Elaine swallowed. As troubled as he seemed, the words were too familiar. They reminded her, perhaps inevitably, of the faerie lord that had trapped her. He’d wanted to own her — not in any crude, human way, but in the way of a creature of eternal winter.
Liam rubbed his fingers against his palms. He tore the scarf absentmindedly from his neck, tossing it onto the bench next to her. He probably hadn’t even realized he was shedding layers again. Elaine made a mental note to pick it up before he left. “I’ve started to wonder if this was always who I was. Maybe it was there, deep down, and I never noticed it. I don’t know anymore. My memories don’t feel… reliable.”
The frustration in his voice hit a familiar chord inside her. He looked so worried and alone that she found herself pushing back to her feet, reaching out to take his hand. “I know exactly how that feels,” Elaine murmured. He glanced up at her, surprised at the touch. “I don’t think that’s who you were, though, Liam.”
His lips twisted into a wry smile. “You don’t know that,” he said. “You barely remember anything about me.”
Elaine pursed her lips. “You’re right,” she said. “I don’t. But I do know that someone as selfish as you’re describing would never have gone so far out of his way to help me.”
A tentative hope woke behind his eyes. Liam leaned forward to press his forehead against hers. Elaine’s breath froze in her chest. “I didn’t want you to leave,” he whispered. It sounded like a shameful admission. “Not at the end. You’re the only real friend I’ve ever had. But I… I still helped you go. That’s something, isn’t it?”
A knot formed in her throat.
Why did I leave him? she thought. How could I have left him there alone?
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
Liam laughed. It was a deeply pleasant sound. “I keep forgetting what a soft touch you are.” He brushed the hair back from her face, smiling ruefully. “I made my own bed. I got myself stuck in this mess. As awful as it is, I still can’t imagine how I might have made my choices any differently. And that’s hardly your fault.”
The knot in her throat refused to leave. Elaine tried to clear it away, glancing down. “I’m Canadian,” she said. “I default to apologies when I don’t know what else to say.”
“You should be more careful about that,” Liam teased her. “You’ve thanked me and apologized to me, all in one day. If I were less kind, I could claim that both of those implied a debt.” His thumb traced her cheek. A shiver that had nothing to do with cold slid down her spine. Elaine blinked, bewildered.
He was going to kiss her. She felt it in his touch. She saw it in his eyes.
She wanted him to kiss her.
It made no sense. It made all the sense in the world. There were great holes in her mind where he should have been, but the emotions that simmered just beneath the surface of her conscious mind had her suddenly tense, her muscles tight as a wire. In that moment, Elaine knew that she had spent more than five years waiting for that damned kiss.
His breath whispered across her cheek. “You’re in luck. I remain a deeply magnanimous soul.”
Liam pulled back from her, chuckling and shaking his head.
Elaine stood there, still reeling. The revelation was an abrupt slap to the face.
I have feelings for him. My god, I pined for him.
Liam raised an eyebrow at her. “El?” he said. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to rattle you.”
Elaine let out a long breath. “I’m fine.” She was far from fine. “Maybe I’m still tired.” She tried to set aside her shock, to refocus on the matter at hand. “You said you needed your name from me. I’ve only got half of it. Where does that leave us?”
He blinked at the abrupt change in subject — but he didn’t press her further. “I don’t know,” Liam said honestly. “I’ve never heard of anything restoring memories once Arcadia has taken them, except for returning. And we’re both agreed that you walking back into Arcadia is a bad idea.” He mulled over the subject. “I think… I still feel better. Maybe it’s the part of my name you still have. Maybe it’s just being around you again, being reminded of the past.”
Elaine’s heart still thudded a bit too hard in her chest. “…I can keep looking into it,” she said. “In the meantime, I… I don’t mind you coming by.”
A guarded expression shuttered his face. “You know as well as I do how dangerous that is,” Liam said.
“I know,” Elaine admitted softly. “I still mean it.”
Liam ran his fingers through his hair. The gesture made her want to reach out and straighten what he’d mussed. “I’m not going to say no,” he muttered. “I should say no. You’re going to regret this.”
Elaine shot him an irritated look. “In which case,” she said. “I’ll have made my own bed.”
Liam gave her a half-smile. “Touché,” he said. He offered out an arm then, with a gallant sort of air. “In which case… why don’t you show me some more flowers I shouldn’t touch?”
Elaine took his arm gingerly. The nearness of him did something to her now. Maybe it always had. “It would be my pleasure.”
Chapter 5
By the time they left the gardens, snow had just begun to fall again.
The sudden cold made Elaine tug her coat more closely about herself. As she glanced at Liam, she remembered belatedly that he had strewn his own coat and scarf behind him like so many discarded autumn leaves. He stood beside her in only that shirt and jeans, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. She laughed at the absurdity.
“I can’t take you anywhere,” she said.
Liam raised an eyebrow in her direction. She gave him a hint by tugging on the lapel of her coat, and he heaved a thoroughly put-upon sigh. “Fine,” he said. “If you insist.”
He turned back for the greenhouse, disappearing inside. He returned with his coat around his shoulders and his scarf in-hand. He eyed Elaine critically for a moment, before draping the scarf around her neck. “You may as well get some use out of it,” he said.
The knitted fabric was still warm from the greenhouse. More importantly, it smelled of sandalwood and evergreens. Elaine flushed as he wound it around her neck.
Liam stepped back, glancing her over. An easy smile crossed his lips, and her heart did a little flip in her chest. “It looks better on you anyway,” he said.
Elaine stifled a laugh. I very much doubt that, she thought. But she didn’t dare to say it aloud.
Liam had been so ethereal in the moonlight the evening before that she hadn’t thought he could be any more unearthly, any more outlandishly beautiful — but now he walked beside her in the falling snow with that purely contented smile on his face, and it was the most affecting thing she’d ever seen before.
A soft ping sounded from her pocket, breaking through her thoughts. A subtle sense of dread came with it. Elaine took a short breath before digging it out.
The dread briefly lessened when she saw it was from Jenna. But the message didn’t do much for her mood.
Adam came by. Told him to scram, but he’s hanging around outside. You want to stay at my place tonight?
Elaine felt her posture tighten. Liam glanced toward her, his eyes sharpening on her manner. “Problem?” he asked.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” Elaine replied.
I told you to go home, she texted back.
A little shrugging emoticon was her only reply.
“What are you, a teenager?” Elaine muttered darkly. She shoved her phone back into her pocket.
Liam didn’t bother to hide a grin. “Trouble with the kid?” he asked.
“Trouble with my apprentice,” Elaine corrected him. “And she’s well into her twenties. Not that she acts like it.”
“You know I adore you, El,” he said. “But you don’t strike me as the mentoring sort. Why take an apprentice?”
The open affection caught her off-guard for a moment. Elaine did her best to move quickly past it, though. Just a turn of phrase,
she thought. “I didn’t exactly advertise for one. Jenna’s uncle is an old friend, though. He helped me get back on my feet when I came back. He said his niece needed a mentor and a safe haven, so I took her on as a favor.” She frowned. “She’s originally from New York, I think. Something bad happened there. I’ve tried not to pry. Whatever it was, it had to be unpleasant, considering she moved to a brand new country to get away.”
Liam considered that. “She seems loyal,” he said. “I can’t remember the last time someone dared to stick a finger in my chest.”
“She’s also stubborn and apparently hard of hearing,” Elaine groused. She glanced his way carefully, thinking on the issue that might still be waiting for her at home. “If you’re planning on heading back to Arcadia, there’s a Hidden Path near the gardens. You don’t need to see me all the way back.”
Liam arched an eyebrow. “Was that supposed to be a subtle hint?” he asked.
Elaine pressed her lips together. “Maybe not so subtle,” she admitted. “I have some business I need to handle.”
Liam shook his head. “I won’t stick my nose into it,” he said. “But I’d rather see you to the door, at least. I did tell your stubborn little witch that I’d protect you today. I try not to go back on my word.”
Elaine sighed. Jenna strikes again, she thought. “All right,” she said. “Make me a promise too. Swear that you won’t get involved in any personal matters of mine tonight.”
Liam narrowed his eyes suspiciously now. “Are you expecting trouble?” he asked.
Elaine turned and poked him in the chest, in about the same spot that Jenna had done. “Promise,” she said. “This is important to me.”
Liam sighed heavily. “Fine,” he said. “So long as it doesn’t concern your physical safety, I will not involve myself in your personal matters tonight. You have my word.”
Elaine let out a breath. “Thank you,” she told him. “I appreciate that.”
He pressed his fingers to his forehead, and she belatedly remembered that he’d told her not to say those words anymore. “Sorry—” She cringed, and cut herself off. Not that word either.
“You are hopeless,” Liam muttered despairingly. He offered out his arm again. “Please, let me take you home before you give your soul away to someone.”
The sky was already darkening by the time they reached Elaine’s street. The more it did, the more Liam’s presence subtly changed. In daylight, he had seemed boyish, charming — she had almost managed to convince herself that he wasn’t dangerous at all. But as the gloom closed in around them, his power became that much harder to ignore. He was still beautiful in form — painfully so, in fact — but there was now a subtle, sinister edge to that beauty that reminded her of the realm from which he drew his magic.
That feeling made her doubly relieved that she’d extracted her promise from him.
No one was outside the shop as they approached it. The lights were off; Jenna had clearly left. For a moment, as Elaine headed up toward the door, she dared to hope that Adam had gone home after all — but she became aware of him stepping out of the café two doors down.
She’d been almost certain she was going to have to have this conversation. Adam had never been good at leaving things be; to him, problems were meant to be thought around, not accepted. A no one day just told him he needed to try a different approach the next day. Elaine had spent most of her time on the way here trying to decide how she was going to handle him — but somehow, all of that preparation utterly fled her in the moment. She pulled out her keys, unlocking the door, already thinking about the possibility of escape.
Liam leaned himself back against the wall next to the door, considering the snowfall that was quickly turning into a full-on blizzard. There was something unnerving about the way the shadows clung to him now, which perhaps explained why Adam didn’t immediately seem to see him.
Adam headed toward her purposefully. “Elaine,” he started. There was a stern confidence in his voice that suggested this was going to be a long, protracted battle.
“You need to leave,” Elaine told him.
Adam gave her an impatient look. “I just want to talk, Elaine,” he said. His tone made it clear just how unreasonable he thought she was being. “Are you really going to cut me off and pretend I don’t exist? That quickly?”
“No,” Elaine told him, more coolly than she felt. “I waited until after the tenth text message to do that.”
“We both left upset the other night,” Adam said, as though he hadn’t heard her. “But we shouldn’t make any final decisions in the heat of the moment like that.”
Elaine turned around incredulously. “We?” she repeated.
God, she was starting to hate that word.
“We, yes!” Adam said impatiently. “Am I imagining things, Elaine? Was I dating myself this whole time, and I somehow didn’t notice?”
Elaine was keenly, uncomfortably aware that Liam had fixed his cold gaze on the man behind her. A deep shame rose up inside her chest, knowing that he was there. The embarrassment was even more poignant because it was so unexpected. She had known that dealing with Adam would be draining and upsetting… but the idea that Liam might lose what respect he had for her in the process suddenly terrified her.
I’m not going to lose my composure, she promised herself. Whatever else happens, I am not going to cry.
“You’re free to change your mind any time, El,” Liam said calmly. The temperature had dropped a few degrees further in his immediate vicinity.
Adam came up short, surprised. He turned to look at the man who’d been listening in. “Excuse me?” he said. “And just who are you?”
Liam kept his eyes fixed on Elaine. He didn’t react to Adam’s question — in fact, for all intents and purposes, he seemed to be acting as though the other man didn’t exist. “I haven’t involved myself,” Liam told her. “But that doesn’t mean someone else might not involve me.” A frigid cold burned behind his eyes. “You’ve left me a hundred loopholes. You have no idea the effort I’m currently expending to avoid walking through them.”
“Elaine,” Adam demanded. “Who the hell is this?”
Elaine swallowed. The situation had begun to slip away from her control. “He’s an old friend,” she said. “Leave him out of this, please.”
Adam’s gaze swept over Liam, taking in his presence more fully. His expression darkened. “I see what’s going on here,” he said quietly.
Elaine flinched. “I really don’t think you do,” she warned him. But Adam had fixed upon an idea, and he wasn’t listening to her, as usual.
“You’re cheating on me,” Adam said coldly. “That’s why you broke up with me. It had nothing to do with your shop, or me not listening to you enough, or… it was all an excuse. I’ve been trying to figure out how to fix us, and the whole time, you were just trying to get rid of me.”
Elaine blinked. The words felt so much like a slap to the face that she wavered on her feet for a second, stunned.
“That is… incredibly untrue,” she managed. “And I… I want you to leave. I’m not going to say that again.”
She shook her head, dazed, and turned for the door again. Her fingers trembled on the keys, so that she had trouble fitting the right one into the lock. She wasn’t entirely sure whether the shaking came from her adrenaline or whether it came from the near-arctic cold that had kicked up around her. Fingers of hoarfrost had begun to thread their way up the glass of the door in front of her.
Adam grabbed at her arm, jerking her away from the door. “I am not done talking to you!” he said. “You think you can two-time me and then just ignore me, as though nothing happened?”
Elaine tugged at his fingers, trying to peel them back from her arm. “Would you let me go, that hurts—”
The words had barely made it out of her mouth before she realized what a mistake they were.
So long as it doesn’t concern your physical safety, Liam had promised.
Adam’s grip
on her arm disappeared. Liam had hauled him away by the back of the collar with a frightening, uncanny strength. His blue eyes blazed with fury. As he shoved the mortal man in his grip into the wall in front of them, hungry shadows shivered across his figure, barely held in check.
“What a pathetic little specimen you are,” Liam hissed. The quiet, uneasy power that had surrounded him before had flared abruptly into a bone-deep chill the likes of which Elaine had only felt before in Arcadia. A heavy, terrible dread settled into the air about him. The long, dark shadow she’d briefly glimpsed with her Witchsight now wound visibly about him like a coiled serpent, preparing to strike.
And he was still beautiful. Liam was, in that moment, the most breathtaking, the most fearsome thing that Elaine had ever seen.
Elaine’s mind blanked. Her muscles went slack. That alien dread wasn’t meant for her, but it didn’t matter. Feeling it near her was enough to remind her of stone trees, icy branches, deep despair. She had known intellectually that Liam was a warlock of Blackfrost. But now he stood before her in the fullness of that dark glory, plucking at old terrors in her soul.
Adam tried to speak, but his mouth moved soundlessly. His mind was having trouble comprehending what he saw.
“I knew a man like you,” Liam told him, his voice deceptively soft. “I know that… smug, self-entitled look. I couldn’t hurt him, but you’re a different matter, aren’t you?”
It took every ounce of Elaine’s strength to speak. “Liam.” His name came out hoarsely, barely a whisper. But she felt the way it clung to his soul, demanding his attention.
The shadows flickered. The cold wavered. Elaine saw as Liam closed his eyes, forcibly restraining that awful power once again. Slowly — very slowly — it folded back in upon him.
Liam opened his eyes again. “You will never bother this woman again,” he said, with calm deliberation. “From now on, as far as you’re concerned, the two of you are strangers.” He narrowed his eyes. “Swear it.”
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