“You’re too good, El,” he said. “Do you know how many times I’ve told you that?”
Elaine forced a smile. “No,” she told him sadly. “I’m afraid I don’t.”
An awkward silence fell between them, at that. Eventually, Liam cleared his throat. “I won’t impose for too long. All I need from you is my name. Maybe it will be enough, and maybe it won’t. But it’s worth a try.”
Elaine hesitated. She searched her memories, looking for the thing he wanted. But all that came to mind was Liam. The rest, whatever came after, was a ragged black hole in her mind. “I’m afraid that’s complicated,” she said. “I don’t remember the whole thing.”
Liam flinched at the revelation, and Elaine felt a spike of guilt. “Maybe I can get it back,” she added quickly. “I’ve never really tried to remember anything else about Arcadia.”
He was silent for a moment. “…I suppose the obvious option is off the table,” he said.
“I’m not going back,” Elaine said. “I know it’s the easiest way to remember everything. But you can’t ask that of me.”
Liam let out a long breath. “No,” he said. “I can’t.” His cold blue eyes became inscrutable again. He rose smoothly to his feet, and offered out a hand. “We’ll talk more about this tomorrow. You look exhausted, El.”
Elaine took his hand gingerly. The warmth in his fingers sent a strange feeling through her — a terrible longing, with no concrete memory attached to explain it.
She wanted to burrow herself into his arms. She knew he would let her do it. She suspected it was a very bad idea.
“…I think I missed you,” Elaine admitted quietly. She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes.
Liam reached up to brush those warm fingers across her cheek. She was struck by a sudden sense of déjà vu.
“I missed you too, El,” he said.
For a second, she thought he might say more. But whatever had been on his tongue, he seemed to think better of it. He dropped his hand again. A wry smile crossed his lips. “I think I’ll leave before my welcome expires. You should lock up after me.”
Chapter 4
Wet snow beneath her fingers. Everything white, cold, eternally frozen. The night closed in, stealing her breath, worming its way inside her. Her magic was distant, nearly inaccessible. There was no life allowed here.
There was a tall stone willow. Its weeping branches were carved from ice, a mockery of its living counterpart. It gave barely any shelter against the chill.
“Blackfrost isn’t just cold,” Liam said softly. “It’s a thief of warmth and life. It gets under your skin.”
The darkness, the dread, crept deep into her heart.
His arms closed around her. His heat soaked into her. She pressed her face into his neck, breathing in his scent. Blackfrost wouldn’t steal Liam’s warmth, no matter how bitterly cold it became.
“I won’t let it have you,” he promised.
Elaine woke up early and uneasy.
The loft still held a slight chill. It took her a moment to remember why. She spent a long time sitting in bed huddled beneath the covers, going back over the night’s events in her head.
The revelation that Arcadia wasn’t yet done with her had been a rude awakening. Liam might not have meant to do it, but he’d effectively painted her with a target by seeking her out. Faerie lords, mad and powerful, mostly kept to their own realms in Arcadia, enjoying their whimsies and politics… but when one of them finally took notice of something in the mortal world, others soon followed.
Elaine hadn’t always understood the nature of that chain reaction. Before her captivity, she’d freely wandered the Hedge: the lordless, transitory realm which connected the rest of Arcadia together. But fatefully, she had drawn the attention of the Lady of Briars, who had decided that Elaine would make a beautiful addition to her gardens. After weeks of terrified hiding, Elaine had received an offer from a different faerie lord entirely. Lord Blackfrost, the Lady’s longtime enemy, came to offer Elaine his protection against the Lady of Briars, in exchange for a pittance.
She should have known better than to accept. But he had been so convincingly sympathetic, so reasonable-sounding, and she had been so frightened of the prospect of an eternity in the Briars.
Had Elaine known what she knew today, she would have asked more carefully just what Lord Blackfrost’s protection entailed. Instead, she found out the hard way that the faerie lord intended to protect her from the Lady by locking her away in his realm and turning her into an eternal statue of ice. The Lifeless Garden had been his cruel joke against the Lady; a declaration that he had taken the thing she so coveted and put it in his own garden instead.
Now, the new Lord Blackfrost had declared that Elaine was under his protection. How long would it be before he ordered Liam to drag her back to her old prison? Surely, he had to be worried that another faerie lord might steal her away and pry those forgotten secrets from her mind.
Liam would never do that. The thought was instant and uncompromising. Whatever Blackfrost attempted to do with her, Liam wouldn’t be a part of imprisoning her again. He’d risked everything once before in order to help her escape.
But Liam was slowly becoming someone else. Someone I don’t like, he’d said.
Elaine owed him a great deal. But more than that, she realized, she needed Liam to retain his humanity if she wanted any chance of evading Arcadia’s machinations for a second time. In the entirety of that alien, emotionless world, Liam was her only true ally.
I need to remember his name. Elaine closed her eyes, searching again through her mind. Again, the emptiness of that hole in her memories stretched out before her, unyielding.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
It had required an inhuman effort just to retain those tiny flashes that she had. The memories were buried deep in her subconscious, locked away behind the same veil that made dreams fade when you awoke.
Elaine sighed in frustration. She kicked off the covers anxiously, searching out her clothing.
It was too early to open the shop. But it was never too early for gardening.
The tiny greenhouse on the roof was just large enough to keep the shop stocked, if Elaine was careful about her choices. She spent the morning harvesting new cuts, moving the fresh flowers downstairs. The work didn’t inspire any new ideas, but it was calming — and calm was something she very much needed.
Jenna met her at the shop around ten, yawning and sucking down coffee from a thermos. She raised an eyebrow at Elaine as she entered. “You look like hell,” she said. “Not so hot date?”
Elaine winced. “Last date,” she said. She paused. “Please don’t say I told you so. I’ve had a long night.”
Jenna gasped. When Elaine glanced over at her, she saw that her apprentice had pressed a delighted hand to her mouth. “Oh my god,” she said. “Tell me it’s so. You broke it off?”
Elaine grimaced, but she nodded slightly in confirmation.
Jenna tapped her fingers on the counter, impatient with excitement. “Did he make that shocked fish expression when you said it?”
Elaine blinked. “What… fish expression?”
Jenna grinned, unweaving a scarf from around her neck and searching out a shop apron. “You totally know what I’m talking about. That well, I never sort of face he makes when he doesn’t have a good comeback.”
Elaine closed her eyes and replayed the scene in her head. Sure enough, Adam’s mouth was hanging open very slightly, and his eyes were wide and staring, like a fish in a tank. She tried to stifle a laugh, but it trickled out in spite of her best efforts as she opened her eyes again. “Oh my god, you’re right. He did look like a fish.”
Jenna patted her on the shoulder. “You can do so much better than Fish-Face, Lainey. And just, by the way, that’s what I’m gonna call him from now on. He’s Fish-Face.” She widened her eyes behind her glasses and dropped her mouth exaggeratedly, as though to demonstrate. “Come on, you can see it! Imagine h
im in his little suit, with his little briefcase. Him and all his other fish-face executive friends, being outraged together.”
The tightness in Elaine’s chest loosened pleasantly. She sniffed away a few tears and smiled. “You’re being so awful right now,” she said. “But I love it.”
Jenna laughed, breaking her pantomime. “That jerk can survive one little girl making fun of him,” she said. “He sure made fun of you enough.”
Elaine’s smiled faded. “Well. Either way, it’s done with.” A new worry spread through her chest as she looked at Jenna. “That wasn’t the longest part of my night. I ran into some… unrelated trouble.”
Jenna’s joking demeanor dropped abruptly, replaced with concern. “What kind of trouble?” she asked. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Elaine assured her. “For now. But I think it might be best if you took some time off and stayed away from me for a bit. I don’t want you getting dragged into something dangerous.”
Jenna frowned, and Elaine knew before she even opened her mouth that her apprentice was about to say something stubborn.
“I mean that,” Elaine cut her off. “I have old debts to pay. They’re my debts, not yours. If you get caught up with these people, I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to extract you from it.”
Jenna pressed her lips together. “I don’t like the sound of that,” she said. “And I really don’t like the idea of leaving you to deal with it alone.”
Elaine intended to argue the matter further — but Jenna’s eyes fixed on something past her shoulder, and her apprentice’s eyebrows inched upward. “Hello,” Jenna mumbled, fanning herself lightly with her hand. “Is it just me, or is it suddenly warm in here?”
Elaine turned to follow her gaze — and froze. Liam had just made his way up to the glass door of the shop. He should have been less impossibly beautiful in the harsh light of day… but he wasn’t.
No wonder Elaine had been so convinced that the man in her dreams wasn’t real. Cold, dark, and refined, Liam looked as though he’d stepped straight out of a daydream. Even the casual long sleeve and jeans he currently wore couldn’t manage to make him look mundane. At least, Elaine thought, he had bothered to put on a long coat and a loose scarf more fitting to the weather. He hadn’t tied the scarf, of course — it was only a useless bit of fabric to him, after all.
“Don’t,” Elaine muttered at Jenna warningly. “Don’t even think about it. It’s bad enough I’m involved with him already.”
Liam had paused at the door to consider the wards, with his hands politely tucked behind his back. Since she’d shown him the way to the shop, the part of her wards that hid it from supernatural view would never work on him again — but his invitation past the more defensive aspects of her magic had expired.
Elaine headed for the door, buttoning up her cardigan. Jenna followed her there, openly curious, but Elaine knew that trying to warn her off was probably a losing proposition. She opened the door, and considered the warlock in front of her. “You have an invitation into my home and business for the next hour,” she said succinctly.
Liam’s lips twitched. “I’m wounded, El,” he said, though his tone was teasing. He stepped into the shop. The moment he did, the temperature inside dropped noticeably.
As the door closed behind him, Jenna sucked in her breath. Elaine glanced toward her, and saw that her apprentice had gone pale. All suggestion of flirtation had fled from her behavior.
“Warlock,” Jenna whispered. The horrified expression on her face wouldn’t have looked out of place if she’d been confronted by a monster out of a slasher film.
Liam raised an eyebrow her way. “I don’t think I’ve met you, have I?” he said, as though Jenna had introduced herself with perfect politeness. His eyes flickered down to note the apron that she wore.
“You haven’t,” Elaine told him. “I think it’s best things stay that way, if you don’t mind.”
Jenna’s back stiffened. “What do you want?” she asked Liam sharply.
Liam smiled wryly. He leaned in very slightly toward Elaine’s apprentice, as though preparing to tell her a secret. Jenna flinched. For a moment, Elaine thought she might step backward, but Jenna forced herself to stand her ground.
“I want…” he said softly. “…to steal your boss.”
“Like hell,” Jenna snarled. She reached up toward a silver necklace at her chest, and Elaine’s eyes widened. She grasped quickly at her apprentice’s wrist, holding her back. Elaine wasn’t perfectly-versed in Cancer magic, but she knew that whatever that talisman was, it wouldn’t do anything pleasant.
Liam smirked. “For the afternoon,” he clarified belatedly. The sly expression on his face suggested that he’d known exactly the reaction his words would elicit.
“Do you mind?” Elaine demanded, glaring in his direction. “I didn’t invite you inside to start a witch’s duel, you twit!”
Liam sighed. At the mention of her invitation, Elaine saw a flicker of mild remorse cross his face and then disappear. Faeries and their servants could and often did twist the terms of contracts to their benefit, but hospitality was still a serious matter. The extent to which you remained polite while under hospitality was a good measure of how much you respected the one who’d offered it.
“…my apologies,” he said. It was a reluctant concession, but it was something. He glanced toward Jenna. “El is under Lord Blackfrost’s protection. If anything, it’s my duty to ensure she stays safe. You have my word: I’ll see to her protection today. Does that make you feel any better?”
Jenna narrowed her eyes. “No,” she said flatly. But she didn’t elaborate any further, however much she clearly wanted to. She looked sideways at Elaine from behind her glasses. “You’re not seriously going with him?”
Elaine rubbed at her forehead. “I am,” she said. “I warned you. You should lock up and head home, Jenna. I’ll just stay closed today. We can talk about finding you a different job later.”
Jenna’s jaw tightened. Her body shivered — whether with rage or fear or both, Elaine couldn’t tell. She took one trembling step toward Liam, pressing one accusatory finger into his chest. “If you mess with her,” she said. “I swear to god, I will make you regret it.”
Liam glanced down at the finger in his chest. Amusement flashed through his cold blue eyes. “I would love to see you make the attempt,” he told her. “Truly. But it won’t be necessary, I assure you.”
Elaine grabbed her coat and caught Liam by the arm, before the situation could deteriorate any further. She headed for the door. “Go home, Jenna,” she emphasized, with a last look at her apprentice.
She didn’t wait to hear a response before stepping out into the cold, dragging the warlock behind her. Liam stumbled awkwardly behind her for a moment, given their height difference, but he quickly straightened himself as they paused on the doorstep of the shop. Elaine released him long enough to tug on her coat, already shivering in the winter air.
Liam plucked the coat from her hands, sliding it onto her arms for her. “Don’t you ever dress properly for the weather?” he muttered tightly.
Elaine shot him a surprised look. There was a dark look on Liam’s face, but it didn’t seem directed at her.
“I hate seeing you cold,” he had said.
“Look who’s talking,” she retorted. “At least you put on a coat this time.” She reached out to tie his scarf for him absently. “You still look like one of those schoolboys trying to prove how little they care about the cold.”
Liam caught her hand before she could retract it again. A reluctant smile edged across his face, and she was reminded just how warm he was, up close. “Thank you, I suppose. I didn’t realize dressing up was going to be such hard work.” He bowed his head to brush his lips over the back of her hand, and she flushed at the anachronistic gesture. “So. Where should we go? I don’t often have the chance to wander. I’d like to take advantage while I can.” He glanced up at her. “Somewhere… very different from
Blackfrost, if you don’t mind.”
Elaine curled her fingers around his before she could stop herself. She worried that her cheeks might have gone pink. “I know just the place,” she said.
The Allan Gardens were a leisurely bus ride away. The greenhouses there were an oasis of green in the middle of winter. Elaine had spent countless hours there since her return from Blackfrost; there was nothing more comforting to her sensibilities than the feeling of being so fully surrounded by living things.
Elaine steered them toward the southern Tropical House — as opposite a place from Blackfrost as she could imagine.
The place was relatively quiet and uninhabited at the moment, given the hour. Elaine settled onto a bench near the waterwheel in full view of the orchids, breathing in the heady smell of soil and flowers. In the silence of the greenhouse, even the soft sound of running water was loud enough to hear.
Out of the corner of her eye, Elaine noted Liam idly shedding his coat and rolling up his long sleeves.
Even his chill aura was dampened somewhat by the warm, humid air within the large greenhouse. Liam tried to hide it, but Elaine saw him glance around at the place with a strange mixture of awe and longing. She understood the sentiment. Blackfrost was so utterly barren; after years in a realm like that, walking into the Tropical House had felt like worshipping at a cathedral.
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Watching him was like experiencing the greenhouse for the first time all over again.
When Liam opened his eyes again, there was a troubled look behind them. “This is beautiful, El,” he said. She heard a hesitation in his voice, though, and she frowned.
“What is it?” she asked.
He shook his head. “It’s hard to explain. I can’t just… enjoy it. Some part of me wants to take it — make it mine, somehow.” He took in another deep, steadying breath. “Everything here is so delicate. One bad frost, and it would all be gone.”
Crown of Frost Page 4