by A. M. Miller
Naxson smiled. “But of course, I am a faithful servant of our goddess. When you walk with all that is righteous you needn’t fear being wrong.”
Lu stared at him, searching for something in his eyes but all she saw was complete conviction. He really believed that.
“Right, of course. Thank you for your service.” Lu turned away from him. She had nothing more to say. In her head, she knew Naxson’s words to be correct but in her heart, she found them disappointingly lacking. He made things sound so frighteningly simple. Was it even possible to be so unafraid and without doubt?
Lu dipped her hands into the cold water. Her hands had been washed of the blood but it would be awhile before she felt clean again. Lu walked back over to the well. Her hands gripped the bricks. I don’t want to be here anymore, Lu thought as she looked down into the murky depths.
Domicin walked up behind her again. “My queen?”
Lu looked back at him. She saw the question in his eyes. Domicin wanted to know how she was really feeling, but Lu didn’t have it in her to answer.
“Has someone sent word to the castle yet? I imagine it will be a long journey,” Lu said.
Marcella walked up to stand beside Domicin. “I ordered it be sent out before we left.”
“How did you know there would be a feast?” Lu asked.
“Feasting with the queen after a mercy has been dealt is somewhat of an unofficial tradition. It allows the queen to give back to those less fortunate while at the same time building better relationships with her people. The south deals with so many different struggles. We try to give back when we can. They will bring food and gray priest to bless the dead.”
Lu had never heard of these unofficial feasts but it made sense. She imagined people were more accepting of the queen’s mercy if it meant their starving villages would be fed. The gratitude Lu received made sense now. The crack in the wall had been a mistake of the crown but people were willing to be more forgiving once their bellies were full.
Lu stopped her thoughts. Since when had she becomes so cynical? People needed time to grieve. No one could be forced to burn the red feather before they were ready. Their cheer may have been a front to hide wounds that cut too deep. When the dust settled and Lu was gone, they would be left alone to deal with their sorrows.
“How much longer do you think it will take for them to get here?” Lu asked.
Marcella looked back in the direction of the castle. “Not long, my queen.”
Lu looked toward the castle but she couldn’t see it. Here they were closer to the darkness. Here every shadow seemed to call her by name. She couldn’t help feeling that the castle was farther from Zendel then it had been when she left.
24
The Heart Queensland
Lu sat at the center of the circle. There wasn’t a hall big enough to hold all of them. Instead, they sat mats out over the dirt ground and arranged them into a circle. The goddess was still glowing in the sky. Lu had to remind herself that she’d never actually stopped glowing. The dark village had all been a figment of the madman’s imagination.
Lu heard someone clear their throat. She looked over and saw Domicin holding out a plate. She took it. Most of the dishes had come from the castle. They passed plates of it around, people taking what they desired. The one Lu held had smoked pangin and salmon. Lu passed it to Priest Markolas, who sat on the other side of her. She watched his bare hands grab hold of the gray scaled pangin before turning away.
The people of the village continued to pass the plates around but none seemed to be eating. Their sunken eyes stared at their plates with desire, some even licking their lips, but still they did not eat. This was probably the most food any of them had seen in awhile. They all waited on Lu to request the blessing.
Lu waited until the last plate made it’s way around before holding up her hands. All eyes turned to her.
“Praise be to her highest. The goddess has brought us here today so that we may join hands and give thanks. Darkness has resided in this village for far too long. We should all be grateful that she has chosen to shine her light on us now. Take solace in knowing that those you lost are now in her warm embrace. Rejoice with the ones who surround you now.” Lu repeated the words exactly as Marcella had instructed her to. She lowered her hands to her sides. Domicin took her right hand and Markolas took her left.
“Let us join hands now and ask that the goddess continue to shine her light down on us all,” Lu said.
Everyone stood. Joining hands, they formed a giant circle. They bowed their heads and raised their hands to the goddess. After a moment Lu raised her head again.
“Now may we eat and celebrate the blessing the goddess has laid before us,” Lu said.
Their hands separated as they began their feast. The starved villagers devoured their meals. During the first meal, most were too busy stuffing their mouths to hold polite conversation. Only after their first meals were taken away, did the light buzz of conversation begin.
Lu studied them. They all seemed rather cheerful despite the recent horrors that had taken place. While they ate, a gray priest circled the ashes of what had once been a home. None of them seemed bothered. Of course, they hadn’t been the ones to deliver the final blow. They waited in their homes, hidden behind locked doors.
They were a village of mostly men, and though their clothes were ragged and skin dirtied, Lu could see the muscles that came from hours of manual labor. Surely one of them could have easily taken down the frail man in the cabin.
It is a good thing they did not, Lu reassured herself.
There were only a few children in the crowd. Lu imagined it would be hard to feed a child when these villagers could barely feed themselves. Lu had heard once or twice of the queensland’s financial problems but she lived most of her life in the inner city. Seeing it in person was different.
Yet another reason to stress the importance of her marriage. Without the support of The Red Queensland, villages like Zendel wouldn’t last long. The closer one got to the wall the poorer the soil became. Without the ability to farm and provide for itself, villages like Zendel depended on what the crown could provide them.
Lu’s list of duties continued to grow. Protect the realm, lead the people, form the bonds, marry the prince, the list seemed never ending. If what Domicin said about the flower being a message was true, then that would mean adding another thing to the list. Prepare for war.
Lu’s stomach twisted at the thought. There were always casualties in wars. With this one, odds were both she and her people would be slaughtered. Villages close to the wall would be the first to fall. Madness and death would walk hand and hand through her lands.
That was why she refused to discuss it with Domicin. She’d been raised on stories about him. There wasn’t a western child who hadn’t. But, he’d gone long ago. To most children her age he was nothing more than a legend, a terrifying horrific legend, but a legend nonetheless.
Now there was the possibility that legend had been brought back to life during a time when the Heart was barely hanging on. The thought made her shiver. If even the thought of his return was enough to frighten her, how could she ever hope to protect them?
“You need to eat, my queen,” Domicin leaned over and whispered.
Lu looked down at the plate in front of her. It was mostly fruits and vegetables but she hadn’t touched anything. She picked up a vegetable that resembled a grape and popped it into her mouth. Biting down she tasted its salty juices. Her stomach revolted but she chewed a few more times before swallowing.
Lu continued to force feed herself. She stopped only once she cleared her plate. The food sat heavy on her stomach. The goddess now sank low into the horizon. Markolas tried to start up a conversation with her. Lu listened as he spoke, nodding her head when appropriate, but adding nothing to the conversation. When Marcella came along to distract him, Lu was more than happy to turn the conversation over.
Lu leaned over to Domicin. “I need a moment alo
ne.”
“My queen, that isn’t safe.”
“I can handle myself.”
“I can’t allow that.”
Lu arched a brow. “Since when does a queen need to be allowed to do anything?”
“Since the cabin.” Domicin leaned over to whisper.
“My legs hurt. I need to stretch them.”
“Then I will walk with you.”
Domicin started to move but Lu reached out a hand to stop him. “That’s not necessary.”
“My quee-”
“Jack, please. I just need a moment. I promise I won’t go far.”
Lu’s hand still rested over Domicin’s arm. Domicin held her gaze for a moment before letting out a sigh. Lu pulled her hand back. When she stood she dusted off her gown. They’d brought it along with the food; Marcella insisted that Lu wear it.
Standing gained Lu the attention of some of the villagers. Their eyes followed her waiting to see what the queen might do next. She gave them a reassuring smile before turning away.
Once outside of view Lu’s body shifted. Her shoulders slumped and walk slowed. No longer was she the regal elegant queen. She sighed.
Is it like this every time? Lu wasn’t sure she’d survive if there was to be a feast after every queen’s mercy. The mood change was far too jarring. No matter how holy the task, she’d just played a hand in someone’s death. A man she knew very little about. From what she’d heard not a single person spoke a word about him or the three girls. More than dead, it was as if they’d vanished from everyone’s thoughts.
Lu walked through the village grateful for the solitude. She headed towards the horses. Their company was often more preferable than other humans. Once around them, maybe it would be easier to breathe.
A rustling sound alerted Lu to movement. It came from behind one of the houses. She turned towards the noise but saw nothing. Lu took a step closer. The noise came again but this time from the opposite direction.
Lu reached behind her back, gripping her staff. She pivoted on the balls of her feet. Her eyes scanned the village but saw nothing.
“I suggest you show yourself now. I do not take kindly to being followed,” Lu called out.
Her grip tightened on the staff. She shifted her body preparing for a fight. The noise came again this time from behind her. She spun around. In one swift move, she pulled out her staff and turned it into a sword. She swung out her arm and stopped.
A woman stood at the tip of her blade. She was pretty, in an unassuming sort of way, but her dress had started to fray near the edges and the colors faded dull. One of the villagers, Lu assumed. Her dark red eyes were fiercely bright as she glowered at Lu.
“What are you doing out here?” Lu asked.
“I come to give my last farewell,” the woman said, turning to look down the dirt road. Lu turned with her.
A few feet away sat a pile of ash that only this morning had been a house of madness. Lu didn’t understand. This hadn’t been the direction she’d been walking in. The cabin shouldn’t have been this close. Even now that it was ash, a dark aura still surrounded the area.
Lu looked back at the woman. She studied the older woman’s profile. In another life, she would have been the type of woman noblemen catered to. Tears trailed down the woman’s cheek. For a moment Lu’s third eye blinked open and she could feel the woman’s bitter sorrow as if it were her own. Lu swallowed hard before quickly closing off that part of her mind.
“He was a good man,” the woman said. She stared at the pile of ash. “Most of them aren’t, but he was. He cared. He never hit me, not once. Said a man should never hit a lady.”
The woman looked at Lu, tears in her eyes. “I ain't no lady, and he knew it but it didn’t matter. Said he loved me. Said I was gone be his wife.”
Lu didn’t say anything. Her mouth had gone dry and she shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. She’d never had to comfort anyone and couldn’t even begin to understand how. This was the type of reaction she’d been expecting but now that it was happening she didn’t know what to do.
The woman looked back at the ash. “We were going to be a family. He loved kids, not the way some men do. Not in the way that hurts. He loved them pure and kind. What happened, he never would have done it. Would have sooner died.”
Lu thought of the little girls who’d died before she’d arrived. Her heart sank. She wanted to take comfort in knowing they were safe with the goddess but couldn’t. All she could think of was what they could have become and knowing that they never would. All their lives had been cut short including the man’s.
The woman grew quiet. Her tears fell silently down her cheeks. The need to say something swelled inside of Lu’s chest. “He is with the goddess now.” It was meant to be a comfort, something people say at funerals. Hearing it now Lu understood how little it did to help. There was no comfort to be found in such loss.
The woman turned back to Lu. Hurt and anger mixed inside her dark red eyes. “He's supposed to be with me,” the woman spat. “He was supposed to be with me but you took him away,” the woman said through gritted teeth.
The sting of her words made Lu take as step back.
“You killed him,” the woman hissed.
“He was sick. If he’d been allowed to live any longer there’s no telling what he would have done. You said so yourself, he rather die. What I did was a mercy,” Lu tried to explain.
“Mercy?” The woman asked. Her voice shook with anger.
Lu knew she had to say something to calm the woman down before the situation got out of hand. “Yes, if he’d had died with an impure soul he wouldn’t be able to walk with the god-“
“Damn the goddess.”
The woman’s words were like a slap to the face. Lu stared at her unable to think. Never before had she heard such blasphemy spoken so blatantly.
“Where was she when he needed her? I know my sins. I know the path I chose and why she ain’t never looked kindly on me, but he was good. He spent his whole life trying to walk in her light. Why would she let this happen to him in the first place? Protector? She ain’t never protected nothing of mine. Instead of helping she sends her executioner with skin so pale it’s as if she’s never seen the light.”
Lu fought not to wince at the woman’s words. Each word cut deeper than the one before. She’d known that some people might think that of her but it was still hard to hear.
“I-“ Lu started to speak what was cut off when the woman swung at her. She stepped back avoiding the hit.
“You’re a liar.” The woman came at her again. “You make us all believe you’re something great but you’re nothing.”
Lu sidestepped, pivoting as the woman tried to grab again. Her body moved on its own, trained in defense even as her mind struggled to comprehend the situation.
“You didn’t save him. You can’t save anyone.” The woman struck out aiming for Lu’s face.
Lu grasped hold of the woman’s wrist. She turned, pushing down the woman’s shoulder and pulling her arm back.
“You need to calm down,” Lu said.
“Curse the goddess and this entire queensland. If the crown had protected us like they promised, he would have never been exposed to the madness.”
“What is going on here?” A voice asked. They both looked up to see Markolas standing with a crowd behind him.
Lu closed her eyes. If it had just been her, the woman might have been spared, but now the entire village would know of her crimes. The woman had sealed her fate.
25
The light of a new day crept into Raven’s shadowed room. She laid on her bed in the fetal position, eyes staring blankly at the wall. Last night she’d cried herself to sleep on the couch, but when she woke, she was tucked inside of her covers. She didn’t remember how she got there.
The alarm on her phone rang for an hour before giving up on her. She made no attempts to silence it.
The girl had visited her dreams again. Raven watched as she hacked her wa
y through the village, her body coated in blood. Screams of the innocent villagers rang inside Raven’s head. Severed heads littered the ground, faces frozen in fear.
The girl had turned around. Her glowing red eyes widened as she called out to Raven. The girl’s voice was muted but Raven could see the fear etched on her face. Raven thought the girl might have been trying to warn her, but she had been jolted from her sleep moments later by a sharp pain in her chest. The warning remained a mystery.
Raven’s phone buzzed, alerting her of a new text message. She made no move to check it. Dion and Tiffany were probably wondering where she was. She didn’t know what to tell them. ‘Sorry guys I’m having a mental brake down’ didn’t seem like the right answer. She didn’t want to admit it to herself.
Raven wasn’t sure what she should do.
Is this how you felt? Raven wondered thinking of her mother. Along with the nightmares, her mother had started to isolate herself from others.
Raven wondered if she should see a doctor. Images of straight jackets and padded rooms popped into Raven’s head, making her sick.
No, that’s not right. Raven reminded herself. They don’t do it like that anymore. Not when drugs are so accessible.
“Raven?”
Raven lifted her head and saw her father leaning against her doorframe. He was dressed in his blue uniform. Did he ever take it off? The dark blue fabric may as well be fused with his flesh. She couldn’t tell the difference either way.
Raven looked away from him.
“How you feeling?” Michael asked.
“Fine.”
Raven didn’t want to discuss it. She waited to hear the door close but instead heard the sounds of approaching footsteps. He sat down next to her, bedsprings creaking under his weight.
“What happened in school yesterday?” Michael asked.
Raven shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. An exam, maybe.”
“Raven, they called me. At work, in the middle of the day. School said they’d been trying the emergency cell number but it wasn’t going through. Turns out the number wasn’t even mine. Any ideal on how that happened?”