Love Letters: A Rose Harbor Novel

by Debbie Macomber

  Roy walked away from the truck. “It wasn’t like that with Maggie.”

  “Oh sorry, I assumed, you know, that she was running around on you behind your back.”

  “Not really,” Roy murmured, and then seemed to gather his resolve, “but some things can be forgiven and others can’t. To be fair to Maggie, it wasn’t all one-sided …”

  “You’re right again,” Mark said. “There are certain aspects to marriage vows that a man can’t easily overlook or forgive, even if he’s looked at another woman a time or two himself.”

  “Don’t misunderstand me,” Roy said, his hands deep inside his pockets. “I’ve made my share of mistakes.”

  “Of course you have, we all have, but nothing as bad as what Maggie did.”

  “Right,” Roy returned, but without the same conviction he’d had earlier.

  “The thing I’ve noticed with women,” Mark continued, speaking again as if he were an expert on the subject, “is that it isn’t in females to forgive. They might claim they have, but with every disagreement, every slight we’ve ever committed gets thrown back in our faces. A woman can drag up sins that are twenty years old. Forgiveness isn’t part of their emotional makeup.”

  Roy looked away and then commented, “Maggie’s never been like that.”

  “You’re joking?”

  “No,” Roy murmured. He started to pace, although I realized he probably wasn’t aware of what he was doing.

  “No problem, man,” Mark said. “Your mind is made up. You know what to do, so good for you. From what I read, statistics say it’s women who most often file for divorce, not the husbands. You’re making a stand and you aren’t going to allow Maggie to push you around.”

  “That’s not her way,” Roy murmured.

  “Oh, she’s one of those subtle types, is she? You know, the passive-aggressive kind. She cooks you dinner, but it’s cold; does your wash and puts your underwear in with the colored clothes so they come out red.”

  Roy looked up at Mark as though he’d spoken a foreign language.

  “Let another man deal with her and all her baggage,” Mark suggested.

  “Another man?” Roy repeated, as if this was something else he hadn’t considered.

  “Well, sure. Like I said, there are a lot of fish in the sea. You’ll eventually remarry, and in every likelihood, so will Maggie.”

  I watched as Roy abruptly stopped pacing as if the truth of what Mark said jolted him.

  “If you’re going to let her keep custody of your sons, it will take some getting used to when there’s another man in the house. Not all stepdads make decent fathers.”

  Roy started across the lawn, heading back to his vehicle.

  “Where are you going?” Mark asked.

  Roy shook his head as though he didn’t want to answer. He opened the car door and looked back over his shoulder. “I’m going to find Maggie,” he said. “I’m not fooled. I know what you’re doing. You’re making me look at the idea of getting a divorce in ways I didn’t want to see. You’re right, though. Maggie and I need to work this out. I don’t want to lose my wife, and I don’t want my sons being raised by another man.”

  Mark joined him and gently slapped Roy across the back. “Some things are easier to forgive than others, just like you said, but it takes a big man to forgive a bigger offense. Find your wife, Roy, and do what you can to hold your marriage together.”

  “That’s exactly what I plan to do.”

  Once more Mark patted his back. Roy climbed into the car and drove off, and this time there was no spitting gravel.

  I waited until Roy had disappeared from the driveway before I stepped out from the side of the house. Mark’s gaze met mine.

  “You handled that well,” I told him.

  He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “Sometimes all anyone needs is a little guidance.”

  “Anyone do that for you?” I asked.

  He sighed and slowly shook his head. “Are we back to that again?” he asked, as if growing impatient with me.

  “Actually, no.”

  “No?”

  “No,” I repeated. “Roy isn’t the only one who took your advice. I did, too.”

  Mark went still, and his gaze rushed back to me. “You read Paul’s letter?”

  I nodded. “It was a beautiful love letter …” I found it impossible to add more. The things my husband had written were strictly for me and me alone. My throat started to close up. I wasn’t about to get emotional in front of Mark. “You don’t need to worry, I won’t be hounding you for any more of your secrets.”

  “Good to know … not that I have any secrets.”

  “Right,” I murmured mockingly.

  Mark’s gaze went to the flowers in my wicker basket.

  “For dinner with my family tomorrow afternoon. I thought I’d put together a bouquet for the centerpiece. The hydrangeas are really lovely this year.” I had both pink and purple blooms.

  “If you want, I’ll fertilize them for you later in the season.”

  “No need; I can do it.” My budget was limited, and I wasn’t willing to pay for anything I could do myself.

  Mark seemed to read my mind. “I didn’t plan on charging you.”

  “In other words, you’re willing to work in the yard out of the goodness of your heart?” For a long time, I wasn’t convinced Mark had a heart.

  “Not exactly.”

  “Ah, the truth comes out,” I said, having trouble holding back a smile.

  “I figure I owe you for all the cookies and meals you feed me.”

  “Good point, in which case feel free to work in my yard anytime you want.” As far as I was concerned, it was a good deal all the way around.

  I headed to the house and paused on the top step and turned back to Mark. He stood where he was, watching me. “Thanks again,” I said, “for talking sense into Roy.” And then I did the oddest thing.

  I blew Mark a kiss.

  Chapter 30

  Ellie’s heart beat so frantically it felt as if it had grown too big for her chest. Even now, as she parked in front of Tom’s house, she wasn’t sure coming to him was the right thing to do. Furthermore, she wasn’t entirely sure she was ready to forgive him, despite the excuses and justifications Scott had mentioned.

  It was the look in her mother’s eyes that had convinced her she needed to do this. The message was familiar, and Ellie could read it easily: Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Only this time it wasn’t a warning not to trust men or to give her heart away. Instead, it was encouragement to be willing to do exactly the opposite, to fall in love, find joy, and be happy. To say Ellie was confused would be grossly understating the facts.

  For a long time all she did was sit in the vehicle, nervous and unsure, toying with her options, the most appealing of which was to start the engine and drive off. Even now she wasn’t sure what she would say to Tom. Thinking it was a lost cause, she inserted the key and started the car, intent on leaving, but then just as quickly changed her mind and turned it off.

  Her hand remained on the keychain when she saw Tom. He must have noticed her car out front because he stepped onto the porch. He stood there with his hands tucked inside his back jeans pockets, elbows jutting out while he waited. His gaze seemed to focus directly on her.

  If he hadn’t moved outside, Ellie might have given up and driven off. Confronting him wouldn’t be easy, but realizing that he’d seen her, she felt compelled to act, to do something. Filled with equal parts of dread and anticipation, she got out of the car and stood next to the driver’s side for several tense moments. Neither of them moved.

  Tom continued to stand exactly where he was on the porch, all the while watching her. With her mother’s car as a barrier between them, Ellie felt more secure. She willed him to make the first move.

  He didn’t.

  The look he wore reminded her that she’d claimed she never wanted to see him again. The first move had to come from her. Ellie could be stubborn, too
, but pride hadn’t helped her father or mother, and it wouldn’t solve matters for her, either.

  “My dad … Scott came to the inn,” she said, slowly moving around the car while keeping her hand on the hood as if she needed it to guide her. “He and my mother are still there … they’re talking.”

  “Your mother?”

  Ellie nodded. “She came by … she was in the area.” No need to explain further.

  “How’s it going with the two of them?”

  “Good, I think. They discovered that they’d written love letters to each other after they separated that neither of them ever received.”

  Tom walked down the three steps leading to the concrete walkway. Ellie stepped away from the curb. They met halfway between the house and the car, and while it was a short distance, Ellie felt like each one of those steps was a mile in length. She walked with the care of a soldier traversing a minefield.

  “Did you get a chance to have Dad answer any more of your questions?” Tom asked.

  “A few.”

  “He always loved you, Ellie, always, but he was afraid you’d been brainwashed against him.”

  Tom said that as if it explained everything, only it didn’t. “He could have at least tried.”

  “You’re right, but the fact is, your father has a lot of baggage from his first marriage.”

  “We all have baggage,” Ellie argued.

  “But some more than others. The longer one drags it around, the heavier it seems. I’m hoping you’re willing to look past that disappointment and appreciate how hard it was for him to meet you, knowing that you might possibly hate him.”

  Ellie didn’t see it like that. It seemed wrong to hear Tom defend her father, but then she realized Scott was a safe subject. Discussing the older man’s fears and doubts made it easier to avoid talking about their own troubles. Ellie found it interesting that her father had defended Tom. It hurt that Tom had such a strong relationship with him and she didn’t.

  “Can we not talk about my father?” she asked.

  Tom agreed. “Fine by me.”

  Silence followed, as though they were each afraid to venture beyond to anything else. Finally, Ellie couldn’t bear the tension any longer. “You hurt me,” she whispered. “You took my feelings for you and used them for your own selfish purposes.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry.” He didn’t deny it, didn’t make excuses.

  “Sorry,” she repeated slowly, thinking it was such a weak, insipid word.

  “I take that back.” He stood directly in front of her now. They were both on the sidewalk, facing each other. Tom reached out and gripped her shoulders.

  “You’re taking back your apology?” She tried to break his hold, but he wouldn’t let her go.

  “I don’t regret contacting you, reaching out to you. Okay, you’re right, my original purposes were less than stellar. My intent was to introduce you to the father you’d never known in a casual, nonthreatening way. I assumed that after the first few days I’d nonchalantly mention I happened to be Scott’s stepson and let the conversation go from there.”

  “Why didn’t you?” The words were more accusation than question.

  “Because I was afraid that once I told you who I was that you would block my name and I wouldn’t be able to talk to you again. It was a risk, but one I was willing to take for my dad’s sake, and for yours, too.”

  Although privately Ellie was pleased, she felt obliged to say, “That’s not a good excuse.”

  “Maybe not,” he agreed, with some reluctance, his eyes pleading with hers for understanding. “But, Ellie, I found it increasingly important to keep you in my life.”

  Ellie had felt the same way, too, although she wasn’t overly keen to admit it. Hearing from Tom each day had become progressively more important as their friendship developed. By the time they’d moved on to emails and phone calls, she was half in love with him.

  “You have to remember my intentions were good,” he said, as if that was enough to wipe out all the hurt this entire mess had caused her.

  “No, they weren’t. You used me …”

  “You had a right to know your father,” Tom argued. “A right to know that he loved you and regretted the past. It didn’t take me long to realize that you’d been fed nothing but lies about the man I’d only known to be decent and good and honorable.”

  “My mother was looking to protect me.”

  “By keeping your father out of your life?” he demanded.

  “She … I think it was a matter of several unfortunate incidents that kept them apart.”

  “I didn’t want that to happen to us, Ellie. You have every right to be upset with me; I understand that. But look at it from my point of view. I wanted to bring a father and daughter together. Yes, I made mistakes, and yes, I was insensitive to you both, but I couldn’t think of any other way to go about it.”

  “I wish you’d been honest with me from the first.”

  “Would you have let me in your life if I had?” he asked.

  That was the real question, and one Ellie wasn’t sure she could answer. “I … I don’t know.” She’d like to think she would have welcomed the opportunity to meet her father, but she couldn’t be certain, couldn’t be sure. Besides, if Scott had wanted to be part of her life, wouldn’t he have reached out of his own accord instead of letting his stepson do it for him?

  “That’s just it,” Tom went on to say. “I didn’t want to take the chance of losing you, and then I realized by going about it the way I did I’d basically guaranteed that once you discovered the truth I was in a no-win situation. That’s why I asked you to trust me, no matter what happened this weekend.”

  “If Scott hadn’t come to the inn, you would have,” she whispered. She’d been angry and determined, and even now she wasn’t completely sold that she should let Tom back into her life again.

  Exhaling slowly, Tom leaned his forehead against hers. “Tell me you’re here because you’re willing to give me another chance.”

  “I’m here because my parents urged me to talk to you.” As of right this moment, Ellie wasn’t sure of anything. Then it hit her. As she said parents, she realized that this was the first time in her life that she’d ever referred to her mother and father as parents, her parents, because they were together and in agreement with each other.

  “I’m glad you’re here, no matter what the reason,” he whispered, and ran his hands down the length of her arms. “More glad than you know, and I promise if you give me a second chance I won’t blow it.”

  The warmth of his touch chased away the chill that had come over her from that morning on the water and all that had happened afterward.

  “The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. If you believe nothing else, believe that.”

  “My father said basically the same thing,” she confessed, with a sigh, and accepted that loving someone left her heart open and vulnerable to hurt and to so much more, including love and joy. “I do want my father in my life, and I believe he wants to get to know me, too.”

  Tom kissed her forehead and then her nose and the curve of her chin before asking, “What about me … in your life?”

  His kiss made it difficult to think clearly, especially as he eased his way toward her lips. “That has yet to be determined,” she whispered suggestively.

  He settled his mouth over hers in a lingering kiss that left her weak in the knees. “Does that help you decide?” he asked.

  “I … it helps.”

  “Good,” he whispered, and kissed her again, with even more intensity. Ellie clung to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and standing on her tiptoes as she felt her heart opening up to him.

  When they ended the kiss they were both breathing hard.

  Still, there were things Ellie had to know. “What would you have done if I hadn’t driven here to talk to you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

  “I don’t know, but I can tell you this—I wouldn’t have left
matters as they were. You’re too important to me to let you walk away without putting up a fight.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  Ellie sighed and felt herself weakening. She was being drawn into his arms, and it felt as if this was exactly the place she was meant to be. It would be too hard to live without him now.

  “Are you willing to give me another chance?” Tom asked, drawing back enough to be able to look her in the eye.

  “That depends on if you have any more surprises to throw at me.” She held his gaze, willing him to level with her.

  “Some women like being surprised.”

  “I’m not some women, I’m me.”

  “Okay, no more surprises.”

  Ellie laughed and, looping her arms around his middle and pressing her face against his chest, said, “Then we’re in business.”

  Tom laughed, too, and hugged her close for a long time. He released her but reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers. “I think both your mother and Scott would like it if we stopped by the B-and-B.”

  “You mean … now?”

  “No time like the present,” Tom suggested, keeping her close to his side. “And later you can tell me more about the love letters they wrote to each other that you mentioned a bit ago.”

  “Okay.”

  Ellie’s mood lightened considerably as they drove in separate cars back to Rose Harbor Inn. Standing outside the inn, she filled Tom in on the letters and what each of her parents had learned about the other.

  “It seems your grandparents have a lot to answer for,” Tom said when she’d finished.

  Ellie agreed, but at the same time she understood that they, too, had been motivated by good intentions. “I believe my grandparents assumed Mom would marry again. They had someone else in mind, but it never panned out.”

  “Why not?”

  Ellie had never been sure until now. “She was in love with my father. At one point she swallowed her pride and went to him, but it was too late. He’d already married your mother.”