The Beast Inside

by David Horrocks

  Alice was almost sure there was some kind of mistake. The mirror had to be broken or it wasn't her within it at all and it was in fact an illusion. She had never seen herself that way before and found it hard to believe that she could even be considered to be beautiful.

  Olivia had loaned Alice white pearl earrings that replaced the usual cheap studs that nestled tightly in her pierced ears and with it a matching heirloom pearl necklace that her own grandmother had passed down to her. Olivia never had a daughter of her own, so she insisted that Alice wear them for that special occasion.

  In addition to the jewelry, she had dug out a long sleeved, purple dress and high heeled shoes to go along with them. The dress was a little large and had to be pinned back with safety pins in a couple of places to make it fit, but it was Alice's favourite colour, so the size issue didn't bother her so much. It reached down to her ankles, which could have been a problem if it wasn't for the extra inches that the heels gave her.

  The shoes themselves were one size too big as well, so the straps had to be tightened as much as possible. It was far from perfect, but Alice felt like royalty. She had never worn clothes as fancy as these and somehow felt as though she never would again, and so she wanted to enjoy the moment while it lasted.

  Olivia moved her hands up, clasping them together in front of her chest. She sighed dreamily and took a step back before speaking.

  "Sam is going to absolutely love you in this dress. You'll make a cute couple."

  Alice raised both eyebrows quizzically. There must have been some confusion somewhere as her and Sam were just friends. They had both had grown up as an only child and shared that kinship. She saw him as the brother she never had and loved him as she would a sibling, nothing more.

  "Sam and I aren't a couple…” Alice was sincere, but tried to break the news gently. “I’m afraid that I don't really see him in that way. He’s the closest that I’ve ever had to a brother."

  Turning to put away a brush and the bottle of hairspray, Olivia was busy tidying as she replied.

  “I think you need to tell him that then, honey, as he seems to be thinking differently these days."

  Sam's heart fluttered as he watched Alice taking her first elegant steps down the stairs, the dress accentuating the shape of her legs. She was so stunning it caused him to gulp audibly as her right hand moved slowly down the polished wooden bannister. Loosening his bow tie and the top button of his rental tuxedo, he felt all hot and bothered by the image set before him. She looked so flawless that he forgot his troubles, purging any negativity from his mind. It was like seeing her for the first time all over again, but this time in slow motion.

  As Alice approached the last few steps, Sam knew for sure that he loved her without question. He had always loved her, but found it impossible to express it now as he was left completely speechless by her beauty.

  "Hi, Sam." She said shyly. "Are you ready to go?"

  He nodded once, still unable to speak. He had never been so nervous in his life. Gently taking her delicate hand, he saw that the night before them held so much promise. Although they were going to be surrounded by other students at the dance, he also knew everyone there was going to be jealous of his perfect prom date. His goddess.

  **********

  The awkward teens were dropped off at school by Sam's parents, allowing Alice and Sam to walk unhindered into the sports gym where the senior prom was being held. Simon had offered to be a chaperone for the the dance, but Sam had shot him down by stating that it would be the 'worst idea ever'. So both him and Olivia played the part of the dutiful parents, leaving the kids to have fun before driving home to wait eagerly.

  Pushing the double doors to the gym hall wide open, the pair could see the heavily decorated interior. Sequinned fabric covered the walls, causing them to sparkle in the ever changing disco lights. Beneath them covered tables surrounded by an assortment of chairs. One of the jocks, who thought himself a DJ too, was blasting music out of his father's expensive entertainment system, with the speakers blaring with bass lines and heavy beats.

  A temporary stage, complete with a podium had been erected at the far side of the gymnasium, with a snacks counter to its right, made complete with its cliche punch bowl that would likely be spiked by one of the 'cool' kids at some point during the night.

  Alice held her breath with suspense as they entered holding hands, whereas Sam was quite the opposite, bursting with confidence and swaggering in like he owned the place. Everyone present turned to stare with what appeared to be awe, stopping all conversation in order to watch the newcomers make their way across the dance floor and to an unoccupied table.

  It surprisingly went better than Alice had expected as she took her seat. Sam was trying to yell something to her, but she couldn't hear over the noise, so she just nodded and hoped that it was the correct response. He seemed happy enough as he meandered over to the punch bowl to obtain some drinks.

  Taking a few deep breaths and exhaling slowly, Alice actually felt like she fit in for once. Everyone had gone back to their conversations and were no longer making her feel like she was the center of attention. She took another long look around the populated room, taking in the atmosphere and found that she was actually starting to feel like a normal girl. Maybe things would go well that night after all.

  Sam and Alice had been at the prom for over an hour, dancing, enjoying themselves and having the time of their lives. People strangely kept approaching Alice at regular intervals to compliment her on her fantastic taste in fashion, and she seemed to be taking the compliments well, enjoying the rare boost to her ego. It was probably one of the best social experiences of her life until the moment that she excused herself to go to the bathroom.

  Alice was just finishing up and was about to flush the toilet when she heard some other girls enter, laughing about something unintelligible. One of the voices she recognised as Rachel Belmont, a girl who had picked on her since middle school, but for some reason had been extremely pleasant and polite to her that night.

  Her friendly attitude had apparently all been a ruse, as Alice listened to Rachel talk to her two groupies from the safety of the locked stall.

  "I can't believe that freak believes everyone loves that ugly dress."

  Alice instantly knew that they were talking about her, lifting her feet up off the ground so that they couldn't be seen under the cubicle door. She dared not say a word, not wanting to alert them to her presence for fear of reprisal.

  "I know, right?" One of the other two said. "I wonder what she would do if she knew how much everyone was laughing behind her back."

  Alice bit her lip hard, drawing a little blood as she sat there without making a sound.

  Rachel responded, her voice speaking in her usual bitchy tone.

  "Oh my God, her dress looks like it's an eighties throwback and it's way too big. I mean pins? Super tacky. She looked like a twig in wrapping paper."

  Her friends cackled, believing they were the wittiest people in the world.

  "You're too funny, Rach. Also, those heels looked like freakin' clown shoes. Way too big."

  Understandably devastated by their blatant two faced attitudes, Alice switched off and completely ignored their continuous bitching. What had she done to deserve their hatred? She had never been mean back to them and had always tried to be friendly, but they shunned her regardless. Was she really so bad a person to get to know? All she had was one single friend out of the billions of people in the world. It couldn't be fair to be treated like she was less than nothing.

  The trio continued to bad mouth Alice. Something about fashion shaming her till she crawled off back to 'whatever swamp she emerged from' to die alone. It was then that Rachel's voice took on a more sinister tone.

  "You know what we should do?"

  There was a slight pause before one of the other two gave up trying to guess and answered with a question.

  "No, what?"

  "Come with me, girls. Let's grab some art s
upplies. We're going to give that crappy dress a brand new paint job and that skank can get a little makeover too."

  One of them snorted gleefully.

  "Rach, you're so evil. I love it!"

  The girls left the bathroom to collect whatever they needed to carry out their cruel prank, laughing hysterically like predatory hyenas as they went.

  Alice sat there wondering why her parents had ever brought her to this horrid place and why anyone would even want to ruin her dress. She wasn't a people person no matter how much she wanted to be or however much she had tried. There was something about her that didn't click with others and so they targeted her because she was different to them.

  In that very moment Alice had never felt so hideous or unwanted in her entire life. Her self esteem was at an all time low, but she knew exactly what she had to do. She had to somehow escape the building and make it all the way home without being spotted or cornered by anyone who wanted to do her harm. A seemingly impossible task due to the sheer number of adversaries in the way.

  **********

  Sam had spent around twenty to thirty minutes frantically searching for Alice throughout the school building. There was no way that she could have been in the bathroom for so long, so he suspected that something was amiss. He tried asking around, but no-one had any idea where the poor girl was, or they just didn't want to say.

  That was until Sam saw the sly grins of Rachel Belmont and friends. One look at their smug faces and he knew something awful had happened. He was about to confront them directly when he heard quiet sobbing echo down the hallway from somewhere near the main stairwell.

  Alice was hunkered down next to some lockers outside the bathroom, head nestled into the skirt of her dress as she used the folds of fabric to dry her eyes. She was covered from head to toe in a rainbow of different colours. The dress had been completely ruined by paint splatter and her hair was drenched in it too.

  Sam thought about running back into the gymnasium to beat the hell out of the culprits, but stopped himself as he knew Alice wouldn't want him to do that. Rage was bubbling up inside of him, but he slowly approached instead, sliding his back down the wall to squat on the floor next to her.

  The second he put his arm around Alice’s shoulders, she slumped into his lap, still bawling her eyes out. No words were exchanged as he ran his fingers through her hair in an attempt to ease her emotional pain. Sam hated seeing her that way, but it was too late. The damage had already been done and he would never forget who did this to her. There was no excuse for this level of cruelty. Especially not towards someone as innocent and precious as his Alice.

  Having relocated to sit on a small brick wall outside the main door of the building, Sam removed his tuxedo jacket and wrapped it around Alice to keep her warm. He didn't give a damn about getting it dirty and knew his parents would understand if they lost the deposit for the rental. They were awaiting a ride from Simon, who Sam had called just a few minutes prior. He knew Alice was still in a dismal mood as she hadn't said a single word, her oversized shoes now off and resting next to her on the brickwork.

  Using his sleeve to gently wipe a smear of blue paint from Alice's cheek, Sam wondered if he could cheer her up by finally expressing his true feelings. After all, who wouldn't feel better after a declaration of love? It would surely be seen as a romantic gesture and she wouldn't be able to resist the pull of destiny. He still thoroughly believed that they were meant to be together. It was written in the stars.

  Still unable to find the right words Sam lightly touched Alice's chin, carefully turning her head to face him. Once their eyes had met, he took a moment to admire every feature of her face, puffy red eyes and all. He felt that this had to be as good a moment as any and awkwardly swooped in, lips puckered as he went for his first ever kiss. However, it didn't exactly go as planned, nor did it last as long as he had hoped either. His timing was way off.

  The very second their lips touched, Alice opened her eyes wide with sudden surprise and pulled back instantaneously. She hadn't expected nor anticipated this situation to arise, at least not right at that very moment. Sam looked aggravated by her reaction, which caused her to feel irrevocably guilty. Maybe she had unintentionally been sending out the wrong signs which caused him to get his wires crossed.

  "I'm sorry... I can't."

  Sam's brow scrunched up, displaying his annoyance for her to see.

  "You can't what?"

  "I can't do this." Alice said wearily.

  He stood up and waved his arms in frustration. "But I love you!"

  Unable to maintain eye contact with him, Alice looked down at the ground, crossing her arms over in front of her chest as if to guard herself from him and his ever raising voice.

  "I know... I love you too, but not in the way you want. I can't bring myself to feel about anyone that way."

  He began to pace, continuing to wave his hands expressively as he did so. "Why? I don't understand."

  "We're friends, Sam. We've always been friends. I don't want that to change."

  Without even thinking things over first, Sam exploded in a rage that he would regret later.

  "You're broken, Alice. I keep trying to help, but you don't let me. Why won't you let me in?"

  "Broken? How can you say that?"

  She was clearly wounded by his words, never expecting her dearest friend to turn on her in such a manner. Her posture changed completely, making herself seemingly shrink in size, as if her body was collapsing in on itself. Sam's anger appeared to feed off it as he got right up in her face, no longer talking, but yelling at the top of his lungs.

  "Because you are! You always have been! I tried to fix you, but I can't! You just broke me instead... I see things... I see things I don't want to see and I can't sleep because of it! I've tried everything and it just doesn't work! And now?!? I give up!!! I'm done, Alice! I'm honestly done with it all, and I'm done with you!!!"

  Alice couldn't take him shouting anymore, pushing off the wall before running off with bare feet as fast as she possibly could. The tuxedo jacket fell from her shoulders, slumping to the ground in a heap as she disappeared into the treeline.

  By the time Sam managed to calm down, Alice was already long gone. There was a horrible taste in his mouth as his stomach churned in abhorrence at his actions. The words that had left his mouth were repugnant and made him feel nauseous. Why couldn't he have just bitten his tongue and kept his big fat mouth shut? He had been so selfish and had picked the worst possible time to pull this stunt. Why did he have to be so socially inept? What a complete and utter self centered idiot he was.

  "Alice! I'm sorry! Please come back!"

  Sam called out into the night right up until the time his parents arrived. He didn't expect her to answer, but he had to try. He had a gut wrenching feeling that he had irreparably damaged their relationship, but only time would tell. First he had to enlist his mom and dad's help in finding Alice. He hoped against hope that she was okay and wouldn't do anything stupid. More than anything he just wanted to see her safe return.

  **********

  Even though Sam apologised for his harsh words on the night of the senior prom, he wouldn't retract his declaration of love for Alice, as it was how he honestly felt. She maintained that they should remain friends and that his feelings were a mistake. He deserved someone better than her. He needed a whole person who wasn't 'broken' as he had put it. She knew that she wasn't right for him and probably never would be.

  The initial awkwardness passed after a day or two, but the pair had grown apart, with each party remaining somewhat distant, both physically and mentally. The friendship still existed, but it was just a shadow of its former self. Olivia noticed the change, but neither of them would talk to her about what had happened, so she eventually left them to it with the hope that things would repair themselves given time.

  It was the the year of graduation and new beginnings, with the prospect of university or a career on the horizon. Alice passed her exams with
flying colours, while Sam only just managed to scrape through. He had seemingly given up on studying after falling out with his best friend and study partner.

  Slowly sinking into depression due to feeling rejected, Sam decided to try and pull himself out of the rut by taking a year out and travelling across America. His new plan was to take time for himself, get a job upon his return and then possibly consider going to college afterwards. He needed to think everything over and maybe find himself in the process.

  Leaving everyone behind in Birchfield, Sam didn't think to invite Alice despite her obvious wish to travel with him. After all, he wanted to be alone in his soul seeking, without distractions and Alice Delaney was the biggest distraction of all.

  Alice was saddened by the news of Sam leaving, knowing full well that the likelihood of their friendship recovering lessened by the day. She wanted to chase after him without his permission, but didn't have the courage to leave the relative comfort of town without his support, and so she concentrated on progressing her own life instead.

  Unable to afford college on her own, Alice had no credit score to speak of and was unable to apply for a loan. The Mitchell's weren’t financially able to assist her either and so she applied for job as a waitress at Maggie's Diner, with the goal of earning her way up to higher education. She saved for a deposit on a used moped from Chuck's Auto Sales in order to drive herself to work. Up until then she had to rely on Simon or Olivia to pick her up and drop her off, so it was nice for her to gain a little bit of independence.

  Alice missed Sam dearly, almost as much as she did her parents. She waited for him to call, but as the days turned into weeks he never made contact, at least not directly. Three months passed, with Alice often returning from work to find him on the phone with his parents, but he would always hang up as soon as they put her on the line. It was more than clear that he didn't want to speak with her. Alice now knew for a fact that she had lost the only true friend she had ever had in her life and it was almost too much to bear.