Crowned with Guilt (Remember the Reaper Book 1)

by S. K. Rose

  “That’s us in the window,” he pointed to the picture excitedly.

  “Andrew, this is beautiful. It’s our castle, what I always imagine it to look like,” I whispered in awe.

  “So, you like it? I know it’s not much.”

  “It’s perfect, I’ll keep it forever.” He grinned and propped up the drawing carefully on a higher branch.

  “I’m glad you like it. You have your castle; now I guess all you need is a crown,” he said mysteriously.

  “That might be a little expensive.” I giggled, bumping my shoulder playfully against his, but when I looked over, his expression had turned serious.

  “Tess, that’s not the only thing I have to give you for Christmas.”

  “Prince Charming, you are really outdoing yourself this year, but really, this is all I need and more.”

  He shook his head profusely and his bright green eyes burned into mine. “I want to grant you one wish, princess, anything you want that I can do. I just. . . I really want to give you something you deserve. I don’t understand why you got dealt such a shitty family, but I want to do anything I can to make up for them, to make you happy.”

  A blush creeped up my neck, admittedly, something in our friendship had shifted over those past few months. We used to wrestle and play all the time, but then a single touch from him brought a shiver up my spine. Sometimes when he was close, I feared he could hear the roaring sound of my erratic heart.

  I met his gaze, embarrassed, and thankful the cold had reddened my skin making it impossible to see my blush. “What you’re saying is instead of being my prince, you’re really my fairy godmother?” I asked with a playful smile.

  His eyes twinkled back at me as he nodded in agreement. “I’m whoever you need me to be. A prince when you need saving, a wizard when you want a little magic, and a fairy godmother when you deserve a wish.” His expression had never been so serious.

  I knew what I wanted most in that moment, but I’d never be able to voice the question.

  “Andrew, I want you to—” I darted my eyes away, too self-conscious to finish. Before I knew what was happening, his hand gently turned my chin towards him.

  In the cold, I could see the quick puffs of clouds from his breath revealing that he was just as nervous as me.

  I closed my eyes and felt his soft lips on mine.

  We had no idea what we were doing, but it was instantly the most magical thing I had ever experienced. His breath was warm and minty, and for a second I felt something exploring my bottom lip. When he finally pulled back, I was breathless. He rubbed his cold nose against mine and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

  “I love you, Tessa” he whispered. “Someday I’ll take you far, far away from this horrible place and make you my queen.” I shuddered as his warm breath tickled my neck, wishing with all my heart that time would speed up to that very day.

  “Shit, Tessa, I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that.” His voice snaps me back to the present.

  Raising a hand to my wet cheeks, I brush away tears that continue to squeeze out. Goddamn, I spent much of my childhood dry as a bone, and now this.

  I thought I could start fresh. I thought I could ignore the fact that I’m the villain in this tragic tale.

  But I wear the guilt of what I’ve done like a crown upon my head.

  Every time he reaches for a forgotten memory, has a seizure, or slurs a word. . . it’s all my fucking fault.

  I fight the bloodcurdling scream that bubbles to the surface. I can’t do this, I can’t be near him one more fucking second without it ripping up what’s left of my wretched heart. I grab my bag, and walk away without another word. Refusing to even glimpse back, I pick up the pace until I’m running.

  I run past the buildings and down the sidewalk until I’m at the bus stop that will take me downtown.

  He was wrong about me that day; I don’t deserve happiness. I deserve to be used up and spit back out. I deserve hell and that’s where I’ll run to, because that’s all I know anymore.

  Chapter 26

  ─────

  Andrew

  I stand quickly, ready to fix whatever damage I inadvertently caused, but she’s already halfway to the entrance of the school and gaining speed. Man, that girl can run.

  Letting out a frustrated sigh, I sit back down and try to figure out what the hell I did wrong. One minute she’s completely fine, maybe a little sad, but honestly that seems to be her norm. The next minute she's sobbing, pain blistering her features.

  I hear my phone go off and look down to see Marybeth has messaged me through her new favorite message app that she forced me to download. Why we can’t just text is beyond me. Chicks are weird.

  Cottoncndygrl: Hey bro, how was study hour with Tessa? ;)

  Drew19: Not great actually

  Cottoncndygrl: What did u do Drew?

  Drew19: Nothing! I asked about her favorite color and she started crying and took off.

  Cottoncndygrl: Uh oh, k. . . I’ll ask around and see where she might’ve run off 2. This one’s not ur fault Drew.

  Drew19: What’s wrong with her? I mean has she told you anything?

  Cottoncndygrl: Not my story 2 tell bro, I know a little but I think there’s a lot I don’t. She’s not exactly an open book ya know? Go 2 your next class and let me worry about it, I’ll tell u what I find out at home.

  Drew19: Alright, thanks sis

  Cottoncndygrl: No problem broseph

  I shake my head at the annoying nickname and head to my next class. It’s going to be a long afternoon with only one thing on my mind. Tessa’s distant blue eyes pooling with tears has seriously messed me up. Not for the first time I had to fight down the urge to take her into my arms.

  My mind juggles different theories of what could be wrong. Maybe an estranged boyfriend broke her heart, or could something bad be going on at home? Either way, in her eyes I’m a stranger, I can’t expect her to confide in me yet.

  But I’ll do whatever I can to earn her trust and friendship.

  Chapter 27

  ─────

  Tessa

  TFGIF! Thank fucking god it's Friday. That's how the saying goes, right? I’m going to spend the weekend at Oasis and earn some good cash. I need a shower, a stiff drink, and my loathsome wings strapped on so I can imprison myself in the cage and dance to my heart’s desire.

  Ace is happy to see me and is more than fine with me staying the weekend in his guestroom again. A little too happy if you ask me. There’s another problem to check off on my ever-growing list.

  At some point during the night, Ace tells me to take off the wings and take off the rest of the night. Apparently, my moody demeanor is scaring away some of his precious customers.

  Rehydrating with a bottle of water I lean against the exposed brick wall to catch my breath. A beautiful man, who appears to be in his mid-twenties, zeroes in on me from across the room.

  Striding his way to me, I brazenly check him out. Ripped body, clean cut, jet-black hair, and damn that ass. The epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. I nod in his direction while giving him my best ‘come fuck me’ eyes. Men are so easy, it hardly seems fair.

  “Can I buy ya a drink, lass?” Sweet mother of God, he’s got the sexiest accent I’ve ever heard.

  “How about some shots?” I grin, batting my fake-ass eyelashes at him.

  He shakes his head with a chuckle and follows me to the bar. Tonight’s bartender is Mark, who’s currently too busy flirting with a couple of half-naked girls to see us. I take it upon myself to reach over the bar, sticking my ass way up in the air, to grab a bottle of expensive whiskey. Once the shots are all nicely lined up, Mr. Sex on a Stick is raising an eyebrow at me.

  “So, you’re a dancer and a barmaid?” he asks.

  I nod and slide him a shot. I’m guessing he watched me dance in the cage and wanted a private show. I raise up my shot glass to his and they clink together before we toss them back.

  “Are
ya gettin’ trollied then?” he yells over the loud music.

  “What? No, I took the bus here,” I yell back.

  He smiles and shakes his head at me again.

  Five shots later, he’s deep into a ridiculous story and my stomach hurts from all the laughter and booze.

  “No! You didshn’t!” I exclaim, slurring a bit.

  “Aye, what else could I do? The bloke caught me with my bloody arse hangin’ out!” He smiles, banging his fist on the bar to make a point.

  I throw my head back and laugh. Everything’s whirling around me, my vision’s fuzzin’ up a bit, but it feels good to let everything go, to say fuck it and have some fun.

  Leaning over the bar to put my girls on full display, I gaze deep into his honey-brown eyes.

  “Sexy, I don’t understand half the shit you say, but I sure like the way you fuckin’ say it.”

  I’m abruptly lifted onto the bar and sliding toward his taut body. I waste no time wrapping my legs around his waist, my crossed stilettos resting on his ass.

  “Do all American birds use such foul language?” He chuckles, but I can see the lust in his eyes

  “As far as I know, American birds tweet and chirp just like your British ones,” I tease with a wicked grin.

  The way he licks his lips lets me know he wants to take me right here on the bar.

  Oh. And now I can feel it too.

  I giggle and press myself against his firm body, making him even harder. A vision of my Andrew pops into my head, but I shove it away quickly. I won’t think of him, not anymore.

  I scoot forward until there’s no space between us, and when I give a little wiggle, I’m rewarded with a low, guttural noise from Mr. British. Then his mouth is on mine, teeth tugging on my bottom lip. One massive arm wraps around me, and the other grabs a handful of my hair.

  Everything spins, my body is alight with a fire that’s stoked by a messy mixture of anguish and lust. I can’t stop, I never want to stop. It feels fucking good to have human connection, to pretend I’m not alone in this godforsaken world. His hands travel up to cup my breasts as we kiss in a frenzy of drunken desire.

  Once more, Andrew pops into the forefront of my mind. I hear his voice calling my name, which is just fucked-up and weird—even for me.

  “Tessa!”

  Fuck, that’s not in my head is it?

  I jerk free and whirl around to find blazing green eyes boring into mine.

  Lust is replaced with anger. Who the fuck does he think he is? More importantly how the fuck did he even find me?!

  Oh, goddammit that’s how.

  I see Blossom standing by the door, her eyes darting around the club nervously. I’m gonna take a wild guess that their parents do not know where their kids are right now. Jesus, how did they even get in?

  To say Andrew looks upset would be a vast understatement.

  “Who is this? Do you even know?” he demands.

  “Umm. . .” Shit, I never did get his name, did I? “Mr. British?” I ask with a giggle.

  I slide off the bar and steady myself, trying to stand straight and look sober. Andrew runs his fingers through his hair with an exacerbated noise.

  Mr. Sex on a Stick releases me, not looking so happy about being interrupted.

  They’re both being total downers. To get the party going again, I reach for the bottle of whiskey next me on the counter.

  Like a fucking magic act, it immediately disappears from my hand and returns to the counter. I blink a few times trying to figure out how it did that. Turning around Mr. British has also seemed to disappear.

  Poof! It’s Magic!

  I let go of the bar to find him, instantly a huge mistake. Losing my footing I trip over my stupid heels. Someone catches me just before I hit the floor.

  He smells of cinnamon, just like I remember.

  My prince, always saving me.

  Chapter 28

  ─────

  Andrew

  After school, I wait in the car for Marybeth. I think back to when the doctors in Chicago told me it was possible I would never learn to drive if I had any serious lingering effects from the trauma. I was relieved when I got the go-ahead to take the test and get my license. Of course, Mom and Dad are still paranoid and demand that one of them or Marybeth is always in the car with me as a safety precaution. I didn’t put up too much of a fight; I was just happy I didn’t have the luxury of driving taken away from me.

  Where is Marybeth? Probably chatting it up somewhere if I knew my sister. She had this after-school thing she couldn’t get out of, but it’s already half past six. There’s no real reason for me to be this worried, and protective of Tessa, but I am. Maybe it’s because my sister is so close with her.

  Yeah, that’s gotta be it. I’m just looking out for Marybeth and her best friend, like any good brother would do.

  I know for a fact Marybeth is hiding things about her from me, considering she dodges all my questions. What, does she think I’m too dumb to notice? What could be so bad that she wouldn’t tell me? We aren’t just siblings, we’re best friends, and always tell each other everything. Well we used to, anyway.

  Just as I let out a frustrated sigh, I spot my sister finally heading in my direction. I don’t give her a chance to buckle her seatbelt before I start questioning her.

  “Did you talk to any of her friends? Did you find out where she might have gone?” I try to calm the tremor in my voice.

  “First off, chill bro, we will find her. Secondly, I discovered the hard way she doesn't have any friends, like at all, zero. In fact, she’s gone out of her way to piss off or scare as many people as possible at this school.” She exhales and sits back in the seat.

  “Great, what did you find out?” I can’t keep the disappointment out of my voice.

  “Well I have a list of different places she’s been spotted before on weekends and what not, it’s not much to go on, but at least it’s something?” She pleads, worry thick in her voice.

  Considering we don’t have any other option, I agree it’s a good start. I make a quick call to Mom to let her know where we are. She tells us to be safe and that if Tessa is in any trouble to bring her on home for the weekend.

  When I get off the phone, I realize something about that conversation was a little off.

  “Why would mom say to bring Tessa home if she’s in trouble?”

  I ask the one person who knows the most about the situation. “Well.” She looks nervously away from me and out the window, her hands fidgeting in her lap.

  “Just spit it out—what aren't you telling me?”

  “I wanted her to open up about it to you herself, but you remember how I was at the hospital with her after she passed out?”

  I nod. How could I forget?

  “I don’t know the details or anything, but she definitely isn’t staying with her parents.”

  “Okay, so who is she living with?”

  “Well she sort of mentioned something about an aunt, but—”

  “But?”

  “I don’t think she’s staying with anyone, Drew. I think she’s homeless, and I’m positive that besides us, not a single person knows.” Tears well up in her eyes. Growing up in such a supportive and loving home, sometimes we forget that our family is the exception, not the rule. Most homes are broken, but this is much worse.

  I look up toward the top of the car and slowly let out my breath. This is bad. Why wouldn’t she say anything to someone, get help?

  Because she’s untrusting and stubborn as hell, that’s why.

  “Beth, where’s the first place on your list?”

  She sniffles and wipes away her tears, pulling a notebook out of her bag. We drive around all night looking in the most random places. Anywhere from a bowling alley to this little Mexican food shop. Finally, we’ve crossed off everything on our list except one, Oasis.

  “What the hell is Oasis?” I ask her impatiently.

  “Well, this one I actually got from that scary tat
ted-up-looking senior, uh Jed. He and a few friends know the owner and get in free on the weekends. He said Tessa actually works there.”

  “Okay, so, why did we leave this place for last then?”

  “Well, it’s kind of a nightclub,” she mumbles under her breath.

  “What!” I yell and grip the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turn white.

  “Oh, don’t be such a drama queen. I still have those fake IDs, you know.”

  “Oh, sure you mean the ones we’ve never used and never planned on using, but we had to have because it was a rite of passage for us?” I glare over at her.

  “Well, maybe we just call it quits then,” she rounds, calling my bluff.

  Not ten minutes later, we’re parked in front of a neon green sign on exposed brick that reads, Oasis.

  “Okay, I’m going to go in and get Tess. You’re going to stay right by the door and wait for us. I swear to God, do not argue with me on this one, Marybeth.”

  She gives me a mock salute, a happy sparkle back in her eyes. I sigh and get out of the car.

  Once inside, I immediately zero in on her, surprising since it’s a good-sized crowd. For a second, spots of anger blur my vision. We’ve been worried sick, and she’s over here on a bar, dry humping some old guy.

  I storm over, forced to say her name multiple times before she finally detaches herself. Looking blankly at me with glassy, bloodshot eyes, I quickly learn that she’s beyond plastered.