Always Series Box Set

by Becs, Lindsay

  The race season for Penny is almost finished, which means she’ll be back home in Graves and under my roof again soon. I miss my little girl, even if she isn’t so little anymore.

  But. I also have to admit that days like today, when Tilly and I can lie in bed together and not have to worry about anyone walking in or seeing us are pretty great. We’ve found a good routine with each other, but soon it’ll all be over and we’ll be back to sneaking around.

  As much as I don’t like sneaking around with Tilly and hiding what we have from everyone, I’m not ready to hear what they’ll say about it. I like when it’s just us in the nice little cocoon we’ve formed together.

  I feel wetness on my chest where Tilly’s head is resting as we lie here in silence, listening to the rain outside.

  “Cookie, you alright?” I ask, grabbing her chin to tilt her face up so I can look at her. When I do, I see the tears swimming there. “What’s wrong?”

  She buries her face in her hands, leaning back down against my chest. Sobs fall from her, making her sound like she’s in anguish, and I hate that I don’t know what’s wrong or how to help her right now.

  I run my hands up and down her back and arms, trying to soothe her as best I can, letting her cry as much as she needs to, hoping that it isn’t anything I did. I’d never want to hurt her in any way, and maybe all the hiding is catching up to her and she doesn’t want this anymore.

  When my thoughts are at the worst possible scenario, she sits up and smooths back her hair, wiping the tears from her face. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, sounding embarrassed.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. Talk to me,” I urge, pulling her back to me so I can wrap my arms around her.

  “Today, my baby would be thirty years old. Can you believe that? I’d have a full-blown adult child. I’d have a son the same age as Tatum. Maybe have grandkids by now. Maybe more, if you count the children who could have come from that single life. I let it go all so selfishly. How could I do that?” she asks on a mournful whisper.

  I press a kiss to her head and hug her tighter, knowing she needs to feel loved and cared for right now.

  “I can’t begin to understand everything you were feeling that day,” I start, and she tenses in my arms. “But, look at the second chance you got with Jesse. He doesn’t look much like you, so if you and your sister looked alike, I have to think he looks like his father. You’ve treated him as your own since the day he got here. I’m sure that was hard at times to look at him and wonder what his brother would look like or act like. You could have been angry and taken all of your hurt and pain and resentment out on him, but you didn’t. You chose to love him and care for him and raise him to be an incredible man. You can’t change the past, but you can look to the future. You can see where life will take Jesse. Watch him as he serves his country, marries, becomes a father, provides for his family as a respectable man because you taught him how. That’s what you should be focusing on. Not the ugliness of the past that can’t be changed.”

  She shifts to look at me, tears still shining in her eyes, but she doesn’t look so pained now. “Thank you.”

  My lips find hers and I kiss her, wanting to take any more pain that might still be weighing on her. I want to swallow it all down and hold it inside so she doesn’t feel that anymore.

  “I love you,” she whispers across my lips. I freeze, not knowing what to say. “You don’t have to say anything, but I can’t hold it in anymore.” She sits up further and looks deep into my eyes until I feel her reaching inside me and grabbing my heart. “I love you, Travis.”

  Pulling her into me again, I crash my lips to hers. I show her how I feel about her in the only way I know how right now. Responding to her words the only way my mind and body will allow.

  What started as a soft and seductive kiss quickly turns deep and passionate. My whole body is on fire from her words and how they impacted me. Flipping her to her back, I lay over her and devour every part of her skin with my lips, hoping she understands what each kiss represents. That each press of my lips is one closer to me admitting my love for her.

  I start to make love to Tilly. As much as I wish I could say those words back to her, I just can’t. Not yet. No matter how much I care about her. And I do. So, I make love to her. This time it isn’t just sex. It’s not fucking. It’s more than the sexual tension between us being fulfilled. No, this time, I love her body and hope it reaches into her heart and soul and shows her. I hope she understands what I’m telling her without words.

  TILLY

  Minutes After Travis Makes Love to Me

  I knew telling Travis I loved him would change things. I wasn’t lying when I told him I didn’t expect him to say it back to me. I know each change in our relationship is hard for him. What he told me without words was better. He made love to me, and I felt every ounce of his love pour out of him.

  Travis Gellar has loved me longer than he’ll ever admit, but I’d wait an eternity to hear those words leave his lips. In the meantime, I’ll let him tell me any way he’s able to because it still feels like more than I deserve.

  TRAVIS

  Each year that Tilly and I get closer, things shift and change. Not just between us, but inside me. With how I view my life now without Josie, with how I picture my future, with making a life with someone else. I don’t know how. But I know I’m getting closer and closer to being ready to give Tilly all of me.

  I chuckle to myself when I pull out a letter I’ve been dreading and have put off reading for a while. “Get Jiggy Wit It” is written on the unopened envelope. It’s a strange thing to read words from your wife telling you to get it on with another woman. I’ve avoided this letter since Tilly and I first started sleeping together. I couldn’t bring myself to read it, but now, after the other day of making love to Cookie, it’s time.

  Please tell me you’re singing Will Smith right now! If you aren’t, it’s a good thing I’m not there because I’d pummel your cute ass!

  OK, now are you?

  Travis! Sing the damn song!

  I laugh and put the paper down and start singing the stupid song, or at least the little bit of it I know. “Fuck, Josie, what are you doing to me, pretty girl?” I ask the empty room, laying my head back with a smile before I keep reading.

  Thank you! Now, we can continue…

  So, since you’re reading this, I’m guessing you are either about to or already have. (Bleh! I just puked a little in my mouth.) I know you’re probably missing me and all my jiggly bits. I mean, how could you not? BUT, I’m glad you’re getting some. Whoever she is, she’s pretty lucky too, because you are exceptional. Just saying.

  If you thought this was going to be me giving your pointers, you are greatly mistaken. What I am going to say is, go forth and prosper. Gosh, this is weird… Maybe I’ll throw this one out… You’re hot and young and a man and can fuck like a lion. Go do it! Literally. No shame, baby. Go get yours!

  Always (But don’t get yours too much. Don’t make it weird, Trav.),

  Josie

  PS I might have taken extra pain meds before writing this one. Can you tell? Love you, baby.

  I look up at the ceiling and laugh. That woman… Yes, it was weird to read all that from her, but I wouldn’t expect anything less. That just was Josie.

  * * *

  “Hey, Dad, I’m staying at Jesse’s tonight with Bear.” Penny swings into my office to tell me on her way out for the day.

  It’s been nice having her back at Pretty Girl working with me again. I missed her more than I thought. And truth be told, she’s a better mechanic than most of the other guys I have employed here.

  “You’re staying there a lot lately, LP. Should I be concerned? Do I smell that bad or something?”

  “No,” she laughs. “It just feels like it’s time I’m on my own. Especially after being gone and coming home. I love you, Daddy, but I’m an adult and I do know how to take care of myself.”

  “But what about me? I can’t ta
ke care of myself.”

  “I’m sure Tilly can help,” she teases, not knowing how much I’d like Tilly to help take care of me.

  In the month that Penny’s been back, Tilly and I have hardly spent any real time together. Always afraid we’ll get caught but if she’s going to be at Jesse’s tonight…

  “You alright?” Penny asks me. I forgot she was still here as my mind started to wander to Tilly.

  “Yeah, I’m good. Go.”

  Once Penny leaves, I make quick work of finishing up for the day and closing the garage. Dirty and smelly, I go straight to Tilly’s house, not bothering to shower first. I’ll shower with her.

  “Tilly?” I yell, walking into her house without knocking.

  “I’m up here,” she says from her room. I take the stairs two at a time to get to her as fast as I can. Man, I’ve missed her.

  Once I’m standing in her doorway, I pause to take her in. She’s on her bed, glasses on, hair piled on her head, legs bare and only wearing a tank and underwear.

  She smirks when she sees my eyes scanning over her. Crooking a finger, she beckons me to her. I lose my boots and shirt by the time I’m standing in front of her on her knees on the bed before me.

  “I’ve missed you,” I tell her right before my lips find hers. I pull back from kissing her sooner than I’d like, but I know I need a shower. “Come shower with me.”

  “You do stink,” she agrees with a scrunched nose.

  I smack her ass and grip the cheek in my hand, pulling her into me further. “Better watch it or I’ll dirty you before I clean up.”

  “That doesn’t sound terrible,” she says, pulling off her shirt. Her hands go to my belt next, and in seconds, her hands are on me and my pants are down around my thighs.

  She smiles up at me with mischief and then dips her head to suck me into her mouth. I let out a growl and close my eyes at how good it feels to have her lips around me. I should pull back and clean up before letting her do this after a day at work. But then again, she started it, and who am I to deny her what she wants?

  Her mouth sinks further down my cock, and it has me on edge. “Fuck, Cookie,” I groan as my fingers go into her hair. I’m already getting close, but I don’t want to come this way. I pull from her mouth and step out of my pants. “You are a dirty girl,” I tell her when I see the wet spot on her underwear between her legs.

  “Take ‘em off and come ride me,” I insist, climbing on the bed next to her. I’m running a hand up and down my shaft when she straddles me, edging up my legs. She takes my hand from my cock and puts it on her breast. We both groan together when she sinks down on me. Messaging her pretty tits with my hands, I roll and pinch her pink nipples between my fingers, turning her on more.

  Her back arches when she braces her hands behind her on my thighs, sliding up and down on me. I press my thumb to her bundle of nerves, and it makes her detonate in pleasure. Before she’s fully come off her high, I have her flipped to her back, thrusting in and out of her in rapid speed, chasing my own release. Seconds later, it hits like a streak of lightning up my spine.

  Falling next to her on the bed, I turn to look at her, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Hi.”

  She laughs before answering back. “Hi. How was your day?”

  “It was alright, but it ended spectacularly.” I smirk, giving her another kiss. “Come on, now I really need a shower and so do you.”

  “You saying I smell bad?” she sasses but stands to walk to the bathroom.

  “You smell like a delicious mix of sugar and sex and me,” I tell her, kissing her once again because it’s never enough once I start.

  Tilly and I spend the night cuddling and watching a movie after dinner. It shows me how much I really have missed spending time with her and it was more than just about the sex. I missed seeing her.

  We fall asleep together, and it feels like what’s been missing in my life for too long. It may have only been a month since we did this last, but tonight, it feels like more. She’s been here all along, yet I’m just now realizing how much I’ve needed her this entire time.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Travis

  Seventeen Years After Josie

  Today is one of those days when I’m lost in my memories and in my head. Thinking about the early days with Josie when we’d laugh and laugh until our stomachs hurt. Or Penny when she was little, dragging that stuffed pig around with her. The first time she asked me where her momma went and I had no idea how to explain it to her. Dancing with her at the pond as we talked about Josie. The first time she changed the oil in a car by herself or how excited she was the first time she rebuilt an engine. Seeing her light up when Jesse would enter the garage. Hearing them laugh through her bedroom door late at night, but ignoring it, knowing it was what they both needed.

  So many things. Yet, in it all, I see Tilly always in the background. Baking cookies, helping with holiday meals, showing my daughter the girlie things I had no idea about when Tatum was gone, or being there to talk to when I needed it.

  I don’t know what I’d have done all these years had she not been there. Had she not moved in next door, disrupting the peaceful life I thought I wanted alone with my LP.

  “Hey,” Tilly’s voice pulls me from the thoughts I’m drowning in tonight.

  Smiling, I turn my head toward her. “Hey.”

  “I made you your favorite,” she says, handing me a plateful of her signature cookies. The ones she made for us when she first moved in.

  I look up at her face, soft and serene in the light of the night sky, her curls framing her big brown eyes that shine from her smile.

  Standing up, I lock eyes with her, sliding my fingers into her soft curls. “I love you, Tilly.” The words whisper across her lips before I kiss her as soft and sweet as the feelings I have for her.

  “Travis,” she gasps into my mouth, letting me absorb her surprise to show her it’s true.

  Pulling back, I rest my forehead against hers. “It’s true, Cookie. I love you. I know it’s taken me longer than it should have to admit it, to say it, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”

  “I love you, too,” she says so quietly I almost miss it.

  “Thank you for being so patient with me.”

  “When you love someone, you wait as long as it takes.”

  My smile grows looking into her beautiful face. The face of the woman I love. The one that I’m ready to commit to.

  “I want to be with you. Really with you, but I’m still so damn scared,” I admit to her.

  “We don’t have to go public yet. We’ve been pretty good at this sneaking around stuff for a while now, Travis. In fact, it’s kind of arousing at times.” She smirks at me. “We can wait to tell everyone if you want. When it’s right, we’ll know. Until then, I’m happy just knowing that you love me.” She wraps her arms around my middle, looking up at me.

  “I don’t know what I did to deserve having you dropped into my life, but thank you for not pushing and being exactly what I need.”

  She pecks my lips and steps back. “Now, I need to go finish some things for work—I’m designing a wedding cake for a couple—but I’m glad we got this all sorted. I knew you’d come around,” she chuckles, swaying her hips as she walks back to her house.

  I release a growl and stalk to her, pulling her back to my front and kissing the space between her neck and shoulder. “I love you,” I say again into her ear, making her hum before I swat her ass and pull away. “Night, Cookie.”

  Heading inside, I decide it’s time to read one of the few letters I have left. One I’ve been pondering all week. “You Fell In Love Again” stares back at me written in my wife’s handwriting. I rub my chest where it aches from this realization, the truth from those words. I will always love Josie, but it’s alright for me to love Tilly too.

  Letting out a nervous breath, I open the letter.

  Travis,

  Are you happy, Trav? That is all that matters to me in this whole w
orld. I want nothing but happiness for you and my children.

  You did what I told you to do last night at the pond where we danced in the snow. You opened your heart to another. Feeling your love is unlike anything else. Your love is loyal and strong, fierce and passionate, sweet and soft, and something that you don’t give to others easily.

  I’m glad you found another to share that special love with. Love her more than you loved me. Love her like she’s already gone. Love her with every beat of your heart and then some. Love her for always and forever. Love her for eternity.

  That’s how I love you, and it has been the best thing I ever did.

  Always,

  Josie

  I let out another shaky breath as tears sting my eyes. This woman who I loved so unconditionally and wholly is giving me the freedom to let go and love another more than I loved her. I don’t even know if it’s possible, but I’ll try.

  The love I feel for Tilly is big and strong and growing. Having admitted it not only to her but to myself, as well, has only made it that much more. She found her way into my heart when I thought I had it locked up, and now I feel it beat again. I feel it beat for her.

  I feel my heart yearn for my pretty girl, but it seeks out my cookie. Both great and consuming. Both saving me in different ways, fueling me in life and love. Josie has been my world for a long time, but Tilly is my now and my future.

  TILLY

  Minutes After Travis Told Me He Loved Me

  I thought my heart was going to burst through my chest hearing those three words, eight letters, from Travis. I’ve waited for what seems like a lifetime to hear him say it and feel it. Those words washed over me and made me feel anew. I couldn’t stay outside with him any longer, needing time to let it all soak in.