Daughters of Delirium (Tainted Queens Book 1)

by A. M. Miller

  Suddenly the straw shattered and Lu felt a release. She could feel a soft innocent glow around her. It cautiously circled her.

  “Hello,” Lu said, her voice echoing in the black.

  The glow paused for a moment before shifting hesitantly closer.

  “Hello,” the baby jabber answered. Its voice was light and sweet with a slight undertone of curiosity. “Who are you? You're not one of my kind. You do not feel the same.”

  “I am…” Lu debated on what she should tell the baby jabber. No one was supposed to know the queen's real name, but the jabber wasn’t human. There was a chance it would work and if it did, the jabber wouldn’t be able to speak the name to anyone else. What could it hurt to share this information?

  Lu cleared her throat and tried again, “I am Lulana. People… the ones who cared for me… they used to call me Lu.”

  Lu hadn’t realized how much she missed the sound of her name until she spoke it to another. It almost sounded strange to her now.

  “I’ve never heard of a Lulana. What are you doing here?” The jabber asked.

  “I’ve come to see if you are ready to hatch from your shell.”

  “Hatch from my shell? Why would I do that? It is very cozy in here.” It wasn’t uncommon for a jabber to grow fond of its shell. If the mother took to long to hatch the egg the baby jabber would become too attached. Many died without ever awakening from their shells.

  “Yes, but do you not tire of being stuck inside here all day?” Lu asked.

  “At least I know what it is like in here. Out there seems so very strange. I don’t think I’ll fit in very well.”

  “Of course you will. Once you are hatched you will be able to help people and they will love you for that.”

  One of the most useful abilities the jabber possessed was its screech. The high-pitched screeched cleared the mind of those who were mildly infected. When it was fully developed the powerful screech had a radius to clear an entire village. Next to the white rose it was one of the most effective ways to cure madness. This was the help Lu had been waiting for.

  The baby jabber paused, thinking about Lu’s words. “I don’t know. It still seems frightening.”

  Lu could feel the baby Jabber beginning to pull away. She knew that if she did not convince it to come out now it would never hatch.

  “I would be there with you,” Lu said, stopping the Jabber from its retreat. “It must have been hard all this time with no one around. I know what it’s like to live your life guarded. You spend most of your time surrounded by life but never really apart of it. I also know that even if you love your shell, part of you hates it too. Because even if it keeps you safe it also leaves you lonely and afraid.”

  Lu waited for the jabber’s response.

  “And how can I trust that you won’t leave me. My mother was supposed to be the one to come for me but she is long gone,” the baby jabber said.

  The glow around Lu seemed to vibrate with its anger. Lu hadn’t thought about how it would feel to be left behind by its mother. From its shell, it could only gather so much information about the outside world. The jabber had been smart enough to understand that its mother had left but it was not able to understand why.

  “I would never abandon you,” Lu said.

  She never had a pet before. They would never allow her anything that might take focus away from training. She had no experience in raising or caring for anything but she knew she’d do everything to provide for the jabber.

  “I’ll be good to you. I swear it.”

  “How can I believe you? Your kind is known for their lies,” the jabber said.

  “You’re right. My world is full of liars but that is why I need you. Your kind is loyal and honest. With you I would never hide who I am. You have already seen more of me than most of the members of my court. Together we could be a team. My brother once told me that everyone needs someone. Will you let me be that someone to you?”

  There was another pause. The jabber appeared to be thinking about what Lu had said. The glow around her came closer but then retreated. Lu’s heart began to sink with the knowledge that she’d failed the jabber. It had been too long since she had to make friends. Perhaps she just wasn’t any good at it.

  “Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll hatch.”

  Lu looked back up at the glowing light. “Really?”

  “I’m interested to see what you Lulana’s are made of.”

  Lu smiled as she began to pull back. She’d done what so few had been able to accomplish. Even her own mother had not been able to secure a jabber’s trust.

  “Do you promise to be there when I come out?” The jabber asked in a small voice.

  “Of course, I will. I’ll be waiting for you when you’re done.”

  Lu blinked, once again aware of her surroundings. She stood up but her legs were weak and her head pounded. Flopping down on the bed she sat next to the jabber egg.

  “Were you able to convince the jabber out of its shell?” Ramor asked.

  Lu turned to him. She’d almost forgotten he was there. “She has started the process.” Lu’s hand affectionately rubbed at the scales. They were warmer now. She hoped it wouldn’t take too long.

  “Then I suppose all that is left to do is wait for it to make its first appearance,” Ramor said leaning against the bedpost with folded arms.

  Lu studied him. “Why give her to me?” Her tone lacked its usual amount of skepticism. She was just curious to know the answer. “I’m sure there are people willing to pay top card for it.”

  “It would have been a waste in anyone else’s hands. Besides, you will need it. Being queen can be a dangerous position. It’s hard to know who you can trust. You have to be skeptical of everyone, even those closest to you. At least now you’ll have something you can trust completely. I wanted to give you that peace of mind.”

  Lu’s eyes rose to meet his. She was beginning to understand why her mother had chosen him to be her Ace. He was growing on her and she wasn’t sure how to feel about that. When he saw her falling apart he’d known what to say to pull her back together. Now he’d given her something that made her feel genuine happiness.

  “Why did she never come to see me?” Lu asked.

  Ramor frowned and looked down at the bed. “May I?”

  Lu nodded.

  He sat and let out a sigh. “You’re mother was a complicated woman. She wanted a lot from the world. Tried to give it her all, but life often takes more than what it gives.”

  “Ramor, please, say it in a way I can understand. Just tell me the truth.”

  “She was afraid.”

  Lu looked at him but his eyes were focused straight ahead.

  “More than most people knew. More than she let on. She was afraid of loving anyone. She never said it out loud, but she didn’t have to. When you looked at her, if you were truly looking, you could see it. You scared her the most.”

  “Why?”

  Ramor shook his head. “I can’t say, not for certain.”

  “Was it because…” A lump formed in Lu’s throat she fought to swallow. “Because of my ailment.” Lu tried not to look at her hands. Tried not to see those pale boney things staring back at her.

  Ramor reached over and took her hand. “No. It was not because of that. Despite what everyone says and believes, your mother never wanted a second daughter. I do know that for certain.”

  Lu looked away from Ramor. She did not want him to see her face or the shine in her eyes. “Thank you, Ramor.”

  Lu still didn’t fully understand, but he’d given her something to think about. The one she really wanted to question was no longer here. She’d give anything to have one honest conversation with her mother.

  “You don’t need to thank me, my queen.”

  “Yes, I do.” Lu looked back at Ramor. His skin was as pale as hers. She knew the rumors about him were as unfair as the rumors about her, but she still judged him.

  “You’ve done nothing but try to help me since
I became queen and all I’ve been is rude to you. I’ve always done things on my own. It’s what I’m use to, but I can’t do this by myself.” Lu hesitated before continuing. She thought of what she’d said to the jabber. Skepticism was a good trait to have but not when it kept you from making useful allies. “I need people on my side I can trust. Are you one of them?”

  Ramor squeezed her hand. “I want nothing more than to help you become the queen the Heart deserves.”

  Lu took a deep breath and stood. She stepped in front of Ramor. “Then allow me to reinstate your position as Ace. Help me protect this queensland from those who would seek our destruction.”

  Ramor looked up at her. “Are you sure, my queen? I failed your mother. I could not bare to fail her heir.”

  “Then don’t. They are dead and you are alive. That means you owe a duty to them. Stand with me now and prove yourself worthy.” Lu held out her hand.

  Ramor’s gloved hand slipped into hers. Lu wrapped her fingers around his, never losing eye contact. ”But let me be clear, if you feel that you are not able to service the queensland to the best of your abilities refuse me and my offer.” Lu wouldn’t blame him if he did. She gave him the one thing she never had. An option.

  Ramor gripped her hand tighter. He kneeled down on one knee. His eyes never leaving hers. “I will give my all to help you and this queensland. My words and mind are yours, use them at your will,” He said, tapping her knuckles to his forehead. Lu felt their bond wrapping around her the same way Domicin’s had. This time instead of bringing strength, a wave of clarity washed over her.

  Ramor rose from the ground never letting go of Lu’s hand. He stepped closer. The sudden intimacy of their position surprised her. His gaze made an unwanted heat rise up into her face. “You will be the most unforgettable queen the Heart has ever known. I will make sure of it.” He was close enough for Lu to smell the spiced tea on his breath.

  Ramor raised his hand to touch Lu’s cheek. It would have been a highly inappropriate gesture even for her newly appointed Ace. Ramor must have realized this because he stopped and took a step back. He smiled and the moment was gone.

  Lu wasn’t quite sure what had just happened. Nothing he’d done had been out of line but it was still unsettling. A number of unwanted emotions rose inside of her. She pushed them away, too flustered to analyze any of them.

  The egg on the bed rocked, catching both of their attentions. Lu walked back over to the egg and sat down in front of it. She watched as it shifted and listened as it cracked. The shell split at the top. From the top four long curled claws stretched out. The claws pushed through the crack until the shell broke from the tension. On top of the broken shell pieces sat the baby jabber.

  The baby jabber raised its black head. Lu stared into its bright yellow eyes. They were oddly human. She looked into them and could feel the presence of the glowing form she’d spoken with inside the shell.

  The baby Jabber blinked three times before unwrapping its wings. They stretched out to reach both sides of Lu’s bed. Opening its mouth, a pink tongue rolled out in what appeared to be a yawn. The scales around her neck rattled with the intake of air. Lu looked at the razor sharp teeth and knew they would grow much larger in time.

  The baby Jabber closed its mouth and shook its head. When it was done it looked back up at Lu.

  “Hello,” Lu said.

  The baby Jabber’s eyes lit up, happy to see her. Lu placed her hand on the bed. The baby Jabber climbed up Lu’s arm and sat on her shoulder. It’s spiked tale gently swept back and forth. A thin lizard tongue flicked out and brushed against Lu’s cheek. She giggled, but then stopped surprised by the sound.

  Lu cleared her throat. “I take that to mean you’re happy to see me.”

  Ramor walked up next to them. He studied the baby jabber. The jabber narrowed her eyes at him, appearing to be doing the same thing. Finally, Ramor smiled and turned to look at Lu.

  “She appears to be healthy. Have you thought of a name?”

  Lu thought for a moment. She’d never given name to anything before. It took her a moment to find one that would fit the baby jabber. A variety of different historical figures popped into her head. Some of them she’d never heard of, but her link with Ramor opened her to a well of new information.

  “How does Illzeta sound?” Lu asked the Jabber perched on her shoulder.

  “Illzeta helped develop-“

  “The second from of white rose tonic. She found that dried petals created a more potent effect when mixed with tumertin. Her tonic was widely adapted after her death during the Loron period.” The information poured from Lu’s lips.

  Ramor smile. “Correct. It is a very fitting name.”

  The jabber’s tongue licked at Lu’s cheek again.

  “Illzeta it is then,” Lu said. Her hand stroked Illzeta. Her scales were warm to the touch.

  “I see the prince has given you his ring,” Ramor said.

  Lu’s hand paused in the middle of Illzeta’s back. She drew it back. The ring stared up at her. She’d hardly thought about it since the prince had put it on her finger. Looking at it now it seemed out of place. The ring was enchantingly beautiful. The stones were finely cut, showing off their expense and prestige. It was everything Lu was not.

  “Is it not to your liking?”

  “No, it is very beautiful. I am grateful to the prince and his generosity.” Lu dropped her hand down to her side.

  Ramor took a step forward. His eyes searching hers. Lu flinched when he took her hand but did not move away.

  “He’s the one who should be grateful, your highness. Everyone should be grateful for what you have done and will do for them, but most will not. They will live out their days never knowing of the sacrifices you’ve made for them. When times are good, they shall embrace you but when they are bad, they will blame you. Such is the way of this world. But know that I will never forget all you have done,” Ramor said.

  Lu felt the urge to move closer to him. Perhaps through him she could become more like the queen her mother had been, but she held back. Ramor would never know how much his words today meant to her.

  Lu looked down at her hands and smiled. “Is that supposed to be the renowned advice of the Ace?”

  Ramor’s hand loosened as a slow smile crept across his face. “Yes, actually it is. I’ve been practicing it since this morning.”

  “It was a bit lacking,” Lu said.

  He laughed.

  Lu smiled back, but despite the joking atmosphere, the weight of his words sunk in. Everyone seemed to glorify what it meant to be queen. They spoke with admiration of what it meant to be the Heart’s savior. Now that the crown sat on her head, what Ramor said seemed closer to the truth.

  Dark times were approaching their queensland. This wedding would not be the last sacrifice she would make on the queenslands behalf.

  Rise or fall they would hold her accountable. She could only pray to the goddess that she was strong enough to see them through, but at least now she felt less alone.

  43

  Raven stared at Lu. Her dress was red, black, and gold, like something out of a storybook. Raven thought the dress looked familiar. She remembered the dream she had in class. The red fabric of her dress had been torn apart and left on the ground beneath her feet. Lu was wearing the same dress Raven had worn during her beheading.

  “They killed you. You’re dead. I saw it,” Raven said.

  “I was betrayed.” Lu’s voice was cold but there was a hint of pain inside her eyes as she spoke. The look reminded Raven of someone else.

  “Betrayal can only come from the people we trust. That is why it hurt so much,” Her mother’s arms tightened around Raven as she spoke. Alarmed, Raven turned towards her mother. She wasn’t looking at her. Her eyes were focused on something in the distance. She blinked and looked down at her daughter. Raven stared up into her mother’s brown eyes. Her mother hid her emotions, but not fast enough to stop Raven from seeing it.

  At
the time she hadn’t realized that her mother had been talking about her father. Things had yet to escalate that far, but it was the first clue. Looking into Lu’s eyes she could see the same pain.

  Dion reached out a hand to touch Lu. His fingers passed right through her. He pulled back his hand, staring at it.

  “How are you here now?” Dion asked, voicing the question all three friends had been wondering.

  “I am but a projection of my previous self. All that is left of me resides inside that ring.” Lu’s eyes fell to the ring on Raven’s finger.

  Raven looked at the ring on her hand. This whole thing started after her birthday. From the moment she put on the ring everything had gone from bad to worse. She reached for it.

  “Don’t bother trying to take it off,” Lu said. Raven looked back at her. “It would be easier to remove your finger from your hand than the ring from your finger.”

  “What is it?” Raven asked.

  “Magic, forgotten and old. The blood of the sisters who once walked between worlds. Ever since you put that ring on my soul has been slowly interlocking with yours. It’s what keeps me connected to your world and allows you to utilize my powers.”

  “That’s not possible. It’s just a little piece of jewelry I picked up from the flea market,” Dion said.

  Lu turned toward him. “I do believe the old lady told you that old jewelry has soul, did she not?”

  “Are you saying that the woman in the flea market is apart of this?”

  “No, the woman knew nothing of the power within the ring. I imagine she would have said something similar to the next paying customer. It just so happens that in this scenario her words rang true. Now that the bond is complete, Raven and I are able to fully communicate.”

  “Earlier you said something about your mind not being intact. Is that because the process was not complete?” Raven asked. She thought of how Lu had originally only been able to appear in dreams. Even then, her messages had been vague and confusing.

  Lu shook her head. “I’m afraid there is worse reasoning for that. I died just as the ring was being sent to your world. My soul had to be pulled back from the shadows and locked into the ring for this to work. The spell itself was experimental. None of us knew if it would work, let alone the outcome. The process left me shattered. Keeping hold of all the pieces is strenuous and after a while I begin to lose them. I become not myself.”