The Rebel

by Jennifer Bernard

He ran a hand up the smooth skin of her arm and slid the thin strap off her shoulder. “I’m not complaining, but next time you’re in a wilderness rescue situation, you might consider proper gear.” He slid his thumb along the curve of her collarbone and watched her shiver.

  “You’re supposed to be in that bed,” she said weakly. “Is it always this hard to get you into bed?”

  “That sounds like a dangerous question to answer.”

  She took him by the shoulders and turned him around, pushing him toward the bed.

  “I’m a terrible patient. Might as well know that going in, Nurse Nicole.”

  “I’ve been warned. Now go. I’ll be right behind you.”

  That bed did look tempting, and the heat from the wood stove was warming his skin, relaxing him. As much as he wanted to keep bantering with Nicole, the need for rest won out. He stripped off the rest of his clothes, peeling off the clammy layer closest to his skin. As soon as he stretched out on the bed, his eyes began to close.

  “This is embarrassing. First time I have a chance to see you naked and I crash,” he mumbled as sleep dragged him under. “Not fair.”

  The last thing he saw was her teasing smile as she slid the other strap of the camisole off her shoulder. “To be continued…”

  17

  Awake or asleep, Kai was the most compelling man Nicole had ever known. Even his snore was kind of fascinating, a soft wheeze, like the wind whistling through cracks in the siding. But mostly it was the magnificence of his body at rest, how he still radiated vitality even when he was unconscious. The firelight flickered across his chiseled muscles, turning his skin a warm gold.

  He’d pulled the blanket over most of his body, but his chest and shoulders were uncovered. She noticed a raised scar on his chest, and a small tattoo of a jagged mountain on his upper arm. Rocky Peak?

  That thought made her heart twist. Kai loved this place, even though he’d left and stayed away so long. It was clear to her how much Rocky Peak was a part of him.

  And the Summit Group was trying to take it away, and she was assisting them.

  But the lodge was a financial disaster in the making. Was it so bad, helping someone else take over the place? Kai didn’t want it. None of the kids did, not even Gracie. In Nicole’s opinion, Gracie needed a kick in the pants to go explore the world.

  Anyway, she was just a small piece of the puzzle. Max wouldn’t sell unless he wanted to. She was just…offering a vision.

  She took a moment to dry her panties by the fire, then slipped them back on and climbed into bed with Kai. She settled against his side as if she belonged there. Without waking, he adjusted his position to tug her closer.

  Well, that was her purpose here, after all—she was supposed to be warming him up. She flung one leg across his, feeling the iron bulge of his thighs and the soft prickle of his body hair. Everything about Kai was so … manly. Except that there was another side to him, too. A sensitive, surprisingly thoughtful side.

  Not to mention an irritating side. She couldn’t let herself forget that part. Just because he was unbelievably sexy and attractive to her didn’t mean she should get involved with him.

  Just because she was snuggling naked with him didn’t mean that either. This was just a one-time snuggle for medical purposes. He was still “the enemy,” someone standing in the way of her “bonus for Birdie.” So technically, she was sleeping with the enemy.

  And wow, did it feel good.

  She drifted off, dreaming of running through the halls of Rocky Peak Lodge, the way the Rockwell kids must have grown up, except she was chasing Birdie. Birdie was laughing and running on her own two legs, as if she’d never needed a wheelchair. As if she’d never lost oxygen to her brain.

  When she woke up with a start, Kai was watching her, his head propped on one hand. The firelight gave his eyes a deep tender glow. “What were you dreaming about?” he asked her softly. “You have the happiest smile I’ve ever seen.”

  “I dreamt that—” She stopped abruptly. She still hadn’t told Kai anything much about Birdie. But why did she have to be a secret? The thought of her sister swelled in her heart—almost like a bird trying to break free.

  “I was dreaming about my sister.”

  “The sister you mentioned before?” Kai cocked his head, waiting for more. As if he really wanted to hear, as if he’d stay right there, patiently listening, until she said whatever she needed to.

  “Yes. Her name is Birdie and she’s disabled, she uses a wheelchair. But in my dream she was running and laughing. Like she used to before—” To her utter surprise, her eyes filled with tears. Maybe it was thanks to Kai and his empathetic presence. “She has brain damage.”

  “What happened?” Kai asked the question like someone experienced in disasters, someone who knew what a traumatic event felt like.

  For some reason that freed her to spill it all out. “She nearly drowned. She was only eight. Mom was at work, I was at school. She always went to her best friend’s house after school, and they had a pool. She was practicing holding her breath with a friend and she saw a necklace on the bottom. She went after it and got her foot stuck.”

  Nicole had pictured it so many times in her mind. Birdie spotting something sparkly, her deep inhale, her push to the bottom, grabbing the necklace, then her big toe snagging the grate over the filter. Her confusion, her panic, the necklace drifting back to the bottom. Five minutes and fifteen seconds before her friend called out for help.

  “But that was many years ago. I don’t know why I would have a dream like that now.”

  “Where does Birdie live?”

  “She lives at an assisted-living home in Seattle. I miss her a lot,” she admitted. “I’m used to seeing her several times a week. Talking on the phone just isn’t the same. She has a very short attention span. It’s much easier if I’m right in front of her.”

  Kai caught one of her tears on his thumb and lifted it away before it spilled down her cheek. “Are you her guardian?”

  “Yes, ever since Mom passed away. But even before, I was very close to her. Mom worked a lot, so I was the Birdie-sitter.” She smiled at that old nickname, which was similar to Max-Whisperer, now that she thought of it. “I can’t tell if she misses me or not, if I should call her more, or if she’s just fine.”

  “It sounds like you beat yourself up about her.”

  She cast him a surprised look. “Yes, I really do. How did you know that?”

  “I can tell. I did the same thing after I left home. I worried about my brothers and sisters. I second-guessed myself. Maybe it’s an oldest-child thing.”

  She became aware of Kai’s big body, so close to hers, their legs touching, their shared body heat radiating between them like the sweetest fire imaginable. “Finally we have something in common.”

  “Except that you miss the Birdie who is and the Birdie who was. That’s twice the missing.”

  Her mouth fell open. Where had that insight come from?

  “Just doing a little dream interpretation.” He smiled at her, looking so handsome her heart nearly stopped.

  “Well, that’s pretty dead-on. Except that I don’t normally miss the old Birdie. I love her how she is. She’s still my rascally little sister who I will love forever. She gets into just as much trouble with that wheelchair as she did without.”

  His eyes darkened as he studied her. A long moment passed while she held her breath, wondering what was going through his mind. What judgments was he forming, what conclusions was he making? “Thank you for telling me,” he finally murmured. “I appreciate that.” And then, “Damnit. This was easier before.”

  She didn’t really know what that meant, and the intensity of his scrutiny made her want to squirm. He was supposed to be the patient, not her. Her first duty was to his health.

  She forced herself into medical assessment mode. His color was better, the shadows under his eyes were gone. Her job in his bed was done.

  And yet she had no desire to leave.
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br />   Outside, the wind was still keening through the treetops, but the lash of rain had slowed to a patter. The fire was still merrily heating up the tiny cabin. All the sounds and sensations wove together into a kind of spell. A soothing, tempting, seductive spell that made her muscles refuse to even contemplate getting out of bed.

  She cleared her throat. “Are you feeling better?”

  “Fantastic.” His gaze heated, making her shiver. “There’s this incredibly beautiful woman in my bed and she’s wearing hardly anything.” He spread his hand across her lower belly, his little finger tangling in her panties. “I want to touch her. Lick her all over.” His voice lowered to a growl. “Make her moan.”

  Her heart raced to triple its normal speed. The heavy warmth of his hand sent a wave of desire through her, so strong it snatched all her words. “Mmm, hmmm?” she managed.

  “So if she doesn’t want that, she should let me know.” He widened the spread of his hand, slid it up her rib cage. Her nipples, anticipating his touch, pebbled hard against the blanket covering her and Kai.

  “She’s not crazy,” Nicole murmured, arching her back under his slow caress. “Trust me, she’s fine with that.”

  “Fine with it, huh?” He tugged the blanket down to expose her breasts. Under his heated gaze, her nipples hardened even more. He let out a sigh and lowered his head to touch his tongue to the left one, closest to him. She felt the electric sensation all the way from her nipple to her sex, as if an invisible cord connected them.

  “I’m hoping for more than just ‘fine with it.’ I’m aiming for something more like, ‘Yes, by all that’s holy, let’s do this thing.’”

  His warm breath on her nipple made her crazy, especially when he licked it again afterwards, swirling his tongue around and around, teasing and taunting.

  “Yes,” she moaned. “What you just said. But Kai—”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled, his mouth full of her right breast, which felt so good she wanted to open her mouth and sing.

  But she had to establish some rules first. “This can’t be a real thing.”

  His warm mouth left her nipple, and of course she craved it again, right away. “What are you talking about?”

  “We have to agree about what this is, before we do anything. It can’t be an actual relationship. I just want to make sure we’re completely clear about that.”

  He studied her closely, one hand still splayed across her stomach. Her body ached for him, her sex throbbed with need. She wanted him, she wanted this. But she couldn’t add one more deception to her list. Especially not this one. She couldn’t permit a real relationship. She couldn’t take the risk of hurting him.

  “What’s the big deal?” she said lightly. “You’re Mr. Don’t Tie Me Down. Mr. Wanderlust. Mr. Travel Bug. Mr. Show Me a Mountain and I’ll Climb It, or Rescue Some Dumbass Who Tried to Climb It.”

  He didn’t fall for her jokes. “Don’t put this on me. I’m not the one laying down rules.”

  Ugh—why did Kai have to be the only man who would resist an agreement to not get involved?

  “We’re both going behind enemy lines,” she pointed out. “This cabin is like a safe zone, but when we get back to the lodge, we’ll be right back where we were. I’ll be pushing crystals and you’ll be googling my third grade boyfriend.”

  He caressed the curve of her waist, making her skin shiver. “Have to admit, it’s hard to see you as the enemy right now.”

  But she was. And he didn’t know the full extent of her enemy-ness. That was why she couldn’t allow this to mean anything.

  She stared at him helplessly, torn between giving in to the sensations coursing through her body, and wanting to be real with him.

  “Ah, fuck it,” he finally said with a grin. “I don’t know what’s on your mind, but have it your way. I’m a guy, not a monk.” He rolled on top of her, stretching her beneath him, pinning her arms to the bed. “But I get to call the shots on everything else.”

  “Like what?” she asked breathlessly as a rush of heat shot through her body.

  “Like what I’m going to do to you.” His voice deepened to a lust-struck growl. “Like how many times I’m going to make you come. Like how many ways I’m going to make you come.”

  He nudged his knee between her legs, spreading them apart. He dragged his thigh against her mound, which made the silk of her panties rub against her clit. Her body arched and she pressed up against him. His grip tightened on her arms, holding them locked in place. But instead of making her feel restrained, it made her feel free. Free to let her mind take a back seat, and her body revel in the moment.

  “Let me do the work,” he murmured. “You stay just like that, you gorgeous woman.”

  He lowered his head so he could kiss her. This wasn’t just any kiss. It was a ravaging, claiming, soul-rocking kiss. It left her trembling, completely at his mercy. Every sweep of his tongue sent fire streaming through her body. This man knew how to kiss, knew how to take command, how to adapt to her responses, how to stoke the flames higher and higher.

  When she was gasping and breathless, he moved farther down her body. Still holding her arms pinned to the bed, he nuzzled her neck, the point of her jaw, the sensitive skin below her ear. He pressed kisses into her neck, nibbled his way down the tendon to her collarbone. His hair brushed against her chin as he delicately licked the base of her throat, where her pulse must be going absolutely mad.

  She inhaled the smoky scent of his hair, which held the memory of rainstorms and forests and wild journeys into the unknown. This was another journey like that, except they were going there together and it felt so good she wanted to cry.

  Now his mouth was on her nipple again. Already sensitized, it practically sizzled under his deep suckling. He switched from one nipple to the other, gathering each breast into his mouth with ferocious appreciation. He swirled his tongue around the delicate skin of her areola, sucked until she felt it deep inside her sex.

  “Kai,” she pleaded. “Touch me. I’m dying.”

  “I’ll get there. I got you, sweet thing. Don’t you worry.” The lust in his voice mingled with laughter. He released her arms so he could make his way lower, licking his way down her abdomen. Her skin jumped everywhere he touched, as if he’d turned her into one big nerve ending.

  His big hands wrapped around her hips. She still wore her panties, though she wished she could magically remove them from her body. Make them vanish in a wisp of smoke.

  On the other hand, if she did that, Kai wouldn’t be able to play with them the way he was now doing. Tugging them with his teeth this way and that, dragging them against her clit. Using them to create the most sweet and maddening friction.

  “Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” she sighed as she opened her legs for him. Take me, that gesture meant. Take me and never let me go.

  “There’s one detail we forgot.” His words sent warm air through the fabric, onto her swollen, aching mound. “No condom.”

  “Oh!” She’d forgotten about that part of the equation. Need pulsed between her legs. It felt as if the entire world was centered right there. Nothing else mattered. “Oh no.”

  “Oh yes. Luckily, there are two million ways to make you come that don’t require a condom.” He slid both his hands under her panties, his thumbs landing on the plump folds that shielded her clit. Again with his teeth, he drew down the upper edge of her undies, exposing her to his hot gaze.

  She nearly came just from that, from the nearly physical sensation of his eyes on her, and the actual physical sensation of his thumbs pressing into her sex. But that was nothing compared to the electric effect of his mouth claiming her clit.

  A blinding bolt of pleasure streaked through her. She nearly came off the bed as her body arched under the rough strokes of his tongue. Or maybe it was more than his tongue. She hardly knew what he was doing, just that it felt unbelievable. His firm lips took total, absolute command of her body. His iron-strong hands pinned her hips to the bed, while he worked magic wi
th his mouth.

  His dark hair felt like sable between her legs. She peeked down at him, and went dizzy at the sexy sight of his powerful body crouched down there. Big hands holding her legs apart, wide shoulders hunched, muscles bunching

  Good God.

  She lay back and surrendered everything to him, all control, all restraint.

  The wild pleasure unleashed a part of her she’d nearly forgotten. A greedy side, a selfish side, the part of Nicole that wanted something for herself. That wanted to feel good, no matter the cost to anyone else. Because there was no cost. Kai was here for her, like a rock in a storm, or maybe more like the wind in her sails. He was urging her on with every tool he had—hands, mouth, words.

  “Go after it, babe, get it, get what you want, you’re so fucking sexy, I want to hear you scream. I want to watch you come apart on my tongue. I want you to explode, baby. Fucking explode. You got me so hard my cock’s like a fucking pile-driver.”

  The words he muttered in between tongue-fucking drove her even crazier. He was so shameless. So open. So demanding. And yet so generous.

  Her pleasure was his—there was no separation. And that was what sent her right over the edge. She rocketed into a screaming orgasm that wiped her mind clean. She clutched at the sheets, digging her fingers into the mattress as if she might spiral off the edge of the earth. Wave after wave of ecstasy swept through her. Kai was relentless, pushing her into new spasms, another, then another.

  With each one, she screamed again, sometimes his name, sometimes a random curse word, sometimes something incoherent like, “So good, oh my God, please don’t stop.”

  At least that was how it sounded in her head, but it came out more as incomprehensible mumbling.

  Finally the waves of pleasure slowed and she flopped back on the bed, covered in sweat, completely wrung out. So satisfied and happy that she could leap tall buildings. Maybe run down cliffs and carry lost hikers on her back.

  “Jesus, Kai, maybe you should have warned me,” she said, half-laughing as he lifted his head away from her sex.