by Jillian Hart
“You have.” Danielle took in the neatly set table, including paper napkins folded beneath the flatware, and the kitchen so tidy and clean. Jonas had done more than simply start dinner. He’d straightened up. He’d cleaned up the breakfast dishes she’d left in the sink. The day’s mail, including the bills, was neatly stacked next to the phone. He’d taken care of the kids, who were bubbling with happiness after spending a few hours with their daddy.
Their wonderful daddy. She ached with tenderness for this man. He was trying too hard, she could see the strain paling his face, but did it show in his voice or manner? No. There was only his endearing, lopsided grin and kindness.
She kissed Madison’s cheek, leaving her to her doll. Jonas had no idea, she was sure, of all the evenings she’d been alone with the kids, even before he’d been hurt. He had no idea the busyness of their lives had been putting distance between them, little spaces at a time.
“Pizza’s ready.” Jonas’s announcement was met with cheers from the little ones. “Tyler, will you get the oven gloves for me?”
The boy raced to obey, running to the stack of drawers next to the stove and hauling out the matching pink gingham mitts. He held them out, proud to be helping his father. Jonas took the gloves, fitting them onto his hands—somehow the pink mitts only emphasized his manliness—and opened the oven.
Tyler tipped his head back, gazing up at Jonas with wonder and awe on his face, as if the bullet had never happened. Air caught in her lungs. What mattered had not changed.
Her husband took out three trays from the oven. Two held pizzas, and the other held Tater Tots.
Not exactly the healthiest meal, but definitely comfort food. Food she was absolutely in need of now. Tyler was elated to be assisting his dad by digging through the drawer for a spatula and watching while Jonas scooted the steaming greasy tots onto a big platter.
“Goody! I love taters!” Madison clapped her hands together with surprised glee, and took off for the fridge. “I gotta have lotza catch-up!”
“Hold on there, bubbles.” Danielle caught the door and before Madison could empty out the refrigerator in search of the ketchup bottle, she pointed it out to her. “Right there, troubles.”
“I take it to the table for Daddy!” Madison clutched the plastic bottle with both hands, extracted it from the shelf in the door, knocking over a bottle of pickles, and took off in a flat-footed run to the table.
Danielle righted the bottle and closed the door. “What a good girl.”
“I know.” Madison pushed the bottle onto the edge of the table with both hands.
She set her purse next to the phone and noticed the bills. Best not to think about those right now. She reached for Madison’s hand. “Time to wash up. Come on, princess.”
“No-ooooo!” Madison shrieked, jerking back. “I kin do it!”
The doorbell rang, saving them all from Madison’s temper. As Tyler hurried to the door, Danielle glanced out the window over the sink. Spence’s big green truck was parked in the driveway.
“Uncle Spence!” Tyler called out as the door swung open.
“Sorry, I should have called, Dani.” Spence strode in, bringing the shadows with him. “Jonas said I could just come by. I’m on my way over to check on Katherine’s house for her. She’s got some roses I’m supposed to water.”
“Uncle Spence!” Madison flew toward him, arms outstretched. She giggled when he swept her up into the air.
“You get prettier every time I see you. How come you’re so pretty?”
“I’m a princess.” Madison snuggled against him. “Wanna see my doll?”
“Come see the fire I put out!” Tyler grabbed his uncle by the hand.
That was Spence, tough on the outside and good with fragile flowers and small children. She’d always had an enormous soft spot for her big brother. “Do you want to stay and eat with us? I think the kids would sure love it.”
“Oh, I don’t want to put you out.”
Jonas spoke up. “Not at all. We’d love to have you. Stay and enjoy my—” He paused, as if searching for the word. “Cooking masterpiece?”
“Culinary.” Danielle helped him out and, so that Spence wasn’t overwhelmed, took Madison into her arms. “That is, if you consider pizza and Tater Tots high cuisine.”
“It is in my book.” Spence still looked worried and strained, but he managed a short, brief half grin. “Jonas, did someone drop by the extra set of store keys?”
“Yep.” Jonas nodded toward the entry hall on his way to the table, pizza sheets in hand. “Lucy, the one I met at the store? She came by with them.”
“She closed up for me?” Spence winced. “They couldn’t get anyone else?”
That was a pretty convincing act, Danielle thought. If she hadn’t noticed his quick glance in the pretty blonde’s direction today, she would have believed him now. She understood why he tried so hard to deny the truth, perhaps even to himself. “Isn’t tonight singles Bible study over at the church? I’m guessing your staff didn’t want to be late for it. It sounds pretty generous of Lucy to have offered to stay and lock up the bookstore.”
Spence passed a hand over his face. “No, I know. I’ll need to thank her. Maybe I’ll send a note.”
“A phone call would be better.” Danielle couldn’t resist a tiny suggestion. “Or, you might want to repay her for her trouble. Maybe a nice dinner?”
“I know what you’re up to. You’re no better than Katherine, trying to match me up with that woman.” Spence scowled, but his eyes looked so sad as he headed toward the fridge. “You kids want juice?”
“Yay!”
“Yip!”
Spence, as always, made himself useful by carrying the juice bottle to the table and began pouring for the kids. She caught Jonas watching her. There was that gentleness again, making his eyes deepen. Jonas no longer reached out to pull her snugly against his chest, rest his chin on the top of her head and enfold her in his strong arms. She wished he would. She needed him so much, but she tried to be patient and she tried to trust where God was leading them.
If only it were easier. The loneliness within her—the kind that only Jonas could drive away—settled like a weight in her soul.
“I get to say grace?” Tyler pleaded, as he climbed into his chair. “Pleeaase?”
“Mommy!” Madison grabbed Danielle by the hand and tugged.
The children needed her. No, needed them. So she gathered her determination and let her daughter lead her to the table, where her husband, bless him, held her chair out for her. Something he hadn’t done in years.
Chapter Ten
After a quick stop at the florist the next morning, Danielle headed straight to the hospital, the same one where Jonas had stayed for so long. She’d gone there so many times the minivan could probably drive itself. She pulled into visitor parking, grabbed her purse and the bouquet of cheerful flowers and headed toward the entrance in the fresh summer sunshine.
As she walked the somber halls, it was the little things that flashed her back to that horrible afternoon, almost a year ago now. The tap, tap of her shoes and the strange echo of noises against the bleak long walls. The antiseptic and sadness in the air made her mouth go dry and fear taste coppery on her tongue. She’d walked down a corridor just like this one on her way to see Jonas in ICU for the first time. She’d prayed so hard then, and she prayed as hard now for her sister’s sake.
“Dani! Over here.” Ava poked out of a doorway and waved, her wedding ring sparkling in the light. She looked as adorable as ever with her blond hair and big sparkling eyes. “They’re sending Katherine home today. Good news, huh? But wait, how are things on your end? I hear that Jonas took you on a second date and drove.”
“He did. He’s doing very well.”
“He’ll be as good as new soon, you just wait.” Ava grabbed her hand and gave her a heartening squeeze.
Danielle prayed that Ava was right. She had so many worries and it was harder to withstand them without he
r best friend, her husband. “I should probably take these to her house, then. I imagine—”
Welcomes interrupted her. “Dani!” “Hi, stranger.” “Good morning, baby,” all rose simultaneously from the cluster of her family around Katherine’s bed.
“—that Kath has about a zillion flowers,” she finished, noticing the colorful arrangements on every available surface of the room. “Good morning. I should have known it was standing room only.”
Mom broke free, arms wide, to give her a hug. “You look tired. What can I do for you? How about I swing by and help you out with the housework after we get Katherine settled?”
“No, Mom. I should be helping you.”
“Dani, thanks for the flowers.” Katherine looked tired and pale, but other than that, good. Jack was at her side, a big strapping man, holding her hand as if he never intended to let go.
“You have a rose garden here already. I don’t think there’s any room for my contribution. Katherine, you look perky.” Dani stopped at the foot of the bed, taking in the sight of her older sister. Her stepsister, sure, but love had made them real sisters.
“I am perky compared to yesterday.” Katherine managed a real smile.
“You’ll feel even better when you’re back in your own bed. I’m guessing they’re putting you on bed rest?”
“You guessed right.” Katherine rolled her eyes heavenward. “I’ll do anything for the baby, absolutely. But I’m hoping that heaven is going to be kind when I have to tell Spence that Ava and Aubrey have abandoned him, and I’m the only family left that’s working for him.”
Jack added a little forcefully, “I’m telling him, and I’ll make sure he’s nice about it. He wants the best for you.”
“Speaking of him, where is he?” Danielle glanced around the room, nodding to her dad, and her other sisters. “He must have opened the bookstore?”
“No one’s heard from him.” Katherine shrugged. “I suspect he’s upset about this. You know how he gets. Whenever he feels any emotion whatsoever he works even harder.”
Mom shuffled vases at the windowsill. “Heaven knows I’ve tried with that boy. John, what are you going to do about our son?”
“Ignore it and hope things right themselves on their own?” Dad quipped.
Dorrie chuckled. “How did I know? Girls, witness your father’s philosophy on everything these days. Look what I have to contend with.”
“Totally terrible.” Ava gave Dad a squeeze in fun. “As for Spence, no sane woman is going to have him if he keeps this up, and guess what that means? Yep, that we’ll never get rid of him. You have to help him, Dad. The rest of us have tried and failed.”
“You don’t think I’ve tried?” Dad sighed, and although they were talking about Spence with love, there was no mistaking the sadness on their father’s face. “I’ve tried more than you know.”
Danielle couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Guess who locked up the store for Spence yesterday after he ran out to take care of you, Kath?”
Katherine sat up a little straighter. “You mean he just left, without putting anyone in charge?”
“All he cared about was getting to you because Jack couldn’t. And yes, Lucy locked up.”
“Lucy Chapin?” Ava’s jaw dropped. “I thought he couldn’t stand her.”
“All I know is that she dropped the keys by our house and left them with Jonas, since our house isn’t far from Spence’s.” Hope, that’s what she saw on her family’s faces. “She volunteered to do it, which means—”
“She wanted to help Spence!” Ava burst out. “This is totally super-duper. Katherine, you called it. You said you thought Spence might be interested in her.”
Dad looked around, a little confused, and Mom, after so many years of marriage, knew his question and asked it for him. “Who’s this Lucy? Is she a nice girl?”
“The nicest,” Lauren said reassuringly, who pitched in whenever the staffing situation was dire at the bookstore. “She belongs to a couple of reader groups, and comes by to sign whenever she has a new book out. You couldn’t meet anyone nicer.”
“A book? You mean she’s an author? Oh, so she’s a career woman.” Dad seemed to say that as though it wasn’t a good thing.
And it probably wasn’t, not for Spence. Still, there was hope. Danielle knew it.
Her phone rang, its electronic tune muffled by her purse. Her home number was on the screen. “Excuse me,” she said over her shoulder, heading toward the hall.
“Dani?” Jonas’s baritone sounded so good. “Spence just showed up. I wanted to check with you. He needs some help setting things up at Katherine’s house. I told him I’d like to pitch in. Katherine’s stepdaughter has offered to watch the kids. I wanted to check in with you and make sure it was okay.”
Unexpected tears scorched the backs of her eyelids. To think that here he was, ready to run off and help out the family with Spence, tied her up in inexplicable knots. He was getting stronger by the day, his speech was improving, and the memory he did have was very good. God had been more than gracious by answering her prayers and bringing Jonas back to them.
It was enough. She had to stop wishing for what she didn’t have. Especially when she was deeply grateful for what she did have.
“Of course, that’s a great idea.” She hoped her voice sounded normal and not strained with emotion. “I’ll meet you at Jack and Katherine’s house.”
“Good. I’ll look forward to seeing you.”
Her heart filled at the sincerity in his words. She could picture him in her mind’s eye, standing so stalwart, a stronger man for all the hardship he had been through and conquered. She couldn’t wait to see him.
Jonas. The moment she set foot inside Katherine’s front door, loaded down with groceries, her gaze roved to where he stood in the living room. He was moving a small end table into place next to a double bed. Dad and Spence were repositioning the television in the corner, and they called out a greeting. But she only had eyes for her husband.
Jonas might be leaning on a cane, but he looked good giving the table a final tug. Very good. It was as if the scent of the hospital still clung to her and the hard memories with it. She forced the image of seeing him in ICU from her thoughts, when he’d been nearly lifeless and unable to breathe on his own. Gladness filled her at how far he had come.
“Hey, beautiful.” Jonas’s baritone sounded intimate and caring, although they were far from alone. “I told your dad and Spence that we need a woman’s opinion before Katherine sees this for the first time. She might not like what Jack wanted done to her living room.”
She loved the glimmer of humor in his eyes. She tried not to think of all the long-standing jokes between them. Of the times when he might have said, “The wife is in charge of the house, shouldn’t Jack know that?”
But that was the old Jonas. This Jonas was different, but still hers. Yes, she thought, her heart soaring, he was all hers.
She considered the view of the living room, limited by the full paper bags she was clutching. “I’m not sure what Katherine is going to think. The bed doesn’t exactly match her couch.”
Dad stepped away, studying the angle of the television. “Sure, but she’ll be able to spend her days downstairs, instead of cooped up in the bedroom all day for the next five months.”
“Sure, it’s a good idea,” Danielle agreed. It was awfully sweet of Jack. “Katherine will be very comfortable here, but you might want to move the second couch back in here. Somehow. If there’s room.”
Jonas rubbed his chin, considering. “We could move the bookcase out and put the couch against the wall. Dani’s right. The whole family is going to be trooping in and out of here, and what about holidays? You’ll need room enough for everyone to sit.”
“I hadn’t thought that far.” Dad’s grin was sheepish. “I can see I have some long-term planning to do. Okay, Spence, ready to manhandle that bookcase?”
Spence scowled, but that was normal for him. “Ready when you are, Da
d.”
Danielle was vaguely aware of Mom bustling on to the kitchen, of Dad and Spence hefting up the bookcase, apparently hoping all the books would stay in place. All she could focus on was Jonas coming toward her. She might not be able to tell what he was thinking, but he looked happy, as if contributing had brought him a sense of purpose.
“Let me take those for you.” He scooped his arm around the bags, so close she could see the smooth-shaven texture of his jaw and the midnight flecks in his eyes.
Any nearer and it would be nothing at all for him to lean in for a kiss. Sweet longing filled her, and she forced her gaze down to the grocery bags he took from her arms.
“These are heavy.” He winked at her, as if to let her know that they weren’t too heavy for him. “What do you have in here?”
“A few boulders. A barbell or two.” She loved that her gentle joke made him laugh as he kept at her side, his cane muted by the carpet.
Mom was in the kitchen, already at work with cabinets open and the pantry door flung wide and pots of differing sizes setting on the stove. “Just put them on the counter there, Jonas,” she was saying.
Danielle’s gaze went to the wide windows and the backyard where teenage Hayden leaped through the sprinkler with Tyler and Madison. Tyler was laughing, Madison was squealing with each blast of the sprinkler, and the high sound penetrated the glass doors quite easily.
If her heart wasn’t airborne before, it was now. Her kids were happy and healthy, as was her husband. It was blessing enough.
Jonas’s hand settled lightly on her shoulder. “Your pregnancies were okay, weren’t they?”
The worry in his voice—the concern for her—brought the burning feeling back to her eyes. “Yes. I was great. I sailed right through all nine months, both times. There were no complications.”
“Whew. I’m glad.” He didn’t move, his hand a steady comfort, and his touch a soothing balm.
For the first time in what felt like ages, she didn’t feel sorely alone. All the ways she had needed her husband over the last year ached within her—all but one. She soaked in his comforting touch and felt it strengthen her.