Always Series Box Set

by Becs, Lindsay

  His brows shoot up. “Nothing?”

  Slowly, I shake my head side to side. “I’ve only kissed one other person,” I say, dropping my eyes from his. “And it was right before I came to the team,” I add.

  “Fuck,” he sighs. I look back up at him, and he’s running a hand through his hair.

  “You probably don’t want me now, huh?”

  “Why the hell would you say that? If anything, it makes me want you more because I’m an asshole.”

  “You aren’t an asshole.” I smile.

  “Penny, if you knew the things going through my mind right now, you’d definitely think I was an asshole.”

  “No, I wouldn’t. A perv maybe but not an asshole.”

  At that, he laughs. “Pen, I really like you. But this only makes it more evident that I need to stay away from you.”

  Him saying that strikes a nerve in me. Before I think more about anything we’ve said, I throw myself at him, crashing my mouth to his. I can tell by his stiff body that he wasn’t expecting it, but he soon relaxes with me.

  Our lips start to move with one another, and when I feel his tongue slide against my bottom lip, I open my mouth inviting him in. It’s different from when I kissed Jesse. I don’t feel the same spark of electricity, but I still feel the same swarm of butterflies in my stomach as I did before.

  His hands that had been on my back begin to move. One goes down, grabbing my butt, while the other pulls the band out of my messy hair, letting it fall around us.

  “We shouldn’t do this,” he says into my mouth before going back for more.

  He backs up, taking me with him until he reaches the couch in his suite. He sits, taking me with him to straddle his lap. We’re kissing and moving together, and it feels good.

  But then my mind flashes back to Jesse again. This is how we kissed. This feels good, but it felt better before. Zander’s lips kiss down my jaw and neck. When I feel him begin to suck on my sensitive flesh, it snaps me out of my trance.

  “Stop,” I say, pushing back. “Zander, please stop.”

  He does, looking up at me with hooded eyes. “You OK?” he asks, tucking my hair behind my ears. The small gesture feels sweet.

  “Yeah.” I smile. “I just… this is a lot for me. I’m sorry. I know I started it, but I need to stop,” I add, looking down.

  “Hey,” He pulls my face up to look at him. “It’s alright, Pen.”

  “You aren’t mad?”

  “Not even a little bit.” He smiles, looking genuine. “I really do like you, Penny. We can do this at your speed. And if you don’t want any of it, that’s alright, too. I like you, but I like our friendship more.”

  “Thank you for being so understanding.”

  Right then, my phone starts to ring. I don’t know who would be calling me this late, but when I see the name on my phone, I know this can’t be good.

  Climbing off Zander, I walk to the corner of the room. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Nugget. I’m sorry if I woke you. I don’t know where the fuck you are in the world right now,” he says with a laugh.

  “I was up.”

  “OK, good.”

  “What’s up, Jess?”

  “I’m on my way home to get my truck and I was going to get Bear, too, but then I wasn’t sure if you’d be upset if I did that. How much longer do you have traveling?”

  “You want to take Bear?” I ask in a panic.

  “Whoa, slow down, not like that. I’m going to Vegas. I figured you were going to be working there anyway and he could stay with me until you got back.”

  “Oh. You’re gonna be in Vegas?”

  “Yep. First duty station.”

  “Um… yeah, take Bear. That’s fine. He’s your dog, too.”

  “He’s ours, Nugget.”

  “Yeah. Ours.” I don’t know why, but tears spring to my eyes saying that. Gosh, I miss both of them.

  “Alright, well, I gotta go. We’re stopping for gas. It was good to hear your voice, Pen.”

  “Yours, too. Bye, Jess.”

  I stand there lost in my thoughts for a minute before I hear Zander’s voice behind me.

  “So that was the other guy, huh?”

  “My best friend,” I clarify. “But yeah. I should go.”

  “You sure you’re OK? Especially after that?” he asks, nodding toward my phone in my hand.

  “Yeah.” I smile at him. “I’ll be fine. Just need some sleep.”

  “If you need anything, I’m here. And I don’t just mean for kissing.”

  That makes me laugh. “Thanks.”

  I leave his room and make my way to my own. Throwing the blankets over my head in bed, I give in to my tears, letting them consume me.

  Chapter Eight

  Jesse

  “Nugget?” Alvie says next to me in the truck. I thought the fucker was asleep when I called her.

  “Just drop it. OK, man?” I ask, not looking over at his smug face.

  “Whatever you say, Jones.” He chuckles before adding, “This should be fun.”

  The rest of the drive he doesn’t bring it back up, which I’m grateful for and also surprised by. I’m ready to be out of this car when we pull up to the house that became my home when I was a kid.

  Exiting the car, I stretch out my legs and arms as we walk to the front door. It’s Tilly’s house, so I just walk in. I’m immediately brought back to growing up here. It smells like butter and sugar and everything heavenly. My mouth is already watering for whatever it is she has made.

  My aunt Tilly is an amazing lady. Not only did she take me in without question, but she also runs her own bakery. She opened up Sugar Stacked when I was fifteen. It’s a full bakery, but also has a coffee shop side, as well.

  She makes everything from fresh bread for sandwiches to chocolate confections, wedding cakes, cupcakes, and cookies. I grew up getting to taste test everything and even help her from time to time. One thing is for sure though: she’s never happier than when she pulls out a tray of her favorite cookies from the oven.

  Alvie follows me into the kitchen, where we see a pile of those exact cookies sitting on the counter. “Tilly!” I yell, grabbing a cookie and gesturing for Alvie to do the same.

  “Jesse?” I hear her question from outside. I look to see the sliding back door is open.

  “I know I told you Alvie is a douche, but no need to hide.” I smile at my friend, who gives me the finger while reaching for another cookie.

  She steps back into the house, looking flustered but quickly rights herself, giving me a big hug. “You boys made good time.”

  “Yep,” I say around a bite of cookie.

  “And I see you found the cookies I made,” she laughs. “I have dinner already in the works. You’re staying, right?”

  “Depends. Is it that soup stuff you tried to make that one time?”

  She playfully slaps my arm, “No, you ass. I have steaks marinating and a few sides prepped. I invited Travis to join us. I hope that’s alright.”

  “Of course,” I say. Behind me, Alvie clears his throat to remind me of his existence, as if I could forget. “Oh yeah, Tilly this is Ethan, or Alvie as I call him. Alvie, this is the best woman you’ll ever meet. So, keep your nasty ass away.”

  “Fucker,” he mumbles, pushing past me to shake Tilly’s hand. “Nice to meet you. Thank you for these morsels of heaven,” he says, talking about the cookies, of which he’s already consumed five of.

  “No problem,” she chuckles. “Dinner will still be a couple hours. You want to sit? I can make some coffee.”

  “That sounds great.” I wink at her and take a seat at the round table in the middle of the kitchen. “Hey, where’s Bear? I thought even his lazy ass would be excited to see me.”

  “Oh, he’s at Travis’s place. You want to get him? He was going to bring him over later.”

  “Yeah, I’m gonna go get him. I’m excited to see the furball.”

  I cautiously leave Alvie with Tilly while I walk next do
or to Travis’s house to get the dog that I share with Penny.

  Knocking on the door, I hear Bear’s gruff bark and smile. Travis answers the door and Bear barrels out past him, almost knocking me on my ass. I fall to my knees, hugging and loving on my dog. Man, I missed him.

  “I think he missed you,” Travis chuckles.

  “Thanks for helping take care of him while Penny and I were both gone.”

  “It wasn’t a problem. Honestly, I’ll miss the shedder when he’s gone. If I’d known how much he shed when we took him in, I don’t know if I would have agreed to it.”

  I smile at that as I remember when Penny and I found him.

  “Jesse? What is that?” Nugget asks while we’re out catching lightning bugs one night. The sun has just barely begun to go down.

  “Maybe it’s a big scary bear,” I tease her.

  “It’s too small to be a bear,” she says with a hand on her hip. “Come on, let’s go see.”

  I follow her over to the pile of fur. We cautiously walk closer and closer, hearing it whimper.

  “I think it’s hurt,” she says with sadness dripping from her voice.

  “But what is it?” I ask, still not sure how much closer we should get.” I pull her arm to stop her from going any farther. “Let me see. You stay here.”

  I walk up to it and see it’s a dog. It looks hurt, though. “You OK, buddy?” I ask the dog as I attempt to touch it. The poor thing whimpers again before nuzzling against my leg. I smile down at it. He seems harmless. At least I think it’s a boy.

  “Nugget, it’s a dog. He seems harmless, but hurt.”

  “Oh, no! Jesse, we have to help him!” she says, coming up to where I am. Running her fingers through his fur, she tries to soothe him. He nuzzles into her touch before turning his head and licking her fingers.

  “Watch out, I’m going to try to pick him up.” I stand and lift the dog in my arms. He whimpers again but goes willingly. With Penny on my heels, I carry him to her house.

  “Penny, what the hell is that?” her dad asks when she makes him come outside.

  “A dog, Daddy. He’s hurt. We have to help him,” she pleads.

  He lets out a frustrated sigh before searching his phone for the number of a vet with after hours. We pile into his truck with the dog lying on Penny’s lap and make our way to the vet.

  “You’re going to be alright, Bear,” Penny soothes the dog.

  “Bear?” Travis asks.

  She shrugs her shoulder. “Jesse said it could be a bear. He seems like a big teddy bear. I think it’s the perfect name.”

  “We aren’t keeping him, LP.”

  “But, Daddy!” she protests.

  “We’ll talk about it later,” he says, giving in to her like he always does, and she tries to hide a satisfied smile.

  Bear came home with us and never left. We’ve shared him since that day. Taking turns with him in our houses, feeding him, walking him, playing with him. He’s been with us since we were ten and thirteen.

  Bear follows me back to Tilly’s house, and we spend the rest of the night telling her, and later Travis, all about life in the military so far. They laugh at some of our stories and shenanigans, but mostly they just listen to us. Alvie and I eat like we haven’t eaten in years, and when we feel like we’re about to be in food comas, we head to my house for the night.

  “They’re really great,” Alvie tells me when we get to my house down the road.

  “Yeah. I’m lucky to have them.” I can’t help the smile on my face. I really am lucky.

  “So, they a couple?”

  “What?” I ask, put off by his question. “Not in the least,” I huff, like it’s the most ridiculous thing ever suggested.

  “My bad, man. They seem close. Surprised they aren’t.”

  I think about that. “They practically raised Penny and me together. They were both single parents at young ages not knowing exactly what they were doing. It’s only natural that they’re close. But a couple? Fuck no.”

  “What happened to Penny’s mom?”

  “She died when Pen was little. Cancer.”

  “Fuck. That’s rough. He seems so young.”

  “He is. He was only twenty-six when his wife died, and he had a three-year-old to raise.”

  “Damn.”

  “Anyway.” I clap my hands together, not wanting to talk about Penny and her family anymore. “You good? You need anything else?”

  “Nah, man, I’m good. Thanks for all the Midwestern hospitality.”

  I head up to the loft, where my bed is. Bear is already curled up at the end snoring. I chuckle at him as I strip down to my boxers and climb in bed. I lie awake most of the night thinking about Penny and what she’s doing.

  Chapter Nine

  Penny

  The last months and weeks of the IMR season come to a victorious close. It’s bittersweet. I’ll miss my RK family, but I’m also glad to get a break from it all and go home to see my dad.

  Zander did it. He took first place overall, breaking records. It made the RK crew ecstatic, even if it did mean that the top King took a step down for the first time in years.

  Benton placed second, a first in his racing career in the IMR, behind Zander. He likes to complain and act pissed off about it, but I think deep inside he’s happy to have the pressure on someone else. Not that I think he’s ready to hang up his racing leathers anytime soon, but I think he’ll happily step back and just enjoy racing for the time being.

  I’m packing up my stuff in the last hotel I’ll stay in before heading home when I hear a knock on my door. Looking through the peephole, I see it’s Zander. When I open the door, it’s apparent he is freshly showered, looking hot as heck right now.

  “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be out celebrating with everyone?” I ask him, trying not to be too obvious in how I’m checking him out.

  “That’s what everyone thinks I should be doing. Can I come in?” he asks with a nod toward the inside of my hotel room.

  “Uh, sure.” I open the door further, stepping back as he walks inside. I can smell his clean man scent as he walks past me, and I have to hold back from letting out an audible moan.

  “So, what’s up, Zander?” I ask him, closing the door.

  “I can’t let the track be the last place I see you.”

  “That’s silly. I’ll see you back in Vegas, right?”

  “Not for a while. I’m flying from here to Cali for a while.”

  “Oh,” I say the only word my mouth seems to know right now.

  “Penny, I really like you.”

  “So you’ve said before,” I reply nervously, tucking my hair behind my ear.

  He takes a step closer to me, his hands landing on my hips. I slowly look up into his face, licking my dry lips. His eyes don’t miss the movement. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about kissing you that day. I know things aren’t right for us, but I’ll regret not doing this.”

  Before my brain can catch up to what he’s saying, his lips are on mine. He’s soft at first but slowly takes command of my mouth. He pulls my hips flush to his, and my hands wrap around his neck as I lean into him more.

  Then as fast as it started, it stops. He steps away from me, my hands dropping from him. Smiling, he tucks my hair behind my ear again and kisses my forehead.

  “I’ll see you around, Pen,” he says and leaves my room.

  I don’t turn around until I hear the click of the door closing behind me. My fingers go to my just-kissed lips. What was that?

  I don’t know what is happening anymore. I reach for my phone and call the only person I know who can help me. Not much later, another knock sounds on my door.

  “This better be good, Penny,” Tatum says, pushing into my room. “I was about to get angry adrenaline sex. I told you about how good that is.”

  I shake my head in an attempt to get that image out. “Sorry to interrupt your love fest, Tate. But I need my sister right now, OK?”

  She
looks at me closely and softens a little bit. “What happened? Did Macallan hurt you? I will cut off his balls with a rusty knife, so help me God, if he hurt you.”

  “No. Gosh, why does everything have to be so extreme with you?”

  “Well, you don’t usually call me like this, so start talking. What’s going on?” she asks gently this time, sitting down on the couch in my room.

  “I’m confused,” I tell her.

  “About what?” she asks slowly. “Do you like girls?”

  “Tatum! Stop asking questions.”

  Her hands go up in surrender. “It’s OK if you do, you know.”

  “Yes, I know. Thank you for being understanding, but no. I’m confused about boys.”

  “Boys have dicks. If they use them right, they are awesome,” she says with a smirk. Ew.

  I sigh in frustration. “You are really no help, you know that?”

  She lets out a little chuckle, which isn’t an easy feat with her. “Really? Because now, you aren’t thinking about what you called me over for in the first place. I win.”

  “Why are you so frustrating?”

  “It’s my natural charm,” she says, “But seriously, I’m sorry. No more theatrics. What’s going on?”

  “I kissed Zander again. Or rather he kissed me again,” I tell her.

  “Did you want to kiss him?”

  “I think so. But he says he’s not good for me.”

  She tilts her head to the side. “Maybe he isn’t as dumb as I thought he was.”

  “I don’t think I want to date him.”

  “Then don’t.” She smirks. “Look, Pen, I know this is all new to you. But it’s OK to kiss a couple of guys and not date them. Now, you don’t need to spread your legs for all of them, but have fun. Date around and find out what you like in a guy.”

  “But then there’s Jesse.”

  “O. K… what about Jesse?”

  “He’ll be in Vegas.”

  “Is that good or bad?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “Have you talked to him much?”

  “No. Only a couple times. He picked up Bear when he got his truck and has him in Vegas with him now.”