Guilty Pleasures

by Kitty Thomas

  But she couldn’t get it from Anton, either. He’d make her hurt, not just physically, but emotionally. She watched the bruises and welts fade in the mirror a little more each day as her opportunity to get damning evidence of his abuse slipped away.

  A decisive peace fell over her as she saw herself taking control of her life and for once doing what she wanted, leaving her gilded cage with Michael and her warped cage with Anton for a world that was scarier, but free.

  She met the reflection of her eyes steadily and applied her cherry-red lip gloss, pressing her lips together with a pop.

  Not a victim.

  Not a whore.

  The woman who walked into Dome today would be different from the one who’d left on Thursday. This Vivian had determined to be honest and unapologetic.

  She signed in at three fifteen. At three thirty her name was called and she went back to that room that made her ache so deeply she couldn’t think.

  Anton smiled when he saw her. “I knew you’d be here. I am rarely wrong about people.”

  She smiled back and crossed the floor to lay her purse on the massage table. “I’m leaving Michael.”

  A look of surprise fell over Anton’s features, but she pressed on before he could reiterate his speech about not getting attached.

  “What you’ve done to me is completely wrong. You should be locked up. I worry about the other women coming here, what you’re doing to them. But I also wonder why they aren’t reporting you, either.

  “You’re right. I’m not your girlfriend. My husband is out of town right now. He’ll be back next Thursday. Until that time I’ll see you, but then I’m done. With you and with him. I’ll figure something out.”

  He arched a brow, his face a mixture of shock and amusement. “My flower is opening up and growing up, I see. Taking responsibility for your own decisions now? Right or wrong?”

  “Yes, Sir.” She put emphasis on the Sir, not wanting him to think her little monologue meant she wasn’t going to fully submit to his every sadistic desire behind this door. She’d already decided she would. She had three or four sessions with him at most. Then she’d never see him again. He could show that shit to Michael, or post it on the Internet, or sell tickets for all she cared. She was done pretending that was why she came to him.

  He’d opened something inside her. Fucked-up bastard or not, she couldn’t punish him for that. But she also couldn’t indefinitely submit to it. She couldn’t lose the part of herself she’d just found, or have her entire personality subsumed underneath his sadism.

  He chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t know whether you’re very brave or very stupid. I certainly don’t consider you very smart.”

  She shrugged. “I wasn’t aware I had to pass an IQ test to be your part-time sex slave.”

  His eyes narrowed. “I’ve indulged you and let you speak your mind, but take too many liberties and you’ll wish you hadn’t come back to the devil for a few last sins.”

  She lowered her eyes to the ground as a tremor went through her. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Did you do think about the cane when you touched yourself?”

  The blush in her cheeks was all the answer he needed.

  “Lock the door,” he said.

  She obeyed and followed him into the apartment.

  He used her as an object, a toy. Within minutes of the second door closing behind them, he had her naked and on her knees.

  “Do you know what you are to me, Vivian?” he asked, stroking her cheek absently.

  “No, Sir.”

  “You are a series of warm holes, each of which I will take and use for my own pleasure. If you please me, I’ll show you kindness and return that pleasure.”

  She couldn’t stop the little whimper that came out of her mouth.

  “Deep down, you’re a filthy little slut. Aren’t you, flower?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “My blackmail held no further power over you and instead of enjoying your freedom and making new living arrangements, instead of taking the opportunity to report me to the authorities like a sane individual, you decided it might be fun to come back here and see just how hard I could ride you until your time was up. Do I have that right?”

  She didn’t look up, but imagined there must be a smirk on his face. He must be thinking she was the most perfect victim to ever walk through his door and spread her legs for him. Her entire body felt hot, flushed with a wanton desire that climbed with each mocking word that tumbled from his mouth.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He cupped her chin with one hand, raising her face so her eyes met his as he stroked a thumb over her lower lip. “Today I want to use this hole. Open. Show me what a good little cocksucker you can be.”

  Her lips parted. She wasn’t sure which was wetter, her pussy, or her mouth, which had started salivating as soon as his cock prodded her lips. She inhaled the musky male aroma of him, felt herself slipping further under his control. She had the fleeting fear that letting herself go like this might mean she no longer had a choice to leave him when Michael returned.

  Could he break her will so quickly? How much fire am I playing with? Rhetorical questions.

  As his cock slid into her mouth, his hand gripping the back of her neck, trapping her there, she wondered if she’d have the strength to leave either man. Or if she was wrapping herself in yet another bubble of denial. Something to make it easier to face herself, to ease herself into the bed she’d just made.

  She took him in, sucking, swirling her tongue over that impossibly soft skin. She felt the first glistening beads of pre-cum drip down her throat, and she pulled back to lick the tip of his cock, tasting him. She reached up to fondle his balls and was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath.

  Then he put an end to her teasing as he started to thrust harder. She allowed her jaw to relax, knowing all he wanted from her was a passive hole at the moment. She accepted it as he fucked her mouth, finding herself growing wetter the more coldly he used her. Whatever was wrong with her, she no longer cared as he spilled into her and down her throat.

  “Swallow every drop.”

  Well, that was wasted speech. She’d intended on doing that anyway. It would have only been a hard order to obey if he’d denied her the pleasure of drinking him.

  Anton went soft in her mouth and pulled out of her. She felt herself as a bundle of nerve endings all poised and waiting for any sensation from him. Would it be pleasure or pain? A little of both maybe?

  Neither.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “What?”

  He snapped his fingers in front of her face, no doubt to wipe away the glazed look that must be in her eyes. She looked up at him trying to think if she was hungry or not. She hadn’t eaten since eleven that morning, but she wouldn’t have thought of it if he hadn’t asked. She was too distracted.

  “Are you hungry?” he repeated, sounding agitated now.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “I’m going to get us some food, then.”

  She wanted to say, ‘What about me?’ but she stopped the words in time.

  He looked down at her and chuckled, petting her head like a dog that had pleased him with a good trick. “Don’t worry, flower, we’re not finished. But I missed lunch again, and I don’t have time to get into what I want to get into with you before my five o’clock. You don’t have a set time to be home now. We don’t have to rush.”

  Her stomach did a little aroused flip. Then she felt a twinge over the idea of his five o’clock. It wasn’t jealousy but worry for the other women he saw and touched. When he left Vivian alone to get their dinner, she knew what she had to do.

  Coercion wasn’t consent. She may not have come undone from this; the net result may have been what she needed to move her life forward. Morality aside. But she couldn’t selfishly spend the next week with Anton, while he victimized others if she could stop it. How would she live with herself if she did? This wasn’t just about her.

  She’d bett
er enjoy whatever he did today, because tomorrow she had to go to the police. If not for her own sake, for the sake of the others he touched.

  He was back fifteen minutes later with fruit and large salads filled with meat, veggies, and cheese. It was practically an entree.

  He sat the tray down. Lines formed between his eyes as he regarded her. She tried to wipe any tell tale emotion from her face that might give away her plans to end this and him.

  After a few moments he seemed to decide everything was okay.

  “Come.”

  She started to get up to follow him, but he shook his head. “On your knees.”

  Vivian crawled across the floor behind him. He put his food and glass of water on the desk and hers on the floor.

  “Eat.”

  She opened her mouth to make a smart ass remark, but seeing the stern look in his eyes made her drop her gaze back to the floor and her food. They ate quietly, and when they were both finished, he led her to the bathroom and gestured to the tub.

  “Please don’t chain me up. You know I’m not going anywhere.” She hated that trapped feeling she’d gotten when he’d chained her and left her the last time. It was too helpless, too dependent. As much as some things he did turned her on, other things . . .

  “That’s not what I’m concerned about. I don’t want you touching yourself while I’m gone.”

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  “Get. In.”

  She reluctantly climbed into the tub and offered her wrists so he could cuff them to the bar. He left and returned moments later with a vibrator. “The lube is in the other room, but I’m quite sure it won’t be necessary,” he said.

  Her face flamed as he easily slid the toy inside her. He turned it to the lowest setting, flicked off the light, and shut the door.

  In the dark, windowless room, her entire universe centered now on her pussy and the pathetic vibrations that couldn’t get a porn star off. All the toy could do was torture her.

  It could have been two minutes, two hours, or two weeks when she heard the door open and the light switch flip. It was jolting to have the bathroom bathed in so much light all at once. She’d spent the past however long feeling like she was floating someplace between dreams and consciousness, that steady, dull vibration pushing at the edges of her sanity, making her so desperate to come, she’d do anything.

  Which she was sure was exactly where Anton wanted her.

  He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed while he watched her writhe around in the tub. “I can’t imagine how sloppy wet that vibrator is now. I’m surprised it didn’t fall out.”

  Her only reply was a whimper, too afraid to say the wrong thing.

  “If it had, you would have been in for a lot of pain this evening.” He observed her for another couple of minutes. “Did you lose your ability to speak?”

  “No, Sir.”

  He closed the distance between them and removed the toy, then held it to her lips. “Clean it.”

  She obediently licked it clean, her arousal peaking further when she thought it could go no higher. She wriggled her wrists, causing the cuffs to clang against the metal bar. “Please, Sir.”

  He uncuffed her, then handed her a washcloth. “Clean yourself, and do not even think about trying to masturbate. Then I want you to get dressed.”

  A panicked tear slid down her cheek that he wasn’t going to let her come. He wiped it away with his thumb.

  “I like you best this way, flower. So desperate and horny you’d do anything. Everyone’s gone for the day. We’re going to my house where I have more toys. You can stay the night.”

  Vivian had been rubbing the wet cloth over her folds, trying not to linger, trying not to masturbate or buck her hips, when his words stopped her.

  “Stay the night?”

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

  “Yes, Sir.” The idea of seeing his house, sleeping in his bed, and waking up with him the next morning, felt exciting. But at the same time, it would do nothing to help her actually end this when she’d intended. Was that why he was trying to draw her closer? To keep her?

  He’d already said they didn’t and wouldn’t have a relationship. It wouldn’t work. He wasn’t a man she could ever love. Whatever happened tonight, tomorrow she had to go to the police.

  “Let’s go then.”

  He held her hand and guided her to his car. She was silent during the drive, unsure what to say that wouldn’t somehow piss him off.

  What the fuck are you doing, Vivian? It’s one thing at Dome, but going to his house? This guy is clearly short on sanity. Getting into a car with him? Have you lost your mind?

  No, she’d lost her impulse control right about the time her libido had spun out of its natural orbit. Her panties were soaked again. She wasn’t in the best position to make a rational decision. Most people weren’t when they were that horny, or they wouldn’t make half the stupid sexual choices they made.

  He must have seen fear on her face because he let one hand leave the steering wheel to stroke her thigh. “Everything will be okay, flower. You’ll see.”

  She smiled weakly, irrationally comforted by his touch.

  The drive was long, and the lights of the city soon faded to reveal countryside. As the minutes marched on, fewer cars passed. It started to feel as if only she and Anton existed.

  He took her hand from where she’d been clenching it in her lap and squeezed it. “Someday you’ll be glad we met and that I made you face yourself.”

  She looked out the window at passing pastures and cows sleeping under the moonlight. Her cell phone rang, jolting her out of the surreal head space she was in. She looked at Anton, questioning.

  He released her hand. “Answer your phone.”

  She sucked in a breath. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Baby.”

  “Michael!” They hadn’t spoken since the night in the hallway when she’d been pressed against the basement door, hoping he would just throw her down on the ground and take her. Suddenly his voice was the best sound in the world.

  “I was just calling to check in. Someone’s going to come by and bring groceries tomorrow. He’ll leave you about a hundred dollars in case you need anything before I get back.”

  She couldn’t stop the tears that had started to stream down her face. Guilt for cheating? Guilt for leaving? Shame over not trusting him to believe her if she’d gone to him from the start? She didn’t know.

  “What’s wrong, Vivi?”

  “Nothing. I’m fine. I just miss you.”

  “I miss you, too. I’ll be home soon. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  After she disconnected the call, she slid the phone back into her purse and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

  “Are you all right?”

  She sniffled a little. “What do you care?” She caught herself only after the words had left her mouth and looked over, afraid that might have earned her a punishment. But he didn’t seem to care about her outburst.

  Anton lifted one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “Just making conversation. I thought you said you were leaving him.”

  “I am.”

  “Why? You just told him you loved him. Were you lying?”

  “Why do you care about my personal life all of a sudden?”

  “Just answer the question.”

  “We don’t make each other happy. I’m an obligation to him, and he’s not what I need.”

  “I don’t believe you have the slightest notion what you need.”

  A few minutes later the car rolled up to a house big enough to qualify as a mansion. Could Dome earn him that much money?

  Anton must have read something off her expression because he said, “The spa is only a small portion of my income. My real money is in something else.”

  Before she had time to process his response, an iron gate opened to let them in.

  She and Michael lived in a very large house, but this was . . . well, it
was ridiculous. No one needed this level of luxury, especially if they lived alone. Which Anton must, if he was inviting her over to have kinky sex.

  Vivian imagined he must have a fully-equipped dungeon in a house that big. Maybe more than one. She shivered at the possibilities.

  He helped her out of the car and led her up the front steps while her anxiety mounted higher. She didn’t expect the door to open from the inside, or for a large, tall man who looked like a cross between a butler and a bouncer to be standing on the other side.

  A mop of blond hair fell over the man’s eyes. He looked surprised. “Isn’t it a little early?”

  Anton pushed Vivian inside before she had the chance to catalog her situation, before she had the chance to scream. Not that anyone could have heard her on such a large, rolling estate.

  She looked back to Anton, needing reassurance that the warning bells going off in her head loudly enough to give her a headache, were just anxiety over her decision to come back when she could have been free.

  His eyes held annoyance, but it wasn’t directed at her. He was focused instead on the butler/bouncer. “I had to move the timetable up on this one. She’s too unpredictable to control from a distance. It’s not worth the risk to play the game out as usual. My instincts keep us out of prison and my instincts say, now.”

  “Shall I show her to her suite, then?”

  Anton nodded.

  NINE

  The stranger gripped Vivian’s arm and led her through the mansion. She looked behind her to Anton, as if the pleading in her eyes would move a man who had obviously done this before. But he was the devil she knew.

  Her heart pounded so hard she could feel it against her temples. The man led her through the entryway in front of a massive staircase, then down a long, ornately-decorated hallway and unlocked a door near the end.

  The room was sparsely decorated, much like the hideaway at Dome had been. There was a full-sized bed with a black duvet. Chains hung behind it. A flat screen television was attached to the opposite wall. There was a large, black trunk at the foot of the bed. A small bathroom stood off to the side.