Daughters of Delirium (Tainted Queens Book 1)

by A. M. Miller

  “Make it stop,” Raven cried.

  A woman carrying her crying baby fell to her knees spitting blood as the bullet pierced through both of them.

  Why should I? You don’t care about their pain.

  A man entwining his bloodstained fingers with his lover as they took their final breath together. The smell of gas thick in the air.

  Their suffering means nothing to a selfish girl like you.

  Small bodies floating face down in a river, bobbing with the waves.

  Raven pressed her palms into her eyes. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t want anyone to get hurt I just-“

  You just want to save your mother. You can’t have it both ways, Raven. Sacrifices have to be made.

  “Why? Why can’t I have it both ways? I just want to fix her. I owe it to her. Help me, please. Once she’s back I’ll do anything you say. I’ll fight the devil himself if you ask me.”

  No. You will not survive if you do this. Even I cannot save you if you choose to continue. Make your choice, Raven, but know you will not be the only one forced to live with the consequences.

  Raven opened her eyes. She could no longer feel Lu’s presence. She’d vanished leaving Raven alone to make the final decision. Guilt weighed heavy in her chest. She’d already made her choice before she came here.

  Raven wiped at her tears. Lu had to be wrong. She shouldn’t have to choose between saving her mother and saving others. Once she fixed her mother she’d figure out how to save everyone else.

  The image of the bodies flashed in her mind again. Raven shook her head.

  I have to do this.

  She walked back over to her mother. Denise was still sleeping. In her drug induced state, she probably wouldn’t wake even if the world were ending. Raven leaned over her mother but then hesitated.

  It was impossible. Raven wasn’t anyone important. Her whole life she’d never expected to amount to anything. Just another black girl born in the hoods of Detroit. Even if she died here, the world would go on. Lu could find another savior; her mother would not.

  Raven brushed back her mother’s hair again taking one final look at her face. “I love you.”

  When this was over they’d all be able to start over again. Raven would have the life she always wanted. She closed her eyes and opened herself up. She tried to recreate the same effect she had with Tiffany. This time the darkness came faster than before.

  It was almost too easy.

  Something was wrong. Fear pumped into Raven’s chest. She fought against the darkness as it wrapped itself around her. The dark yanked her deeper into its depths. Something slammed against her, hard and unyielding. The darkness continued to pull at Raven, smashing her against the wall.

  Raven screamed. Her hands pressed into her temples trying to relieve the pressure. Everything hurt. Pain became the only thing she could feel. Her eyes rolled back as blood began to spill from her nose.

  The pain became blinding. As Raven’s body fell to the floor she heard a distant screaming. She couldn’t make out what the voice was saying.

  Her body convulsed and mouth widen with screams of terror. This is how I die? Raven thought as the world faded to dark. Here is where it all ends.

  49

  The Heart Queensland

  Lu wandered through the halls. She replayed the Red queen's words in her mind. With all that she had to deal with she hadn’t given her pending marriage enough thought. The future seemed to be such a vague thing.

  Lu touched her flat stomach. A child would grow inside of her that was part Josivin and part her. In order for that to happen they would have to…

  Lu imagined Josivin touching her. The cold metal of his ringed fingers grazing up her sides. She closed her eyes with a shutter, pushing the image from her mind. She held her pendant between her fingers.

  My body is a vessel. It does not belong to me, only to the goddess.

  Most of what the Red Queen said was not new to her. She’d known what she’d signed up for the moment she stood in front of the altar and bent the knee.

  “My queen?”

  Lu looked up to see Ramor staring at her. She glanced around the hall. Her wandering had brought her to his workroom. That seemed to be happening more often.

  “Hello Ace, I was just taking a stroll around the castle.” Lu glanced around the hall. The ceilings were higher than she remembered. They made her feel small. Tall red columns and dark painted marble, a hall that was too big and yet too small. A group of servants in their black and red dress walked pass them.

  Ramor took a step closer to Lu. “Are you well, your majesty? You looked a bit troubled.”

  Lu smiled at him. Their relationship had developed to the point where she no longer felt the need to constantly guard her emotions around him. He was her Ace now and it was important they were honest with each other. With Leo so busy and Domicin organizing the search parties, Ramor was one of the few people she could still talk to.

  “Queens are often troubled over many things. It is not easy to run a queensland,” Lu said.

  “Perhaps you would like to join me for a cup of tea. You can unload your burden on me.” Ramor said, opening the door to his study.

  Lu smiled at him. “Are you sure you have time for that?”

  It had become an inside joke of theirs after she’d noted how often Ramor seemed to check his pocket watch.

  Ramor smiled back. “I always have time for you.” The warmth in his voice made Lu’s face heat. She looked away in embarrassment. Her pale skin had always been quick to redden.

  “It is an annoying trait for those of us with paler skin,” Ramor said guiding her into the room. It smelled like old books and spiced tea. A scent that was so oddly, yet rightfully, him. He closed the door behind them. Lu turned around to face him.

  “I hate when you do that,” Lu said.

  Ramor smiled. “Do what?”

  “Read my mind. I hate that you know what I’m thinking.”

  Lu walked over to his desk. Like always, his study was in complete disarray. Several scrolls lay strewn out across his desk. She looked at the scroll on top. It said something about a tax notice.

  “It is my job to know what you’re thinking. How else am I supposed to know how to advise you on the best course of action,” Ramor said. Lu turned around and was surprised to see that he was standing directly behind her.

  He smiled at her. “Tea?”

  Ramor gestured toward the sofa and coffee table. Lu sat down on the sofa. Old and worn, she imagined Ramor spent a great deal of time sitting here going over documents. Ramor poured her a cup of tea before taking a seat next to Lu on the sofa.

  “I never had this problem with the Jack,” Lu said after taking a sip of her tea. The brown liquid warmed her insides.

  “The Jack is probably able to sense some of your feelings, it just isn’t as obvious. He represents your strength. When you are weak or in need he will sense that something is wrong. I, as the Ace, represent mental clarity and therefore am better at picking up on details of what bothers you. He is the body; I am the mind.”

  Lu thought about what he said. It made sense and explained the new level of connection she felt whenever she was around the Ace or the Jack. She often heard the queen referred to as the centerpiece with all things flowing through her. Apparently, that flow went in the opposite direction as well.

  “Well, it’s still annoying,” Lu said with a frown.

  “My apologies, my queen, I’ll try to work on making it less apparent.”

  “Don’t. It’s better if I just try to get use to it. I don’t want you to hide things from me just because you're afraid I can’t handle them. I can. I will.”

  ` Lu sat up straighter. She took another sip from her cup. The spiced tea burned at the back of her throat. She preferred it far more than the sweet concoction the Red Queen and Prince insisted on drinking.

  “So are you going to tell me what troubles you or do I have to ask?” Ramor said, setting his own cup back on t
he table.

  “My dress will be finished soon.”

  “And this upsets you?”

  “I do not know if upset is the right word.” Lu’s fingers tapped on the side of her cup. “I just…I just do not know if this is an appropriate time. There are so many things that require my attention. Perhaps we should think about postponing.”

  “I do believe that your marriage is supposed to help you, not harm you. The bond will be complete and your power over the queensland will be whole. Trust me, once this is over it will be easier to deal with everything else.”

  “I know but…” Lu looked down at her cup. She saw her reflection in the brown liquid.

  Hideous. What type of child could she ever hope to make with the prince?

  “Do not worry. It is natural to feel this way before a wedding, but this is a good change. You were not meant for politics, my queen. Your time is wasted here. A husband is just the thing you need.”

  “Have you ever been married?”

  Lu realized she knew very little of his life outside the queensland. She wasn’t even sure how old he was. He looked too young to be her mother’s adviser, but from what Lu had heard they’d known each other since they were children. Ramor could have had an entire family hidden away somewhere. Lu found the thought very unsettling.

  Ramor shook his head. “No, I’ve never been married.”

  “Why not?”

  “I am devoted to my queen. I have very little time for anything else,” Ramor said.

  Lu thought of Lecive. She wasn’t so completely removed from the court that she hadn’t heard the rumors. Of course, she knew they weren’t true. Her mother was queen and a devout woman. Sometimes children just don’t look anything like their fathers.

  At least he has mother’s beauty.

  “You and the previous queen were close. You must miss her,” Lu said.

  “Your mother was an amazing woman and our relationship was always respectful.”

  “I didn’t mean to imply-”

  “Don’t worry. There’s often much talk in the court. I’m honestly surprised though that people would think a woman of your mother’s caliber would pick a man such as me.”

  Lu looked down at her cup and smiled again. “You’re not that bad.”

  “I assure you, my queen, I’m absolutely atrocious.”

  They both chuckled.

  Lu looked back up at him. “But don’t you ever wish for a family?”

  Ramor shifted back, combing his fingers through his white locks. “I do not believe a family is apart of my future.”

  Lu didn’t ask why. Despite his attempt to hide it, Lu saw how his eyes darkened when he said it. Whatever it was he didn’t seem willing to share.

  “I will be a mother soon,” Lu said after a moment. Her voice was a little louder than she intended. Ramor looked at her. Lu blushed. She cleared her throat before continuing again. “I mean that if all goes according to plan I will be expected to bear a child soon after the wedding.”

  Lu thought back to the look on the Red Queen’s face when she spoke about childbirth. She pushed away the thought. There was nothing she could do about it. If that was the fate the goddess decided for her than she would just have to accept it.

  “Ah yes, and we must all do what is expected of us, less the queensland fall into utter chaos.” Ramor said with a hint of bitterness in his voice. Lu watched him. She was not sure what reaction she was expecting but this was not it. For some reason, she felt slightly disappointed. She quickly pushed the feeling aside.

  Ramor turned to her, his expression growing softer. “My apologies my queen, I’m not being of much help, am I?”

  “No, it is not you, Ace.” Lu folded her hands in her lap. “It’s just that the old queen died not too long ago and now I am expected to become a mother. I can be a queen, I think. I’ve trained for it my entire life, but I’ve had no training in being a mother. I don’t know how to not be afraid.” Lu stared down at her hands as she spoke.

  Meshi would surely be ashamed if she could see her now, too afraid to perform even the simplest of her womanly duties.

  “Your mother was not perfect, my queen. She was not a perfect queen and she was not a perfect woman. You do not have to be her to fulfill her role. You do not have to be like any of them. You can be better. I think you will be.”

  Lu looked at him. She could tell from the look in his eyes he’d meant it.

  “It seems odd to be thinking of families and future plans in light of all that is happening,” Lu said

  “You are still worried about the red rose.”

  Lu sighed. “Well, that is one of the many problems. We still do not know who is responsible for the previous queens death.”

  They’d tracked down all their leads but still hadn’t gotten anywhere. Whoever was behind it was good at covering their tracks. Lu would not be able to relax until they were caught.

  “But you have someone who you suspect might be behind it, don’t you,” Ramor said.

  Lu hesitated before answering him. She’d long assumed that someone inside the royal court was responsible for the deaths. It would be impossible to do without help from the inside, but there were consequences for speaking such things out loud.

  “I might but what about you, Ace. You know my mother’s enemies as well as she did. Surely you have your own suspicions about the matter.”

  Ramor stared back at her. He too sensed the sensitivity of the topic. “I believe the same thing that you may have already suspected. Someone inside the court played a major role in the queen's death.”

  “But who would gain from killing the queen and who would be bold enough to risk the consequences.”

  “I do not wish to offend you, my queen, but it seems your brother has gained a substantial amount of power within both the Red and Heart queensland since your parents' death.”

  Lu nodded. This fact had not escaped her notice. She’d been suspicious of her brother since the beginning but she didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Her general dislike of her eldest brother might have been responsible for swaying her judgment. If it was really him, she needed to be sure of it.

  “Lady Doshervich was hosting a ball that night. She and several others swear that Prince Lecive was there the whole time,” Lu said.

  “Perhaps that was apart of the plan.”

  “Perhaps.” But speculation wouldn’t be enough. If her brother had really been apart of the queen’s murder that would mark him as a traitor. Their laws demanded the highest form of punishment for such an act. The people would not support her executing her brother without a solid amount of evidence.

  “I can have some of my people look into it if you wish, my queen,” Ramor said.

  Lu shook her head. “Don’t bother. My brother is no fool. If he senses anyone getting too close he will become even harder to catch. I will deal with him.”

  “As you wish, my queen.”

  Lu picked up her cup and drained the last few sips. She placed the cup back down and stood.

  “Thank you for the tea, but it is late and I do not wish to keep you any longer.”

  Ramor stood and gave Lu a half bow. “It is my pleasure. Should you find yourself wanting another cup my door is always open.”

  Lu nodded to him before leaving. Once outside she glanced back at the closed door. Being with the Ace really did have an effect on her. It was becoming clearer who her friends and enemies were. Lecive was proving himself to be the man she’d always known him to be. With all the pieces falling into place she just needed to decide her next move and act on it.

  50

  Dion sat watching the door. It had been exactly an hour and twenty-three minutes since Raven left. Every passing minute only increased his anxiety. His eyes glanced at the clock posted on the wall next to the front desk.

  Tick-tock.

  Tick-tock.

  “What do you think is taking her so long?” Dion asked, glancing at Tiffany.

  “I don’t know, which
is the exact same thing I told you five minutes ago.”

  “Aren’t you worried at all?”

  Tiffany sighed and rolled her eyes. Of course, she was worried. Her best friend was somewhere sneaking around a mental institution. The probability of her getting caught was actually one of the more positive outcomes. Tiffany was so nervous that she could suck down an entire bottle of antacids and still find no relief, but there wasn’t much she could do without drawing attention to herself.

  “You know what, why don’t you go up there and ask her,” Tiffany said looking at the woman behind the desk. “I’m sure she’d be glad to help you locate our friend who’s in the middle of a B & E,” Tiffany hissed under her breath.

  Dion glared back at her but held his tongue. Tiffany had a point, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He settled back into his chair and tried not to fidget. The blue plastic chairs were far from comfortable.

  The door buzzed. They both jumped and turned to see it creaking open. Hopeful to see Raven, they were sadly disappointed.

  “What’s he doing here?” Dion asked.

  Tiffany didn’t answer. She quickly turned around, grabbing Dion’s arm and turning him with her. She couldn’t let him see them. The last thing she wanted was Drake Murphy recognizing who they were.

  “Tiffany? What’s-“ Dion started to ask but Tiffany shushed him. She listened as Drake moved closer. He was speaking with a man in a black suit.

  “As you can see Mr. Murphy, Corvix is a great facility that values all our patients. I assure you we will take great care of Ms. Murphy while she’s here. But, should the need arise we also have wonderful programs for our more long-term patients,” the man said.

  “Thank you, Mr. Foster. Right now we're just looking for hourly appointments but this tour has been very…informative,” Drake said.

  Dion looked at Tiffany. His face was one of confusion. Tiffany had a similar look on her face. She knew Drake threw mutual friends. Sometimes they even partied together, but she didn’t know him on personal bases. This was the first time she’d heard about a Ms. Murphy.