Anger, Managed
Page 7
I asked Trevor to meet me at the stream. I want to talk to him about what is happening. I fear that I will lose one or the other if we do not stop and discuss things. I do not want to lose either of them. Trevor and I have been friends since we were five. Both of our parents were neglectful but his at least kept a fully stocked fridge. He would sneak me food after he found me staring in his window one morning as he ate his cereal.
I didn’t have the pride then to turn down a meal. I was starving. I think I would have taken a beating to have food and that is saying a lot. Thankfully Trevor was good to me and brought me food often until we met Sammy and her grandmother who thought I was far too skinny and in need of fattening up. I owe so much to my friends and that keeps me from starting anything with Sammy.
I see Trevor at the stream. It is too cold this time of year for any kind of wading or fishing so he is skipping stones and seems to be deep in thought. I wonder if his dilemma is the same as mine. I am sure it has to be. I wonder if he is feeling the same way as I am about Sammy. I know the looks I have seen him giving her are full of longing but I wonder if it is with the same intensity.
His thick black hair is overly long right now because of course his parents can’t be bothered to take him for a haircut. I am surprised Sammy’s grandma hasn’t cut it herself yet. She usually does when she sees our neglect. She is all of our grandmothers even though we aren’t related by blood. You can’t choose who you are related to but you can choose who you surround yourself with. She is a good woman.
Trevor looks up at me with his almond shaped, sky blue eyes. There is the reason all the girls want him. He could probably even get up a girls skirt now if he wanted to. I never envied him though because the only person my body responds to is Sammy. I thought at one time that it had to be because it was forbidden. Though, as time goes by it has only grown in intensity and I no longer believe that is the reason.
I walk over and sit down next to Trevor and start gathering my own flat rocks to skip across the water. We are quiet for a while as we enjoy the peace and tranquility that we have always had in our spot. I let the trickling sound soothe me as I breathe in the crisp air of winter. It is invigorating and comforting. This is one of the few constants in my life. This and my two best friends.
“I know why you want to talk.” Trevor says as he throws another stone.
“I saw the way you look at her too.” He says as he turns to look me in the eye, daring me to lie to him about it. I wouldn’t lie to him even if I could.
“Yeah, I noticed that we both like her.” I look away as I says this. Here comes the hard part.
“You know neither of us can be with her or we risk our friendship.” I tell him as a shudder works through me as though my body is revolting against the very idea of not pursuing Sammy.
“I know but we will have to stay away from her then and I really hate doing that.” He says as I nod my head. I do not like it either but what choice do we have.
“I don’t either but you know that we would end up fighting over her and it would ruin our friendship with each other and her too.” I tell him. We make a pact then and there that we will avoid her as much as we can. Unfortunately that also meant I wouldn’t have meals anymore at her grandmothers table. I would miss that nearly as much as I would miss her.
I am going to miss the walks along the stream as we talked about nothing or everything. I will miss the way she smiles and how good she smells. I know what I am doing is right but that doesn’t make it any easier. I will keep you in my heart always. I think to myself as I look over at where her house is barely visible through the trees.
Chapter 3. 18 Years old. Trevor
I sit in the place where my heart broke into a million pieces. I know that sounds like a pussy talking but it doesn’t change its truth. Yesterday, I saw them kissing. I saw his arms around her, under this very tree, as their lips moved against one another’s. We had agreed that neither could have her and yet he broke that promise the first chance he got. I have been in love with Sammy for as long as I can remember and agreeing to walk away, nearly destroyed me and it was all for nothing.
I punch the tree again and the skin on my knuckle opens. Blood starts to flow down my hand. I shake it off and curse. I can’t get it out of my head. Stefan promised to stay away from her. Yes he is Stefan now because Step died yesterday. What would I have done in his place? My conscience says. Fuck. I would probably have kissed her. Damn it, I can’t even be mad at him.
A twig snaps behind me and I turn to see her standing there looking at me and then down at my hand. A v forms in between her eyes with worry. I do not want her worry. I want her heart. I want her soul. I want her lips against mine as they had been with Step.
“What’s the matter?” She asks so innocently that it pisses me off. How dare she ask me that?
“Oh please you know I saw you kissing Step yesterday. Have you forgotten? You were right here and he was mauling you like an animal.” I know it’s an over exaggeration but the knife in my heart is still turning as my world has slipped off its axis.
“Oh.” Is all she says? Oh. One word. One single fucking word. I take a step toward her. She doesn’t retreat. I am thankful for that. I reach out and run a finger down her soft cheek. She inhales sharply and takes my hand. She examines the damage to it. I am not feeling any pain. I am enthralled by her light touch. Her tongue pokes out between her teeth as she always does when concentrating. I groan as my pants grow impossibly tight.
She looks up at me through her thick reddish, blonde lashes. She is the most beautiful girl in the world and I am unable to deny myself any longer. I take her in to my arms and slam my lips against hers. She gasps and I use the opening to slide my tongue in to tangle with hers. She does the unexpected and melts into me with a moan. My knees nearly give out at the taste of her sweetness. She is better than I ever imagined and I have imagined plenty.
I pull back and look at her dazed expression and her swollen lips. I do the only thing I can and go back for more. This time she opens to me immediately and our tongues dance together as we learn each other. I will never forget this moment and I know that there will never be another woman for me. She is it. I am about to tell her just that when a curse sounds from behind us.
“Mother Fucker!” Is what Step shouts before he swings me around and punches me in the nose. I hear the crack and know that it is broken. Step is tall and large, greatly in part to free school lunches and I sneaking him breakfast every morning. I do not stand a chance against his ham like fists but I try anyway. We both fall to the ground swinging. I got in as many licks as he did but mine did less damage and the last thing I remember is hearing Sammy screaming.
About Amy Robyn
Amy Robyn is a wife and a mother of three crazy boys. She also has three dogs she considers her children. She is currently living in Louisiana. She loves to sing karaoke and spend time with her family. She enjoys a good happy ending and that carries through in her books.
Other Books By Amy Robyn
Psionics: Gage
Psionics: Aaron
Psionics: Graham
Psionics: Dagger & James
Psionics: Forest
Psionics: Jenna
Psionics: Talon
Through The Eyes Of Her Wolf
Shadows: Bryce & Caleb
With Love, Thomas
His Discipline
Guarding His Body
His Christmas Wish
More Than Friends
Help Wanted
The Genius
A Shiver For Dante
Greenwood Pride: Cade & Bree
Greenwood pride: Reno
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