Daughters of Delirium (Tainted Queens Book 1)

by A. M. Miller

  Raven felt a wave of guilt and sadness wash over her. Her eyes stung with tears. She didn’t want to keep hurting him.

  Another shadow transformed. This time it turned into Dion. He smiled sweetly at her. “Just do it, Tiffany. If you really care about us you’d end it. Raven and I can’t be together as long as you’re around. She holds back because of you and you know I could never love you like that. You know that no one could ever love you, don’t you? You make them filthy. Every one of them you let inside. They all left their marks.“ Dion’s voice wasn’t harsh. The way he said it, each word filled with pity, only made Raven feel worse.

  One shadow remained. It moved in closer. The shadow transformed into the other Raven. She took a step forward and bent down so that they were at eye level. Her saddened dark brown eyes stared down at Raven. “I won’t leave you, Tiffany. You know that I can’t. I’ll die here with you. Slowly each day, hating you for what you’ve done to me. A real friend wouldn’t want that. Set me free, Tif. Set us both free.”

  Raven knew she would never say that to Tiffany, but the hurt her words had caused, was unlike anything Raven had ever felt before. They ripped her world apart. All that was left was emptiness. She thought of the times they spent together as girls. With their pinkies linked, they’d promised each other forever. These thoughts only brought her more pain.

  Dark Tiffany moved next to the other Raven. She bent down and took Raven’s hand in hers. A cold sharp metal pressed into Raven’s palm. She looked down at the razor.

  “No one want’s you here, Tiffany. Stop fighting it. Stop being a burden on the world. To everyone here, you’re already dead,” Dark Tiffany said.

  “Do it, Tiffany,” Dion said.

  “End this now,” Tiffany’s father agreed.

  Raven turned her head toward her other self. She felt a slight spark of hope as she looked at her. All those years they sent together had to mean something. They needed each other. Life had tried to pull them apart but they found their way back. They always found their way back.

  The other Raven placed a hand on Raven’s shoulder and looked into their eyes. “Save me, Tiffany. Please save me from you. One cut and it’s over. One cut is all it will take.”

  Something inside Raven broke, shattering her into a million pieces. Raven glanced back at Dark Tiffany. She’d been right. Raven was already dead and this was her hell. She could feel the truth of it now. All she wanted was for it to end. Raven held the razor in her trembling hand. She hovered it over her wrist. All she had to do was cut and every bit of pain she felt would flood out of her in waves of crimson. She wanted to be emptied.

  “Raven!”

  Raven mentally jolted from the sound of the voice

  “Remember who you are, Raven,” the voice commanded. Raven recognized it as the girl's voice the second time.

  Tiffany’s emotions began to dull as Raven felt herself being pulled away. She could feel them separating. The pulling continued until she could no longer feel herself inside Tiffany’s body. When Raven opened her eyes again she was standing behind the dark shadows. She could see Tiffany still sitting in the corner with the razor in hand.

  “You have to stop her,” the girl said. She stood next to Raven looking at Tiffany. “You're still too closely connected. If she kills herself now, it’ll completely break her mind and take you with her.”

  “How do I stop it?” Raven asked.

  “This is the darkest part of your friend's mind. Only light can destroy darkness. Reach inside of you and find my light. Use it as your weapon.”

  Raven closed her eyes. She tried to think of anything that represented light. At first, she thought of physical things like a light bulb, a lamp, or a candle. When that didn’t work she began to get more abstract.

  She thought of the hot July sun. It reminded her of summer and fun. She remembered family barbeques from her childhood, back when they had been a whole family. Her mother smiled and laughed as they played together.

  As Raven thought about her mother’s smile she could feel something growing inside her. She opened her eyes. She could still feel it. It was a warm tingling just below the surface of her skin.

  Raven looked back at Tiffany. The razor had already started to cut into Tiffany’s flesh. Blood trailed down Tiffany’s arm. Without thinking, Raven raised her hand. She pushed. Light erupted from her hand and surrounded her. It poured out of her in hot powerful waves. The darkness was replaced with blinding light.

  36

  The Heart Queensland

  Lu sat on her bed. She’d awaken again in the middle of the night. It was becoming a pattern. Once awake, her mind was filled with too many thoughts to go back to sleep. She tried not to think of their faces but it was impossible not to. They haunted her.

  There seemed to be too many unanswered questions. Who killed the previous king and queen? How did the man in the village know who she was? Who painted the roses red? The list of questions went on and on but one kept coming back.

  Has he really returned?

  The four words haunted Lu. She could not save her people from him nor could she save them from the wave of chaos that was sure to follow. The queens before her had tried to fight him and all had failed. What was she suppose to be able to do against something like that?

  “Are you awake yet, your majesty?” Eleaa asked as she walked into the room. She carried bundles of red fabric in her arms.

  “I just woke up not too long ago. What is that in your hands?”

  “The Red Prince offers you a gift,” Eleaa said. She placed the fabric at the end of the bed. She picked one from the bunch and held it up. It was a bright red silk. “It’s the finest fabric in The Red Queensland. You could probably make three dresses for the price of one sheet of this stuff.” Eleaa scrunched up her nose.

  Lu stared at the fabric. It was thinner than most fabrics found in the Heart. The Red Prince must have never seen a Heart’s winter. How would he fare when the first frost hit cold enough to freeze bear’s blood? Would his fine silks keep him warm then?

  “Tell the prince I’m grateful for his gift,” Lu said.

  “He also asked if you would care to join him for a stroll through the castle gardens.”

  “Delightful.” Lu made no attempts to keep the annoyance out of her voice. Lacking in sleep, she was hardly in the mood to be in the company of royals. The only silver lining was that it would give them the chance to discuss the current standing of their queenslands. She needed to know how many of her men would be needed to protect the Red gardens. Now was not the time to be spreading the Heart’s resources thin.

  Information about the Red’s resources would also be important. She needed to know just how much they were willing to offer. She was sure Lecive already had his input on the situation. She needed to know just how far his influence in the Red court went.

  Eleaa helped Lu dress for the day. After she finished Eleaa left to deliver Lu’s message to the prince. Lu followed her out the door. Breakfast was being served in the main dining hall but Lu had other plans. She walked until she reached the golden statue of the goddess. The hallway was less crowded there. She waited until it emptied before pressing her hand against the wall.

  The wall split down the middle, spreading wide enough for one person to fit through. Lu to stepped into the opening. The door closed behind her. The stairway hidden behind the wall was darkly lit. She smelled lime and wet earth. Lu grabbed one of the torches off the wall before beginning her slow descent. She was careful not to slip on the wet steps. Water dripped from the stone ceiling. The stairway grew colder the closer she got toward the bottom.

  A faint glow came from the bottom of the stairs. Lu followed it down the hall. Light peeked through the cracks of the door. Lu pushed it open, flooding the hall with light.

  Lu stepped into the room. Green plants hung everywhere the eye could see. Amongst the foliage, Lu spotted her brother. He was bent over a desk, a familiar position to find him in. This was where he’d spent most
of their childhood. This strange underground room had a hidden light source of its own. A variety of plants thrived inside the hidden oasis. The laboratory fit him perfectly.

  “I thought I might find you here,” Lu said with a smile.

  Leo sat up and turned to face his sister. He smiled at her but Lu could see the exhaustion in his eyes.

  “I figured you come for me eventually,” Leo said. He stood and walked over to Lu. “Would it be too improper to hug you?”

  Lu shook her head. Leo smiled and his arms wrapped around her. Lu hesitated for a moment but then buried her face into his chest. She wrapped her arms around him. Here she didn’t have to pretend.

  Leo’s chin rested on top of her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it back sooner.”

  “I’m just glad you’re here now,” Lu said, squeezing him tighter. She let him go and took a step back. Peering over his shoulder Lu saw his desk. Lu walked over to his desk and saw the white rose he’d been examining. She picked it up and held it in the air.

  “Earlier, I got the feeling there was something you weren’t telling us.” Lu looked back at her brother. “What was it?”

  Leo frowned. Lu held her breath. Usually, when Leo discovered something new she couldn’t get him to stop talking about it. Whatever he’d seen wasn’t good.

  “When I was studying the substance I noticed something,” Leo said.

  “What did you see?”

  “There were a lot of unknowns inside the mixture,” Leo said pacing across the floor. “At least ten unknowns, maybe more. I was, however, able to detect one key element.”

  Lu stomach turned. “Leo, tell me.” Every nerve buzzed inside her as she tried to keep still. This was bad news. She knew it. The only question was how bad.

  Leo stopped his pacing and stared at his sister. “Blood sap.”

  Lu stared at him. Her heart fell to her stomach. Of all the horror she could have imagined this was one of the worst. She was going to be sick. Her hands gripped the wood of the desk as she tried to calm herself.

  “Blood sap is only found in the trees of the orcestral forest. How did it get into the garden?” Lu asked.

  “That’s the problem. The person who tainted the roses would have had to go into the orcestral forest to get it. Perhaps a priest during their holy mission or someone disguised as a priest.”

  “Are you saying you think one of the infected snuck past our defenses?”

  “I’m not sure, but no average person could have created this. The mixture is far more complex than anything I’ve ever seen. It is both magic and science. They designed it specifically to target the white rose.”

  Leo leaned back in his chair. His hand twisted at the golden ring on his finger. “Whoever created this was incredibly intelligent and knew what they were doing. It was no accident. The boy’s dead because of it.”

  “So it is an attack,” Lu said. Her brother looked back up at her. She held his gaze. “They went after the king and queen first. Now they’re attacking the gardens.”

  “There is no way to know that the two events are connected.”

  “The queen and king were murdered and now suddenly someone has created a toxin that poisons the white rose. I’d hardly call that a coincidence.”

  Leo didn’t seem to have a reply. Lu sighed and sat down on his desk. “We are under attack. People are going to die if we don’t do something but I can’t fight back if I don’t even know who I’m fighting.”

  You know who. You just won’t admit it, the voice in the back of her head whispered. Lu ignored the voice. What she needed was evidence, a trail to follow and a killer to trap. A least if it was human they’d have a fighting chance.

  Leo took his sister's hand in his. His hands were rough from time spent training under their father and working in the fields. “I’ll do whatever I can to find out what this substance is made of. Once I do we can begin working on a way to reverse it.”

  She squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Leo.”

  Lu stood up preparing to leave.

  “Be careful, sister. If it’s like you say and we really are under attack, you need to be sure of who’s a friend and who’s not,” Leo said.

  Lu turned back around to look at her brother. She thought back to life before the crown. If she was not training she was out in the gardens with her brother. He would read his book under the shade of the trees and watch her hunt rabbits. When the goddess glow reached the horizon, Leo would give his half sleeping sister piggyback rides back to the castle. Simpler times.

  “All I’m sure of is, that outside of you and Eleaa, I have no friends,” Lu said and then turned to leave. Those times they spent together as children seemed so far away now. There was a physical pain in knowing she would never be like that again.

  37

  The Heart Queensland

  The passage door closed behind Lu, concealing itself again. No one, who wasn’t looking, would be able to find it. She left her brother to his work. Hopefully, the fruits of his labor would be the very thing to save them all from this catastrophe.

  “My queen.”

  Lu turned around to see Domicin walking toward her. She stepped away from the goddess’s statue. “Jack is there something wrong.” It seemed every time she talked to someone they had more bad news to bring her. Lu dreaded to hear what it was this time.

  “No, my queen, nothings wrong. I’ve just been looking for you. You were not in your chamber when I stopped by.” Domicin said.

  Lu folded her hands in front of her. “I was attending to some business.”

  Before she became queen, Lu could disappear for an entire day and no one would notice. Eleaa was the only one who ever really kept track of Lu’s whereabouts. She should have known her absence would have been recognized now.

  Domicin looked at the statue and then back at her. “Are you heading to the dining hall?”

  “Yes, I’ve missed breakfast, best not to skip lunch as well?”

  “Then may I accompany you there.”

  Lu nodded. Domicin walked beside her but did not offer his arm. She found she preferred it that way, though she could feel his eyes on her. He studied her face as they walked. Lu did her best to keep her attention forward but after awhile it became annoying.

  “Jack if you have something to say, say it already,” Lu said.

  “My apologies, my queen.” Domicin bowed his head. “I was just wondering if I’ve done something to offend you.”

  Lu glanced at him and saw that he was looking at her again. “No, you have not. What would make you think that you had?”

  “You’ve been different since we arrived from Zendel. I thought you might be avoiding me.”

  “No, I’ve...“

  Lu tried to think up an excuse but found none. She thought back to what happened in Zendel and the blood that had been spilled there. It was possible that she’d been avoiding Domicin but it had been to no fault of his own. She’d tried to mentally separate herself from that day.

  “It was not my intention to make you feel that way,” Lu said at last.

  Her words seemed to put Domicin at ease. He relaxed as they continued down the hall. As her Jack, it wasn’t right for her to be putting him at a distance, but he still felt like a stranger to her. She would have to make a point of getting to know him more. Friend or foe, ignorance was deadly.

  “Marcella asked after you,” Domicin said.

  “Did she?”

  “Yes, she and the other’s were worried. You left before they could see you off. Usually, they get to see more of the queen after a mission.”

  “I needed time to prepare for the council meeting. As you know The Red Queen’s arrival came as a bit of a surprise for most of us, but I will make time to show my gratitude for their service. It was with their help we were able to protect the people of Zendel after all.”

  Lu tried not to think of Marcella’s sword slicing across the woman's throat or Kovin tossing her body to the ground. They had all done their duties that n
ight. It would be more than hypocritical to blame any of them for what had happened, but Lu didn’t know how to face them. Everything had been so much different when they were all seated around the campfire.

  “It honors them to be able to serve, but it’s hard to predict what will happen out there. No one would be surprised if it troubled-”

  “It did not.” Lu stopped and turned to face Domicin. “I can assure you, Jack, I’m perfectly fine with what happened in Zendel. Right now I have other matters on my mind.”

  “The flower.”

  “No, currently my marriage, but yes also the white roses.”

  “That isn’t the flower I speak of, my queen.”

  “It should be. As of now they are the only flowers of importance.” Lu’s tone was sharp. She knew which flower he spoke of, but she refused to waste time on it. There was no evidence that the bloody Lulana flower painted on the cabin was more than a coincidence. The threat on the white rose, however, was real.

  They reached the dining hall. She stopped in front of the door to listen in. People were already inside. She could hear the muffled sounds of their conversation. Lu opened the door and stepped inside. Her eyes landed on The Red Queen first. She sat at the head of the table. Next to her, sat her son and Prince Lecive. Lecive had been whispering something to The Red Queen but when Lu walked into the room she turned her attention to Lu. They locked eyes.

  “Queen of Heart, so nice of you to join us.” The Red Queen’s thin wrinkled lips pulled back into a smile. “We missed you for breakfast.”

  “There were some important matters I had to attend to,” Lu said before walking over to her seat. Ramor was there as well, though he sat closer to her end of the table.

  “So important you couldn’t make time to eat with your guest,” The Red Queen asked.

  “Such luxuries as sitting to eat every meal are often not afforded to a queen at work, even when the company would be so delightful. I’m sure a queen such as yourself is aware of this.”

  Lu really was trying to be polite but in the grand scheme of things political banter seemed minute. It wasn’t something she trained in. With everything she had to deal with, she didn’t need The Red Queen breathing down her neck. If it were up to her, she'd take her meals in her bedchamber.