The Blessing (The Colorado Series Book 1)

by Elizabeth Price

  Evelyn would want to hear all about Dean’s adventures. She’d have him repeat the same stories over and over again. She loved hearing about how popular and successful he was in school. He was the star athlete and an amazing student. I liked hearing his stories, as well, but I always felt embarrassed for him because I knew he hated having to tell them so many times. He would always humor her, though; he loved her a lot. She supported him in everything he did, no matter what it was. Fuck, I miss him so goddamn much. This won’t be my first Thanksgiving without him, but the years I’d been away had been so different. Even though we weren’t celebrating the holiday together, at least he was still alive. Knowing I’ll never see him again makes me fucking wish I could change the last few years I had with him. I wish shit could’ve been different.

  I took so much shit for granted. I should’ve come home for the holidays; I should’ve wanted to be with my family instead of partying and getting doped up at someone’s house. There are so many things I wish I could’ve done differently. I’d give anything to be able to turn back time and change it. I honestly didn’t consider how fucking difficult the holidays would be without him. The littlest things remind me of him and it fucking guts me. This will be my dad’s first Thanksgiving without Dean, too. Jesus Christ, he’s going to be in so much pain.

  Quinton must sense my unease because he puts a hand on my shoulder and asks, “You okay, man? You’ve gotten quiet all of a sudden.”

  I shake my head, unable to speak. I just want my brother here, alive and well. Will this fucking pain ever go away? Just when I think I’ve gotten to a point where I can accept it, something will remind me of him. I fucking regress to my anger and depression. I want to talk to Dr. Russell right now, but I know he’s spending the holiday with his family. I’ll just bottle my feelings up and try to have a good time. Today is an important day for me since it’s the first holiday we’re all spending together as one big family. I hope that’s enough to keep me going.

  “I’m fine,” I finally manage. “I was just thinking about Dean.”

  Quinton frowns and his eyes fill with sympathy. “I’m so sorry, man. I know the holidays can be rough after you lose someone. I’m here for you if you ever feel like talking about it.”

  I smile because his words are more comforting than he probably knows. “Thanks, man. Let’s get this shit inside.”

  I need to distract myself. If I’m in a crowded room maybe I won’t have time to dwell on my brother too much. Yeah fucking right, Trevor. You’ll think about him—you always do. Thankfully, I’m surrounded by people who care about me. I have Ronnie, Grey, my dad, and now, my amazing mom, as well. I’ve lost a lot, but I’ve gained a lot, too.

  It takes us two trips to carry all of the food inside from their car. There’s turkey, ham, and more side dishes than I’ve ever fucking seen. There’s also a few trays of cookies—as if Ronnie’s pies weren’t going to be enough. How the fuck does she expect us to eat all of this? Quinton just laughed when I asked him. He explained that Eden is usually pretty enthusiastic when it comes to the holidays. Although, she’s extremely happy this year to have a few more mouths to feed. By the time we’re finished setting everything up, Ronnie is done with her pie and places it on the cooling rack with the others. Now that my hands are finally free, I go to get Grey. During times like these—when I’m feeling down and out—I can’t stand to be away from the little guy for long. Minutes feel like hours in his absence. When I find him, he’s still happily playing with Harper. She’s showing him all of the toys she brought with her, but he’s too busy gnawing on the ear of one of her bears.

  When she notices what he’s doing her eyes widen in horror. “Ew!” she cries as she watches him slobber all over her stuffed animal. “He get it wet!”

  “Hey, buddy. Let’s not do that. That bear isn’t yours.” I sit beside him and carefully take it away from him, causing Grey to start crying instantaneously.

  “Dada!” he cries as he reaches for the stuffed bear.

  “Here you go, Harper. Grey’s sorry.”

  She frowns at my son before looking back to her toy. “No cry, Grey. He have toy,” she tells me, giving me back the bear for him to keep.

  I’m surprised by this. It’s such a mature thing for the little girl to do. I don’t know much about kids, but I know I sure as hell didn’t do shit like this when I was her age. “Thanks, Harper. That’s so nice of you.” I’m going to have to get her a new toy. What a great little kid.

  “It okay.” She shrugs. “He happy now.”

  “Look, Grey! Harper gave you her toy!” I tell him as I wipe away his tears and hand him back the bear.

  It takes him a second to realize what I’m saying, and he continues to cry as he holds it. Harper frowns again before crawling over to him and placing a small kiss on his forehead.

  “No cry, Grey.”

  His cries slow down before they eventually stop completely. He hiccups, but smiles at her, and then puts the bear’s ear back into his mouth.

  “He loves you a lot, Harper,” I tell her as I pull him onto my lap.

  “I love Grey,” she smiles, returning to her toys.

  My parents arrive punctually at one o’clock. I didn’t get the memo about inviting everyone over crazy early. So, when they knocked on the door, I was fucking relieved. My mom looks ecstatic to be here as she enters Ronnie’s apartment with a glowing smile and a homemade pumpkin pie in hand. My dad, on the other hand, looks absolutely exhausted. Although he’s smiling, his eyes are melancholy. It’s obvious that this day is affecting him just as it is me. Being together on this family holiday is a twisted and cruel reminder of what we’ve lost. At least we’ve got each other and Grey: the only part of Dean and Cat we have left.

  “Thanks for coming, Mom—Dad,” I say as I give them both a hug hello.

  My mom gasped as “mom” left my mouth. Apparently, she’s still not used to hearing it. Tears pool in her eyes and she gives me a heartwarming smile. She looks so fucking happy hearing the simple title. I guess she’s been wanting to hear it for so long, and now she’s finally getting the chance. Every time I say it, she seems to always take a moment to allow the words to sink it.

  “Thanks for inviting us, Trevor,” Mom says with a cheerful smile.

  She turns to give my dad—who’s quieter than I’ve ever seen him—a sad, sympathetic smile before squeezing his hand. I’m glad he’s here; I’m glad he’s strong enough to come and celebrate with us today. This Thanksgiving is such a stark contrast from last year’s for him: his son and daughter-in-law have died, he’s divorced from Evelyn, and I’ve returned home. Nothing about today resembles what his life once was. Change is hard enough—even when it’s a good change. Be that as it may, once you throw everything else into the mix, today would be traumatic and fucking devastating for anyone to face.

  I drape my arm over my dad’s shoulders and usher him further inside the apartment. Everyone’s already seated at the table, ready to eat. There’s two seats left open for my parents to sit next to me. I wanted to make sure I sat close to my mom since it’s my first Thanksgiving with her. I quickly introduce my parents to everyone and they’re more than welcoming in return. Bryant stands up to shake my dad’s hand, conversing briefly with him before sitting back down and waiting to eat. Although the man is quiet—stern in his disposition—I can’t help but fucking love the guy so far.

  Eden insists on saying a quick prayer before we all dig in. Grey’s sitting on my lap, playing with his new toy I couldn’t get him to let go of it. So, throughout dinner, I try my best to feed him whatever food I know he can chew. Everyone aside from Ronnie’s sister is pretty quiet during dinner. They’re too focused on shoveling food into their mouths to really have a conversation. I talk to my mom for a bit—who’s so fucking thrilled to be here. I can barely believe it myself. I try to engage my dad in conversation, as well. He smiles and says what’s appropriate, but I can tell he wants to keep to himself.

  Once dinner’s over, we
get ready for dessert while Eden speaks up, explaining a family tradition. “Every year we like to go around the table and say something we’re thankful for. It’s something we’ve done since we could speak,” she says, giving my girl and her father a wistful smile.

  I reach for Ronnie’s hand and hold it firmly in mine. With her on one side, my parents on the other and my son in my lap, I’ve never felt more surrounded with love. I have so much to be thankful for. Everyone at this table has lost someone incredibly important to them; it’s astounding we can still fight through the heartache and find something positive in all of the darkness. Even with all the shit in the world—we can still find something that’s beautiful.

  “I’ll start,” Eden says with a humble smile. “I have so much in my life to be thankful for. Every day I find something new. However, one thing I’m especially thankful for is the man who has made my sister so happy.” My eyes widen as I absorb her words. I can’t believe what she’s expressing. “My sister has been alone for too long. Thank you, Trevor, for making her so incredibly happy.”

  I nod, too shocked to know what the hell to say. I’m not used to this type of attention. Ronnie knows this, so she squeezes my hand in support. Eden looks to her husband, nodding to indicate that it’s his turn.

  Quinton takes a deep breath, smiles and says, “I’m thankful for a lot of things as well, but today, I want to say that I’m incredibly thankful for my beautiful wife—and the fact that she’s giving me another child.”

  Ronnie gasps and reaches across the table to grab ahold of her sister’s hand. “Eden!? You’re pregnant? Why didn’t you say anything?”

  Eden smiles and wipes away a tear. “We just found out last week. We wanted to wait and tell you all at once.”

  Bryant is fucking speechless. However, he looks incredibly happy, as well. As taciturn as the man is, he’s obviously a big fucking softie for kids. It’s kind of fucking hilarious to see this Burt Reynolds look-alike fawn over a baby.

  “Congrats, Eden—Quinton.” I say with a sincere smile. I’m thrilled Grey will have another little friend to play with.

  “You’re going to have another grandbaby,” Eden tells her dad, who’s still hasn’t uttered a word.

  “I can’t believe it. Congratulations, sweetheart,” he finally says.

  As soon as everyone calms down, the attention shifts to Harper as she tries to think of something she’s thankful for. Finally, she says, “Thank for Grey.”

  “Aw, baby. Grey is a good friend, isn’t he?” Eden asks her daughter.

  “Yeah, Mommy! The best!”

  It’s now Bryant’s turn. He’s quiet at first, but finally says, “I’m thankful my wife gave me two wonderful daughters. I can never thank her for that enough. If she were still alive today, she’d be extremely proud of the women you’ve both grown to be.”

  Ronnie and Eden both reach for their father’s hands. I rub my girl’s back as she comforts her dad. I hate seeing her hurting. I’d carry the burden for her if I could because all I want is for her to be happy. After a few moments of silence, we move on to my father. I cringe at the thought of him having to say anything. I can tell this is so fucking hard for him. I can feel his pain as if it were radiating from his body.

  “You don’t have to say anything, Dad,” I quietly mutter.

  His eyes are pained as he looks at me, but he still gives me a small, wistful smile before saying, “It’s fine, Trevor. I’m thankful for my son. He’s become such a wonderful father and I’m so proud of him.” His voice is raw and sounds so fucking sad. Yet, it’s filled with so much love. Even I can hear that.

  “I love you, Dad.”

  He smiles at me. Even though it seems he can’t find the strength to say it back, I know in my heart he loves me just as much as I do him. The attention turns to my mom, who’s more than happy to share her answer with the table.

  “I’m thankful for my son, as well. We found each other recently and I’m so overwhelmed by him. He’s such an incredible person and he manages to surprise me at every turn.”

  My cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Even though I’m so fucking happy to hear this, I’m not used to hearing people sing my fucking praise. I’ve never experienced it while I was growing up, so, it’s fucking odd to hear it now. Of course, my dad would compliment me every now and then, but the attention was on my brother. I always took the backseat. I was never jealous because I loved Dean and I honestly didn’t envy the attention—but I would’ve liked some recognition every now and then. Having so many people praising me now makes me feel like I’m on an episode of the fucking Twilight Zone.

  Now that it’s my turn, I’m happy to talk about someone else. “I’m thankful for my son and my beautiful fiancée. I never imagined a girl like her could ever love a guy like me, let alone marry me. Somehow, she fell in love me, and wanted to be a mom to Greyson, and I’ll forever be thankful for that.”

  Eden gasps aloud and reaches for her sister’s hand. “How did I not notice that!? I can’t believe I was so distracted today, I didn’t notice your engagement ring! Ronnie! It’s beautiful and so perfect for you!” she gushes excitedly over the humble ring on my girl’s finger.

  Ronnie giggles and replies, “I’m surprised you didn’t notice, as well. Trevor and I wanted to make a formal announcement sometime today, but this works, too.” She smiles and throws me a wink.

  “Congrats, guys!” Quinton exclaims, giving me a thumbs-up from across the table.

  While Ronnie was busy chatting with her sister, Mom turns to me and warmly states, “I just want you to know I’m so happy for you. I know you guys already told us, but I still think it’s incredible, sweetheart.”

  I smile and nod because all of this positive attention is too over-fucking-whelming for me. If I got any attention in the past it was because I fucked something up or got in trouble. As the chatter dies down, it’s finally Ronnie’s turn and I’m more than curious to see what she’ll have to say.

  Before she says anything, she looks down at Grey and reaches to tickle his chubby, little belly. “Do you have anything you want to say, Grey?” She tickles him again and he throws his head back and giggles until tears are running down his little face. “Are you thankful for anything, my sweet little boy?”

  He squeals with laughter before screaming, “Mama!” He laughs some more and lets go of his new toy for a minute to grab ahold of my finger. “Dada!”

  He’s thankful for us. The whole table laughs, “oohing” and “awing” at his response before they quietened down so Ronnie can speak.

  “I’ve got so much to be thankful for. This last year brought so many changes to my life. I thought I was really happy before, but I now I realize that I didn’t quite understand what happiness was until Trevor and Greyson came into my life.” She looks at me, her eyes glistening with tears, then she continues, “I’m so thankful that I have my own family now. I’m so thankful I have a man in my life who loves me more than anything, as well as a son whom I absolutely adore. I’ll never take for granted how lucky I am.”

  Ignoring the room full of people, I turn my head and crash my lips against hers as soon as she’s finished speaking. When she’s around, it’s like the rest of the world fades away. I love her so much—it’s fucking scary at times. I pour all of my love into our kiss and when it comes to an end, I pull back to stare into her eyes, feeling completely captivated by her.

  I have so much to be thankful for, but above all else, I’m thankful I’ve been given a second chance. Ronnie and Grey have been the most incredible fucking blessing. My life has completely transformed. I’m thankful I’ve had the strength to not fall back into any of my bad habits. I’m thankful that before they died, Dean and Catherine believed in me enough to give me their son, therefore, giving me this second chance in life. I have so much to be thankful for, and I’ll do everything in my power to not fuck these blessings up.

  chapter 43

  heaven beside you

  I’m not used to things ru
nning so fucking smoothly. The past month has been strangely perfect. So much so, it makes me fucking paranoid. Whenever something in my life goes right, I just sit around and wait for something else to go exceptionally wrong. Meeting Ronnie’s dad went better than I could’ve hoped. He accepted me right off the bat and explained that he trusted the decisions his daughter made concerning me. I was fucking thrilled. I was so worried he wouldn’t like me. He’s actually a lot cooler than my original impression. I was shocked to see he had a tattoo of his own. It was a beautiful, black and gray tribute to his late wife on his back. It’s smaller than my tribute to my brother, but it’s just as beautiful. It’s a large hyper realistic rose with his wife’s name, Rebecca, in cursive lettering.

  We didn’t become fucking chummy or anything like that, but there’s a mutual respect there—or at least, I hope there is. It turned out, Bryant and I have a good deal of things in common. Not something one would expect between a fire chief and a former druggie, but somehow, we do. Hopefully, one day we’ll be able to become close. I could tell that Ronnie was upset when her dad left to return to his work. I promised her we could fly out to Virginia to visit him, no matter how tough the trip would be with a toddler.

  Grey’s first Christmas was fucking amazing. I’ve never seen my little guy so vibrant and content. I pulled out all of the stops, along with my parent’s help, to give him the best holiday season I possibly could. He deserves it… He deserves everything. We got our little guy’s pictures taken with Santa, went to a Christmas lights festival—where Grey, unfortunately, cried the whole time. Apparently, the bright, glittering lights frightened the hell out of him.

  On Christmas day, under the nicest tree we could find in late December, Grey opened his plethora of gifts. Ronnie couldn’t stop snapping his picture as he opened bag after bag of different stuffed animals and toys. One of my favorite parts of the day was watching my girl open her present. I got her a beautiful, yet simple, locket with Grey’s baby picture. From that day on, she hasn’t taken it off. She got me an X-box, after watching countless hours of me playing Star Wars Battlefront with Quinton. My girl is fucking amazing.