realized how much he hated all the moments of all the days that he hadn’t been here to ruffle Tyler’s brown hair, as he was doing now. Or to swing Madison up into his arms and to feel her fine baby hair against his jaw. He wanted to crush the man who had stolen so much from his children. From him.
He blew out a breath, realizing he was shaking with unfamiliar feelings, which he did not know how to deal with. As he watched Tyler chug down a glass of juice, the emotion kept building. He felt helpless beneath the power of it, helpless to know what to do.
“Daddy! It’s for yew!” Madison held out the phone.
“Thank you, princess.” He gave her a smacking kiss to her cheek, took the phone and set her carefully on her feet. She ran away, screeching after her brother, who was headed for the cookie jar, taking her doll with her.
“Jonas, I’m on my way home. Katherine is fine, but they’re keeping her overnight for observation.”
Danielle’s voice filled his ear, his thoughts, his heart. He had to clear the emotion from his throat before he could speak. “Th-that’s great. It was nothing serious?”
“Her blood pressure was way too high, but she’s on medication that should take care of that. What do you want me to pick up for dinner?”
He checked the time. “Don’t bother. Just come straight home. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too, handsome. I’m just a few minutes away.” After she said goodbye, she disconnected.
Jonas sighed, a little lonely without her.
“Dad! Can we have one?” Tyler’s hand was halfway to the counter as he gave a beseeching look.
Cute kid. Jonas’s heart gave a thump. “I’d let you, but your mom is on her way and something tells me, she won’t.”
“Pleeeaase?” Madison, standing next to her brother, pleaded with steepled hands.
This was his first stab at saying no. At being a real parent. He drew himself up, ready for the job. “Not now. Why don’t you two go wait for—” And there was the sound of the garage door opening.
“It’s Mommy!” Madison dashed through the kitchen, each sandal step striking sharp against the linoleum as she raced to meet her mother. Tyler followed her, dripping sprinkler water as he went. Their calls to their mom and their chatter when she opened the door rang like happy music through the house.
His dark emotions and anger had no place h
ere. Jonas stuffed them down and grabbed four plastic cups from the cupboard and limped his way across the kitchen, leaving his cane behind. Those emotions were holding him back, and he had a family to stand tall for. A wife to win back. Somehow his anger rose to the surface, anger he had to defeat. He would not let it touch what was precious in his life.
He set the cups on the edge of the table in the dining room adorned with family photos, and his gaze felt drawn to the framed, professional-sized picture with a wooden frame and elaborate matting. It was no ordinary picture, and not one of their family. Radiating beauty, it was a collector’s piece with a numbered tag tucked into the frame.
The simple shot was of a snow-covered evergreen branch. A mantle of pristine snow draped an evergreen’s uplifted bough. The limb reached upward like an arm to a stormy, roiling sky. A storm was breaking, gold and peach rays of the sun broke like hope through dismal clouds. Hebrews 11:1 was written in the corner, beneath a familiar signature.
Jonas remembered the text, and the words tugged at his heart like a comfort and a censure. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Yes, he thought, anger had no place in his heart, but faith did.
“See, Mommy, see?” Madison skipped into the room, her tiara askew. “I got a pink and a purple pair.”
“I see. Your grammy is spoiling you. Ice cream and new shoes?” Over the top of their daughter’s head, Danielle smiled at him. “What’s all this? There’s a bowl of fresh salad on the counter. Sliced garlic bread. And the table’s set.”
“Oh. I made dinner.” He went back to work setting the cups around the table. “It’s only frozen pizza, but it’ll be piping hot and on the table in fifteen minutes.”
“Only frozen pizza? Jonas, I can’t believe you did this. You’ve done everything.”
“Well, I haven’t solved world hunger or anything, but if it makes things easier for you, then I’m happy.”