Reaching Rachel

by LL Collins

  Alexis looked at her mother. “Mom, I’ll help Auntie Rachel with Benji and Cierra. You don’t need to worry.”

  Kayley kissed her daughter on the head. “Okay, then. Have fun, and be good.”

  “Mommy!” Benji cried out as Kayley made her way for the door. She stopped and hugged him again. Alexis walked over, taking his hand and distracting him with his favorite toy.

  Rachel turned, wondering what they were going to do now, and stopped in her tracks. Devin was sitting on the floor, Cierra in his arms. She was giggling at Devin as he made silly noises. Her stomach constricted with the sight. She’d never seen him holding a baby before, and it was making her feel something foreign; something motherly. It had been days since Devin’s little visit to Mark/Justin, and there was still no word. Spending time with Kayley’s kids was a nice distraction.

  He looked over at her and smiled. “She’s so cute,” he commented, rubbing his nose against Cierra’s, who giggled again.

  “She looks like me when I was a baby,” Alexis chimed in, sitting down next to Devin on the floor. Benji followed her, still sticking close to his big sister. “Mommy and Daddy said I was the cutest baby ever. Did you know I have two daddies? That makes me special.”

  Rachel laughed. Alexis was something else, and of course was warming right up to Devin, too. Benji watched them, his big blue eyes still shimmering with tears.

  “Do you want to play ball?” Rachel asked Benji, crouching down next to him on the floor. He nodded his head silently, and she held out her hand. He took it, and she moved him away from the other kids so they could roll the ball. He came alive, laughing and squealing as she missed the ball he rolled.

  “Benji, look at how fast you are!” Rachel laughed.

  “Me pway baw wif Daddy,” he said. Rachel rolled the ball back to him, watching Devin out of the corner of her eye with the two girls. Alexis was handing Devin a bottle for Cierra, the little mommy that she was. He settled Cierra back in his arms, and she took the bottle in one hand and held onto his hand with the other.

  Their eyes met across the room, and they both smiled. This felt—real. Nice. Even though they were just borrowing these adorable children, they both knew that someday, they wanted it to be them, too.

  Rachel grabbed her carry-on bag and followed Devin off the plane. They had just landed in Alabama for the weekend, much to Devin’s dismay. He didn’t agree with her wanting to come here, at all. He had been in touch with the Mobile detectives working the case, and they had talked to Alana, who agreed to meet with Rachel. She was at home now, having been released from the hospital after months in a coma. She had a long way to go, with her body being atrophied from being still so long, but overall, she was in good shape. Being young and in shape had helped her immensely.

  Walking into the terminal, Devin turned on his phone so he could call Alana to let her know they had landed. She had been very sweet and accommodating when he had explained to her who he was, and who Rachel was. While he still didn’t think this was a good idea for Rachel’s state of mind, he knew she would’ve gone without him, so he chose to support her desire to be here.

  A message popped up from Andrew, and he hit play, putting the phone to his ear. As he listened to the message, a smile broke out on his face, and Rachel stopped in her tracks.

  “What?” Her stomach constricted with nerves. But he was smiling, so that should mean something good, right?

  “That was Drew. Mark’s attorney called the D.A. this morning. He’s accepting the plea deal. The papers will be signed today. It’s over, baby. It’s over.”

  Rachel covered her mouth, unable to believe what she was hearing. It was over, really? Devin grabbed her, swinging her around in the middle of the airport. She squealed, laughing and crying together in jubilation. After all this time, it was over. She wouldn’t have to testify in front of him. She’d never have to lay eyes on him ever again. And neither would Alana.

  Dragging her down his body as he released her, his eyes darkened as they touched. “It’s over, baby. He’ll never hurt you or anyone else again.”

  Rachel nodded, tears spilling over her cheeks and running down her neck. “I can’t believe it. Thank you.”

  “I’ll do anything for you,” he responded, kissing her lips gently. He laced his fingers with hers as they walked to baggage claim. While they were here, he was going to make the most of it and use it like a little vacation. Tonight, they would see Alana. After that, he planned on making sure every single one of Rachel’s stressors was removed from her life.

  They pulled up to a modest home in a nice neighborhood in Mobile. Rachel had been quiet on the way over, her mind reeling with everything that had happened. Mark was going to be gone. She wondered if Alana knew yet. She already felt close to her, and she had never even met her. Then again, something as traumatic as they had been through would bond anyone.

  “You okay?” Devin asked, turning the engine off. She smiled, knowing he wasn’t 100% on board with this visit, but loving that he was being supportive anyway.

  “Yes. Let’s do this.” She stepped from the car, straightening her hair and smoothing her shirt. Devin came around and put his arm over her shoulders, and they walked together to the front door.

  Rachel’s stomach jumped in anticipation as they waited for the door to open. When it did, an older woman answered, a friendly smile on her face.

  “Hi,” Rachel said. “I’m Rachel Dawson, and this is my boyfriend, Devin Putnam.”

  “Rachel, Devin, welcome! I’m Alana’s mother, Alice. Please come in. Alana’s been looking forward to your visit. That was so nice of you to come here all the way from Florida to meet her.”

  The three of them walked into a cozy living room, filled with many pictures of what looked like several tow-headed children growing up through the years. Rachel settled herself on the couch, Devin next to her.

  Moments later, Alana wheeled herself down the hallway, and as she entered the room, she and Rachel locked eyes, feeling a bond immediately. Rachel stood as she made her way into the room, walking towards her with tears falling from her eyes.

  Alana was a beautiful woman, petite with light blonde hair cut short at her chin and big blue eyes. She had a huge smile on her face despite the fact that she had been through so much.

  “Alana,” Rachel stopped in front of her and reached out her hand. Alana took it, and she caressed it gently. “It’s so great to meet you. I’m Rachel, and that is my boyfriend, Devin.”

  Alana looked past her to Devin, then raised her eyebrows at Rachel. “Wow,” she mouthed, and Rachel laughed. Oh yes, they were going to be great friends.

  “Wow is right,” Rachel whispered back. Alana followed Rachel into the living room and situated her chair next to the couch. “How are you feeling?”

  “Stronger every day. It’s hard work to come back from sleeping for months. The doctors say I’ll be just as strong as I was before with a lot of physical therapy.”

  Rachel thought to her own therapy, and the pain she still felt in her shoulder. “I understand that. I was in physical therapy for my shoulder.”

  “Where he shot you?” Alana asked quietly, and the women looked at each other in silent understanding. Rachel nodded, rubbing the spot.

  “Did you hear?” Devin interrupted, rubbing his hand on Rachel’s back. Alana swung her eyes to him, and Rachel almost giggled at the look on Alana’s face when she looked at him. Devin really didn’t know how hot he was, or the effect he had on other women.

  “Hear what?” A blush crept over Alana’s cheeks.

  “Mark accepted the plea deal,” Rachel announced. Alana looked back at her, eyes wide, and Rachel nodded. “He did. Devin here had something to do with it.”

  The women’s eyes swung to him, and he feigned shock. “Who, me? Nahhh.”

  “Devin’s a cop,” Rachel explained. “He somehow got someone to let him in to see Justin the other day, convinced him to take the plea deal I guess. I’m still not sure I want to know how
or why.”

  “What?” Devin laughed. “I just twisted his arm.” Rachel looked at him quizzically, but he just winked.

  “We don’t have to see him,” Alana said, echoing Rachel’s exact thoughts from earlier.

  “No, we don’t.” The two women looked at each other in silence, knowing that they were saying more silently than they could ever brave to say out loud. They got it like no one else could. “They diagnosed me with PTSD after I woke up in the hospital. I never thought that I could have something like that, you know? I felt ridiculous, like I should be able to control my own thoughts and fears. But I couldn’t. I had a lot of therapy—and still do—and my rock right here,” Rachel covered Devin’s hand with hers. “But there are still days when I don’t think I can do it. I just wanted you to know, it’s okay to have those days.”

  Alana watched her, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Thank you for sharing that, Rachel. I know that had to be hard to do. I’m sure it was even hard for you to come here to see me. You’re lucky to have such a great support system. I had a friend like that, a boyfriend … before Mark. I screwed it up, to be with him, so now I have no one.”

  “Find him,” Rachel squeezed Devin’s hand, and he squeezed back. “You never know until you try, Alana. Devin and I, we wasted years without each other. Don’t make that same mistake. I know I live in Florida and you live here, but I want to be here to support you the way I’ve been supported.”

  “I’d like that a lot, Rachel. I can’t ever tell you how much it means to me, you being here. Thank you for your advice. I do want to be loved, find love again, but I’m afraid. First, the doctors weren’t even sure I would wake up at all. Then, they didn’t know whether I would have brain damage or have any memory at all of what happened to me. Now they say I’m a miracle. I’m not sure I feel that way. I mean …” she looked around to see where her mom was. Satisfied she wasn’t listening, she continued. “I wouldn’t call it a miracle that I was beaten, raped, and almost murdered by my boyfriend, then spent months in a coma. I’ll never be the same again, you know? I mean, I’m so grateful to be alive, to be here with my parents and to see my sisters again, but I’m not sure I’m ready to say it’s a miracle.”

  “I know,” Rachel said, feeling exposed that Devin was there but knowing she couldn’t do it without him. He rubbed circles on her back as she talked. “There were many days right after I woke up that I didn’t feel that I wanted to be here, to continue living. Even though I had everyone around me, rallying around me, helping me, I felt isolated, alone. Of course, I was injured, but that wasn’t the problem. I felt crippled, broken inside, like I couldn’t possibly come back from what he did to me. But, in time, I did. I still am. It was a long road to get here, but I know you can do it, Alana. I know I just met you, but I can see that you have a fire in you, a desire to be happy and not let him win. We can’t let him continue to affect us. If we let him stop us from being happy, from moving on, from finding love again, then he’s won.”

  “So many people have tried to cheer me up, make me see that it’s amazing I’m alive, but none of them get it. Hearing it come from you, it really hits home. I know that you know exactly how I feel, and you’ve had a couple of months to start healing. I can only hope that I do as well as you have.”

  Rachel and Alana had visited for over two hours, talking about anything and everything. She felt like she genuinely had a friend, someone she would be connected to for a long time to come. When they left because Alana was getting tired, they arranged to meet for lunch before Rachel and Devin left at the end of the weekend. It made her feel better, to use her experience to help someone else. Dr. Troast would be proud.

  “I’m so proud of you, Rachel. That was impressive, what you did back there.” Rachel looked over at Devin as he drove away from the house, his dark shades hiding his eyes and his arm draped casually over the steering wheel. Her heart palpitated as she took him in.

  “Thank you, Dev. That means a lot to me. I know you weren’t thrilled about coming here, but thank you for indulging me. It was great, seeing her. I’m glad we came.”

  “I was just worried about you,” he admitted, lifting his shades so he could look her in the eyes. “I didn’t know what seeing her would do to you. I just want you to keep moving forward. But you were right. Doing this actually helped you.”

  “Dev, you can’t be so worried all the time about me falling apart. Are there going to be times when it’s just too much for me? Yes. But I’m a big girl. I can handle it. And if I can’t, I’ll tell you. I promise.”

  She leaned over and pressed her lips to his while they were stopped at a stoplight. “I love that you are so protective over me, though. Thank you.”

  “Always,” he whispered against her lips. “Now, for the rest of the time here, you’re mine. All mine. Well, except for when we meet Alana for lunch.”

  Rachel grinned, bringing his hand up and kissing his knuckles. “That sounds fabulous to me. Where are we headed first?”

  “I thought we’d go to the Botanical Gardens. It’s beautiful out, and it’s a very peaceful, relaxing place. What do you think?”

  Rachel looked at him and grinned. “Did you have this planned?”

  “Well, I’ve heard that it’s beautiful, and I also knew you would need some time to decompress after this week, so yes, I did plan it.”

  “That sounds great, Devin. There’s nothing more I’d like to do than spend the day relaxing with you. Well, except if we were alone, you know.” She wriggled her eyebrows at him.

  “Oh, don’t you worry,” he responded. “There’s plenty of that coming tonight too. That’s the final step in de-stressing you. And me.”

  Devin pulled up to the Botanical Gardens and they headed to buy tickets and go in. Rachel had never been to Alabama before, and loved looking around at all of the beautiful trees and flowers in the gardens. They hiked through trails hand in hand, stopping whenever they felt like it to kiss in the middle of the walkway. It felt amazing to not talk for one second about anything other than them.

  Stopping in the Rhododendron Garden, Rachel gasped at the beautiful azalea’s surrounding them in all different colors and sizes. It looked just like something you would see in a painting. “It’s so beautiful,” she murmured, turning in a circle to take it all in. Devin slid his arms around her from behind, nuzzling her neck.

  “I agree,” he said into her ear. “But I’m not talking about azaleas.” She leaned into him, closing her eyes, enjoying the feeling of being complete with Devin at her side.

  Turning in his arms, she put her hands on his face. He looked down into her eyes, and the whole world fell away. They could’ve been surrounded by a million people or just a few, and she wouldn’t have known the difference. “Why do you love me so much? I don’t deserve you,” she whispered, searching his eyes.

  “Oh Rachel,” he moaned back, bringing a hand up to his face to cover hers. “You deserve everything, baby. You need to stop believing that you aren’t good enough. Why do I love you? For so many reasons, I could tell you all day. But to start, I love that even when you act so tough, you’re really a softie inside. You don’t show many people that, but I know it. I love you because after all you’ve been through, you still have enough compassion to think of others. I love you because you complete a part of me I never thought I needed to have completed, and as much as I tried, I’m just not the same without you. You are not just an amazingly beautiful woman, sensual and sexual and stunning, but you are extremely intelligent and driven. I love you because you are you, Rachel Elise Dawson. There isn’t anything not to love about you. Does that answer you?”

  Without waiting for her answer, he dipped his head and kissed her softly, sweetly, like he was trying to make the moment last forever. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the moment. The trees rustled and she could hear birds in the distance, but at that second, it was just them, the way she wanted it.

  “You sure know exactly what to say to make me a puddle of mush
,” she joked after he pulled away. He winked and pinched her backside, making her squeal. “But seriously, Devin. I can’t even list the amount of things you’ve done for me in the last few months. You are the most selfless, amazing person I’ve ever known. And you’re mine. I must’ve done something right to deserve someone like you.”

  “We belong to each other. There’s nothing else that can explain it, Rachel. When you think about the circumstances that brought us back together, you know that there was something else at work there. I mean, I had no idea where you lived now. What are the odds of me getting a job, where you live, and being there that day? I know we don’t want to bring Mark into this, but …”

  “He brought us back together,” she finished. “I know. Isn’t that the craziest thing ever? I had to be with a psycho in order to get the love of my life back. I wonder if it’s possible for us to move forward without any more stuff happening to us. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t say that.” They laughed, and Devin led them to a gathering area in the middle, adorned with pavers, benches, and columns. Set up in the middle was a blanket and a picnic basket.

  Rachel looked at him, incredulous. “You did this?” When he nodded, she shook her head, laughing. “I swear. I don’t know what to expect with you.”

  “That’s the point,” he laughed. “I can’t become predictable.”

  Settling down on the blanket, Devin laid out fruit, cheese and crackers, cut up vegetable slices, and a light, fruity white wine. “This is the appetizer for the main course.”

  “Which is?”

  Devin looked at her suggestively, and she got it. She grinned, anticipation tickling her stomach. Leaning over to feed her a grape, she wrapped her tongue around his finger as he offered the grape. His eyes zeroed in on her finger as she sucked the fruit into her mouth, and he immediately followed his finger with his lips. She passed the grape into his mouth, and he bit it in half and then shared the other part back with her. Reluctantly pulling away, they chewed their half grape in silence, the tension crackling between them. Rachel picked up another grape and ran it along Devin’s lips, the thought of doing this to him later in their room making her quake with desire.