Always Series Box Set

by Becs, Lindsay

“I’ll leave first thing in the morning. I’m sorry it’s so late.”

  “You know you’re welcome here any time. Your room doesn’t change; it’s always there for you. And besides, I was up. I don’t sleep much anymore.”

  “Me either.”

  “Want to watch a movie?” I ask, which seems to lighten her mood some. I pop popcorn, adding in M&Ms while she picks a movie. We don’t say much as the chick-flick she picked begins to play, and before it’s halfway through, Tatum is snoring. I turn off the TV and cover her with a blanket before going upstairs to maybe get a couple of hours of sleep.

  The next day, I tell Tatum to stay and ask her to keep an eye on Penny for me while I run an errand. She gladly agrees, and I wish she’d come by more often, for her sake just as much as Penny’s and my own.

  I pull up to the house and try to not let my anger get away from me, but as soon as my fist knocks on the door and his smug face opens it, I can’t help it. My fist pulls back and fires straight at his face.

  “Fuck!” Adam yells, grabbing his jaw, ready to hit me back, but I’m too fast and hit him a second time. This time he falls on his ass.

  “You owe Tatum a fucking apology, you piece of shit!” I yell into his red face as I grab him by the collar. “If I ever hear that you lock her out again or call her anything but princess, I will not only come back and deliver a bigger beat down, I’ll bring Ollie with me too.”

  “Are you threatening me?” he laughs.

  “Sure am. Clean up your shit-stained pants and get ready to deliver that apology. I’ll send Tatum home in an hour.”

  “You’ve got balls, you lowly piece of shit. I’ll give you that.”

  “Are you just now realizing that?”

  His bloody smile grows, making him look more insane. “No, I guess I should have known that when you married my crazy ex-wife. Guess you got off lucky since Josie died and all.”

  “You son of a bitch!” I yell as I pummel him again and again. I’m engrossed in my anger when I can feel Josie pulling me away to stop. My breathing is ragged and my knuckles raw. I spit on him as he’s lying there in the fetal position, then turn to leave. “Don’t you ever say her name again.”

  I drive down the road, and when I’m far enough away for him not to see me, I pull over just in time to puke out the side of my car. I haven’t lost my temper like that in a long time. “Fuck!” I yell, slapping my hands on my steering wheel. I try to calm my breathing as best I can, and when I make it home, I race straight to my bathroom to clean myself up before the girls see me.

  Although Adam deserved every hit I delivered, I shouldn’t have done that. There’s no way Tatum won’t put it all together. Not to mention it was stupid. Adam is smart, and he’s the exact kind of shithead who would use this against me to ruin my life and take my family from me. I can only hope that he’s a little scared of me and will leave it all alone and never come near me again.

  “You OK, Trav?” Tatum asks, knocking on the bedroom door.

  I pull it open and look at her. “I just beat the shit out of your dad,” I admit honestly.

  She stares at me in disbelief for a few seconds before laughter bubbles out of her. “Holy shit!”

  I smirk at her. This girl is deranged if she thinks this is funny. “It’s not funny, Tate.”

  “I wish I could have seen his face when you hit him the first time. I bet it was totally epic!”

  “Yeah, epic.” I roll my eyes at her. “It was stupid. I lost my shit. I’m sorry, Tate.”

  “Thank you for standing up for me, Travis.”

  “You know I’d do anything for you. You are my family just as much as Penny. Even Ollie,” I add with a chuckle.

  “You’re my family. You’re more of a dad to me than he is.”

  That means more to me than she’ll ever know. “Thanks, Tate.”

  “You good if I leave? I want to see how badly you beat in his ugly mug.”

  “That’s terrible!” I laugh. “Get out of here. Text me later and let me know you’re good, OK?”

  She agrees, and a couple of hours later I get a text from her.

  Tatum: His face looks like a lumpy dark cloud. Nice job. He’s taking the week off work to hide. Pussy.

  This girl. God help the man who tries to tame her.

  Tatum: Oh! And he apologized and kicked out this week’s flavor. Nice job, Trav!

  Me: You’re sick. But thanks. Need anything, hit me up, K?

  Tatum: I will. Love ya, new favorite dad.

  Me: Back at ya, Tate.

  As weird of a day as it’s been, I’m glad to have this time with her. I think we hit a new level in our stepdad/stepdaughter relationship. I wish Josie were here to see it. Although, she’d kick my ass for what I did.

  I go to my room and pull out the letter labeled “When Adam Strikes.”

  Oh boy, what did he do now? Or maybe the bigger question is: did you hit him yet? You did, didn’t you? Travis! How many times have I told you through the years that you cannot fix problems with your fists? Too many!

  But I bet that bastard deserved it. Is it bad that I was probably smiling and cheering you on as you did it? Oh man, that’s a terrible thing to say… And now I’m done feeling bad about it. That. That’s how long you should let it get to you. Move on. Move past it. Keep your distance.

  I’m sorry he has to be a part of me that I had to leave behind. But I did have to watch you kiss that girl Sara! We’re even.

  Love you, baby!

  Chapter Three

  Travis

  Two Years After Josie

  This year is already killing me. Penny started kindergarten, and as excited as she was to go, I hated seeing my little garage helper leave my side. Besides, she needs more structure and sunny rainbows than she’s getting from me.

  “Hey, dick face!” Ollie yells as he walks into the house. He’s fucking lucky that Penny started school this year and is exhausted when she gets home. She’s already passed out for the night.

  “What are you doing here?” I toss back at him, irritated that he’s here with his sunny disposition. Can’t I have a night to drown my sorrow?

  “Nice to see you too, sugar tits,” he says, tossing me an air kiss.

  I fake grab the kiss and throw it back at him. “That’s sugar dick to you, asshole.”

  “I’ll take your word on that one.” He plops down on the couch next to me. “I came by to see if you wanted to go out for once. Actually put on clothes that aren’t coveralls, grease-stained jeans, or gym shorts.”

  “Nah, I’m good. Pen is sleeping anyway. You do remember you have a little sister who lives here, right?”

  “I love that kid, you know that,” he replies, annoyed with me. “Tate is on her way. I already called her. I knew you’d use it as an excuse. You haven’t had a night off in… I don’t even know if you’ve ever had a night off. Come on, let’s go out.”

  I groan, running my hands through my hair that needs to be cut. I know he isn’t going to let this go until he gets his way. “Fine. Let me shower and change.”

  “Fuck yes! We are getting laid tonight!”

  It's like a bucket of ice water is poured down my back. I freeze and Ollie notices.

  “Trav, I didn’t… I’m sorry. You know I run my mouth. Let’s go out, have a good time. I’ll get laid. You can come back to your sleeping angel upstairs. OK?”

  Gritting my teeth, I nod and force my feet to move, walking upstairs to get ready to go out with my best friend. I do miss hanging out with him and shooting the shit. Now that he’s closer to home again, working at a hospital an hour away, it’s nice to see him more. Most of the time.

  Stepping into the hot spray of the shower, I take a minute to try to relax and let Ollie’s comment get out of my head.

  Before Josie, I hung out with girls and slept with a few, but I’ve never been a player like Ollie. He’s allergic to relationships and anything that resembles dating a woman more than once to get in her pants. I don’t envy that.
>
  Me? I have zero desire to date. Hell, I barely have the urge to meet a new woman just to start a conversation. I would hardly say I’m going to step foot in a bar and want to fuck some bimbo I just met. That’s never been me, and it definitely doesn’t appeal to me now.

  I miss my wife. Plain and simple. It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than a night out with a buddy for me to want to screw someone. It makes me want to puke thinking about another woman touching me like that or kissing anyone that isn’t Josie. No thanks. I’ll keep my mouth on my bottle of beer instead of a pair of lips that I don’t know.

  I finish my shower and dress. By the time I head downstairs, Tatum is there talking to Ollie. I’m sure those two have their own agenda for tonight, but I’m not biting.

  Ollie and I head to a place not too far from my house. It’s strange; I haven’t been out like this in years. I feel almost itchy, like I’m doing something I shouldn’t being here at almost ten at night.

  “I’m getting the first round. Then, you’re buying my pretty face a drink, sir,” Ollie says as he skips to the bar. Yes, skips. And he is a doctor. I chuckle to myself, shaking my head.

  He comes back with four bottles for us, and soon a waitress drops a basket of their house kettle chips on the table with a couple of menus. Ollie orders a burger, and I give in and get one too. We sit silently at first, nursing our beers, but before long we’re talking and joking like old times. I do miss this. Not the bar scene but hanging out with Ollie like this. I miss laughing with him. He always could make me laugh more than anyone. Well, until Josie.

  “Hey, where’d you go? You were doing so well loosening up. I even heard an actual laugh come out of you,” he says, poking fun at me.

  I let out a frustrated breath. And now fun time is over. “You want another drink?” I ask, standing to head toward the bar for a minute away from him to gather my bearings again.

  “You do owe me.”

  “Daiquiri then?”

  “You know me so well, sugar dick.”

  “Fuck off,” I chuckle, walking toward the bar.

  “But I got you to laugh again!” he yells after me.

  A couple of hours later and I’m tired and ready to head home. I know Penny will be up early no matter what time I go to bed. Seeing as it’s almost one, I need to get home and attempt a few hours.

  Ollie has been flirting with a girl who walked in a little after us with a group of girls. He’s talking to her now as I settle my bill and call for a cab. I give Ollie a head nod in the distance and wave, letting him know I’m out. He returns with a nod of his own and a lip bite, letting me know he’s hot for the girl he’s talking to. She swats at him, and his eyes go back to her, making me laugh.

  Walking inside the house, I hear the lull of the TV playing in the living room, but Tatum isn’t in there. I make my way upstairs to check on my LP before I hit my bed for the night. Pushing open her door, I stop when I see two figures in her bed. Tatum is asleep, spooning her. I smile watching them sleep. I’m so grateful for her. She might not live with us anymore, but I’m so glad that Penny has her to look up to. Hell, even Ollie and his skanky ass.

  I pull the door closed and head to my room. After brushing my teeth and changing into shorts, I pull my treasure box from my closet. Leaning back against the headboard, I close my eyes and let my head fall back.

  “I need you tonight, Joes. I miss you, pretty girl, so damn much.”

  I reach in and grab a letter that I’ve read so many times I have it memorized, but I still read it from the paper so I can read from her hands and touch.

  Hey, baby,

  Miss me?

  Travis, I cannot even begin to imagine what you are feeling right now. What I do know is that if the tables were reversed, there is no way I’d be holding it together as well as you have been.

  If had to wake up without the promise of you next to me, I don’t think I could breathe. Just trying to think about that makes my heart ache in my chest.

  I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry I couldn’t beat this again. I’m sorry you have to see me sick again. I’m sorry I have to leave. I’m sorry I can’t be there to hold your hand or kiss your perfectly sexy lips. I’m sorry I can’t be there to help raise our daughter and my kids. I’m so sorry, Travis.

  But I’m not sorry for choosing you. Us. I’m not sorry about the beautiful baby girl we made together. I’m not sorry for a second of our life together. I’m not sorry for loving you, laughing with you, and living the last moments of my life with you.

  Don’t miss me too much, OK? I mean, I know I’m pretty awesome, but you got this. I know you do. Let in those who love you, and one day a few more people too. Love and be happy.

  I love you.

  Always,

  Josie

  * * *

  Penny and I moved into a new house a few months ago, but I still can’t get used to it. It’s a three-bedroom house with two smaller bedrooms upstairs and the master downstairs. I gave Penny the master when we moved in. I keep a baby monitor still so I can hear her. Call me paranoid since she’s five, but I can’t help it. The rooms upstairs are mine. One’s an office/spare room and the other my bedroom.

  I needed not only to save money to help with the still-piling medical bills, but I needed to have a fresh start for Penny and me. I needed a place that wasn’t consuming me with Josie every second.

  I hit my limit of wallow when Ollie offered to take Penny with him for a while to give me time to get my shit together. I knew I needed to pull my head out of my ass and put my broken heart aside so I could be the dad I needed to be for my kid.

  It’s nice here. It’s still within the Graves city limits and close to the garage, but we’re more in the country here and I like that. I have a single house right next to me, which is empty, and I hope it stays that way.

  Penny loves being outside, and here she has so much more freedom to run and play. She’d sleep outside most nights if I let her. She wants to wear pink every day and made Tatum teach me how to braid her hair, but if she isn’t covered in dirt by the end of the day, she isn’t happy.

  “LP!” I yell out the back door for her.

  “Coming, Daddy!”

  She comes barreling around the corner at full speed when I catch her little body before she drags more grass inside. “Not so fast, stink bug.”

  “Hey! I’m not a bug!”

  “Sometimes you are,” I chuckle.

  “Daddy, that’s not nice.” She pouts, taking off her shoes.

  “Go get cleaned up for dinner, and then I have a surprise to show you.”

  “Is Tate eating with us?” she screams from the bathroom.

  “Geez, Pen, lower the screams a little.” I hear Tate answer her question and reprimand her for me in one breath. I’m going to miss her when she leaves soon.

  When she moved in and started helping me at the garage a while back, I had no idea how much of a help she’d be. She is really going to be missed by all of us, including my customers.

  Penny is bouncing in her seat all through dinner, and I know I have her on pins and needles. Once Tatum clears the table, I bring the bag in and set it in front of Penny.

  “Go ahead. Open it,” I encourage her.

  She reaches inside and pulls out the jar with the pink heart on the front. “Sw…swee…sweer. J…jaaa…rrr… jar. Sweer jar.” She tries to pronounce the words on the heart.

  “Good job with your sounds, LP! Swear jar,” I tell her with a grin. “You know how you are always yelling at us about saying bad words?” I ask her and she nods. “Well, your momma used to keep one of these. She’d make us pay every time we said a bad word. I thought it was time to get back to that tradition. Every time you catch any of us saying bad words, we’ll have to pay your jar.”

  “How much money?” she asks excitedly.

  “That’s up to you.”

  “A dollar!” She wastes no time answering.

  I chuckle and Tatum rolls her eyes. We both know we’re gon
na go broke. “Fair enough, LP.”

  “Do I get to keep the money, or will I have to give it back?” she asks.

  I shake my head. “Nope. That’ll be your money to keep and spend as you want.”

  “This is so not fair,” Tatum grumbles. “Thanks for this, Trav.”

  “Don’t even try to sit there and say you didn’t make a fortune off of me and Ollie when you were little!” I accuse her. She gives a small purse-lipped grin and shrugs. Brat.

  * * *

  I snuck out of the house for a little bit tonight. It’s nice out, and I needed a little time to myself. I don’t get it often. I sit down on Josie’s bench at the pond.

  Looking up into the stars of the night sky, I smile big and wide for the first time in a long time. “You’ll never believe what your fucking kids did.” I laugh, shaking my head, still in disbelief. “They named the garage. Pretty Girl Garage, after you, the original.”

  I still can’t believe they did that. I was so floored when Ollie and Tatum showed me the sign they had made. It was so much more than anything I could have imagined. And it was perfect.

  “Yep, named it and had signs made and everything. No longer the nameless garage. I know, I know. You always told me to name it, but I never could think of anything good, and Roger never called it anything other than the garage.” I huff a laugh thinking about it. “But they knew exactly the right thing. It suits the place too. Tatum is already ordering new business cards and everything. I had to stop her from getting throw pillows made, but I couldn’t resist getting new employee shirts.

  “I wish you could have seen it with me, but I’m glad you got to see it from where you are. Hell, you probably got the better view.” I pause and think about that.

  “I still miss you every day. That ain’t changing anytime soon, but I’m doing OK. We’re doing OK.”

  I finish the ice cream I picked up on my way and stand to leave. “I love you, pretty girl.” I turn toward my truck and a gust of wind swirls around me, and it feels like it’s Josie giving me a hug. “Always.”