This Point Forward

by Katrina Abbott

  Most of the volunteers were sweet old ladies with their blue hair and adorably wrinkly smiles who sat in the corner with their knitting until they had a ‘customer’ to serve.

  But not today. With a gasp, I realized the person in the volunteer smock, smiling shyly and handing out day-old donuts to a table full of middle-aged ladies in business clothes was none other than my sexy dangerous window guy. No. Freaking. Way.

  I looked around for Chelly, but she hadn’t been called yet and I couldn’t see her around the corner in the waiting area. I locked eyes with Kaylee across from me, but she wouldn’t understand, so I just nodded my head when she asked if I was okay. I mean, no I wasn’t okay, but I didn’t want her to think I was going to pass out; if they even suspected I wasn’t feeling well, they’d take the needle out right away and they wouldn’t get the pint of blood, making the whole thing a total waste.

  “You doing okay?” the nurse asked as she put a piece of medical tape over the needle to keep it in place.

  I smiled at her. “Great, thanks.”

  “I’m going to go get the next girl, but just holler at anyone if you need anything or aren’t feeling well.”

  “I will,” I assured her and then looked back at the guy, watching him as he served the people their snacks. He seemed reserved but friendly—so different than he’d been back at the dean’s cottage, although of course then he’d had reason to be a bit surly. Then, like he could feel my eyes on him, he glanced up and locked eyes with me. There was a millisecond when electricity passed between us before his eyes widened slightly. A spark of recognition seemed to hit him and he narrowed his eyes before he turned back to the lady he was serving, filling her glass with orange juice from the big pitcher in his hand. His smile was gone, though, and once he was done with her, he put the pitcher down on the counter and left the room.

  Great. Now I’ve driven him away, I thought.

  “How you doing, Emmers?” Chelly said as she walked past me and settled into the recliner beside me. She glanced over and then her smile disappeared. “What? Are you okay?”

  Our nurse quickly turned to me but I waved her off. “I’m fine. Just...thought of something I needed to tell Chelly.” I glanced pointedly over at the kitchenette, but there was no way Chelly could ever figure it out now that the guy had left. But as I sat there, trying to figure out how to tell her without the nurse hearing, he returned, this time hauling a full water cooler bottle on his shoulder.

  That was enough to get Chelly’s attention. “Rowr,” she said, not caring that the nurse heard her. Which she had, because she stopped prepping her supplies and looked up, chuckling when she realized why Chelly was growling in appreciation.

  She chuckled and returned to her task. “Oh, yeah, that’s Danny. He volunteers here a few times a week in between jobs.”

  I cleared my throat and when Chelly looked over, I discreetly pointed at my eye with my free hand and mouthed “That’s him.”

  Her eyes widened and she looked at the guy in question and then back to me. “Seriously?” she mouthed.

  I nodded.

  Chelly barely missed a beat. “What’s his last name?” she asked the nurse casually. “He looks familiar.”

  Thank you, Seychelles, I wanted to say, but just gave her a smile. She winked back.

  The nurse glanced up again and stared at the guy as though his last name was written on his forehead. “Shoot, I know this,” she said and then exhaled, turning back to Chelly’s arm. “It’ll come to me. Wait...” she froze and looked up at the ceiling. “Keane? No, Kline? No...Kearns. Yeah, I think it’s Kearns.”

  “Hmm. No, that’s not who I was thinking of,” Chelly said. Then she gave me a querying look, but I shook my head, having a feeling what she was going to do next. She stared at me for a second, like she was considering my objection, but then ignored it anyway. I can’t say I was surprised. At least she dropped her voice when she said, “Is it true about him?”

  The nurse glanced up for a second as she pulled on a pair of gloves. “Is what true?”

  Maybe she didn’t know. She was new, so maybe she hadn’t heard the rumors. Rob had said that Danny was starting to come out from under his past, so maybe...

  “You know,” Chelly said, with a conspiratorial look.

  The nurse leaned in, “That rumor that he killed his family?”

  As one, Chelly and I gasped.

  She looked up at us, seeming to be surprised. “Isn’t that what you were asking about?”

  “We knew he did something, but...” I shrugged, not really wanting to tell her what he’d told me.

  The nurse returned to Chelly’s arm and wiped the alcohol pad around the crook of her elbow. “All I know,” she began, her voice suddenly hard. “Is that as long as I’ve worked here, he’s here volunteering several times a week when other guys his age wouldn’t even think of being of service to their community, especially without getting paid for it. He helps out where he can, the clients love him and he’s reliable; that’s all I care about. And I hope you didn’t come here thinking it was a good opportunity to gawk and dig up dirt on him.”

  I guess we got told. Chelly and I cringed at each other over the nurse’s head as she bent to slide the needle into Chelly’s arm.

  “We didn’t even know he’d be here,” I said, which was the truth, even if she’d been right about the gawking and digging up dirt on him bit.

  But still, she’d (inadvertently) told us more than we had known, more than I ever would have guessed. I mean, his family?

  I looked over at him and watched as he approached a woman who had finished her donation and was now taking a seat at one of the tables. He smiled and said a few words to her I couldn’t hear and she answered him, telling him what she wanted, I presumed, because he nodded and turned toward the kitchenette.

  Could this boy in front of me, with the prison tattoos and the haunted eyes, have murdered his family? And what did family mean in this context? Parents? Siblings? I couldn’t even fathom it, but as my own speculation whirled around in my head, I also heard Rob’s voice, telling me about how he’d been persecuted by the town.

  So as I watched Danny bring the woman a tray of donuts and a glass of milk, shame washed over me. It was wrong to judge him without the full story. Now that I had a name, I could at least Google him and find out more.

  As I thought about this, I heard a beep. “Wow, that was quick; you’re done,” the nurse said to me as she finished up with Chelly. “I’ll be there in a second.”

  I looked over to the tables where I’d have to go next for my snack and juice. As I did, he looked over at me like he’d just had the same thought and was as happy about it as I was. He narrowed his eyes at me menacingly.

  “No rush,” I said to the nurse, my voice cracking.

  Jelly Donuts

  ...knew what it’s like to take a life...

  ...killed his family...

  ...did time...

  ...prison tattoos...

  ...killed his family...

  It was like a chant looping through my head as I walked the short distance from the recliner to the tables, feeling like I was walking the plank. I took a seat next to the business ladies and greeted them with a smile and a hello, figuring I could keep them as a buffer around me.

  I opened my mouth to introduce myself when one of them glanced at her phone and squeaked about the time, causing them all to pop up out of their chairs, thank Danny and disappear. Leaving me alone at the table. Perfect.

  I took a deep breath and smoothed my sweaty palms down my kilt as I waited, knowing sooner or later, I’d have to face him.

  It wasn’t long before Danny stood in front of me. I looked up and smiled, hoping it didn’t look as panicked as it felt. “Hi,” I said. “Fancy meeting you here.”

  He was obviously not amused. “What can I get you?”

  Besides someone else to serve me? I thought. “Uh, just some orange juice would be great. Thanks.”

  Without a word, he
turned toward the kitchenette counter where he poured a glass of juice. He grabbed the tray of snacks and returned to me, placing the glass down in front of me and holding out the tray.

  He didn’t say anything, but I could hear him breathing and for some reason, I had to look up at his face to try to gauge his mood. Somehow, I’d forgotten how stunningly blue his eyes were. Even though they were glaring at me. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “Take something to eat,” he said, his eyes unwavering on mine. “You should eat something after you donate.”

  I dragged my eyes from his and perused the array of snacks on his tray and hesitated for half a second before I reached for the jelly donut. I figured if I was going to eat carbs and fat, I may as well go big.

  “Not that one,” he said before my fingers closed around the pastry.

  My eyes darted up to his face as he shook his head. I was quickly overwhelmed by a sudden anger that felt like it started at my thudding heart and shot right out my mouth.

  “Oh right, because you don’t want the bitch who tried to get you arrested to have the jelly donut?”

  He recoiled as though I’d hit him and then frowned at me for a long moment before finally speaking. “No,” he drawled. “The jelly ones are stale. The crullers are much better. But, uh, you go ahead and have whichever one you like, princess.”

  I swallowed and wondered if I’d ever not owe this guy an apology. “Oh my God,” I whispered. “Why am I bitchzilla?”

  His lips parted, but before he could answer what he didn’t seem to realize was a rhetorical question, Kaylee dropped into the seat beside me, causing him to close his mouth on whatever answer he’d had ready.

  Kaylee looked from the tray still hovering in front of me up to the guy holding it. I had to give her a lot of credit, her eyes only widened a little. I watched as she took him in: sculpted cheekbones and jaw, the tattoo and, of course, those eyes. She was taken and Declan was incredibly cute, but no one would ever make the mistake of calling this guy cute. This guy was sexy. Incredibly, dangerously, devastatingly sexy.

  “What can I get you?” he asked Kaylee, his voice suddenly friendly, making me feel even worse for how I’d treated him. I was kind of jealous at the same time, wishing we could somehow erase everything and start fresh.

  She looked at my glass and then back to him. “Orange is good,” she said and reached for a package of Oreos off his tray. I took one of the recommended crullers before he left to get Kaylee’s juice.

  “Oh my God,” my friend whispered. “He is gor-geous.”

  No kidding. I took a bite of the cruller, the sweet glaze melting on my tongue.

  “What’s with the tattoo?” she asked quietly, but then focused on unwrapping her cookies because he was back with her juice before I could answer.

  “There you go,” he said, placing it in front of her. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m good, thanks,” she said.

  He looked at me and I nodded, giving him a smile. “I’m good, too.”

  “More juice?” he asked.

  “No, thanks,” I said, taking another bite of the donut, figuring stuffing my pie-hole might help me avoid saying more stupid things.

  He nodded and then left us to go check on a couple of newcomers that had sat at the next table.

  Kaylee absently unscrewed her Oreo as she stole glances at him. “God, he’s...”

  “I know,” I said, because she didn’t need to finish the sentence. “But...”

  “What?” Kaylee leaned in. “What’s the deal?”

  “He’s a murderer,” Chelly whispered, taking the chair on Kaylee’s other side.

  Kaylee’s eyes became saucers as she looked from Chelly to me and then back again. “What?”

  I glared at Chelly. “We don’t know. And shut up.”

  “I thought he told you he was,” she said with an eye-roll. Then she looked up and waved at him, like we hadn’t just been discussing him killing people. “Do you have chocolate milk?” she asked him with a smile.

  He nodded and went toward the fridge, giving her an opportunity to lean toward Kaylee. “He’s the guy Brooklyn ran into on the street the day of the food drive. I knew there was something scary about him even though he’s just about the hottest guy ever. Anyway, he told Emmie he killed someone.”

  Kaylee stared at me until I nodded. “We don’t know the circumstances or what the rumors are, but...” I broke off as he returned with the milk and his tray.

  Chelly took one of the jelly donuts without the same protest from Danny, and I didn’t try to stop her, thinking that he would have until it was too late.

  As the three of us finished our snacks quietly, I focused on Danny, unable to get his past out of my head. I wondered if his volunteering here at the clinic was court-ordered. But if it was, he seemed to enjoy it, if the way he’d interacted with the people earlier was any indication. Then I wondered if he lived at a halfway house or was on parole or something. It’s not like I had any clue how any of that stuff worked—my entire knowledge of crime and courtroom drama was gleaned from TV and I wasn’t naive enough to think any of that was accurate.

  But more than thinking about his home life now, I wondered what had happened to him to make him kill people. His people. My heart clenched as I thought about it and those haunted eyes. Something horrible must have happened to him—he didn’t seem like a psychopath and if he’d been incarcerated and had been released, he wouldn’t be here volunteering with the public if he was crazy.

  I was now more than just curious and afraid; I wanted to do something for him, help in some way. I had no idea how, but there had to be something I could do. “Can I talk to you for a second?” I asked him before lost my nerve. “Danny? Can I talk to you?”

  His head whipped toward me at the sound of his name. “What?”

  I felt Kaylee’s and Chelly’s shocked eyes on me but didn’t dare look at either of them. “Just for a second? Please?”

  Without a word, he turned his broad back on me and took his tray over to the counter.

  Humiliation rose like bile in my throat and I fought sudden tears. Chelly exhaled loudly and my eyes snapped up to hers. “Don’t,” I said, knowing she was about to go nuclear on this guy. I mean, I loved her for it, but anything he was dishing out was nothing I didn’t deserve.

  But then, as she opened her angry mouth, he turned back toward us.

  “So?” he said, staring at me with his head cocked, holding his palms up like I was keeping him waiting.

  Without looking at either of my friends, but knowing they were staring, wondering what was happening, I shoved the last of my donut in my mouth and got up from the chair to follow him out of the main donor area.

  Why I Ran Away. Again.

  Danny led me down a hallway, walking quickly, making me struggle to keep up. My heart pounded, what blood I had left after donating rushing loudly through my ears. He pushed open the door to one of the small counseling rooms and waved me in ahead of him.

  I was suddenly, irrationally glad there was a glass window in the door. I didn’t really think he was going to hurt me or anything, but...

  “What do you want from me, princess?” he asked as the door closed behind him with a loud ka-chunk.

  So much for small talk.

  I swallowed hard, the sound amplified in the crackling silence between us. “Uh...”

  “Are you following me?”

  “No,” I said quickly, shaking my head vehemently. “I didn’t know you were here. I came to give blood. We come as often as we can. Donating blood is important.” I cringed at my own lameness. “Donating blood is important;” God, Emmie, you’re such a dork.

  He crossed his arms, his biceps bulging through his shirt. Luckily, I was too nervous to get distracted.

  “You had no idea I volunteer here,” he said. Not a question as much as an accusation.

  “No,” I said again. It was the truth and it’s not like he’d asked me if I’d come into town to stalk h
im at his work. Thankfully.

  “So tell me what you want with me, Emmeline Somerville.”

  My heart lurched when he said my name so pointedly, making my brain sort of stall out to where all I could do was stutter, “I...I...” Which is crazy, because I never stutter. I was the 8th grade speech class champion. I’ve done huge assemblies in front of the whole Rosewood student and faculty population. I had spoken to presidents and celebrities with poise and not even a twinge of nerves, but this one guy had my insides tied in knots so bad, I barely knew my own name.

  Obviously impatient when I wasn’t able to produce any coherent words, he tried something else: “Why did you call my work?”

  Right. That’s how he knew my full name. He knew I’d called A1 Windows with a ridiculous story about the wallet to try to get his last name.

  I am a horrible person, was all I could think in that moment. I sure couldn’t come up with a non-ridiculously humiliating reason why I was stalking him.

  “Well?” he asked when all I could do was sputter and stare at him, my brain whirling, but nothing connecting into speech.

  So I did what any girl in my situation would do when faced by a demanding, sexy and at the same time, really scary guy who may or may not have killed his family.

  I burst into tears.

  ~ ♥ ~

  I hated that I was crying. More than anything in the world.

  Despite being the girl who almost always gets what she wants and works hard to make that happen, I’d never been the type of girl to use tears to get anything. And I sure wasn’t about to start now. Especially with this guy. Not that I thought for a second it would work on him anyway.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, apologizing for both being an idiot and for the tears.