This Point Forward

by Katrina Abbott

  Except he wasn’t done with his workout. “Time for some weights,” he said.

  “Right,” I breathed. “Yeah, me too.” Which was a total lie. Other than orientation in gym class, I’d never done any weight-lifting.

  “Great. We can work in together,” he suggested.

  “Absolutely.” I nodded, even though I had no idea what he meant. But I quickly found out it meant do heavier weights than you should ever even attempt to lift in order to show this god that you aren’t a weak girl.

  The good thing was that in between sets, we could chat and as promised, there was no yelling (or kissing).

  I told him about my pet projects, like Gucci for Goats and my e-commerce site, and in turn, found out that he had his own place in town near his work, that Fiona is the dean’s cat and that Danny is the nephew of the fire chief who is friends with the dean and that’s how she knew him. She obviously trusted him to watch her home and her cat, so I had to think that despite him telling me more than once that he was a criminal, whatever had happened must have been an isolated event. Maybe it had all been a big accident that he felt responsible for. Maybe he’d made a mistake and had inadvertently hurt his family. Whatever it was, he hardly seemed like a murderer now as he leaned over my body, spotting me as I did squats with a very heavy barbell.

  “You’re doing great,” he said with an encouraging smile.

  Busy with trying to keep all my vital organs inside my body, I was unable to respond. Unless rivers of sweat pouring down my face could be construed as a ‘thanks.’

  After two sets of those that ended with him having to take the bar from me (with one hand) so I wouldn’t drop it, I’d had enough. It didn’t matter how lonely I was or how much I wanted to be around another human, I couldn’t endure any more of this torture.

  “I’m done,” I breathed, wiping my forehead on my sleeve. “I need a shower.”

  I didn’t miss the once-over he gave me and knew if I wasn’t already flushed from the exertion, my face would have heated under his gaze. He’d promised no more kissing, but I couldn’t forget about what he’d said about kissing me at the youth center. I got the distinct feeling that despite his promise, he wanted to kiss me again.

  “I should go,” I said. It was getting dangerously heated in the gym in a way that had nothing to do with temperature.

  He nodded. “It was good working out with you.”

  “Ditto. I’m sure I’ll see you around,” I said as I took a final swig of my water before tossing it in the recycle bin and walking toward the change room.

  “Looking forward to it,” he said to my back.

  I smiled but didn’t turn around, pretending I hadn’t heard.

  The Next Day

  Thanks to that ridiculous workout, I was incapable of movement. Other than painful trips to shuffle to the bathroom out of necessity, I didn’t leave bed, existing on snacks I had in my desk after calling down to the kitchen to tell them not to fix me any meals.

  At least I’d slept like the dead.

  Mid-day I got the following message from James O’Neil:

  Hi, Emmie. Great to hear from you. I looked into the names you sent and all check out. Brooklyn Sylvie Prescott is a US Citizen enrolled at your school and is the daughter of two professors who are currently residing in London, formerly of Denver. I wasn’t able to confirm if she’s left the country recently, but Homeland Security isn’t too forthcoming with airline manifests.

  Their son, Robert, is studying at Yale. I couldn’t find anything on any sort of security threat or covert operations, but did see that the security at your school has been increased lately—they’ve added two people to their full time security detail, but that could be routine thanks to a paranoid celebrity or politician. If you have anything more specific, let me know and I’ll see what I can find out. Until then, have a great Christmas and New Year's!

  Well, Robert had been studying at Yale, but that James’s information was a little out of date didn’t make it any different than what Rob and Brooklyn had told me themselves. But I guess I was relieved that they were who they’d said they were. I was starting to get all paranoid with Rob’s cloak and dagger routine.

  But it still didn’t shed any light on why he’d duped me like that. Nor where Brooklyn was now, though I was glad she was okay. I couldn’t imagine he would lie about that, right? As I looked around the dorm room and realized none of her belongings were left, only Chelly’s, it almost felt like I’d dreamed Brooklyn up.

  I hoped that wasn’t true. And I hoped she really was okay and that she’d come back and explain it all.

  The Day After That

  Still barely able to move. Repeat of the day before, except without the sleep. Thank God for Red Vines and Oreos.

  The end.

  Christmas Eve Eve

  As I finally left my dorm room the next day—when my formerly screaming muscles were now only muttering protests—and headed down to the dining room for some real food, I thought about Christmas and how I would be spending it. I’d decided there was no reason for me to mope around Rosewood feeling sorry for myself, so I’d called up Marjorie who said she’d love to have me on Christmas Eve to help celebrate with the residents.

  I knew without having to ask that Danny would be there, too, but it seemed after our shared workout, we’d formed something of a truce. I pretended that my going to the youth center had nothing to do with him, but deep down, I realized I could have just as easily gone to the place where I’d served the Thanksgiving meal with the other Rosewood girls. Obviously, I was lying to myself, but if I didn’t look at it too closely and just reminded myself that no matter where I was going, I was doing good, it didn’t matter so much why I’d chosen that location.

  I just hoped Danny wouldn’t think I was following him again, since the youth center was obviously his turf.

  But the reality was, I wanted to see him again. After the disaster with Rob, I’d texted the girls to tell them I was turning off my phone and then went completely offline, worried he was going to try to contact me and I’d be stupid enough to listen or forgive him. I wasn’t ready for that yet. Maybe never. Though I supposed I was going to have to face Brooklyn at some point.

  But since I’d gone off the grid, I was desperately lonely and was looking forward to some human contact in the kitchen. Anna and Doreen were the two members of the culinary staff left on campus and fussed over me as I sidled up to one of the counters inside the huge school kitchen. They were both Jewish and had celebrated Hanukkah with their families earlier in the month, so they used this quiet time to catch up on their staples, preparing things like stocks, soups and other things that could be easily frozen like bread and cookie doughs.

  I was barely seated when a plate of breakfast came toward me: pain au chocolat, cheese, fruit. I thanked Doreen and tucked in while Anna poured coffee into four mugs.

  I opened my mouth to ask, but realized who it was for when another plate appeared beside mine and I was enveloped in his smell half a second before Danny dropped onto the stool beside me.

  “Hi,” I said, giving him a smile.

  “Hey.” He smiled back. “Thanks,” he said to the ladies then added some cream to his coffee from the carton on the counter.

  Doreen and Anna turned back to their prepping and chopping of what I was sure would soon become something delicious, based on the smells coming from the other side of the kitchen. I took a bite of my flaky pastry, silently thanking my high metabolism for counteracting all the carbs, but also feeling like I’d earned a treat after that workout the other day. And I had to do something to fill the silence that was stretching between Danny and me; may as well enjoy the food while I was at it.

  He was the first to speak. “Something wrong?”

  I looked at him. “What? Why?”

  “You look tired.”

  Great. So now it was showing that I hadn’t slept in two nights. I sighed. Maybe because I was tired or because I couldn’t remember why I’d been emb
arrassed about it before, whatever it was, I didn’t have the energy to lie to him. “I don’t sleep well when I’m alone.”

  “Why?”

  I shrugged. “Ever since I was a kid. My parents left me alone a lot and now I guess I have issues.” I realized how stupid it was to talk about my ‘issues’ with this guy, but it was already out of my mouth; no taking it back now.

  “I get that,” he said sympathetically.

  I looked up into his eyes and saw that he really did get it. I nodded at him. “Thanks,” I said, returning my eyes to my plate.

  “So. You’re going to the center tomorrow?”

  Not surprised he knew already, I wiped my mouth with my napkin before I answered, hoping there wasn’t any stray chocolate on my face. “Yeah. I’m not doing anything here.”

  “No family?”

  I shook my head. “My parents are vacationing.” Saying they were on a world cruise sounded so grossly entitled. I opened my mouth to ask him about his family and mentally slapped myself, thankful I’d stopped before anything came out as I remembered the news articles I’d seen on Google. I hadn’t looked at any of them, but the headlines were enough to tell me his whole family was gone. “This croissant is so good,” I said lamely. At least it was the truth and not a hot button issue.

  “I’m going to get fat eating here over the holidays.”

  I gave him an obvious once-over. “Hardly. I think your body is allergic to fat.”

  He gave me a shy smile and then, oh my God, blushed!

  “Shy?” I asked, unable to help myself because it was adorable in the sexiest way imaginable. Although I was now blushing, too.

  “I can drive you tomorrow,” he said, ignoring me, but the quirk in his eyebrow told me he’d heard me just fine.

  I shoved the last ginormous bite of the pastry into my mouth to give myself a moment to consider that offer. Nope, not gonna happen; although we could sit there in the kitchen next to each other, a car ride into town with him felt way too intimate. I shook my head. “It’s okay. I’ll get myself there,” I said as soon as I was able to without fear of spitting croissant flakes on him.

  He reached for his coffee mug and looked at me. “Do you have a car here?”

  I dragged my eyes away from the big hand wrapped around his cup to look into his amazingly blue eyes, wondering if there was anywhere on him where I could safely look without being totally distracted. Is this what it felt like to be a forty-five year old cougar? Before I went down that terrifying road, I had to answer him. “No. But I have a few things to do in town and I’m not sure what time I’m going to go in. I don’t want to hold you up, so I’ll just meet you there.”

  He frowned. “You sure?”

  Never more sure of anything in my life. “Yeah. Thanks,” I said before I shoved a handful of grapes in my mouth.

  Christmas Eve Night

  Hanging out with Marjorie and the kids at the youth center turned out to be my best Christmas Eve ever.

  Marjorie sat me beside her at the dinner and we talked like old friends while the kids served us (and here I thought I’d be the one doing the serving!). As they came by the table with dishes and to refill our sodas, they kept thanking me for the gift cards and the iPods, and a few even gave me big hugs, which was amazing. I honestly felt like I was getting more out of the gifts than they ever would. At one point, Marjorie whispered to me that most of the kids wouldn’t get any other Christmas gifts than what I’d brought and some had never gotten anything as big a deal as the iPods ever. It made me feel bad that I’d always been so focused on young kids for our toy drive in years past, but I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

  Then, after we ate, we played some games and drank eggnog and ate from boxes of chocolates being passed around. We all laughed and had a great time like the big family I’d never had. I swear I wanted to hug the whole room.

  I hadn’t seen much of Danny all night as he was busy with the kids who treated him like their god, but when Marjorie turned out the overhead lights and gathered everyone to sit around the tree, he appeared beside me. Marjorie had us count down and then she turned the lights on for the tree. We all did a big “Oooh Aaaaah” before she started us off singing Away In A Manger. By the fourth line, Danny was leaning into me, his shoulder pressing lightly against mine. It was the subtlest of moves, but meant so much coming from him. I turned and looked at him; he smiled back at me even though he was singing.

  He had a nice voice, deeper than Dave’s, but a little rougher. It wasn’t as perfect as Dave’s but somehow Danny’s felt more honest, if that makes sense; less polished, I guess. Which made sense since I didn’t get the feeling Danny did a lot of singing.

  I pressed my shoulder back into his and we stayed like that, leaning on each other as we sang carols facing the tree decorated by a bunch of youth center kids. It was nice: comforting and real. I wondered if my parents were having such a heartwarming time on their cruise, having a black tie dinner with a bunch of obnoxious, over-privileged, strangers like themselves.

  As I looked at the tree, I noticed something glinting in the lights and squinted to see if it was what it looked like. “Is that a Rosewood ornament?” I stopped singing and said.

  Danny pressed into me until I looked at him. He was grinning. “I was going to show you later; but the kids made it for you.”

  “That’s crazy,” I said.

  “They like you. They wanted to do something to show you how much they appreciate what you did.”

  “It wasn’t just me. That’s not why,” I squeaked out through my suddenly tight throat.

  “I know,” Danny said. “But a lot of it was you. And I know why.”

  He held my gaze until I realized he saw inside me and somehow knew me in a way no one else ever had. It was suddenly too much; I had to turn away. Without another word, we both began to sing.

  ~ ♥ ~

  It would have been silly not to let him drive me back to campus, so after Marjorie hugged us both and we bade goodbye and a very Merry Christmas, I climbed into Danny’s truck and rode shotgun next to him on the short ride back to Rosewood.

  “That was really nice,” I said after a few long, quiet minutes.

  “Yeah.” He fiddled with the heater. “You warm enough?”

  I nodded. “I’m good, thanks.” It had been a mild winter so far and although I’d never been a big fan of snow, I’d hoped for at least a dusting for Christmas. A green Christmas just felt wrong somehow.

  “So much for a white Christmas,” Danny said, making me feel like he was inside my head. Again.

  “I guess not. This is what California must feel like.”

  “Except for the freezing rain,” Danny said drily.

  He turned into Rosewood and stopped at the guardhouse to wish the guard sitting in the booth a Merry Christmas. As he did, I shoved the box of chocolates Marjorie had forced on me in front of Danny. “Give him this,” I said.

  Danny offered it to the guard who smiled and thanked us as he took the chocolates.

  He did up his window and turned to me as he pulled away. “That was nice.”

  “Totally self-serving,” I said with a shrug. “I ate about eight-thousand calories tonight, not even counting the eggnog. I can’t afford more junk.”

  He smirked at me before returning his eyes to the driveway ahead of him.

  “What?”

  He glanced over at me for a second and said, “You’re full of it.”

  Anger washed over me. “What does that mean?”

  “Don’t be mad,” he said, his voice even. “You thought of that guard back there, spending his Christmas Eve alone and you found a way to make it a bit better.”

  “So?”

  “So nothing. You’re a good person. That’s all. I’m just saying that I really don’t think anything you do is self-serving.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, so I folded my hands in my lap and looked out the window. He pulled up to the Rosewood main entrance. We both sat there for
a long moment and I wondered if he was feeling as awkward as I was. Finally, I turned and looked at him. “So, uh. Merry Christmas, Danny.”

  “Same to you, Emmeline.”

  “Emmie,” I said. “My friends call me Emmie.”

  He nodded. “Merry Christmas, Emmie.”

  I gave him another smile and got out of the car, jogging up to the door and pulling it open, noticing he waited until I got inside before he drove away.

  I walked down the hall and checked in with Doyle at security, letting him know I was back and he could lock the front door. He thanked me and wished me a Merry Christmas before I wished him the same and headed up the stairs.

  ~ ♥ ~

  I’d just turned out the light in the bathroom after brushing my teeth and was heading to change into my pajamas, when there was a light knock at the door, scaring me half to death. After I pressed my palm to my chest to slow my racing heart, I expected Doyle, letting me know he was leaving the building, even though it was weird for him to come all the way up here to tell me so. But as I looked out the peephole, I was shocked to see it wasn’t him at all.

  I opened the door. “Danny?”

  More Confessions

  “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

  He worked his jaw and I could tell right away he was already regretting knocking on my door. “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

  “It’s okay. What’s up?”

  He looked down the hall toward the stairs. “Never mind. Sorry.”

  “Danny,” I said, stepping forward to put my hand on his arm, knowing if I didn’t, he’d bolt like a deer into the woods. “What’s going on?”