The Rebel

by Jennifer Bernard

  She really was taking her time drying her hair.

  “Your ideas, my history with the lodge, what could be better? I’ve seen you talking to guests, dealing with the staff. We’d pay you more, obviously. Probably not a lot more, at first. But it will build. I know we can make this a success.”

  “What about Max?” Finally she took the towel away from her face. Her damp hair curled in wild tendrils around her pink face. Her wary, not-excited face.

  “Max can find another nurse. Or you could divide your time, the way you already are.”

  “And us?” She waved her hand at her bed with its nest of tangled sheets, half on, half off the bed. “You’re talking about working pretty closely together. We’d have to stop this…affair, or whatever it is.”

  He was silent for a moment. Affair or whatever it is. What was it? They’d never defined it, other than as her crazy “box.” He got to his feet, needing to put a little distance between them. “I don’t know about that part. We can work it out. We’re mature adults, why not?”

  She tucked her toes under her. He loved her toes, so ticklish that she shrieked whenever he touched them. He was tempted to tickle them now to chase away her serious expression. “No, it would never work,” she said. “I appreciate the thought, but I’m sorry, Kai. The answer is no.”

  He stared at her, sure he must be missing something. “You’re saying you don’t want to partner together to manage the lodge because you don’t want to stop sleeping together. But you also don’t want to be in an actual relationship. So you’re willing to sacrifice a real role at the lodge for a non-real relationship?”

  She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, but said nothing.

  “This isn’t making any sense, Nicole. What am I missing?”

  “I just don’t want—it’s just ‘no,’ Kai. No, I can’t run the lodge with you. It won’t work,” she cried. “Can’t you just believe me and let it go?”

  He scrubbed a hand across the back of his neck, still damp from their steamy shower. He remembered the look on her face as he made her come under the warm water streaming from the showerhead. That look wasn’t just about sex. There was so much more there, but for some reason she didn’t want to acknowledge it.

  “Is it Birdie? You don’t want to be so far away from her? I’ve been thinking about that too. She can live here, with us.”

  “Stop!” She jumped to her feet, looking so shaken he wondered if they were speaking the same language. “The problem isn’t Birdie, it’s you!”

  “Me?”

  “How long until you leave again?” She threw those words at him like rocks at a stray dog.

  “Excuse me? I’m not seventeen anymore,” he said evenly, holding back his anger.

  “No, but you have other things in your life besides this place. You’ll start missing all those ski bunnies. You’ll want to get back out there on a rescue squad or a ski patrol. Or Max will tighten the leash, he won’t let you do what you want, and you’ll take off again.”

  In nothing but drawstring pants and bare chest, he stood frozen to the floor for what seemed like an eternity. Was that really what she thought of him? Despite the time they’d spent together, despite everything she knew about why he’d left…did she still see him as untrustworthy? As someone who wouldn’t stick around?

  “I guess there’s nothing else to say, then.” Stiffly, he reached for his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. “I withdraw the offer. It was a crazy idea anyway. What made me think we could work together? We’d be like cats and dogs, right?” He pulled on his sweater and pulled his phone from his pocket, making a show of checking the time. “I, uh, have some emails I need to return. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Kai—”

  He waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. You’re being honest, and that’s all I ask.”

  Her stricken look stayed with him for a long time.

  Nicole spent that night crying herself to sleep, which was such a babyish thing to do, but something that always made her feel better in the end. Not this time. If only she could actually be honest and tell Kai the truth. If only she could explain that nothing in the world would make her happier than to stay at the lodge as the manager.

  Especially if Birdie could come too.

  It was like every fantasy she’d ever had rolled into one.

  But none of that was possible. The Summit Group wanted this lodge and they were going to get it. She’d seen them in action. She knew how relentless they were.

  Ruthless, too. If Max refused their offer, they’d expose Nicole in a flash. No one would want her around after that.

  So the dreamy scenario of her and Kai living and working at the lodge could never happen. She needed money, more money than the Rockwells could pay her. The lodge needed money too. Selling it was the only logical solution. She simply didn’t see another way.

  But if she told Kai the full story, he’d hate her for deceiving him. He’d kick her out and she’d get no bonus from the Summit Group. No help for Birdie. And—she’d never see Kai or the lodge again. Lose-lose-lose-lose.

  What a mess.

  By the time she came down to breakfast the next day, she’d cried all the tears she could manage. All the guests had eaten and left already, judging by the plates of half-eaten pancakes littering the tables. Only Max was left. He stood at the big picture window, leaning on his cane and gazing out at Amanda’s berry garden.

  “Morning,” he grunted, in his usual brusque way. “Sleeping on the job, are you?”

  “Sorry, I had trouble slee—”

  But then he surprised her by interrupting. “Dreamed about Amanda last night.”

  “Oh?” She paused in the midst of loading her plate with pancakes.

  “Happens now and then. I think she gets a kick out of haunting me.” His laugh made his bushy beard dance on his chest.

  “What happened in the dream?”

  “She was playing cards. She loved cards. Played solitaire when she couldn’t sleep. Anyway, she was playing cards with you, up on the roof. I was on the ground yelling like a banshee, telling you gals to climb on down before you fell. But she just laughed and opened an umbrella like Mary Poppins. And off she went. Floating away.”

  “And me? Did I fall off the roof?”

  “You turned into a…cat, I think. That part’s fuzzy. I think it was a cat. Might have been a rat.”

  She flinched, but he didn’t notice.

  “Amanda loved cats. She fed all the strays that wandered around here. Never understood how stray cats found their way all the way up here.”

  He grew quiet, gazing off at the berry bushes. He was having one of his more disoriented days. Nicole’s heart ached for him.

  As grouchy as he was, she’d come to care deeply for Mad Max Rockwell. How could she contribute to this old man losing the only home he knew—losing the legacy that he’d inherited, that he’d built into something so wonderful?

  She couldn’t. That was the decision she’d come to during her sleepless night. Time to tell the truth, no matter what it cost her.

  She opened her mouth, ready to spill everything, to throw herself on his mercy. To beg him to forgive her, and to never, ever sell the lodge unless he really wanted to. No matter how many tens of millions were in the offer from the Summit Group.

  But just then, Kai walked in. She snapped her mouth shut. Telling Max was one thing, but she wasn’t quite ready to face Kai’s scorn yet.

  “Son,” said Max, lighting up with delight. “Remember how Amanda used to play solitaire? She had those worn-out cards she’d gotten at a casino.”

  “Wagon Wheel Casino, Reno Nevada. I could never forget those.” Kai nodded to Nicole casually, as if they hadn’t made love in the shower last night. As if they hadn’t…fought. Or broken up? How did you break up something that wasn’t real to begin with?

  Her heart ached again. If only she could have said yes to his offer. Or if only she could have said ‘no’ in a way that didn’t hurt his feelin
gs or make him suspicious.

  Ugh, this situation was impossible. Kai filled his plate with an overflowing stack of six pancakes, then poured a river of syrup over it. He went to stand next to Max, and the two of them looked out the picture window at the deep forests beyond.

  “Looks like another storm coming,” Kai said as he stabbed a fork into his pancake.

  “Looks like,” Max agreed.

  “Oooh, a storm!” Gracie skipped into the room, wearing rubber boots and a flirty short skirt. “Any chance of snow? Twenty bucks says the first snow flies before October.”

  “Done.” Kai held out his hand for a smooth low-five, after which she bent down to kiss Max on the cheek. The three of them stood watching the first dark clouds skimming into view.

  Nicole shoved aside her plate, unable to eat another mouthful.

  She loved this family, and she couldn’t deceive them for another minute. She’d figure out another way to take care of Birdie. Time to come clean.

  She opened her mouth again, but once again Kai forestalled her. “It’s race day for Griff. Everyone got their lucky underwear on?”

  Kai put an arm around Max and helped him to his chair. Gracie danced alongside them. “I always wear black and white checkers, like the flag.”

  “I wear pink because he dared me to once, and had his best result ever.” Kai laughed. “The things we do for family, right?”

  “I never wear underwear on race days,” Max rumbled. “Works every time.”

  All the Rockwells burst out laughing. Nicole fisted her hands so tightly one of her fingernails bent backwards.

  She couldn’t ruin their joy. She’d tell them after race day.

  25

  Kai slid onto one of the stools at the Last Chance Pub. From the other end of the bar, Jake caught his eye and gave him a grin and a thumbs-up. The viewing party for Griffin’s big race was mobbed. Everyone who lived in Rocky Peak wanted to see one of their local celebrities on national TV. Those who were visiting didn’t want to miss out on the party.

  There were so many people here that the crowd spilled out onto the street. The only reason Kai got a seat was thanks to the reflected glory of being Griffin’s brother. The excited chatter of the horde of customers melded into a deafening din. People were talking about the race, about the amazing fact that a Rocky Peak local was favored in a nationally televised competition, and—of course—when the first snow dump would happen.

  Over in one of the banquettes, Gracie gave him a wave. She was apparently on a date, since her other hand was being held by a good-looking kid across the table. The dude couldn’t stop staring at her, which made Kai’s teeth clench. Of course Gracie looked amazing—she’d woven herself a crown of rose hips, which she wore over the softly flowing waves of her hair. Total hippie-chick vibe, and her date was eating it up.

  Kai eyed him with distrust. He didn’t recognize the guy, but then again there were plenty of people who’d moved here since he’d left. But this guy just didn’t look local; you could always tell. How could a stranger possibly recognize how special Gracie was? She ought to stick to locals, people she knew, people who could be held accountable if they messed up.

  Get over yourself. Kai gave himself a mental slap across the face. Gracie was a grown woman. She could choose her own dates. She’d been handling her own business for a long time and didn’t need Kai barging in and acting all big brother-ish

  And it wasn’t like he had any real wisdom when it came to relationships. Look at him and Nicole. All this time he’d thought they had something pretty phenomenal happening. And then she turned around and threw him a curveball he still hadn’t figured out.

  Jake finally worked his way through the thicket of customers and reached Kai. They gripped hands, and managed a brotherly hug over the bar separating them.

  “Glad you made it down the mountain,” Jake said. “Dad wasn’t up for it?”

  “I think he’s turning into a hermit. Not sure what it would take to get him away from the lodge. I left him holed up in the media room with no-salt peanuts and apple cider.”

  “Apple cider?”

  “That’s as close as Nicole will let him come to an alcoholic drink.”

  “The nurse is holding the line, huh? I thought you would have chased her away by now. You were all growly about her the last time you were in here.”

  “I was doing my due diligence, that’s all.”

  “Yeah? And how’d that go?”

  “I’m nothing if not diligent.” Kai grinned at his own inside joke. But Jake got it right away, and lifted his eyebrows.

  “I see how it is.”

  Responding to an order from the new waitress, who’d just appeared at Kai’s elbow, Jake filled a beveled glass tankard with foaming Guinness and passed it across the bar to her. Someone else called an order to him, which he acknowledged with a nod.

  He seemed to be doing ten different things at once—washing glasses, drawing drafts, filling orders from the waitresses, all with a calm that seemed almost Zen.

  “You really love this gig, don’t you?” Kai asked the next time he had a chance.

  “I really do. It’s the best of both worlds. You get to talk to people and hear the wildest fucking stories, and you can step away whenever you feel like it. Built-in excuse.” A dimple flashed in his cheek, that devastating dimple that had caused girls to fall at his feet from about the age of fifteen. “Take that woman near the TV, for instance. She’s been drinking pretty hard since she got here. She’s been saying some wild shit. I’m trying to keep a little distance here.”

  Kai took a discreet look at the woman in question. Asian, thin as a licorice whip, in a black blazer that belonged at a conference table instead of a pub, she radiated nervous energy. She was drinking a fruity drink through a straw, her gaze fixed on the television. Occasionally she said something out loud to anyone listening.

  “What kind of wild stuff?”

  “Lot of name-dropping. Says she knows the ESPN guy calling the race. Then she said she has a Jaguar F-Type convertible, this year’s model. She’s a little intense.”

  “What’s she doing here?”

  “Don’t know. She acts like it’s a big mysterious secret. Says she can’t talk about it, but it’s basically to check up on a friend.”

  Kai eyed the stranger. “Sounds cryptic.”

  “Yup. Then again, I don’t really care much what she’s doing here as long as her credit card doesn’t get declined.” Jake winked at him. “In which case I can always confiscate her Jag.”

  “I wonder how many drinks it would take for her to spill this big secret?”

  “Well, she’s already had three, and I’ll probably cut her off soon. Also—I can’t have you harassing my customers. Let her be.”

  A shout went up as the scene on the TV switched to the line of helmeted riders waiting at the start of the race.

  Kai felt the familiar grip of excitement and nerves that he experienced whenever he watched Griff race. Motocross was a dangerous sport. Griffin had broken bones, sprained a wrist, gashed his leg once when he’d veered off course. He always shrugged it off and did whatever surgery or rehab needed to be done. But for his siblings, watching him race could be excruciating.

  Kai had a routine he stuck to during Griff’s races. He always made sure to have a drink nearby. He would watch with one hand covering half his face, so if he needed to block his vision for a second, he could. Other than that, he never changed position from the start of the race to the end. He had a strange superstitious belief that something bad might happen if he did.

  The flag dropped, a horn blew, and the racers were off. The jostling between the bikers was unnerving, as if they’d just as soon crash as let someone else take the lead. And then there was the angle of tilt as they rounded curves in the packed-dirt course. The way they put their hands down to keep from crashing out…Kai had to use the fingers-over-his-face trick whenever Griffin did that.

  Even though all the riders wore similar
gear, he recognized Griffin from his jacket, which displayed the logo of his main sponsor in bright red over white. Besides, Griffin had a way of moving that set him apart. He was so fluid, so in tune with his bike and the terrain he was navigating through. He always seemed to find a line of approach that shaved seconds off his time. He saw things his competitors didn’t.

  At the third turn, Griffin nearly wiped out. He overcompensated in the curve, and only his quick reflexes kept him from crashing.

  Everyone in the bar gasped. Kai cringed, barely able to watch.

  “He’s got this,” Jake muttered next to him. “Wait, what’s he doing? He’s slowing down.”

  Slowing down coming out of the curve, which was the opposite of what he should be doing. “Looks distracted,” said Kai. “Shit.”

  “Yeah, something’s up. He doesn’t look like himself,” Jake agreed. “He’s thinking too much.”

  As the race went on, Kai noticed more problems. Griffin wasn’t attacking the way he usually did. He seemed tentative, not his usual fearless self. Where was his confidence?

  Kai dropped his hand. If Griff was struggling he wasn’t going to hide from the sight. He’d be right there with him, rooting him on with every cell of his being.

  The redheaded waitress appeared. “Jake, you should hear this.”

  “Little busy right now, Serena.”

  “I know, but this is important.”

  Kai tuned them out, completely focused on the race. The camera tracked the riders zooming past. The shot switched to another camera, which showed Griffin coming straight toward it. Behind his helmet, his face wasn’t really visible, but Kai saw his intense focus.

  He also noticed the tension in his shoulders. They weren’t loose and easy, like usual. And why did he keep checking over his left shoulder? He’d never seen Griff do that before.

  Jake and Serena were still talking, but it wasn’t until he heard Nicole’s name that Kai switched his attention back to them. “What was that?”

  “Serena says that woman at the bar is here because of Nicole.”

  “Why?”