This Point Forward

by Katrina Abbott

  He looked from me over to the teenagers. “Huh?”

  “The iPods I brought. Did you get one?”

  He frowned and then, “Wait, you think I’m one of the residents here? No. I work here.”

  Again? Oh God. I swallowed hard as I felt my entire body flush with embarrassment. Dear universe, I prayed, please open up a black hole and suck me into it.

  When that didn’t happen, I exhaled and shook my head. “I’m so sorry. You can yell at me again. No really,” I said when he smirked. “I totally deserve it.” Wait. Why is he smirking?

  “It’s okay,” he said. “This center has done a lot for me. I was something of a resident for a time. Come with me, I want to show you something.”

  I hesitated, but he really didn’t seem mad.

  “No yelling, I promise.”

  I nodded at him and gave Chelly a final look before I followed Danny out of the dining room. He led me down a hallway and around a corner and for a split second, I got scared. I didn’t really think he was going to hurt me, but the tattoo, his confessions...you just don’t forget stuff like that.

  “Why were you trying to scare me before?” I blurted out.

  He stopped abruptly. “When I asked to talk to you?”

  “No,” I shook my head. “Before. At the school, when you said you’d killed someone.”

  He frowned down at me. “I wasn’t trying to scare you. I was telling you facts. You kept apologizing for thinking I’m a criminal. But you were right; I am a criminal.”

  What the hell, I thought, I’ve already humiliated myself in front of this guy numerous times, might as well go for broke. “What happened?”

  His frown deepened, the creases in his brow more pronounced. “What are you talking about?”

  “What happened to make you a criminal?”

  He quickly looked up and down the hall causing panic to thread through my veins. I stepped back away from him, but before I could do anything else, his hand closed on my wrist like a vice and he pulled me into a dark room, the door slamming shut behind us. I squeaked, but he shushed me as he flipped on a light switch, revealing a huge pantry.

  “What are you doing?” I finally managed.

  “I wanted to talk to you.”

  My heart stuttered in my chest. “You can’t just pull girls into dark closets like that!”

  He blinked several times, like he hadn’t realized what he’d done was scary as hell. “Sorry. I...” he ran his hand over his scalp, the scratch of his short hair sounding ridiculously loud in the otherwise quiet room. “God, I won’t hurt you. I didn’t mean to scare you. But what did you mean ‘what happened?’”

  I tried to back up my brain to only a few minutes ago. “What?”

  “Asking me what made me a criminal. You can’t tell me you don’t know.”

  As I looked at him, I realized that haunted look was back. I hadn’t noticed it hadn’t been there today until just now. When he talked about his past, he seemed to become distant, like a ghost.

  “I don’t know.”

  He crossed his arms and cocked his head. “You didn’t Google me?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I started to, but...” I shrugged.

  “But what?”

  I shrugged again, looking over his shoulder. “It felt sleazy. I didn’t want to find out that way.”

  “So you have no idea.”

  “Not really, no. I mean, you said you took a life, but that’s all I know for sure.”

  He stepped forward toward me. Somehow I stood my ground, not sure what he was doing, but I felt confident he wasn’t going to hurt me. Though I wished someone would tell my racing heart that. I looked up into his eyes, not defiant, but not backing down, either.

  “You didn’t Google,” he said. Not a question. But I shook my head anyway.

  He looked away and scrubbed his scalp with his hand again, his square jaw working as he shook his head. “You didn’t Google,” he said again, softer. Then he looked back at me, his impossibly blue eyes intense but different than before. The ghost was gone, replaced by something else, something intense, electric.

  I had about two seconds to ponder this before his big, warm palms were on my face and he got so close that my eyes blurred. And then I only had time to inhale before his lips were on mine in one of those crushing kisses that I only ever thought happened in movies.

  The Pantry

  At first I didn’t move, simply shocked that he was kissing me, because it was the last thing I expected of him. Then my hormones took over and I’ll admit, I kissed him back, because oh my God, he was a good kisser. His hands were still on my face and it was like I was the center of his whole universe as he seemed to worship me with his mouth, letting out a little groan as he tasted me. His lips, his tongue, his hands, the solid muscles of his waist under my hands: it all became my universe.

  So yeah, I got caught up in it. But only for a second until my brain got back online and I realized what was happening. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back, trying not to be distracted by the wall of hard muscle and the thudding heart below my fingers.

  “What...?” I managed to get out, sort of tongue-tied.

  He stared at me, his chest rising and falling as he breathed hard. “Sorry,” he said, not exactly looking it.

  “Why?” I asked, because apparently I could only come up with one word questions.

  He ran his hand over his head again and avoided my eyes as he shrugged. “It surprised me that you didn’t look me up.”

  “So that made you want to kiss me?”

  “No.” He shook his head as his eyes returned to mine. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the second I met you. Knowing you didn’t get sucked into the hype and Google me made me have to kiss you.”

  My throat completely dried up at that, making speech impossible. Not that I had any sort of response.

  He exhaled and turned around toward the shelves, his broad back to me. “I wanted to show you the pantry,” he said over his shoulder, changing the subject.

  I pretended to put that kiss on the back-burner and looked at the shelves full of cans and boxes of food. “Why?”

  He turned back toward me. “Because yesterday, these shelves were almost empty. I wanted to thank you. I judged you unfairly when I met you.”

  “But you still wanted to kiss me?”

  He shrugged, a smirk turning up the right corner of his mouth. “I’m a guy.”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  He looked down, hiding his eyes from me, shy. “And you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Even though you’d called the cops on me.”

  I’d never had a boy take my breath away. Until now. I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something, but I couldn’t. Not yet.

  “Anyway,” he said. “I wanted you to know I appreciate what you did here. With the food and also with the iPods. That was...it was really nice. I’m sorry I was a douche.”

  “I judged you unfairly, too.”

  He shook his head. “Not really. Anyway,” he said taking a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, but no, I guess I’m not sorry about that. It won’t happen again, though.”

  “Thank you,” I said, because I knew I should. I pushed away the pang of disappointment and reminded myself that I’d seen him buying condoms; this guy had a girlfriend who he’d basically just cheated on by kissing me.

  “We should go back out there before someone get suspicious.” He grabbed the door handle, leaning in close enough that I could smell him. I don’t know why I was surprised at how good he smelled. I mean, he wasn’t dirty or anything, but maybe since I’d met him when he was doing hard work, I expected him to smell sweaty, earthy. Though I’d never gotten very close to him that day or even at the blood donor clinic, I wouldn’t have expected him to smell like the perfect combination of leather jacket and aftershave: manly, sexy.

  He turned the handle and opened the door, but stopped when I said his
name. “Will you tell me? What happened, I mean?”

  “You can Google it,” he said. “It’s all out there to see. Most of it’s true. You’ll get the idea.”

  I shook my head. “I want to hear it from you. The real truth; no sensationalized BS. That’s why I didn’t Google.”

  He worked his jaw as he looked from my eyes to my mouth and back again before he simply said, “No. Find out somewhere else.”

  And then as I stood there, mouth agape, he left.

  ~ ♥ ~

  Before I could even orient myself to the dining room and who was where, Chelly met me just inside the door, grabbing my arm firmly and guiding me over to an empty spot at the buffet table.

  She peppered me with insistent questions. “What happened? You look freaked out. What did he do to you?”

  I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

  “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” she asked, her eyes narrowing as she looked over my shoulder, watching for him to come in, I presumed. Though I could have told her he wasn’t coming; somehow I knew he’d left the building.

  “No.” I shook my head. “He didn’t hurt me. He’s...I don’t think he’s like that.”

  Chelly lifted an eyebrow.

  “Seriously. Despite everything. He did the opposite of hurt me.”

  She stared at me for a long second before her eyes widened in awareness. “Hot felon...”

  “Shhhhhh,” I said, looking around, but no one was paying us any attention. The dean and Marjorie were chatting like old friends in the corner, each with a plate of snacks in her hand, and Dave was goofing around with a bunch of the center’s teens over their iPods.

  I nodded at Chelly. “He kissed me,” I whispered.

  Her eyes widened even more. “He...kiss...what? Are you serious?”

  I nodded, pushing the memory of the kiss out of my head or I was going to get so red.

  She looked around. “Where is he now?”

  “I don’t know. I think he’s mad because I asked him to tell me what happened.”

  “And?”

  “He wouldn’t tell me. I think it’s a sore spot for him.”

  She gave me an eye-roll that said, obviously, but then asked, “So how did the kissing come about? And more importantly,” she said, pausing to select a Christmas tree shaped shortbread off a platter before she continued, “Was it as hot as I imagine it would be?”

  “When I told him I hadn’t Googled him, he just sort of kiss-bombed me.” I shrugged. “He seemed...I don’t know...impressed that I didn’t buy into the hype.” I didn’t tell her what he’d said. For some reason, his line about having to kiss me felt magical and just for me to play over and over in my head later. Not that Chelly wouldn’t have appreciated the swoonworthyness of it, but I wanted to keep it just for me.

  “And the other thing: Hot, yes?”

  I blew out a breath. “Hot, yes. Way hot. Hotter than it should have been.”

  “Better than Dave?” she asked.

  I glanced over toward the boy in question, feeling like I was betraying him. “Different.”

  “Hotter than Rob?” she asked, catching me off-guard because I’d forgotten she knew about that.

  I gave her a look but she was undeterred and continued on like she’d been the one who’d gotten kissed. “Definitely hotter. That forbidden fruit thing makes it way sexier. I mean, Rob’s like a peach, but this guy...hello banana!” she said with a wink. “Though Rob is smokin’, too,” she added with a nod, like she was tallying it all up in her head.

  I wasn’t about to disagree with the part about Rob. And it’s not like I wanted to compare the guys. The situation with Danny had been intense and spontaneous and wasn’t going to happen again, so there was no reason to overthink it or compare it to my make out sessions with Rob.

  Though Chelly wasn’t done with it yet. “Tongue piercing?”

  “Not that I noticed,” I said, smiling as her face fell slightly.

  “Too bad. I’ve always wanted to make out with a guy with a tongue piercing, and with all those tattoos, I thought maybe. I was hoping I’d get to live vicariously.”

  “Sorry.”

  “So now what?” she asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  She looked around and then leaned in close. “Hot felon kissed you. Hot felon is spending the holidays on campus. Other than you and hot felon, campus will be a ghost town. I’m not great at math, Emmeline, but even I can figure that equation out.”

  My stomach flipped over at her words, but I told it not to bother. That kiss was an isolated event and meant nothing. He’d promised it wouldn’t happen again and anyway, he had a girlfriend. For all I knew, she’d be staying at the cottage with him. And Fiona, whoever that was.

  But still, deep down I realized that despite it having been an isolated event, I’d know he was on campus. And no matter how hard I tried, I’d never forget that kiss or what he’d said to me.

  And Then There Were Two

  The day I’d been dreading was finally here: the day when all my friends left Rosewood for the holidays.

  Rosewood buses were leaving every half hour for the airport. Celia left first, heading to Australia to join her family on location at a film shoot with her uncle, the movie star. Her parents were part of his entourage and often traveled with him, which meant they got all the perks of being celebrity-adjacent without the hassle of the paparazzi and people caring what you look like without makeup.

  Kaylee was next and got picked up by her hot future duke who I guess was still incognito since he picked her up in a cab. I presume the cover was only until they got to the airport and stepped onto his private jet.

  Before she left, Kaylee stopped by my room to say goodbye. I gave her a big hug and told her she’d have an amazing time and not to be intimidated by meeting the Queen, if she got so lucky, because she was still just someone’s grandma. I think I inadvertently made her more nervous because now she was thinking about meeting the Queen’s princely grandsons, but with that cute Declan (or whatever his real name was) to guide her, I had no doubt she’d charm them all.

  Chelly was spending her holiday in Vale skiing with her family (well, knowing Chelly, she’d spend more time chasing hot skiers around the chalet than actually on the slopes) and was the last of my friends to leave on the two-thirty shuttle to the airport. I gave her a big hug in the lobby and rolled my eyes when she told me to be sure to text her about how it was going with the hot felon. She also got serious and promised to text me on Christmas because she hated that I was going to be alone on campus.

  “I’m so sorry I couldn’t take you with us,” she said. “You know what my parents are like with ‘family time,’” she said, doing air quotes. “They both work so much that the few times a year we’re together, they get mental about it, even though they’ll probably ignore me and Bryce the whole time.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, embarrassed that I’d practically begged her to get her parents to invite me along. “We need someone to hold down the fort here, right? And I need to keep an eye on my e-commerce site; it’s been so busy lately and I’m worried the server might not be able to handle all the traffic. And there are still those glitches...”

  Chelly frowned at me. “Do not spend all of your time at your computer, nerd. By my calculations, you still have another day with Rob and then you have two weeks with your hot felon.”

  “He’s not my ho...stop calling him that, Chelly!”

  She wrapped her arms around me again and when the hug was done, we both had tears in our eyes. “Be good,” I said to her.

  “I’m always good,” she said with a sniffle. “Don’t forget, Emmie. I’m only as far as a text away.”

  I nodded and watched as she rolled her giant suitcase through the propped-open front door, letting it bang down the front steps as she headed toward the bus. Once she had handed off her bag to a porter, climbed on the bus and I couldn’t see her anymore, I took a deep breath and turned toward the stairs.
r />   ~ ♥ ~

  The school was eerily quiet. Even with a few kids still there who didn’t have flights until the next day, the place felt deserted. I texted Rob, my last friend on campus, but he was busy tying up some things before he left for the holiday. He promised to take me out for brunch the next day before he had to leave for the airport, though, so at least I had something to look forward to.

  Until then, I sat in the third-floor lounge by myself (for the most part—some girls dropped in between stints of packing) and watched as many romantic comedies as I could stomach, which I’ll admit was a surprising number. I even pulled out some old school classics: Pretty Woman, Sleepless in Seattle and Love, Actually, which seemed fitting due to its Christmas theme. I felt pretty pathetic crying along, but at least there was no one there to witness it.

  At four-fifty-three a.m. I startled awake, realizing I’d slept through the ending of Something Borrowed, which didn’t matter, since I’d seen it before. I was actually glad that I’d managed to get to sleep at all. I would have stayed there on the lounge sofa, but knew the last of the girls would be up soon, dragging and banging their suitcases down the hall, rushing to get the buses to the airport. So I dragged my tired butt to my dorm room and threw myself onto my bed.

  Eighteen minutes later, I was not just still awake, but wide awake. With a sigh, I texted Brooklyn since it was the middle of the day in London.

  I bought your brother a goat and two chickens for Christmas. I hope he likes them.

  I had enough time to use the bathroom, brush my teeth and boot up my laptop before she responded. What?

  I sat down on my bed with the phone. Out of the catalog, remember?

  Right. He’s not really into livestock.

  She must have forgotten about the charity that you donate to and they send specific items to those in need. Goats were my favorite things to send. I smiled and slid my feet under the covers before I sent back, It’s not like he has to touch them.

  You shouldn’t have gotten him anything.

  I looked at the phone and felt my smile dissolve. I wondered if she said that because she knew he hadn’t bought me anything. Or because she was saying in her gentle way that I needed to stop pursuing him. Probably that was it. And she was right, but...